Middelfart - let's not follow through

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Euros 2024

Sipping on my 17th first class beer, I realise what I have done. I am in charge of an entire nation's hopes and dreams. I doubt the Polish fans will be expecting fireworks but they have some exciting player and we should do well. The first aim is to get out of the group and then see what happens. Maybe we get a lucky draw, maybe.

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Looking at the group we have a tough one. Belgium are clear favourites for the group but neither Denmark nor Ukraine will give us an easy game.

Euro Group Stage: Denmark vs Poland
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It's only fitting that we face the home nation of my club in the first game. Milik scores just before half time and we get a good start. The threatening Pione Sisto scores early in the second half and we have to settle for the share of points.

Euro Group Stage: Poland vs Ukraine
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YES! A win! Wolski scores and then all the lads decided to see if they can each collect a card. Idiots.

Euros Group stage: Belgium vs Poland
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Milik scores again and we looked fine for the lead. Belgium just have too much quality and the prolific Lukaku scores again. Still a draw and amazingly we go through on top of the group!

Euros Round 2: Poland vs Norway
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The knockout stages see us take on and beat Norway. An unfortunate own goal saw us behind but then Piotr Rzepka stepped up to smash in a free kick. I can see why he plays for Barcelona. We score all our penalities and Dragowski save the final attempt to see us through!

Euros Quarter Final: Poland vs Holland
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Such a shame to end on such a listless performance. Van der Hoek scores from a corner and the Dutch always looked in control. Ah well! We have certainly overachieved!

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The Polish Fa are happy with our performance and I think we have done well for the fans. In a crazy turn of events Turkey beat Belgium 1-0 in the final to lift the cup. No England, Germany, France or Italy! What?


 
I wonder what you're doing differently this time around? Sometimes, I guess, a save just "works".
 
I wonder what you're doing differently this time around? Sometimes, I guess, a save just "works".

You know what I think it is? Usually I go off my 'real' football knowledge of the English leagues and think more about reputations of teams and players rather than using the games in game analysis. This time around I have had to learn everything, the players and how they work best. A combination of that, the use of my Data Analyst and a whole lot of luck is what has meant it works haha
 
another great season! have you had any regens of note as yet? looking forward to this continuing
 
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Preparations

In the coming weeks it will all begin again, and in order to get sorted for the new season, certain things need to happen. My PA needs to phone round clubs to get the best deals for my shortlisted players, prepare my morning coffee and also book in a session with my 'therapist' for one my 'special' massages.

With this stress free, caffeine fuelled mindset, I am able to get up and running for the new season with the challenge of winning the league a third time in a row!

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They have finally done a season review and there are plenty of plaudits for our team. Jensen even sneaks in with the highest average rating.


International
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In our national news, the wonderkid Piotr Rzepka is voted the best Young Player at the tournament . Not bad for a teenager!

Staying with Poland I have some more news to bring you. When the job first came available I was really intrigued, could I take this big step up and manage on the International scene? Well I completed it mate. Thinking ahead, there is not much I can do with Poland. They have an ageing squad with only Rzepka as the stand out youngster coming through. It is with this in mind I have decided to resign from my role as Poland Manager. I meet with the Polish FA directly and explained that I wanted to move on to another challenge and had done all I can with the national side. They were saddened but wished me well.

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Now we get to the real reason I resigned. If their is ever a possibility to take up this job you have to do it. After a very disappointing Euros, England are managerless and need someone to come in. I think that is me, so I send in my application and also talk to some of my friends in the press to say how much I would love to manage the Three Lions.

Within 2 hours I had 3 job offers. England, France and Portugal.
All very good sides and all with their own challenges, England are the obvious choice and I need to challenge myself again.

I gladly accept my highest ever wage, a nice £83k a week!
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Middelfart

Back to the club that I have grown to love like my own offspring. The glorious Middelfart. Preseason has gone well.

We have been drawn in the Champions League against Sparta Prague. If we get through this round I am sure it will be through to the group stages. I feel confident about our chances!
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Transfers
One of the most exciting parts of the season, with a massive increase in transfer and wage budgets we were keen to do business.

