Alpha Romeo Metaphor IV

[Enrico Pucci]

It was a really straightforward week. No drama or nonsense, just totally focused on the upcoming match against Dresden. Today really feels like fall with the cool temperature and drizzle. The Fritz-Walter is two-thirds full.

I decided to play Lorenzo Filippini over Amilcar Silva because Filippini will keep possession better (no Hollywodd passes).

It was pretty quiet until the 15th minute when Marlon Ritter played a long ball into the channel and Muhammed Kiprit chipped the keeper but hit the post.

That woke up Dresden.

They brought the ball down and forced a great diving save from Avdo Spahic to keep the match scoreless.

Both teams are hard-working and both teams stifled each other for the rest of the half.

We started off the second half strong.

In the 48th minute, Rene Klingenburg crossed for Saydou Bangura. Sadly, Banger's header missed by a hair.

In the 52nd, Ritter's dummy run opened up the left side for Filippini. Klingy's pass was perfect, but Filippini blazed over from 15m.

In the 54th, Kiprit played a ball into the left corner. Everyone was charging the net hoping Filippini's cross would be delivered to them. Instead he over hit the cross.

They cleared, but Tomiak won the header. It fell to Niehues who gave it to Klingy who played Billy Arce in. Billy blasted his shot directly at the keeper.

We had Dresden on the ropes, but we just couldn't finish.

Banger's header from Ritter's corner looped high and over the end line.

In the 63rd, Filippini crossed and Klingy's header looked like it was going wide, but Muhammed leapt and redirected it in!

1-0

FINALLY!!!

Now we had to defend the lead.

In the 74th, Ritter played a free kick into the box. A mad scramble ensued.

Flying tackles, flailing legs.

Eventually they cleared it but Niehues gave it right back to Ritter.

Ritter snuck a pass through the defense and Kiprit smashed it in for our second!

Nope. Ref is reviewing the play with the VAR official.

Its not going to stand.

Bummer.

All compliments to my players. They really managed the game well. Dresden only had one chance and it was even that good.

We primarily kept the ball in their end until the final whistle.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Sunday, 16 October 2022

No calls from ATK this morning about any new injuries. Gwen and I took the kids to a nature park and walked. Allie wanted to walk but got tired after a while then rode on my shoulders. It was a beautiful fall morning. We got sandwiches at a little place we like then headed home for the big match of the day.

Paderborn host Schalke at 1:30pm. Schalke go top with a victory, pushing us down into second.

C'MON SCP07!!! YOU CAN DO IT!

I was also going to keep my eye on the Werder Bremen match. Mainly cuz they're a trainwreck and Marc van Bommel might get fired without a good result. Werder visit Heidenheim.

At 4:30pm, fourth place Leicester host sixth place Leeds in the EPL. In the late match (7pm) Atletico Bilbao are third and they host Atletico Madrid who are fifth in the La Liga. Gwen said she'd make Indian so I'll have great food to go with my La Liga, too!

Schalke got lucky. They only managed two shots on goal and got one in off the post. Werder were horrible in their nil-nil draw. I can't see how Marc van Bommel keeps his job as they drop into the relegation zone as Darmstadt won away at Düsseldorf.

Leicester beat Leeds one-nil.

And Luis Suarez scored in the 30th to give Atletico the victory. The Rogan Josh Gwen made was awesome.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Monday, 17 October 2022

8am

I sat down with my espresso. I didn't have a sip. I just stared first at Jörg, then at Ulf. Then I tested it to see how hot it was. It was just right.

I slammed it.

"Ja, they're f***ing killing me, too," Jörg agreed.

"F***ing killing me," I agreed.

"At some point we'll start converting those chances," Ulf noted.

"C'mon you whiny little boys," Agnieszka said. "We're winning. We're not losing. Who cares how?"

"You know she's got a point," Goalkeeping coach Wolfgang Wimmer said.

"Are you sure you don't have any Italian heritage ATK?" I asked.

"She's right," Lorenzo D'Anna said. "Winning is all that matters. And I'd suggest she'd make a great Italian."

"Alright, fine," I said. "I'll stop worrying about how many chances we create, just be happy that we create them, and be grateful the gods of Fußball are smiling upon us."

"I still feel like any match now the dam will break," Ulf commented.

"Well let's just work hard and get that dam to break," I said in the best German-version of Ted Lasso I could manage. Jörg groaned. Several coaches looked embarrassed for me. "But seriously, what do we have to look forward to against Holstein Kiel, Florian?"

