Alpha Romeo Metaphor IV

[Sam91]

Some frustrating results so far

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Ja, welcome to another edition of the Rötliche und Teuflisch podcast. This is episode 8.46. Coming live at you from my bedroom. I've got a desk, a comfortable chair and a view of a nice tree out my bedroom window. By the way, I'm Werner. Joining me is ...

Jakob: I'm not in your bedroom with you though.

Werner: ... right ... Jakob joins me from ... where are you?

Jakob: I'm in my office. Looking at the wall.

W: Jakob comes to you from the other side of Kaiserslautern. Like and subscribe, please. I don't know about you, but I need a nice view, I need something after yesterday's performance.

J: Ja, it was not so good. Yet very lucky at the same time.

W: Ja, that goal by Osayamen Osawe was quite lucky. He just smashed it goalwards from a bad angle and right between the keeper's legs.

J: The keeper really should have had it. He's got to be disappointed to not stop a shot from that angle.

W: And honestly, Magdeburg outplayed us. Their stadium was pretty full, their fans were loud.

J: And right on top of the field. Very close. I really like the MDCC-Arena. Its new, the bathrooms are clean, the beer is good.

W: Ja and we needed the beer.

J: It wasn't a very exciting match, was it. Luckily, they'd shoved the away fans into the southwest corner where we were in the shade. I felt sorry for the fans in the sun.

W: Ja, it was really hot and humid. No breeze, no nothing. But lets talk about our defense.

J: We should. We were fine, looked organized, worked hard ...

W: Except ...

J: ... except for that one moment. Hempel just let his man past him. Nobody tracked their midfielder making a late run. Surprise! You've been scored on!

W: There were other times.

J: Mainly on corners, but, yes, we fell asleep on a couple of other occasions and got away with it.

W: Magdeburg can't be too pleased with their finishing.

J: Yes, their xG was better than ours. Double ours in fact. They are a hard-working team and probably deserved better.

W: I'll take it. I know you will, too.

J: I want to bring up something.

W: Okay.

J: We got a lucky goal today. In the previous two matches, we got late goals to salvage a draw and then to win. But the next three matches are against the top teams in 3.Liga. Mannheim are second and they are next, Verl is first and Osnabrück is third.

W: Ja, the season is about to get real for Enrico Pucci and his squad.

J: And we haven't been playing all that well.

W: So this is it? These are Pucci's judgment games?

J: That's one way to put it. If we're going to make a promotion push, no would be a good time to put together some wins.

W: Yes, we have it all to play for. With that, I think we're done.

J: So go away now.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Some frustrating results so far

Yeah. You know how it goes. Still trying to find the right formation and settings for the players I can afford.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Tuesday, 7 September 2021

3ish pm

"Gramma an Grampa!" Matthew shouted.

Footsteps thundered across the floor. He flung the door open and raced outside.

He was bouncing up and down outside the taxi waiting for them to get out by the time I got to the front door.

"Vic, how are you?" I said as I shook his gnarled, rock-hard hand. He held Matthew in his other arm.

"Yeah, good. Good flight. No complaints."

"Mother," Gwen said as she and her mother hugged.

After all the hugging and kissing, the taxi driver and I carried Marilyn's bags into the house.

Vic had both kids in his arms. Matthew was explaining some minutiae about Spiderman and Allison was playing with his shirt collar.

"So two straight losses in the league, eh?" I said.

"Yeah, two away losses against top sides," Vic said. "Sunderland and Ipswich are favorites to go up so i hadn't gotten my hopes up. We have some winnable matches coming up. Its early. I'm looking forward to watching Kaiserslautern. Big match this weekend, right?"

"Yeah, the derby against our neighbors Mannheim."

"I do love your house," Vic said as he surveyed the living room, dining room, and kitchen. He'd studied architecture but decided to fix cars for a living. "Its that modern, clean German look. So airy, so bright."

"Can I get you a drink or anytihng?" I asked.

"I would love a glass of wine, " Marilyn said.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

The Westkurv was packed and the rest of the Fritz-Walter looked pretty full. Nothing like a derby to get butts into seats.