The only outgoing player was Moussa Sissoko who did not want to resign and has instead chosen to retire.

Now for the transfers in. I know I have a reputation as a wheeler dealer but the bargains I have secured in this window are ridiculous. The quality of players is great and the depth we have is even better than before.
The marquee signing? ENZO ******* ZIDANE! I know he is not anywhere near as good as his dad but just picture it! All those blue Middelfart shirts with ZIDANE printed on the back!

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Let's take a closer look at the new boys.

Adnan Curovic - DC/R
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We sign the youngish Dane from Lyngby who did so well last year. For under £1M I think this is a very good piece of business, he is young and has all the skills we need to compete for a starting place along with Molberg and Kabongo.

Lukas Lerager - DM/MC
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With only Hansen able to play at DM we needed cover and what a player we have got on our hands. He signs from Polish side Zulte Wargem as our most expensive signing for £1.3M. His stats are solid and he has bags of experience in this league and others.

Mattias Svanberg - Everywhere
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Our first Swedish player! Svanberg has the physical stats to frighten any team and his great versatility means we can play him anywhere from DM to ST! Signing him for a third of his value was great business!

Benny Nielsen - AMC/MC
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Definitely one for the future. Paulissen is not getting any younger and I can see a decline in his performances. Nielsen is the ideal replacement and for just over £1.2M a real bargain!

Enzo Zidane - AMC/AML
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I still can't believe it. Zidane at Middelfart. Don't get me wrong he is not going to be a Troels Jensen but his name carries intent. After an unsuccessful spell at Real, Zidane went to the Greek Superleague and did reasonably well for 5 years. I am hoping his experience and flair will help raise the squad and if he and Kagawa link up, it excites the life out of me.

Cesar Martin - ST
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Out in the remote island of Greece, one of our scouts stumbled across this lad whilst sunning himself on holiday! The Argentine played for Xanthe and we signed him for free! He is a £2M player and we snapped him up. 15 Finishing thoooo!!

Edson - ST
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And last but certainly not least is our first Brazilian signing since Andre Riel I believe? Edson is 25, has bags of pace, flair, long shots but most importantly finishing! We now have a line up of Jensen, Martin and Edson who all can score goals!


Exciting times for Middelfart (and England).

I can not wait to get this season underway!

UP. THE. FARTS!!!!!!​
 
another great season! have you had any regens of note as yet? looking forward to this continuing

Thanks man! No regens personally although some of my new signings look tasty! I must be honest, I don't know how to search for regens on FM. All the half decent prospects seem to be way too expensive
 
Seems like a very solid transfer window to me. Shame the new right winger can't cross... the centre half and defensive mid look really good though. Awesome that you're making so much frickin' money all of a sudden! When's the new stadium finished?

Also... any chance of some screencaps of the England squad?
 
Seems like a very solid transfer window to me. Shame the new right winger can't cross... the centre half and defensive mid look really good though. Awesome that you're making so much frickin' money all of a sudden! When's the new stadium finished?

Also... any chance of some screencaps of the England squad?

Yeah what I will do is try get him to cut in rather than cross. The money should continue but I imagine it will depend on how we do in the Champions League. I will be doing a report shortly on England and how it currently stands
 
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July
The wait is over sports fans, the new season is here! There is a real buzz around the training ground at the moment, a place where ambition is contagious. The new lads are settling in well and we have looked good in pre-season. They look ready for it.

The only bad news is our number 1 keeper Hjobjerg injured himself during a weights session so is out for 8 weeks. This means Lorentzen will get a chance to impress inbetween the sticks.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Nordsjaelland
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What a way to start the season, a comfortable 3-0 win and a hat trick from our main man Jensen. Onwards and upwards!

Danish Superliga: Esbjerg FB vs Middelfart
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Away to a new look Esbjerg side, I decide to give young (old) Zidane a debut and he pays me back with his first goal for Middelfart and a great performance!

Champions League Qualifier: Sparta Prague vs Middelfart
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Oh we do love playing away in the Champions league. The 167 away fans were buzzing to see Prague come up as we all know the beer is cheap and the women beautiful. Back to the football and we see how lucky we are to have Jensen. A penalty and a classy second saw us ease through this away fixture despite having an early penalty scare. Lorentzen stepped up to save it like the big gent he is!