"Well, they play tonight," Florian

said. "So I'm guessing we'll all be watching. They're on a bad run, only one win in their last five. They play three at the back and they sit back with eight players defending and hope to hit on the counter. They should be vulnerable down the flanks. Now in their most recent win, they scored three second half goals to come from behind to undress Dresden. This was at home. I will say that the goals Dresden gave up were pretty weak. Aside from the Dresden match which seems more of an anomaly in the last six, they have not been creating many chances."

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Monday, 17 October 2022

Holstein Kiel lost. Early goals did them in.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Friday, 21 October 2022

11:53am

"Wagué was s*** this week," Jörg said as he finished his lunch.

"Ja, he didn't have a good week, did he?" I replied. "He apologized when I brought it up."

"Ja, how many times did he get nutmegged?" Lorenzo D'Anna asked.

"Too f***ing many?" Jörg said.

"And he missed a few headers," Lorenzo noted. "He never misses headers."

"Normally, they're out of the line-up," Ulf noted.

"Ja, normally," I said. "But I just complimented him after his great performance in the last match."

"Hüsing?" Jörg asked.

"Ja, he's bided his time," I said. "He's worked hard. Hasn't complained."

"So ... risk Wagué after his terrible week?" Ulf said. "Or risk Hüsing missing a header?"

"Ja, I've got to stick to my principles," I said. "Wagué is out, Hüsing is in."

"What about Hollywood?" Lorenzo asked. "He had a great week."

"Ja and Filippini was really good last week and was fine in training," I noted. "I'm going to stick with Filippini because of his better possession stats."

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Barely over a thousand Roten Teufel traveled into the far northern reaches of Germany for this one. As the squads paraded out, I thought to myself 'France hosts Switzerland' because of the kit colors. While it may be raining with strong gusts of wind, at least its not cold. Regardless, I'm sporting the finest Kaiserslautern rain gear.

We exchanged chances in the first couple of minutes but then the match settled into a wet, midfield slog. Neither team could get much going and it wasn't pleasant to watch.

The first good chance of the half came in the 34th minute from a Jean Zimmer cross to the back post. Saydou Bangura was backpedaling to reach it and rather than get a weak header on goal, sent his header back across the 5m box.

Muhammed Kiprit got to it first and smashed his header directly at their keeper.

In the 38th, Ritter had the ball in the left side of their box, he spun his defender and crossed for the back post.

Their keeper got a fingertip to Rene Klingenburg's header, it hit the crossbar and they cleared it.

Nothing else happened in the first half.

"Alright, listen up," I said as I walked into the away team room after chatting with Jörg about what to say. "First, I want to say that we held them in check defensively. However, offensively, we weren't good enough. Move the ball quicker, the conditions are poor, we're bound to get our chances if we work hard off the ball and move the ball around faster."

We didn't start out the second half so great. They controlled the ball and penned us into our own half.

Bangers fouled their fullback about 40m out in the 48th minute. We cleared their long ball free kick and Bangers was first to it.

As he dribbled up the left flank, he saw Muhammed sprinting forward. He thumped a long ball up into the channel.

The gusty winds moved the ball around and their defender misjudged the descent of Banger's pass and Muhammed was in on goal alone.

He smashed his shot for the far corner and, while the keeper got a hand to it, he couldn't keep it out.

0-1

This woke Die Störche (the storks) up. They increased their work rate and started moving the ball quicker.

In the 54th, their midfielder played a pass up toward their striker that Oliver Hüsing was marking. Somehow, Hüsing missed the interception and let the striker in behind him at the same time. The shot hit Avdo Spahic and Boris Tomiak cleared off the line.

I spun and waved to Günther Kern who was getting substitutes warmed up. Once I had Günther's attention, I held up two fingers then three fingers. #23 was Molla Wagué's number. A moment later and Wagué jogged over to get ready to come on.

"BILLY! BILLY!" I yelled during a lull a moment later. Billy was on the far side of the pitch so communication was difficult. Yet another pass of his had squelched directly to an opponent instead of his target. I pointed to my temple then yelled in Spanish: "IMPROVE YOUR PASSING! CONCENTRATE!"

He waved to indicate he'd heard me.

