Alpha Romeo Metaphor IV

[Enrico Pucci]

"A pretty good thrashing out there, ja, Enrico?"

"The scoreline was not very flattering. We created a number of good chances in the first half. But we just aren't putting our chances in the back of the net. Imagine if we put two of those chances away? I back my squad to hold a lead. Its infuriating and baffling, but that's Fußball. That first goal was a fluke, but ... you know ... crazy mistakes like that happen. The question it posed is how will you respond and, clearly, we didn't."

"That's five without a win, thoughts?"

"We are going to keep fighting for a win. We face bottom side Union Berlin next week. We need to pull ourselves together, focus, and beat them."

"Supporters wanted Julian Niehues taken off today. Why did you leave him on when he was clearly not performing?"

"There were a number of players playing below standards today. I cannot make six subs. I would have if I could. It ... uh ... next question?"

"Silvere Ganvoula was brilliant today wasn't he?"

"I know you guys are going to make fun of me for this, but we made it far too easy for him today. Now I'm not saying he's not quality. What I'm saying is the second half was a ... um ... it was bad. Krahl made a mistake and we fell apart. Those other two goals, those are the goals that really make me furious."

"Why?"

"The lack of compete. Everyone looked for everyone else to bail them out of not working ... for not doing their jobs. Front to back those goals were disastrous and involved far too many mistakes."

"So back to the drawing board?"

"No," I replied. "We just need to execute our game plan. When every player does their part, we are competitive."

"So you talked about level of compete. How culpable was Amilcar Silva on those last two goals? He was basically jogging back, letting his man get two assists."

"Ja ... um ... well ... was that really a question?" I said. "It seems to me that you pretty much just need me to affirm your statement."

"Do you think you can finally break your bad run against bottom side Union Berlin?"

"Ja. We'd better, right? Thanks for your time. I'm going to go and yell at my players."

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Werner: Well here we are, another Rötliche and Teuflisch podcast. Another disappointing loss, this time to Köln. I'm your host Werner and I'm joined by my friend Jakob.

Jakob: Ja, that was a sad loss. Three nothing.

Werner: Ja, really sad. And I tried to drown my sorrows last night.

Jakob: Ja, me as well. And now I have a Kölnish hangover. I mean, I think the effects of the beer and the two pregame brandies I had were wearing off on the train ride home. There's nothing like slight nausea on the train home mixed with smothering depression.

W: Nothing like a good spanking and then the beer wears off and your *** hurts. Before I forget, like and subscribe. Because we need your support to discuss really depressing and ... um ... oh my God where are we going with this.

J: Its a really depressing result especially since we were in the match for a while there.

W: Well, I've brewed an especially strong pot of coffee and I'm trying a new flavor.

J: Oh?

W: Ja. Guess what flavor.

J: Um ... Peruvian Bleakness, gloomy blend?

W: Oh, that's a good guess. No, Despair. Extra Dark.

J: Is it helping with your hangover?

W: No, I wouldn't say its helping. Accentuating more than anything. Alright, we lost. It was a terrible result. Lets get out the scalpels and cut. Lets discuss the first goal.

J: No anesthesia? Alright, fine. Krahl filled his pants, no other way to look at it.

W: Good thing that Avdo Spahic is just about healthy now, right?

J: Ja, I can't see Krahl featuring again. I mean, he wasn't too bad. He deputized well, but he's not the number one keeper. And we'd already have Spahic back if he hadn't hurt himself.

W: Okay, hurt himself trying to get fit from his broken ankle. Anyways, wiedersehn Krahl. Spahic has been really reliable and rarely get hurt. You know who I also never want to see play again?

J: Tell me.

W: Amilcar Silva.

J: Ja, what a performance. Pucci noted it in the post match press availability. I think he's gone in the summer.

W: He didn't even sprint back when his man beat him. He just f***ing jogged. I've watched the replays far too many times. Pucci talked about lack of compete, but Silva was appalling. Nowhere near his man, no attempt to get himself in the right position then just having a nice Saturday afternoon jog back. Look, our opponents know they can beat us down the flanks.

J: Ja, and I can't imagine that Pucci and Jörg Weber and Lorenzo D'Anna haven't been talking to him about his positioning. At some point Pucci will realize that he's not up to it and goes out and gets a new left back.

W: Can we talk about another thing that's eating me?