Kenny Redondo was still out so Hendrick Zuck fills in the long winger role. Mannheim were solid defensively so instead of trying to work the ball into the box, we had worked all week on hitting early crosses.

We nearly immediately won a corner. Boris Tomiak smashed a first post header off the bar and Muhammed Kiprit bounced the rebound off the second post. The crowd groaned then roared their approval.

In the 9th minute, Avdo Spahic punched a cross straight to a Mannheim midfielder who fed a pass straight back into our box to a wide open striker. Thankfully, he blazed his shot high. The crowd exhaled in relief.

Then both teams settled down and worked hard to stifle each other.

In the 33rd minute, Neal Gibs lobbed a pass into the right corner for Osayamen Osawe to chase. Osawe looked up, saw Muhammed Kiprit charging forward and slid a pass toward the penalty spot. Kiprit didn't hit it hard. Ulf Kirsten was finally having an influence. Kiprit's shot was precisely placed into the far side netting!

1-0

At halftime I told them I was please with their play and to keep up the good work.

The Mannheim manager must have given players a good shouting at halftime as they came charging at us from the kickoff.

And they promptly scored.

Neal Gibs drifted inside and didn't notice their right winger sprinting down his flank. A Mannheim midfielder chipped a pass into our left corner and the winger curled in a cross.

Spahic came out to get it but he only managed to run into Tomiak.

1-1

Goalkeeping coach Wolfgang Wimmer had his head in his hands on the bench. We all feel your pain.

In the 56th minute Osawe had a header cleared off the line.

Our breakthrough came in the 72nd minute. Rene Klingenburg was bundled over by a Manneheim defender. The ref immediately pointed to the spot.

Kiprit retrieved the ball as the Westkurv went totally mental.

He carefully placed it on the spot as the Westkurv settled down.

He adjusted it slightly. The Westkurv held its breathe.

Muhammed had gone to his left the last three times. I bet they know that.

The keeper went left, Muhammed went right. The Westkurv exploded!

2-1

I immediately subbed off Gibs and replaced him with Winkler as Mannheim was using our left flank as a freeway into our end.

That did the trick. I made other subs near the end just to slow the match down but little else happened.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

The players saluted the Westkurv. The Westkurv had proclaimed their undying love by screaming their joy back at them.

I walked over and shook the refs hands. I saw the Mannheim manager Patrick Glöckner. We shook and exchanged pleasantries.

I began wandering toward the tunnel.

"Enrico! Enrico!" Florian Carre said shoving a mic into my face. "Big win in the derby. Anything to say?"

"Yes. Great result, Florian. Great result ..."

Suddenly, the Westkurv began chanting "Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! ..."

"Hold on a minute ..." I said. Florian and I both turned to see what the ruckus was.

Wait.

Was that Vic on the field?

Wait.

"What the ****?" I muttered into Florian's mic. Was that Matthew?

Did he have a ball?

"GOOOAAAALLLLL!!!" The Westkurv screamed as Matthew kicked the ball into the net.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Tuesday, 14 September 2021

9:34am

I was working with the Ulf and the forwards when I noticed over my shoulder that everything had stopped. The players and coaches were huddled around someone on the ground.

"Oh s***," I muttered as I jogged over.

"Zimmer, groin," Jörg said as I arrived.

Boris Tomiak and Assani Lukimya helped him up. Jörg ran off and got the golf cart. Jörg and I drove him into Fritz-Walter.

"Its not good," Captain Jean Zimmer said, wincing in pain. "I felt it let go."

"Let's get ATK's assessment," I said.

Anieszka agreed that it wasn't good, got some ice on it and proclaimed that he'd be out a month.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Verl is a tiny town four hours drive north past Dortmund but not as far a Bielefeld. We decided to drive up in the morning. So did several thousand Roten Teufels. The stadium was half full and it felt like a home match!

Philipp Hercher replaced our injured captain, Jean Zimmer. I'd hadn't been satisfied with Hendrick Zuck's play down right flank as our lone winger, so I replaced him with Marius Kleinsorge.