Wagué was ready and waiting to come on in the 62nd minute. We were just waiting for a stoppage. They played a long ball in the direction of Hüsing. He misjudged it and it went over his head. Luckily, their striker misheaded it because of the swirling winds and the chance passed.

Wagué went on for Hüsing and Robin Becker for Zimmer. Their left fullback had been regularly beating Zimmer and Billy wasn't helping much. I told Becker to remind Billy of his defensive duties.

Hopefully, this would shore up our defense.

In the 74th, Wagué saved us. Filippini and Banger were out on our left flank but were unable to prevent the cross. Their striker redirected the cross but Wagué blocked it out for a corner.

They continue to press for the tying goal. In the 81st minute, I removed Filippini and sent on Amilcar Silva. Lorenzo was exhausted and we had a lead to defend.

As we tired, their efforts increased; they'd gotten their second wind.

In the 89th, their right back passed inside to their striker. Wagué had him boxed out so their striker passed back out to the fullback.

He crossed to the back post where their other striker smashed a header off the crossbar!

"F***!" I exclaimed. If we saw this one out, we would need to ride our luck. How much more luck did we have left?

As they lobbed in yet another cross, the fourth official held up his board. Five minutes? F***ing ridiculous!

Billy cleared the cross.

They curled in another and Wagué cleared.

They tried again down our right flank but Billy blocked their left fullbacks cross out for a corner.

They headed the corner high and out for a goal kick.

I looked at the clock. 91:03. Only four more minutes? Sheesh, would we hold?

Spahic took forever to get the ball then even longer to place the ball for the goal kick. He played a short pass to Tomiak just as the ref was about to card him for time wasting. Then we kept the ball for three minutes and on the one occasion they intercepted a pass, we swarmed them and immediately won it back.

But they did get it back and in the 95th, Silva blocked their cross out for a corner.

Spahic snared the corner and fell.

He got up slowly.

He rolled the ball to Tomiak.

The ref looked at his watch.

Tomiak rolled a pass to Becker.

The ref blew three blasts to end it!

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Sunday, 23 October 2022

Jörg, Ulf and I drove up to Gelsenkirchen to watch Schalke v Osnabrück. We play Osnabrück this Friday and Schalke the weekend after.

"So van Bommel got the axe," I said as I drove north on the Autobahn towards Bonn.

"Werder in the f***ing relegation zone," Jörg said.

"You knew it was coming," Ulf said. "But how did a class guy like van Bommel lose the squad like that?"

"They couldn't score," I said. "Not a goal in their last five."

"Its baffling," Ulf said. "With the talent in that squad ..."

We'd all been at clubs when everything went wrong. Bayer Leverkusen had a famous collapse in Ulf's last season and lost the title in the last few weeks. First, the strikers can't score. Secondly, the defense isn't perfect and points are dropped. Third, the manager tries some things that fail. Fourth, snowball rolls downhill getting bigger and bigger. Fifth, confidence gone, hopelessness takes its place.

Then we discussed Filippini v Silva and Zimmer v Becker. Next up was getting more out of Billy Arce. Finally, we discussed recruitment for next season and what targets Olaf and Co have discovered. A side topic was if we got promoted, would we have any money to spend?

Then we were driving through Gelsenkirchen and pulling underneath the Veltins Arena.

The stadium was pretty much full. A couple thousand Osnabrück supporters were in a corner in the upper deck.

Schalke were third and a win over the sixth place visitors would put them back on top.

The Royal Blues (Die Königsblauen) got off to a great start. Nassim Boujellab unleashed a tomahawk missile that nearly burst the netting from 30 meters to open the scoring. This was a real Golazo.

Osnabrück equalized in the 22nd. They lobbed a cross into the box and everyone was marking their large center forward Felix Higl. However, the ball went over his head and their right winger redirected the cross in.

In the 38th, disaster struck for Schalke. Starting at the halfline by the touchline, Osnabrück began working the ball inside and forward. Their huge striker Higl played in their left winger. The defender forced the winger outside and when the winger shot from a really bad angle, the ball hit their keeper, ricocheted off their fullback and then into the net!

I'm sure that manager Dominic Tedesco really laid into his squad at the break. I know I would.

Schalke came out storming the Osnabrück goal. But the defenders held. Schalke tried everything. They play three defenders and the two outside defenders really pushed up high as they sought an equalizer. They kept pummeling away but Osnabrück held and took the points.

And we're in first!

