JFK - The legend continues (poor Newcastle)
The Life And Times Of JFK
Oh Joe. Oh dear Joe. We feel a little like it's too easy to poke fun at Joe F***ing Kinnear but it is our civic duty as a watcher of football media. If you feel sorry for confused, elderly gentlemen and think they should be left alone to eat Werthers Originals, tend their allotments and be in sole charge of the transfer dealings of one of English football's elite clubs, then skip this section.
Kinnear is continuing his self-promotional tour of the local north-east media and his tram has now stopped at the Shields Gazette, where he argues that he is "head and shoulders above every other director of football". Why's that, Joe?
"I'm probably the only football manager to be a director of football. I don't know any other ex-managers who have."
For a man who "can pick the phone up at any time of the day and speak to any manager in the league in all the divisions", Kinnear has a remarkably poor knowledge of who's in charge at all these clubs. Mediawatch would have assumed that Peterborough's director of football (and ex-manager) Barry Fry would be a natural bedfellow of Kinnear's, even if Crawley's Steve Coppell does not move in the same comedy cockney circles. Kinnear may also remember that both Kenny Dalglish and Harry Redknapp have had spells as Directors of Football and we seem to remember them as occasional managers. But who are we to nit-pick? Well, we're dedicated nit-pickers obviously...
"I've won every award there is in football as a player."
To be fair, Kinnear won a fair few things as a player - two League Cups, an FA Cup and a UEFA Cup. No league title, no World Cup, no European Cup, no Conference North, but he did say 'award' rather than 'trophy', so presumably he must have won the Ballon D'Or, the PFA Footballer of the Year and possibly a BAFTA, right? Erm. What do you think?
I'm lending my experience as a manager for all those years - 10 years at Wimbledon, two years at Nottingham Forest, two years winning promotion at Luton and, of course, almost two years at Newcastle."
Or, alternatively, seven years at Wimbledon, 11 months at Nottingham Forest, two years winning promotion (after initial relegation) at Luton and, of course, almost five months at Newcastle.
Mediawatch is painfully reminded of the time Granddad Mediawatch belted out 'Do Your Balls Hang Low?' in the doctor's waiting room. He was given medication rather than a Director of Football job.