Our new tactical change of whipping in earl crosses paid dividends. We had Verl backpedaling and defending.

In the 14th minute, Rene Klingenburg chipped a pass into space down the right, Hercher ran onto it and crossed. Osayamen Osawe's shot was blocked but the ball fell Muhammed Kiprit and he whacked it into the back of the net!

0-1

The Kaiserslautern supporters were still chanting Muhammed's name when he did it again.

Kleinsorge lasered in a cross and Kiprit flicked it past the keeper from three meters out.

0-2

The Verl fans were silent. The Roten Teufel, crammed in behind the other goal, were going nuts.

Out of nothing in the 26th minute, they clawed one back.

Their left winger had passed the ball inside and followed his pass. Right back Hercher didn't follow his man.

The Verl left winger got the ball back, looked up, made eye contact with their forward and zipped a pass towards the top of our box.

Boris Tomiak saw this unfold in front of him. Assani Lukimya saw the midfielder make eye contact with his forward. He should have seen their forward start his run if he hadn't been ball watching.

Neither reacted well and their forward was free at the top of the box and ripped a shot into the far corner past Avdo Spahic.

1-2

The Verl supporters didn't make nearly as much noise as our supporters so I'm sure Tomiak and Lukimya heard me screaming at them to pay attention.

It didn't matter, though.

Today was Muhammed Kiprit's day.

Verl were pressing high, Osawe recognized this and dropped deep to get the ball.

He spun and slid a pass right up the middle.

Into space for Kiprit to chase.

And he didn't miss.

1-3

That was it.

The team at the top of the table crumpled.

The Roten Teufels sang and chanted their team over the finish line.

Verl supporters began exiting the stadium around 70 minutes.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

I never look at the table until a quarter of the season has past. Things are looking up. We're third, fourteen scored, seven conceded. We face the new first place side Osnabrück at home next Saturday.

 

[Sam91]

Great win against top there!!

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Tuesday, 21 September 2021

1pm-ish

"May I join you?" Vicente asked in German.

I was chewing so I just pointed to the spot opposite me. Vicente was a Valencia legend I'd persuaded to join as a scout. He'd been a speedy, technical winger in his day. I'd brought him on board so that we could scout Spain for talent after we got promotion. As all budgets were limited, he was only scouting in Germany this season.

"How are you?" I asked in Spanish once I'd swallowed.

"Good, good," he replied.

"How are you adapting to German cuisine?" I asked. I know I'd had a hard time adjusting initially.

"I have found it hard, honestly," he said. I nodded. He looked at his Cordon Bleu and spätzle somewhat forlornly.

"I know what its like, its hard," I said. "The chef here is good, though." He shrugged. "I hope your wife is a good cook at least."

"I didn't marry her for her cooking," he replied and smirked.

We ate for a moment in silence. Jörg joined us.

"I met a fellow Spaniard," Vicente said in Spanish.

"Ahh," I said. "A Levantino or a Che?" Levantinos were the people you lived on the east coast of Spain. Che is the nickname Valencia fans have for themselves.

"Oh, he's a Che all right," Vincente said. "I met him in Stuttgart." Why was he telling me this? "Now I know you have the taste for tapas and paella and Spanish food generally. Well, this guy is a chef. And he just got fired from the hotel at which he worked."

"Oh?" I said.

"Don't you think Kaiserslautern needs a Spanish restaurant?" he said with a wicked grin on his face.

"Let me guess, you already have a location in mind," I said.

"Over by IKEA on the east side of town. Its just off the autobahn ..."

"I understood autobahn," Jörg interjected. We both laughed. Lorenzo joined us.

"There's a vacant storefront," Vicente continued. "it was a restaurant before."

"Sure, I'll join up," I said. "But I'm a silent partner. No involvement."

"Great," Vicente replied. "I'll arrange for you to meet him."

 

[Enrico Pucci]

It was a cool, moist afternoon. It had been misty or raining all day. The Fritz-Walter didn't seem quite as full as it normally did even though the league leaders were visiting.

I didn't make any changes except that Kenny Redondo is fit enough sit on the bench.