J: You are on a roll, that's some strong coffee you have there this morning.

W: Ja, I am. Our finishing. We could have been up by three at the start of the match. Longstaff, Omar, Billy, who else had chances? Oh my God. Kiprit is a shadow of himself. I guess it turns out he's not a Bundesliga striker after all. He was so so good in 2.Liga but he just can't translate that into the Bundesliga. And Lorenzo Campana had a nice start and maybe Kiprit's inability to score is contagious. I don't know. Wait, didn't Ritter have a glorious chance? What the f***? Suddenly, we can't score?

J: I don't remember if Ritter had a chance after we brought him on. But the game was gone by then.

W: We are in ninth place. We're safe from relegation, our chances of Europe are gone if you ask me. What are your thoughts, overall?

J: What are my thoughts? Well ... lets take a step back. We've got a good keeper in Spahic. Our central defender pairing of Tomiak and Mejias are solid. Ritter needs a midfield partner. Oliver Batista-Meier appears to be a good understudy to Ritter who turns 30 soon. Shakur Omar is awesome and I'm not sure we'll be able to keep him. I would think Atalanta will want him back. I'm sure the club will try and buy him. They'd be fools not to. But there are big holes in this squad. We need wing backs, we need a partner for Ritter, we need a dangerous winger, and we need forwards.

W: Do you think Matej Mach is our future left back?

J: He hasn't damaged his chances. He's only 17. I think he's been developing nicely.

W: Wait, you know who we haven't discussed? Julian Niehues.

J: Wow. Ja, he's been a permanent fixture in the squad. I think Pucci is happy with him. He's only 22. I mean I see no reasons why Pucci would be unhappy with him. He covers a tremendous amount of ground, is great positionally, gives the ball to Ritter. Also keep in mind that he's ... uh ... his salary is really low.

W: Alright, I think the coffee is kicking in. Let's get to questions. I have one from your Mom. Berndbernd on Twitter asks if we have any prospects coming through from the youth ranks.

J: Ooh, good question, Mom. Um, Ilhan Yavuz has been on the bench and gotten minutes here and there. He's a creative midfielder with some promise. Alfred Alten is another midfielder between sitting on the bench for the first team and playing in the U19s. Erick Araujo is a young defender who has looked quite dominant in the U19s. Mario Bornschein is another young midfielder with absolutely sick first touch. He just needs to get taller and stronger ... uh ... he's only 16. Also, youth intake day is this coming week. I'll go to check them out.

W: Huh, interesting. That's good to know. Do you have a question?

J: Ja, Instagram user messaged me. Um, Gerd Machler asks if I know who we're buying or signing this summer. I do. We have signed Aaron Connolly on a free transfer. He'll join in the summer from Brighton Hove-Albion in England. He's a 24 year old Irishman. Fast, strong, hard-working. Another young player who has never really gotten his chance. I imagine that we'll make an offer to sign Shakur Omar permanently. As we've already mentioned, we need fullbacks, another midfielder, a winger, and probably another forward. Maybe another central defender, probably on a free or for really cheap.

W: Well, there we go. There is hope, we'll still be in the Bundesliga next season. Maybe we can really push for a European spot with a deeper squad. Anything else?

J: No, not really.

W: Well, then go away now.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Monday, 11 March 2024

9am

"I'm delaying the start of training this morning because I want to talk," I said. I'd spread the word that I wanted a team meeting in Die Kabine prior to training. "We're on another bad run. Our second winless streak. I want to make sure that your heads don't drop. I have confidence in this squad that we have the talent and determination to get ourselves out of this. We have a prime opportunity this next Saturday when we host Union Berlin. As you all know, they are dead last. They haven't won on the road and only have one draw away. But we need to pull ourselves together, train well this week, and deliver a victory this Saturday. I believe we can turn this around and start getting good results again."

"Enrico is absolutely right," Boris Tomiak said. "We've got to do better and I know we're capable of it."

Everyone was nodding their heads in agreement.

"Anyone else want to say something?" I asked.

Boris looked around then stood up. We all went out to start training.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Saturday, 16 March 16 2024

10am

The drive up the hill to the Fritz-Walter is so cool. Its so big. It seems so much bigger today. Mom is quiet and Dad is humming to the music. He's nervous, too. We are all excited.