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Ja, welcome to another edition of the Rötliche und Teuflisch podcast. I’m your host Werner and my friend Jakob joins me as always. How are you Jakob.

Jakob: I am good. Quite good. Really good.

Werner: And you have every right to be. We are one-third of the way through the season and we are top of the table.

Jakob: Ja, and nobody predicted it.

W: Our beloved Kaiserslautern was supposed to be fighting valiantly against relegation …

J: But here we are.

W: Ja, but here we are. Take that pundits. We don’t care what you think.

J: The 2.Liga is a bit topsy turvy. Werder Bremen are in the relegation zone. Osbnabrück who got promoted along with us are sixth. Düsseldorf are ninth and Hannover are tenth. Schalke is third, this is unsurprising. So is Nürnberg in second.

W: I’m baffled by Werder.

J: It is baffling. Marc van Bommel has been fired which isn’t surprising.

W: They’ll turn it around, won’t they?

J: Ja, they’ve got the talent and the money.

W: Enough about Werder already. I am done with them, I don’t want to even think about them anymore.

J: What would you prefer to think about?


W: How about our scoring. Four goals in the last five matches.

J: Right. Yet we’ve won three and drawn two. Clearly, our defense is solid.

W: Ja, our defense is good but we have to start scoring more.

J: We have hit the woodwork a remarkable ten times in the last five matches. Four in a single match against Greuther Fürth.

W: Ten?

J: Ja, ten.

W: I know we have hit the woodwork a lot, but ten? Wow.

J: And if you look at our xG for the last five matches, our average xG is 1.48. That’s nearly 1.5. So the statistics show we are creating plenty of chances. Just watching us and you know we’re so close so often. But the last pass doesn’t connect or the cross was a millimeter too high and etc.

W: Here’s a bottom line statistic: Muhammed Kiprit has seven goals.

J: Ja, and he’s even missed a few matches injured. So, ja, Muhammed is playing really well. So is Marlon Ritter and Rene Klingenburg. They are a dominant force in the midfield.

W: Didn’t Pucci call them a dynamic duo?

J: Ja, I believe he did.

W: But Billy Arce. He’s so erratic.

J: That’s true. But he’s young and adapting to German culture. Don’t forget how hard it is to play in a foreign country when you’re young.

W: He’s 24.

J: Okay, fine. I’m just saying its hard.

W: Ja.

J: So far he’s been a good buy but not great. Sorry, a good free transfer as we haven’t bought anyone for money.

W: Maybe someday.

J: While Arce is promising and Kiprit delivers, Saydou Bangura has one goal and one assist.

W: Ja, we rely on Kiprit too much.

J: And our panic transfer deadline buy, loan signing Nikolaj Möller hasn’t been great. Nor has Jacopo Murano.

W: I had such high hopes for him. Mainly because how beautifully his name rolls of one’s tongue.

J: Ja, so we’re the Kiprit-Ritter-Klingenburg show until further notice.

W: We should talk about the defense.

J: Ja, lets.

W: Its good.

J: Ja, true. Tied for least goals with Schalke at nine conceded in twelve. Pucci seems to have settled on Molla Wagué as Boris Tomiak’s partner.

W: Ja, Oliver Hüsing hasn’t inspired confidence, has he.

J: No, he hasn’t. So Wagué isn’t much with the ball but he sure defends well. Hüsing and the other two central defenders … uh … Ibrahima Cissé and Hamza Çetinkaya are probably better on the ball and better passers, but clearly Pucci wants the better defender in there.

W: So we’ve got competition for the left wing back?

J: Ja, Amilcar Silva and Lorenzo Filippini are very different players. Silva is either hot or cold it seems. Filippini seems more reliable and Pucci has been picking him over Silva. The fullback from last season, Neal Gibs doesn’t even make the bench anymore.

W: Why do you think that is?

J: Gibs was good enough for 3.Liga but its clear that Pucci doesn’t rate him.

W: And Zimmer?

J: Ja, our captain is the regular starter, but Robin Becker is getting a decent amount of playing time. Both are solid.

W: And we never talk about Avdo Spahic.

J: Ja, he and Julian Niehues are automatic. Both are ultra reliable, steady. Not really much to say. They do their jobs and do them well.

W: Alright, lets talk about a match yesterday.

J: Alright, its become a regular occurrence, we score then defend the lead. The goal was a bit of bad luck for Holstein Kiel as the defender judged the arc of the ball wrong because of the strong winds. Muhammed assumed he’d miss it and was in alone on goal.