The match started slow as it was raining hard. About the 20th minute it lightened up and with it our performance.

In the 25th minute, center back Boris Tomiak ran forward with the ball, crossing the half line. Osayamen Osawe had dropped back to provide a passing option. He drew a Osnabrück midfielder. Muhammed Kiprit was wide left. Rene Klingenburg saw the gap and pointed as he started his run.

Tomiak skipped a pass across the wet grass towards the penalty box.

And Klingenburg splashed a bouncing shot across the soaked turf into the far corner.

1-0

He ran to the Westkurv to celebrate with the fans and his teammates.

After the goal, the match settled into a midfield battle which is fine by me.

As the match headed to half time, we looked in control.

In the 42nd minute, their big, hulking center forward Felix Higl had drifted into midfield to get a touch. He got his touch then drifted out towards our left flank as Osnabrück tried to find an opening on the right side.

"Lukimya! Lukimya!" I yelled at my left-sided center back. He didn't hear me. Higl was behind him. If Osnabrück could get a 2nd post cross in, it was an ideal match up for them. Higl was 1.94m and my left back Neal Gibs was scrawny and 1.8m.

Their left winger couldn't find an opening for a cross, but their left fullback was open. When my right back Philipp Herscher stepped up, the left back fed it to the left winger who curled a cross towards the second post and Higl.

Higl ran over Gibs and smashed a header past Avdo Spahic.

1-1

"F***," I said to Jörg.

"S***," Jörg replied.

"Fall asleep f***ing once the f***ing half and bam," I complained. "F***."

Jörg nodded.

"Listen up," I said once everyone was sitting in Die Kabine. "We have to do better on crosses. Higl is a beast. This means that all of the defense needs to keep any eye on him. On that goal, Avdo, you need to tell your defenders that we've got a mismatch with Gibs on Higl. Tomiak, Lukimya: you two need to talk with each other and to your fullbacks. Gibs and Herscher: you two need to talk, too. If you've got Higl out on your side, tell your center back."

"For the rest of you, keep working hard. The goals are coming, we just need to keep working hard to provide passing options. The grass is nice and wet so your passes should arrive really quickly. Let's go and get 'em."

We certainly tried in the second half.

Osnabrück certainly were ripe for the picking.

But each attack fizzled or the final pass just wasn't quite right, or we missed the target.

In the 70th minute, I chose safety over valor and replaced Gibs with left-footed center back Alexander Winkler. He's 1.9m and strong.

We continued to curl in crosses. Or work the ball into the box.

The 80th minute passed. Our fruitless attempts to score increased in urgency.

In the 83rd, Klingenburg chipped a pass over the defense. Muhammed Kiprit raced onto it, but a defender caught him and forced him outside to the right.

He fed a pass into the path of my hard-charger right back Herscher.

He shot for the second post.

Their keeper got a fingertip to it and steered it round the post.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Saturday, 25 September 2021

9ish PM

"My dear Italian-American schnitzel-loving sourpuss," Gwen said. "You're playing with your food again."

"Sorry," I said and sighed.

"Alright, what's going on?"

"Two things, I think. First, I just got to get over our performance today. Secondly, I've been approached to invest in a restaurant start up."

"That's good ..."

"Well, maybe," I said.

"Why? What's the problem."

"Last time I invested in a restaurant, the economy collapsed and my mafioso father-in-law loaned me money to keep it going."

"Ooo, yeah, I can see why you're conflicted." Gwen said. "I don't think my Dad would loan you a shilling."

I gave her the details.

"So when do you meet the chef?" she asked.

"Wednesday at Vicente's place."

"Am I invited?"

"Of course, my dear."

"Oh, goodie," she said. "Here's what I propose. We decide upon in advance how much we're willing to sink into the place, there will be maintenance costs I imagine, and we don't go beyond that."

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Wednesday, 29 September 2021

9ish pm at Vincente's

Foodgasm (a term which comes out from the combination of the words "food" and "org@sm") is a neologism that indicates a pleasurable and euphoric feeling of satisfaction that occurs during the consumption of particularly amazing and delicious foods: this pleasure is sometimes accompanied by vocal noises (e.g. moans, sighs, screams of joy and happiness) and a variety of facial expressions.