I show my badge I received in the mail at the security booth and we're into the club car park. A bunch of us and our parents are all gathered under the stadium where they park the black FCK bus. Dieter Eilts and Enrico Pucci stand before us in front of the elevators up into the stadium.

"Good morning," Dieter says. "I think everyone is here. I'd like to welcome all of you into the 1.FC Kaiserslautern family. Today is a big day and I'd like to outline what is going to happen. First, a tour of the stadium. Second, a light training session. Third, lunch with everyone including parents. Fourth, a meeting to discuss the club and address any questions. Finally, the first team match against Union Berlin. We'll distribute tickets for all of you later. I'll turn it over to our Head Coach, Enrico Pucci."

"Thanks, Dieter and welcome," he said. "I remember my first day at Bologna in Italy. I was so nervous I thought I was going to die. Scared, excited, too. Today is a big day for you and your families. You all have before you the chance to play professional Fußball. Here at Kaiserslautern we hope to give you your Gymnasium education as well as your Fußball education. While we hope to find the next generation of players for Die Mannschaft and we hope to find Bundesliga-level players to fill our first team, we want to prepare you to face your life ahead. We hope to give you the skills and mentality to make it as a pro. The rest is up to you."

"I got my chance in the midfield because everybody was hurt or suspended. Bologna had no alternative but to give their American teenager a shot in the first team. I grabbed hold of that opportunity and pushed aside some established pros to make it mine. Everything here is centered around hard work. We have worked hard to build a coaching staff who know what it takes to play professional football at the highest level. The bottom line is we will present you with the skills to live. Americans have this term called "adulting." We will teach you adulting ... how to budget, rudimentary cooking, saving for your future, drugs and alcohol education, injury prevention and rehab. Whether or not you end up on the first team for this club, we want to prepare you for your life ahead regardless of whether or not you pursue Fußball as your career. I look forward to meeting you all today. Again, welcome."

We wait our turn to ride the elevator up into the stadium.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Saturday, 16 March 2024

11ish am

"F***, that Stavrous kid is the s***," Jörg remarked as we watched the youth trialists play a rotating 5x5 match. There were three teams of five.

"Ja, he does seem to be a complete player," I said. "Impressive. Hey, where's Thomas?"

Jörg pointed a large, sausage-sized finger. I walked over.

"Sign the Stavrous kid," I said. "He'll never win many headers, but aside from that he looks the complete package."

"Mmmm ... Stavrous ... Giannis," Thomas murmured. "Hmmm ... ja. He does look good, doesn't he. Okay, I'll do that right away. What about the Routledge boy?"

"Ja, he's got a Bundesliga work ethic, doesn't he?" I remarked.

"A bit short for a central defender?" Thomas said.

"Ja, unless he grows taller, I could see him as a defensive midfielder," I said.

"I want to sign him right away," Thomas said.

"Ja, definitey," I said. "Sign him up."

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Julian Niehues and Josua Mejias both picked up injuries during the week. Julian's hamstring is tight but he's healed enough according to ATK to make the bench. Josua has an abdominal strain so Oliver Hüsing replaces him. Matty Longstaff replaces Julian at defensive midfield. Matej Mach replaces Amilcar Silva because f***ing A I'm sick of Silva's defensive lapses. And, thank the footballing gods, Avdo Spahic is back.

The stadium isn't all that full because Union Berlin and maybe because we're on a losing streak. Don't know. But the trialists and their families are here in the stands.

We get off to a terrible start. I attribute it to the hangover from last week's second half. Also, we are terrible against teams who play a 442. And Union Berlin plays a 442.

Berlin attempts to exploit our weakness down the flanks. Boris Tomiak and Oliver Hüsing are busy clearing crosses. When we do break forward, everyone is misplacing their passes.

They get their deserved breakthrough in the 20th minute.

Spahic plays a ball short to Tomiak. With Jean Zimmer, Matty Longstaff and Hüsing available as options he just hoofs it forward. Their defender controls the ball and hoofs it back towards Hüsing's forward.

Hüsing misjudges the flight of the ball and its over his head. Their striker has all day to control the pass, line up his shot and rifle it past Spahic.

0-1

I just stand there, hands in my pockets.

We finally create our first chance of the game in the 26th minute. Shakur Omar's header from a Zimmer cross hits the post and they clear it.

In the 33rd, Tomiak has his header from a Ritter free kick tipped over the bar by their keeper. From the resulting corner, Tomiak is free at the far post and smashes his header against the crossbar.