W: Ok, but we were pretty lucky late in the match, weren’t we?

J: Definitely. They created numerous chances and even hit the crossbar. But we held.

W: But we held. That’s really been the story this season, no?

J: You speak the truth.

W: Alright, lets get to questions. I have one from your Mom.

J: Alright. What does my Mom have to say?

W: Okay, jokampner222 on Twitter asks if we’re going to sign a forward to partner with Kiprit.

J: Ja, I would think so. This summer Pucci brought in a busload of trialists for forward. He signed Murano and brought in Möller. I don’t think either are what we’re looking for. The problem we have just right now is we have no money to spend. I guess we wait and see if we have money in the summer. If Pucci gets a striker in January to pair with Kiprit, he’ll be a loan signing.

W: Do you have a question?

J: I do. Um … wait … I have it here somewhere … ja its an email … epucci at 1fck.com asks if we think we’ll get promoted again.

W: You’re kidding, right?

J: Um, no. The top boss himself.

W: So he listens to our podcast? I thought managers didn’t pay attention to media let alone social media.

J: Well, lets just answer his question.

W: Ja.

J: Ja, me too.

W: Well, there you have it. And lets end with the bombshell discovery that the manager listens to our podcast.

J: Or is at least aware that we exist.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Wednesday, 26 October 2022

6:41pm

I'd just finished watching Allie create a food tornado when my phone buzzed. It was Hein Vanhaezebrouck, manager of AA Gent in Belgium.

"Ciao, Enrico," I answered.

"Bonsoir, Enrico. Its Hein."

"How are you?"

"I'm good," he replied in English. "My compliments on your great start to the season."

"Yeah, its going really well," I said. "But I'm guessing you're calling about Ibrahima."

I hadn't played Ibrahima Cissé since his extra time blunder that cost us two points against Darmstadt. Hein had called twice before about him.

"Yes, I'm still concerned he's not getting any minutes."

"Yeah. Like last time we talked, he lost his spot and hasn't won it back. His replacement has made himself an automatic selection. I mean, you know, we're in first. We're not giving up hardly any goals. I can't see this changing."

"So Ibrahima hasn't impressed you?"

"Well, let me be clear. He's a good kid. He's improving but I'll be honest with you that unless Molla Wagué gets hurt, I can't seem him getting many minutes. I've got a title to win."

"I know where you're at. I understand. I just want him gaining experience. I want him getting minutes."

"You'd better recall him then," I said. "I hope there's no hard feelings. He's working on his positioning but my two starters do that really well." His positioning ability is 7.

"Okay, I'll recall him in the January window. I hate to keep pestering you about him, but he needs minutes."

"I understand. Have a good evening, Hein."

"You, too, Enrico."

Click.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

I'd like to welcome you to the Muhammed Kiprit Show. I'm your host with the most, Enrico Pucci. In tonight's episode, Muhammed will play in the rain in front of a two-thirds full Fritz-Walter stadium against the team in purple, Osnabrück. Muhammed won't take them on single-handedly, though he'd probably still manage just fine, he'll have ten of his faithful warriors at his back. Not even rain can hinder this unstoppable goal-scoring machine.

Muhammed remembers these opponents from last season in 3.Liga in which he scored against them in the away match. While his memories were not overfond of tonight's opponents, he cared not for neither rain nor defenders can stop this mighty warrior.

Not even a mis-timed leap by his usually reliable keeper and friend Avdo Spahic, which resulted in an early goal for the purple-clad opponents, bothered him. It merely awakened the animal spirit within him.

In the 38th, his midfield wizard curled a delightful free kick directly onto the laces of his Blessed left boot. As always, when Muhammed struck the fußball with his laces, it invariably ended up in the back of the net.

And his beloved Kaiserslautern were level with the purple-clad opponents.

1-1

Our hero ran over to the edge of the pitch, leapt up upon the advertising board and celebrated his goal with the Westkurv.

Our knight in shimmering red armor was just warming up.

In the 58th minute, a series of passes up the right side of the field, first from Jean Zimmer, second from Billy Arce and the penultimate touch from Rene Klingenburg set our noble conqueror up with only the opponent's goalkeeper to beat.

Now you might think that Muhammed would rely on his trustworthy left foot to thunder a mighty drive past his opponent. But you would be wrong. Our hero fooled the opposing keeper by flicking a quick shot with his right foot past the keeper instead of waiting for the ball to roll across his body so he could strike with his left.