Monthly Review:
A solid start to the season with a 100% win record and looking good whilst doing it!
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Player of the Month: Only one winner for me, Jensen. 5 goals, 2 games sees him just pipped to the official award but including his performance against Sparta, he has to take it!
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Other players also got a mention, not a bad effort at all lads!
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England

As promised I said I would take a screenshot of where the England squad is now. There are a few surprises.

At ST we have a number of options, Kane and Rashford are classed as World Class and Berahino looks tasty too! Ben Woodburn opted to play for England too!
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Across the middle of the park we have a mix. Dele Alli is phenomenal and Dier is not far behind him. Not sure our wingers are up to much though.
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In defence we have Captain John Stones with Andre Wisdom somehow being in with a shout. Luke Shaw looks good at DL and a regen Paul Nash looks to have taken over the DR spot. In goal we have another regen by the name of Eddie Mason who currently plays for Liverpool.
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Provisional thoughts? This could be tougher than I thought!

UP. THE. FARTS!!!
 
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August

In the opening stage of the season we have looked really good. Last year we didn't seem to have conviction and the deadly touch, we are not quite there yet but stepping closer. We have a very busy month ahead so best get to it.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Silkeborg IF
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First up we face Silkeborg at home. They have started like a house on fire and we are level with them. They seemed to have their act sorted out and looked strong. Too strong for us to break through and get the win.


Champions League Qualifier: Middelfart vs Sparta
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The return leg sees something unlikely! We had a brace from our new defender Curovic! He scored his first ever goal for the club and after they drew level, we relied on him again to get the breakthrough. We are going to the next round!

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We get drawn in the playoff against Dinamo, a tough draw but I fancy us to go through.


Transfer News:
Almost all of our business was done early but this lad needed to be signed. Our scouts have said he is a must buy. He is our club record signing but here are some of the facts. He is young, Danish, talented and we have 1 injured keeper and the other is ok.
Introducing Mathias Hammer (great name). For £2.6M he becomes the most expensive player, with wages of only £6.5K it's good business. I will do a screenshot of his stats after I have he is fit and plays.
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Danish Superliga: Randers vs Middelfart
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ARGH! What a disappointing game. Troels Jensen scores to get us going but then Lundberg equalises. Jensen adds another to his impressive early tally and we looked like we were coasting to a win. Step up Marcus Molvadgaard, right footed volley from 25 yards, with the last kick of the game. Gutted.

Danish Superliga: FC Midtjylland vs Middelfart
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A quiet game sees Jensen score, Hansen get injured and us take 3 points.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Brondby
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A real rollercoaster. Zidane scores again and is quickly becoming a fan favourite, and then things get worse. Moller scores for Brondby and then it happened, Zidane jumps for a header and does his ACL in. It looks bad. The second half continues and Gonzalez decides to go on a mad one and score 2 to give us all 3 points. Bittersweet.

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Confirmed then. We have Zidane out for 9 months. on top of that new keeper Hammer and first choice Hojbjerg are both on this list. Thankfully not as bad though!

Champions League Playoff: Middelfart vs Dinamo
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I can't wait for us to play European football in our own stadium, it's really bothering me! Anyway the only action in a tight game worth mentioning is Svanberg's first goal for Middelfart. He has been rather quiet but is starting to settle in. The Swede gives us a valuable lead to defend in the second leg.

Transfer News:
With the lack of quality defenders and the board, fans and honestly myself being unconvinced by Roerslev I have managed another bargain. 32 year old Jakub Brabec is an experienced DC and is a really good addition to add some depth for Molberg, Kabongo and Curovic.
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Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs AAB
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A very odd game. A first half red card saw us push for a winner and it didn't look like it would come. Paulissen makes a start in place of the injured Zidane and scores! Followed up by substitute and almost a forgotten man, Mads Thychosen. 2 late goals mean we get the win.

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Champions League Playoff: Dinamo vs Middelfart

All the way to Maksimir, the home ground of Dinamo for this second leg in the playoff. The prize of winning is the group stages of the Champions League and an estimated £10M+ prize for qualifying.