F***ing A. Are we ever going to score again?

That is pretty much it for the first half. I tell the players I'm disappointed in their passing and finishing. I remind the players that Union Berlin are last for a reason and we're making them look like Manchester City.

We're still not playing well and need a great save from Spahic to prevent us from going down by two in the 51st minute.

Matej Mach interrupts a Union move down his flank in the 54th minute. He hoofs the ball up the line and Muhammed gets there first and plays the ball further forward down the left for Omar. Shakur whips in a back post cross and Billy Arce volleys past their keeper!

1-1

Thats' f***ing better.

Except from the kickoff, their right back is racing down our left flank. Mach has gone inside. When they play the pass into space for their right back to chase, Omar decides he needs to slide tackle instead of outsprint their fullback. He'd win if he did but, alas, he misses the slide tackle and their right fullback is in on goal.

I nearly s*** my pants as the shot trickles wide of the far post. We're just lucky that are opponents are terrible.

"WAKE UP!" I bellow as I tap my right temple. "WAKE UP! COME ON! WAKE UP!"

Tomiak, Hüsing, Ritter and Mach all indicate they hear me.

I remove Muhammed Kiprit in the 60th minute as he's been rubbish aside from the one pass upfield to Omar. On goes Lorenzo Campana.

But we can't create any chances. Its going to end up a boring 1-1 draw.

Their keeper tips a Ritter shot over the bar in the 86th. No, wait. The ref awards a goal kick. I swear their keeper touched that.

We roll into extra time. There will be four minutes of it. This just sucks. I can see supporters starting to leave the stadium. I can't blame them. We've been s*** today.

In the 92nd, their keeper is dawdling over an offside free kick. He eventually takes it and substitute Neco Williams outjumps their left midfielder and heads the ball inside to Campana. Campana spins and sees Omar start his run. He slides an angled pass between their central defenders for Shakur to race onto.

I hold my breath. I think the whole stadium does, too.

Its set up for a left-footed shot. He's right-footed.

He shoots near post.

The keeper tips it but ... it doesn't matter! Its in the net!

I'm swept away by a tidal wave of players and coaches off the bench!

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Tuesday, 19 March 2024

8pm

"Well, I'm glad you are all here," I said as U19 Assistant Coach Joe Dunne blew the whistle to start the match. "Cuz otherwise I'd send them all back home."

"F***ing murderous villain," Jörg said.

"You've only told your story a million times," Ulf Kirsten said. "How close were you to the cut?"

"Never really thought about it," I said. "I got a trial. It was July after I'd dropped out off the University before they expelled me for s*** grades. They offered a youth contract after one training session. I guess I impressed."

"Sometimes a kid just explodes, if you know what I mean," Head of Youth Development Dieter Eilts said. "Its not every season, but they are teenagers. They could have a s*** match today."

"Yeah, but take the kid playing right wing ... err ... uh ..." Thomas Hengen said.

"Kaloglu," Jörg suggested.

"Uh, yeah, Kaloglu," Thomas continued. "Clearly, he's fast. Sure he's a 16 year old kid. Two years in the weight room and he'll be a lot faster. Two years of training and he might develop some technique. Oh, s***."

Kaloglu just dribbled out of bounds.

"You were saying?" I teased.

The trialists won the ball back and launched a long ball over the top of the U19 defense. The assistant ref on that side, U19 Coach John Yems, waved his flag for offsides, Dunne whistled the play dead.

"Yer f***ing blind linesman!" I yelled at Yems in English. "Get some f***ing glasses!"

Yems spun and gave me the two-fingered English salute. Dunne ran over and enthusiastically carded me.

In the end, several of the kids did alright. We'll be signing about half of them.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

We were never really in this one. The noise in Signal Iduna Park was deafening. We started off poorly, never woke up and were toast by the time the ref awarded a penalty in the 22nd minute.

I'd tried an experiment. I played two deep-lying midfielders with Marlon Ritter marking Jude Bellingham. The result was Bellingham gave a man-of-the-match performance.

I'd tried this variation in my formation because opponents were lining up in 442 formations and blocking our fullbacks from carrying/passing the ball upfield. I was hoping with Matty Longstaff's ball skills and passing, we'd be able progress the ball better with him deeper.

Oops.

We got our first shot in the 41st minute; a weak roller right at their keeper.