The keeper was fooled! The ball rolled into the net and Muhammed made it look so easy.

2-1

The attendees of the Muhammed Kiprit Show all roared their approval!

At this point you must be thinking, is this all? Has our all-conquering champion not given his team the lead and his fans a fantastic show? Remember this is the Muhammed Kiprit Show in which everyone except the opposing team and opposing fans goes home supremely happy!

There is more!

In the 76th minute, the captain, Jean Zimmer, dribbled the ball down the right side of the pitch. Muhammed and his teammates raced forward in anticipation of cross hammered with great velocity into the danger zone. They were not disappointed.

While you might expect Zimmer to place the ball directly into our noble hero's path, he did not. Instead the first chance fell to Rene Klingenburg. Klingy, as many of his teammates and coaches have fondly nicknamed him, has a very fine scoring touch. Nothing compared to this show's star, but nonetheless a good nose for goal.

Klingy poked the fast-moving cross goalward, but alas, directly into a defender.

You know what happens next. This is the Muhammed Kiprit Show. The ball bounced off the hapless defender and fell directly into our hero's path.

Muhammed scored one of the easiest goals he's ever scored for his hat trick!

3-1

And this ends another episode of the Muhammed Kiprit Show. I hope you enjoyed it. Tune in next week when our hero visits the dragon's lair to wage battle against Schalke.

 

[Sam91]

Kiprit is a joke!!

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Kiprit is a joke!!

Wait, what?

He is?

Are you insulting my star striker, Sam91?

Do I need to send Jörg round to sort you out?

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Saturday, 29 October 2022

Nürnberg kept pace by coming from behind twice to beat Sandhausen. Schalke lost at Karlsruhe.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Monday, 31 October 2022

11:30ish am

"Enrico," Captain Jean Zimmer said to me as I was walking off the pitch.

"What's up?"

"Oliver Hüsing," he said. "I think he's getting frustrated that he's not getting any minutes."

"Thanks for the head's up, Jean," I replied. "I'll have a talk with him."

"Ja, he's not complaining or anything," Jean said. "But you know, I can just tell."

"Right. I get it. Anyone else I should be worried about?"

"Probaby Krahl," Jean said. Julian Krahl is the backup keeper who signed as with stipulations that he'd be an 'important player.'

I made eye contact with Hüsing in Die Kabine and motioned with my head to meet me in my office. He nodded acknowledgement.

"Hey Oliver," I said several minutes later after he'd showered, dressed and walked into my office. "Everything going okay?"

"Ja, its fine."

"I just want to check in because I know you're not getting the playing time you want and I want to make sure everything's good with you."

"Thanks, Enrico," he said. "I am concerned. Ja, who wouldn't be. I was promised playing time when I signed."

"I'll say this," I said. "Its a long season. You're going to get your opportunities. We both know injuries happen, suspensions happen. Mali is going to call up Wagué into their World Cup squad. So I want you to do better. I know we both remember the Holstein Kiel match. You gave up two scoring chances. Your teammates bailed you out on those occasions. I want you to eliminate those mistakes from your game. I know you can. I watch you every day. You're a solid professional and you're an experienced veteran. Reward me with good performances once Wagué is in Qatar. Okay?"

"Ja, I won't let you down, Enrico."

"Great, let's go and get some lunch."

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Tuesday, 1 November 2022

12:10pm

"Hey Enrico," Sören Oliver Voigt said as i walked into his office.

"Sören, how are you?"

"Good, good. Its that time of the month, ja?"

"Ja," I said, chuckling. "Before we dive into the monthly finances, I have one request."

"Of course," Sören said. "A board request, I assume?"

"Ja. More coaches."

"For the first team, correct?"

"Ja."

"I'll see what I can do," he said. The board met on Thursday evening. "You never know."

"Tell them I want to reduce the workload," I said. "Tell them its imperative for our ongoing success."

"I'll let you know," Sören said.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Friday, 4 November 2022

noonish

"Enrico," Julian Krahl said as he caught up with me in the hallway. I was about to go down and get on the bus for the drive to Gelsenkirchen.

"Hey Julian," I said. "What's up?"

"I just want a moment to discuss my playing time," he said.

"Ja, sure," I said. "Let's take the stairs. It'll probably be more private."

I opened the stairwell door.