"Ermagerd," Gwen mumbled with her mouth full of patatas bravas.

"F***," I murmured. "F***."

"Mmmm, good, yeah?" she whispered to me.

"So what do you think," Vicent said, walking up to us.

"F*** its good," I said as I shoved something with a sardine on top into my mouth.

"I'd like you to meet Ricardo," he said in Spanish. "This is Gwen and Enrico." We shook hands. His hands were rock hard like my father-in-laws. Scarred, too. Vito who owns my favorite restaurant in Bologna said to judge a chef by his food and his hands. Ricardo seemed like the real deal.

"Enrico spent some time in Cadiz with Los Amarillos Submarinos. One season, right?" I nodded.

"You like it then?" Ricardo asked.

"Can you tell by how I'm shoving this much into my face?" I said in Spanish. "What restaurant were you at?"

"The Hampton by Hilton in the city center," he replied. "I just couldn't toe the corporate line anymore. I want to cook the food of Valencia."

"Well, you've won me over," I said. Then in American: "I'm your beyotch."

Ricardo and Vicente both looked at me confused. Gwen giggled.

"That means I really like it in American," I translated.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Saturday, 2 October 2021

5ish pm

I watched a number of the other matches today. I had Osnabrück's on the TV, Mannheim's on my laptop, 1860 München's on my iPad and I borrowed Gwen's iPad to keep an eye on Eintracht Braunschweig (EBS).

Osnabrück drew 1-1 with Zwickau and lost the top spot because Mannheim beat Verl 3-1 to go top. Verl's poor run of form continues.

1860 spanked Viktoria 1899 4-0. This sent 1860 third and Viktoria bottom.

Braunschweig got an early goal and held out for the win away at Saarbrücken.

All of this drops us to 7th temporarily. Since we're tied on goal differential with Osnabrück, a win tomorrow would send us second.

We travel up to Hannover and into Hannover's 49,000 seat HDI Arena to play Havelse. This should be weird as they've been drawing one to the three thousand fans for their matches.

They haven't give up all that many, but have only scored four times this season.

If there is an easy win, its tomorrow.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

I sat out last year's season and missed playing in empty stadiums. Well, Hannover's HDI Arena felt cavernous and vast with only three thousand fans in it. Two thousand Roten Teufels traveled north for this one and sat behind a goal. Havelse's thousand or so supporters were spread out on one side.

Social distancing was optimal.

We took the ball down and decamped in the Havelse half.

Boris Tomiak smashed home a towering header from a Marlon Ritter corner kick in the 7th minute.

I expected the route to be on.

In the 20th minute, Muhammed Kiprit scored an exquisite goal. Philipp Hercher, deputizing at right back for the still injured Jean Zimmer, whipped in a cross. Kiprit adjusted his positioning and as the ball came across his body, volleyed the cross past the frozen Havelse keeper.

We continued to press, but not all that hard. The match had the intensity of a training session.

Havelse were **** and only managed to get into our end a couple of times resulting in one wayward shot.

The second half was as thrilling as cooling dishwater.

I made a bunch of subs to keep key players fresh and give my second choice players some playing time.

We did what we needed to do.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Monday, 4 October 2021

10:33am

"Ahhh," I sighed as i sipped my espresso and squinted into the bright sunlight. "Thanks for making me coffee."

The room had an espresso machine, that's how posh this place was.

"You're welcome," Gwen whispered from right behind me. "Ah, Valencia."

She rested her chin on my shoulder and we absorbed the view from our hotel's balcony.

"A nice oasis before the coming storm," she said.

She was flying to Milan on Wednesday for fashion week. I would fly back home then as well to resume training sessions. Elke and I would wrangle the kids for the two weeks she'd be gone.

"Milano is such a great city," I said in Italian. Then in English: "I bet your experience of it is entirely different. I bet like we experienced completely different cities."

"I won't be going to the San Siro," she said.