There were two positives from this match. First is Shakur Omar slid a nice angled pass between the central defenders and Harry Chapman smashed his chance past the BVB keeper. Second is that Avdo Spahic is back and was the only reason we weren't destroyed.

That made it 2-1.

Dortmund promptly scored a third to put the game beyond any doubt.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Sunday, 24 March 2024

Today is the first day of the interlull. Traditionally, we take the kids out somewhere for the day. Today we decided upon the Frankfurt Zoo after getting breakfast.

Gwen spotted the paparazzi first just as we were getting out of the car to go into a restaurant for breakfast.

So she grabbed our matching gigantic hats out of the trunk and I can't imagine that they were pleased with us. You've got to remember that when Gwen goes out she's usually in huge, shapeless dresses. With the hat and the shapeless dress, it could be anyone underneath it.

"You guys hungry?" I yelled as we walked towards the restaurant. "Want anything?"

They didn't reply, just kept wasting digital pixels on us.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Saturday, 30 March 2024

We drove over to Maastricht on Friday after training ended. Gwen wanted to get out of town and picked our location. We found one of those crazy fields of tulips not far outside of the city. Its a mind-boggling amount of tulips in these fields. Its so pretty that even I can take a good photo here. Both the town and the field we found.

Apparently, tulips are a big deal in Holland.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Tuesday, 2 April 2024

8:59am

"Check this out!" Technical Director Thomas Hengen said as he walked out onto the training pitch as we were about to get started. "Matej Mach made the list of 50 Wonder Kids! He's number sixteen!"

Everyone gathered around Thomas. He let everyone have a look. Matej looked rather blown away by this news.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Thursday, 4 April 2024

1pm

"Lets get started," Thomas Hengen said.

"Your second Eintracht Frankfurt derby, what are your thoughts," Niklas Ball of Kicker asked.

"Ja, very excited," I replied. "The players seem up for it. I'm sure the supporters will be. The Westkurv will be as loud as ever."

"What about the match itself?" Niklas followed up.

"I'm expecting a hard fought game as always," I said.

"Six games left and Frankfurt are in tenth with 38 points," Florian Carre of OneFootball said. "They haven't dramatically improved since Dominico Tedesco arrived. They were in eleventh when he took the helm. You were rumored to be one of the top choices. Would you have done better?"

"Wow, Florian, that's loaded question. I had my chance at managing Eintracht. I didn't deliver. I think it was you lot in the media who drove the narrative that I was destined to return."

"What do you think about their league position?" Florian followed up.

"I'm sure the board and supporters aren't happy. They're a great ... um ... I think I'm going to leave it at that."

"Do you think Eintracht could leave with all the points?" Florian asked.

"If we play as I know we can, no, they'll leave disappointed."

"Does it mean more to beat a rival?" Florian asked.

"Ja. I love the intensity of local rivalries. Its important for our fans. You know ... at the water cooler, factory flloor, office hallways ... wherever ... amongst circles of friends ... its important to have won games like these."

"You seem to be handling the pressure of this derby as you always do, Enrico," Dennis Friedel of Sportbuzzer said. "How do you think Tedesco is handling it?"

"Fine. We're both pros. He's very capable. He wouldn't be where he is if he wasn't able to handle this."

"What about preparing your squad for the derby?" Florian asked. "Any comments?"

"Josua Mejias bruised his ankle yesterday. He's out. Oliver Hüsing will replace him. We've had a good week of training. Everybody wants to bounce back from that Dortmund match. And what an opportunity with a derby."

"Harry Chapman finally scored for the club, will he feature tomorrow?" Jakob Böttcher of the Kaiserslautern Express asked.

"Ja, we've been working on him partnering Shakur Omar up top. With Muhammed Kiprit and Lorenzo Campana out of form, I need to explore alternatives. We see how he does tomorrow."

"In the derby," Jakob noted.

"Ja, in the derby."

"Do you have an advantage because so few players were away on international duty?" Florian asked.

"Ja, for sure. For the most part, the squad has had two weeks to train for the derby."

"You've got the poorest defense in the Bundesliga, why can't you keep the goals out?" Niklas asked.