"I was guaranteed playing time when I signed up," he said as we began descending. "I'm not getting any."

"I understand your frustration," I said. "I do. But we're in first place. I'm not about to mess with my core of Spahic, Tomiak, Wagué, Ritter, Klingenburg and Kiprit. Spahik is playing great. I can't just drop him because we talked in the stairwell. You know that."

"Ja, agreed," he said. "But if you play me I won't let you down."

"I have no doubt about that," I said. "That's why you're at the club. But I know you know where i'm coming from. We're in first place. We have a good chance of getting a second promotion in a row. I can only just urge you to keep your head down and work hard. Like you've been doing. Its a long season. You know the deal. Injuries happen."

"So play me against one of the teams towards the bottom of the table," he said. He stopped walking. So did I.

"I hear you," I said. "Duly noted. You are going to get your chance. Just make sure you make the best of it."

"I will, but I'm not happy that I'm not playing and I'm not happy how you're dealing with this situation," he said.

"Okay," I said. "Well, we'd better go and get on the bus."

 

[Enrico Pucci]

The Veltins-Arena was packed and rocking. Schalke were having a good start to the season after two disappointing ones (the first being relegation from the Bundesliga). Their fans were up for a battle with another former Bundesliga side.

The match got off to a fast start with both teams creating chances but squandering them. Schalke were vulnerable down their flanks as they played a three at the back with wing backs with no wingers and Schalke lobbed long diagonal passes for their forwards to chase.

In the 13th minute, Molla Wagué chased after a clearance. He slowed down, controlled the ball, and then spun only to find that a Schalke forward had closed him down. He didn't hear his teammates yelling at him over the crowd noise.

Their striker nicked the ball off him and raced goalwards. He tried to round Avdo Spahic but my keeper somehow managed to get a hand on his shot and Tomiak cleared it.

Other than Wagué's blunder, we were creating the better opportunities in the early going.

In the 18th minute, Muhammed Kiprit pulled up then tipped over grabbing his hamstring.

"F***!" I groaned.

ATK sprinted out onto the pitch as Jörg got Nikolaj Möller and Jacopo Murano stripping to go on. I sent Murano on.

Both teams passing wasn't the best although I have to admit that both teams were working hard to give the opposition no time to think once they got the ball.

Just before halftime, Billy Arce squandered a lovely cross from Lorenzo Filippini. Bllly was all alone at the back post but headed high.

The second half began as the first ended. We kept trying to work the ball down the wings and create opportunities from out wide.

In the 51st, Filippini hit a long clearance up our left wing. Murano shouldered their right-sided center back off the ball and raced forward. As he was all alone and Saydou Bangura was only jogging forward, he spun back and passed inside to Rene Klingenburg.

Klingy played a give-n-go with Marlon Ritter and was free at the top of the box.

Schalke defenders on either side flung themselves towards Klingy in a desperate attempt to block his shot.

They succeeded but the ricochet fell to Billy who side-footed it in!

0-1

The Roten Teufel on the opposite ended roared their approval as players celebrated near the corner flag.

In the 57th minute, Klingy played a ball into the channel for Bangura to chase. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my Captain, Jean Zimmer crumple to the turf.

After Schalked blocked Bangura's shot, they played it out so Zimmer could get treatment.

ATK signaled for a change within seconds of reaching Jean. I sent Robin Becker on.

In the 61st, Billy had another opportunity from nearly the same spot, 6-7m further out. The Schalke keeper made a great save to deflect the shot out for a corner.

In the 64th, Becker played a ball into the channel for Billy. Yet again, his shot was blocked.

In the 71st, Filippini threw the ball in to Ritter. Ritter was in the left corner and tried to play a pass back to Niehues who was lurking outside the box.

A Schalke midfielder read the pass and intercepted. He passed upfield to one of the strikers who fed it into the channel for their other striker.

The striker's hot barely missed the outside of the near post.

In the 73rd minute, Wagué stepped on their striker's ankle about 35m out on our left. Schalke were begging for a card but the ref was having none of it.

The tall players all jogged forward while one of the center back's lined up their free kick.

He smashed the free kick off the far post and one of their players got their first and rolled the rebound into the net.

1-1

"OFFSIDES! OFFSIDES!' I screamed as I sprinted over to the fourth official. "Several of them were off!"

"Calm down, Enrico, they're reviewing it," the fourth official said.