"You know what!" I said. "I just realized that I don't have any players on international duty. Boy, that's a change."

"You're relaxed," she said. "There's no tension in your neck or your shoulders. I don't need to read the paper to tell me when you're where you want to be in the table."

I snickered.

"Mommy?" Allison asked as she trundled out. "You kith baby panda boo boo?"

Baby Panda was covered in bandaids which was actually amazing considering it was a stuffed animal. Where had she found that many bandaids?

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Wednesday, 6 October 2021

9am

"Alright, listen up," I said as everyone gathered around me on the training pitch. "Since this is the international break, we're going to work on some stuff in a very different way this week. Next week we return to the usual training session aimed at preparing you for Freiberg Two." Freiburg's second team was rock bottom of 3.Liga. "Let's split first and second string into teams. We're going to play each other full on, eleven against eleven. The difference is I'm going to stop the game periodically and talk through some situations. Alright, let's split up."

"You're f***ed!" Jörg taunted pointing a giant sausage-sized finger at the starting eleven. "You're s***!"

Jörg would be coaching the second stringers.

"Oh, sorry Zim," I said. Captain Jean Zimmer was back in training today. "You're with Günther. Its fitness work for you. ATK says no contact yet."

Zimmer groaned then jogged over towards Günther.

I wanted to focus on how we moved the ball back and forth in front of a parked bus. I also wanted to focus on how to keep our shape defensivly, communicate better on the pitch and prevent our opponents from getting overloads against us.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Saturday, 9 October 2021

8:30ish pm

"Elke, you are an angel sent from heaven," I said.

"I seriously thought someone was going to die tonight," she replied.

"Take tomorrow off," I said. "I don't have training tomorrow. I think I'll take them to the zoo."

"You sure about that?"

"Yes. They love the zoo, what could go wrong." She looked somewhat frightened so I winked. "No, seriously, I got this."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Elke. Now go and get some rest."

"Alright," she said as she walked towards the door. "I'll see you Monday. Call me if you need help."

I listened to her car door slam, the engine start, and heard her leave.

Then I enjoyed the bliss of a quiet house. Well, maybe Matthew was snoring a little.

Then I dialed Gwen.

"Well hello there my multi-national man of mystery," Gwen answered. She was somewhere loud. "They're already in bed?"

"Yes. And nobody died or anything."

"That is always a plus."

"You sound a bit tipsy. Where are you?"

"I have been plied with liquor of various kinds," she replied. "There was also wine earlier. We are waiting to go in for dinner. I don't actually know the name. I just got into the limo. How was tonight?"

"Allie refused to take her bath, took hostages and began making demands. While Elke and I were with the hostage negotiators and trying to make sure the special forces police unit didn't destroy too much, Matthew climbed on the f***ing table and swung from the chandelier. He claimed he was Tarzan."

"You're f***ing kidding me."

"I swear on the badge of my Alpha its true. The look on his face when he realized he was busted was priceless. I mean, I had to be the angry father and all that, but fkn A it was hilarious. I should get an Oscar or something for my acting skills."

"What did you do, feed them sugar all day or something?" she asked.

"I have a theory," I said.

"Do you."

"Yes, I checked my phone cuz I'm taking them to the zoo tomorrow and my weather app said its a full moon tonight."

"You know, that might explain it," she said. "So the zoo tomorrow? So cool. I really really really really really wish I could be there rather than with the skeletons. You'll send me pictures?"

"Of course."

"Oh, don't buy them any s***. They've got enough cr@p. What about the chandelier?"

"I'm going to have to make some calls."

"Oh, we're going in to dinner now," she said. "Wait. I think this is a French restaurant."

"What the f***!" I exclaimed. "You're going to a french restaurant when you're in Italy?"

"Bluedy 'ell," she exclaimed. "I did not set this up I promise you. Who the he|| arranges for French food in Milan? Well many kisses and etcetera, I love you."

"I love you, too."

Click.

 

[Enrico Pucci]

Yea, sure, they're bottom of the table. But there are a couple of kids in this side I would love to have on my team. I warned the players which ones to watch out for.