"Ja, thanks once again for reminding me, Niklas. Once again, I will remind you that this club was in 3.Liga two years ago. We are adapting as best we can. I cannot sign top-quality defenders, I am constrained by the budgets set by my board. We have to keep this club financially sustainable. So I've had to get this club into the Bundesliga on the cheap. Despite this squad's shortcomings we are guaranteed to still be in this division next season. No club has ever gone down with 38 points. I look at it more in terms of when we lose, we tend to get thrashed. Would I like to be better defensively? Of course."

There was that moment of silence that signaled the presser was about to end. Then the four journalists looked at each other and shrugged. This was the unofficial signal it was over.

"Well, that just about wraps it up then?" Thomas Hengen said. This officially signaled the end of the presser.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

The Fritz-Walter is packed, the Westkurv is rocking. I mean that literally. We can feel and hear the stadium vibrating as the entire Westkurv bounced.

In the 11th minute, we had a throw deep in the Eintracht end by the left corner flag. Amilcar threw it in to Julian Niehues who tapped it back to him. Silva feinted then stepped and whipped in a far post cross.

Billy Arce met the cross but his header wasn't very strong. Luckily for us Oliver Batista-Meier intervened and smashed the ball past the Eintracht keeper!

FCK 1-0 SGE

Not long after the restart, Boris Tomiak was dribbling upfield. Eintracht midfielder Djibril Sow raced over and dove in with a tackle. He took out Tomiak's planted foot; Boris tumbled to the pitch screaming.

An Eintracht teammate picked up the loose ball and raced goalwards

No foul!

"FOUL! FOUL! FOUL!" I bellowed as I ran over to the fourth official. "He took out his ankle."

Jean Zimmer fouled the Eintracht player with the ball ending play.

"It wasn't a foul," he said. I could barely hear him over the booing and whistling.

"Then why is my star defender laying on the ground injured," I asked as ATK ran onto the pitch. "Sow clearly got him, studs up, on the ankle. Clearly a yellow, possible red card infraction. My assistant can show you the replay."

The assistant muttered into his mic. Then listened.

"Markus says that he saw it and Sow got the ball," the fourth official said.

"Look at the replay, he clearly didn't. It was right in front of us. He got all ankle, studs up."

"You're going to need to calm down, Enrico," the fourth official said.

Two pairs of hands grabbed me and dragged me back towards the dugout. Jörg pointed at Molla Wagué and he got up and stripped off his tracksuit.

Molla replaced Boris.

We took the game to Eintracht.

In the 35th minute, Hüsing got caught ball-watching and Avdo Spahic blocked the shot, preserving our lead.

That was it for the first half.

We got the ideal start to the second half. Eintracht had cleared the ball into our half. Julian Niehues retrieved it and passed forward and inside to Marlon Ritter. Ritter had no pressure and lasered in a pass for Shakur Omar who was making a diagonal run at the defense.

Shakur raced between the central defenders, froze the keeper with a feint, sidestepped and passed the ball into the net.

FCK 2-0 SGE

The Westkurv were still celebrating when Ritter whipped in a free kick. Hüsing met it at the far post with a high-class volley of the top order. It nearly ripped the side netting!

FCK 3-0 SGE

We toyed with them a bit, had some long passing exchanges, but that was pretty much it. We were up to 7th.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Yeah, right. Somehow he hurt himself. D*mn refs.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Saturday, 6 April 2024

Big day in the Bundesliga. Freiburg drew but go above us on goal difference. Bayer Leverkusen win to pull level with us but we're above them on goal difference. Schalke do us a favor by beating Leipzig and they pull to within 2 points of us. Wolfsburg win to pull a point behind us. The end of the season run in is going to be exciting at least in terms of who gets to play in Europe next season. Because, yawn, Bayern beat Köln to wrap up the title with 5 left to play.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Sunday, 7 April 2024

This brings me to the mathematical side of the final five matches of the season. Who has the best odds of playing in Europe next season. I've removed Köln from consideration -- they are in 5th on 45 points and only a utter collapse will keep them out of Europe.

Any points ties favor Leipzig and Freiburg as the rest of us have poor goal differential. Here's a little table of comparing everyone's run-ins (the right hand column is the league position of the opponent):

Eintracht Frankfurt have the toughest as they have to play Bayern, Gladbach and Freiburg. They also have the fewest points at 38 so they have the worst odds.

Leipzig have the next toughest schedule as they face us, Gladbach and Bayern. Leipzig have also lost their last two Bundesliga matches, face Manchester United in the Champion's League Quarter Final. ManU are the bread for a Kaiserslautern sandwich. They also face Wolfsburg in the DFB Pokal Semi-Final. They might be a little distracted when they face us next weekend.