Jörg jogged over and showed me a freeze frame of the instant the ball was kicked. Filippini had dropped back playing the Schalke players onside.

"Aaaaaggghhh!" I moaned as Jörg and I trudged back towards our dugout.

The ref confirmed the goal moments later and the Schalke crowd celebrated.

In the 80th minute, Filippini played a 40m diagonal ball for Billy. Billy controlled the ball perfectly.

His shot barely missed the far corner.

The Schalke supporters breathed a sigh of relief. The Roten Teufel groaned.

Jacopo Murano had hardly made an impact in the match, so I replace him with Nikolaj Möller.

His replacement nearly scored in the 88th minute.

Becker whipped in a high velocity cross and Möller's redirection hit where the crossbar and post meet.

They cleared the rebound.

There was five minutes of extra time, but that was it for chances.

We could have, should have won this. We sure as h*lll created enough chances.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Saturday, 5 November 2022

8ish pm

"Well don't you look relaxed my Italian-American zen monk," Gwen remarked after we'd been seated at our favorite Italian restaurant in Stuttgart.

"Yeah, I am quite relaxed," I said. "It could all jump off the tracks tomorrow but whatever. I'll deal with that if I have to."

"Is this the new you? The new you that doesn't worry quite so much?"

"Maybe."

"I'm so beyond peckish," she said as she looked over the menu.

"You know maybe that year off and that hike in Sweden did me some good after all," I said. I didn't look at the menu, I knew what I wanted.

I watched Gwen chew her lower lip while she contemplated her options. The waitress bustled over soon after she lowered her menu.

"Hello, how are you two?" Hilda asked.

We exchanged pleasantries then ordered.

"I also think I've calmed down on the sidelines," I said. "I don't think I'm over arguing with the fourth official nearly as much."

"I would agree," Gwen said. "Though you still kick every ball and all that."

"Maybe its me but I actually think the German refs are better. I don't know. I mean, how would you even prove such a thing."

"Lets see what you say next year in the Bundesliga," she said.

"Oh? So we're going to get promoted?"

"I have the utmost confidence, my little Italian-American miracle worker."

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Saturday, 12 November 2022

The Portugese side Benfica visited us all the way from Lisbon. They had shockingly few players off with the national team who were warming up for the World Cup in Qatar.

So Julian Krahl, Oliver Hüsing, Robin Becker, Jacopo Murano and Nikolaj Möller all got some minutes as well as a few kids.

Hüsing poked home in a melee inside the 5m box after they failed to clear a corner.

The Fritz-Walter was two-thirds full so that is good for our accounts. Not much else to report.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Jörg got me, Ilhan Yavuz, and Leo Ackermann warming up not long after the second half started.

"Alf," Günther shouted, pointing at me just to make sure. "Go." He pointed towards the halfway line. I looked at the clock.

61:03

I jogged over. Both Jörg and Enrico were waiting for me. I stripped off the training top and put on my shirt while the fourth official put up Klingenburg's number.

"Just relax and have fun out there, Alf," Enrico said. "Move the ball quickly."

"F*** some s*** up," Jörg added.

Klingenburg gave me a high five as we traded places.

63:28

My first touch came a few minutes later. We were breaking upfield and Murano had dropped deep for the ball. He passed to me. My first touch was good.

Then I tried to play a pass for Bangura to run onto.

S***. A Benfica defender intercepted. Where did he come from?

They broke towards our goal. Two passes later and Krahl made a fingertip save all because of my bad pass.

79:52

They had a corner. I'd been marking this one Benfica midfielder because he was my height. On the previous two corners, he'd shoved me just as the corner came in. This time I stepped on his toe and shoved two fingers between his ribs just like Lorenzo had shown me. I heard him grunt in pain as I jumped off his toe.

I closed my eyes as I hit my header clearance high and out.

A minute or two later and Hamza played a pass straight up the middle to me. I glanced over my shoulder as the ball was rolling to see if I could turn. I could.

I played a pass up to Bangura. I hit it hard so nobody could intercept it.

He had three defenders immediately on him so he passed all the way back to Hüsing.

Hüsing hit a hard pass right at me. I snuck a peek as the ball was on its way and Bangura was making a run up the channel.

I controlled the ball on the turn and fired a pass into the channel.

Bangura was in!

And he shot right at the keeper.

I only had four more touches. One was a clearance and one was the last kick of the match. I mainly ran back and forth across the top of our penalty box.