The only change is our captain, Jean Zimmer, returns to the line-up.

Not all that many fans turned up to see the future prospects of Freiburg. Warm rain meant good passing.

Everything was going fine. We were creating chances. Until the 13th minute when it rather abruptly fell apart.

One of those prospects I told you about changed the course of the game. Freiburg had the ball out to our right. They quickly shifted the ball across the pitch and got it to their right winger Emilio Kehrer.

Left back Neal Gibs was there, but not tight on him as the ball arrived. As soon as Gibs stepped up to make sure he couldn't turn, he spun Gibs took three steps and smashed a shot into the far side netting past a frozen Avdo Spahic.

0-1

Absolute blunt force trauma.

"You've got to do better than that," I yelled across the pitch at Gibs. "Arrive when the ball does. Don't let him turn. Do better next time."

The stadium was in shock so I'm sure Gibs could hear me.

We just couldn't get going. Muhammed Kiprit was not at his best today. Right winger Kenny Redondo was hot, stinky garbage. The central midfield tandem of Marlon Ritter and Rene Klingenburg who so regularly dominated the midfield were ghosts of themselves today.

Had everyone gotten Covid?

"Here's my team talk," I said once everyone was in Die Kabine for half time. I pointed to Jörg.

"F*** that s***!" he yelled. "That was hot f***ing garbage out there."

"Jörg is correct as always," I said. "It was garbage and it was hot. That pitch is groomed within an millimeter of its life. Its wet. Its ideal circumstances for quick ball movement. You all look like you are sleep-walking. We're challenging for promotion. This is lack of intensity is absolutely unacceptable. Jörg, please tell our contestants what they'll win tomorrow morning if our play continues to be as bad as it is?"

"F***ing run all f***ing morning," Jörg said.

"Redondo, your day is done. Kleinsorge takes your spot. Go out there and show me what you're all made of," I concluded.

That woke them up.

We still could not score, though.

We curled in crosses. We lumped in crosses.

We created intricate interplays resulting in shots either dribbled at their keeper or blasted wildly off target.

"Jörg!" I yelled at about the 63rd minute. "Klingenburg and Ritter off! Wunderlich and Zuck on!"

Jörg spoke into his collar mic and Mike Wunderlich and Hendrick Zuck jogged over from where every single player except the backup keeper was warming up.

"Mike on the right," I said to them as they got their shirts on. "Zuck on the left."

My theory was that Klingenburg and Ritter just didn't have it today. They just didn't have the magic touch and maybe Mike and Zuck would.

In the 77th minute Osayamen Osawe won a free kick about 26-28m out a bit to the left of goal. Wunderlich grabbed the ball and began placing and adjusting the ball for the direct free kick. Wunderlich is right footed so this was perfectly placed.

I noticed that the Freiburg keeper was standing dead center of the goalmouth. The wall was guarding the left, he should be guarding the right. Mike looked up. I think he saw it.

He smashed a shot right for the upper right hand corner.

The keeper was too far away and the ball was in the net before he was fully diving.

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I jumped into the air and spun. I landed pumping my fists into the air as the tsunami from the bench washed over me.

As the players were jogging back upfield after the celebration, I screamed myself red in the face urging them to go and get all the points.

We pushed and we prodded but just couldn't find a way through.

In the 89th minute we'd yet again worked ourselves into a promising position. Osawe had dropped deep to get the ball, pulling a central defender with him. He got the ball and tapped it to Wunderlich. Mike zipped a pass forward to Zuck who'd moved into the vacuum Osawe had created.

I groaned when Zuck passed outside to left back Gibs instead of turning and racing at the goal.

But Gibs fed a pass into the box for Zuck to run onto. Zuck looked up to see his options.

Meanwhile, Osawe had loitered 35 meters out for a moment. When he saw the pass into space for Zuck, he took of like greased lightning. Zuck probably saw the blur before he heard the sonic boom as Osawe hit maximum speed. Zuck chipped a delicate ball into the path of the onrushing forward.

Osawe smashed the header past the frozen keeper.

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