Wolfsburg have the next toughest schedule. Hertha are 4th, Bayer, Schalke and us are all in the European race.

Schalke are the dark horse. Their next two matches are easier but face face Wolfsburg, Bayer and Hertha to end it. Also, they're 2 points behind.

Freiburg probably have the easiest run in. First they have 3 home games. Secondly, their tough matches against Köln and BVB are at home. The only thing to note is that they have 1 win in their last 7. If they continue to suck, it opens the door to Europe for the rest of us.

Finally, there is 1.FC Kaiserslautern. I don't like our chances. The main problem is we only have 2 home games left and we SUCK away from the friendly confines of the Fritz-Walter. We are punching far far above our weight so maybe just maybe we beat a distracted Leipzig, beat struggling Nürnberg and Stuttgart. IF we do that, it makes the final two matches meaningful.

Regardless, its going to be a fun final five rounds in the Bundesliga.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Tuesday, 9 April 2024

Billy Arce and Marlon Ritter made the Bundesliga Team-Of-The-Week.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Friday, 11 April 2024

Bayer beat Wolfsburg in the first of the many European Race clashes.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

We drove the bus out east to Leipzig. Agnieszka said that Boris Tomiak was fit enough to play 75 minutes, but he didn't look it yesterday in training so I made the decision that he'd be on the bench. Josua Mejias hadn't been in great form so I rewarded Molla Wagué with the start after his solid performance against Eintracht.

The weather was wet and kind of cold. Actually, its kind of ideal. Should be set up for a slick passing match.

Leipzig pinned us in our end and attempted to smother us with passing.

We managed to survive, but barely.

Avdo Spahic made few stunning saves to keep us in the game.

In one of our few forays upfield, Matej Mach launched a high lob out to the right flank for Captain Jean Zimmer. Zim controlled it and tapped a pass inside to Billy Arce who back-heeled to Matty Longstaff. Matty played it further infield to Oliver Batista-Meier.

Oliver first-timed a shot.

It curled past the keeper's dive and nicked the inside of the post!

I looked up at the clock: 36:13

We sat back and absorbed their pressure. Another great save by Spahic and we made it to half time leading!

"Keep it up, keep it up!" I said once we were back inside the away team room. "Keep working hard, you can do this! You know what is at stake!"

Leipzig started the second as they ended the first, pressing for an equalizer.

I thought they had it in the 57th minute. They had a corner and whipped it in to the second post. Their central defender Mohamed Simakan thundered a header off where the crossbar and post meet. It ricocheted off midfielder Ilaix Moriba and into our net.

The stadium exploded in celebration as the players ran off to the corner flag.

But wait ...

The assistant referee on the far side had her flag up. The ref slow-jogged towards our goal; he had his hand to his ear listening.

He signaled no goal, offsides.

I looked skywards, up into the rain, and gave thanks to the footballing gods for saving us.

Jörg shoved his iPad in front of me. Spahic was just ahead of Moriba, playing him offsides.

Leipzig huffed and Leipzig puffed, but they couldn't knock our defense down and find an equalizer.

Köln lost at home to Hoffenheim, Freiburg beat Mainz, and Frankfurt beat Bochum. We were up to 7th!

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Sunday, 14 April 2024

12:03am

I pulled into the garage and heaved a sigh. Its a long drive back from Leipzig but its always better when you win. The players had decided they'd rather be back late than stay in a hotel.

I groaned and heaved myself upright out of my Audi S7.

Gwen met me at the door with a big hug and kiss.

"Welcome home my Italian-American sweetheart and husband," she said. "How was the ride home?"

"Fun," I replied. "Its always better when you win. Especially since we've been getting our @$$es kicked away lately."

"You peckish?" she asked.

"No, we got take-away. It wasn't bad for bus food. How were the kids?"

"You'll find this shocking, but both kids watched the whole match."

"What? Really?" I said.

"Yeah, I know. Matthew sat on the edge of the couch or paced. Allison kept pointing and shouting whenever you came on camera."

"How was my performance?"

"Dynamic," Gwen replied. "You kicked every ball. I can see why you're tired. You never stopped moving."

"Too funny, too funny. I could use a drink, though."

"Well, the bar is open," she said. "What'll you have?"