This match had banana peel written all over it. An empty Münchner Olympiastadion, two central defenders who'd never played together before, and opponents near the relegation zone and desperate for points.
In the 13th minute, Alexander Winkler misjudged a long ball and let it get over his head. There was no way that Kevin Kraus would ever get back in time.
Their striker raced in on goal.
His first touch wasn't great which allowed Julan Niehues put some pressure on him.
He still got a shot away.
Avdo Spahic didn't move.
It hit the base of the post and bounced right to Kraus who'd finally made it back into the penalty box.
Kraus rolled the ball to Spahic who cleared it.
Somehow Muhammed Kiprit leapt for the high ball, controlled it off his chest and rolled his defender all at once.
He then sent a ball into the Türkgücü penalty box. Marius Kleinsorge raced after it. A defender took a great angle so Kleinsorge didn't have any options but to turn back and pass to Jean Zimmer who was sprinting forward to provide support.
Our brave captain whipped a ball to the second post where my Englishman was arriving.
Osayamen Osawe outjumped and outmuscled his defender and smashed the header into the open net.
0-1
From near despair to ectasy.
In the 30th minute, Türkgücü had a throw deep on our left flank. Neither Osawe, Marlon Ritter nor Julian Niehues recognized that they had us outnumbered and their right winger crossed.
Zimmer, Kraus and Winkler all watched the Türkgücü striker rise and smash a header off the crossbar.
It hit the diving Spahic in the back, rebounded onto the post, and dribbled away wide.
It should be 2-1 at this point except for our ridiculous luck we're graced with today.
In the 32nd minute, they bamboozled Kleinsorge, Klingenburg, Niehues and Zimmer and played their left winger free down the left flank.
He slowed to a jog, picked out his pass and curled in his cross.
Once again, their striker rose above the admiring defenders ...
And smashed his header right at Spahic who clutched it to his chest gratefully.
I spun and looked at Jörg and Lorenzo. Jörg looked like he was about to have an aneurism, smoke was nearly coming out of his ears. Lorenzo had his head buried in his hands.
In the 38th minute, they had another throw deep in our half on our left. This time they just played quick little passes and their striker was charging goalward inside the 5m box. He zipped a pass across the 5m box to the left winger who smacked his shot off the post.
It should be 3-1.
It got worse in the 38th minute. Kleinsorge took off down the right wing and promptly let the ball roll out of bounds and started hopping while clutching his left hamstring. ATK ran out onto the pitch as I called Kenny Redondo over from warming up to replace our stricken winger.
Then the floodgates opened.
I know what you're thinking. This is when Türkgücü put us to the sword. It would have made sense but football is baffling.
Ritter was fouled just outside the center circle in the Türkgücü half in the 41st minute. The center backs jogged forward. He lobbed in a long ball into the box. In the melee inside the box, Klingenburg sprawled to the turf.
The ref point to the spot.
Kiprit smashed the PK into the left side netting. The keeper even guessed correctly, but his shot was too well placed and had too much power.
0-2
We had another moments later.
Klingenburg had time and space.
He lofted a chip straight up the middle.
Kiprit's run was perfectly timed.
He was in alone.
He slid the ball past the keeper and into the net.
0-3
I couldn't believe my eyes. We'd played horribly defensively yet were now thrashing our hapless opponents.
"What the f*** do I tell them?" I asked Jörg and Ulf as we walked towards the team room.
"F*** if I know," Jörg replied.
"Don't quit scoring?" Ulf said.
Ritter opened the second half by curling in a stunning free kick from 28 meters and into the top right hand corner of the net.
0-4
Seriously, this was getting ridiculous.
Alexander Winkler got his first goal for the club when he smashed home a second post corner from Ritter.
0-5
Then we collectively fell asleep and let our opponents back into the match.
They scored successive goals in the 67th and 72nd minutes. Lorenzo just sat slack-jawed on the bench. Jörg had his head in his hands.
All the defenders were going to pay for their suffering.
Then Winkler scored two more towering back post headers. The third in extra time.
2-7
Wow. What an absolutely mental, rollercoaster of a match.