Let's head down to the pitch as the ref blows his whistle to get us underway.

Kick off: Dinamo get us underway and they look fired up already.
2 Minutes: FOUL! A really sloppy challenge from Lerager as the DM tackles the Dinamo man without getting any of the ball. Dangerous free kick here as it is crossed in from the right, GOOOALLL!!! Dinamo score 2 minutes into the game! It's Antonio Scrbec! He sends the fans wild. We could be in for a treat here. What a start!
21 Minutes: Middelfart have battled well to regain control but Dinamo have had the majority of possession as they attack again here on the left wing. Foul! Thomas Ipoua brings down the winger with a hefty tackle and gets his name taken by the referee.
Half Time: Well the game started off like a house on fire but it has simmered out as the time has gone on. Let's hope the second half is better.

63 Minutes: The arm wrestle continues as we head into the last half hour. Middelfart have been better but neither side have really had a chance.
87 Minutes: Chance here for Jensen! Miss! Oh no, he should have at least hit the target there. That would have seen Middelfart through!
Full time: That's that. We have to go to extra time to decide this game!

104 Minutes: The first half is coming to a close and it is getting nervy. Mads Pedersen upends Obexer and is given a yellow.
105 Minutes: Just before the half time point in Extra time and sub Edson is booked. Silly foul for the fresh player.

Extra time full time: There it goes, neither team wanted to lose and we need penalties to split them.

Penalty 1: Jensen steps up, he doesn't miss these normally but pressure may be on. NO! SCORES! He looked calm and collected as he slotted it away.
Penalty 1: Silva is up first for Dinamo. MISS! Oh no! He has lifted that over the bar.
Penalty 2: Benny Nielsen, the new boy who only plays in Europe. SCORES. Blasts it into the top right.
Penalty 2: Travnik for Dinamo, can he get them going. SAVED! Hit at Lorentzen and he does well to save!
Penalty 3: Swedish Svanberg places the ball down. IN! Smooth finish as it rolls into the bottom left. All the pressure is on Dinamo now to score.
Penalty 3: Santos is the man, he needs to score this. SAVED! Lorentzen is the hero for Middelfart! The fans go wild!

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Phew! That was a bit closer than I would have liked!
Here comes the money!
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Woohoo! All that cash!
Now time for the Group Draw:
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Ooo tasty! We have an easier group than last time but still a tough one. Atletico have to be the biggest threat but we have drawn against Sporting before in the Europa League and will be a better game with our improved team. Fenerbache should be beatable but may spring a surprise or two.

Transfer News:
Yet more transfer news as we sign a great player after our Champions League success. Andre Carrillo is a great signing, he has the pace, skill and experience to help lift the club and he can cross a ball! Not bad for a free transfer! He becomes one of our highest earners with £23K a week in wages but we have a hefty bit still available in the budget.
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Danish Superliga: Lyngby vs Middelfart
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The final game of the month sees us rotate the squad for fitness and we were unable to get the win despite Jensen's efforts.

Monthly Review: In the hectic month of August we have done well in the league retaining our undefeated streak. The main achievement is more about the Champions League!

Player of the Month: Troels Jensen. I love him. I may name my first born after him. 5 games, 5 goals. I love him.

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UP. THE. FARTS!!​
 
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September
Some brilliant news to bring you at the start of the month.
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HAHAHAHA. Oh how the mighty have fallen! Copenhagen get battered and are now actually closer to relegation than they are to the top! To start the month I am actually away for my first ever England trip. We have one friendly and then a competitive game in the 'European League', whatever that is.
I have looked at the England squad and we have some great players, but a great team? I don't know. I plan on using these games to try out some players and see how they get on.

International Friendly: England vs Belgium
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WOW! We blew them away in this game! Woodburn scores and Rashford adds to our quick starts. Solanke comes on as a sub to make his England debut and scores as well. Not bad going at all. Saying that though, when I managed a much weaker Poland team, we drew with Belgium. Perhaps a big win was expected.

European League: England vs Portugal
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An attacking masterclass! Woodburn scores yet again, Kane is world class and adds another and then substitute regen John Travis comes on and nets two! Great result against a team that is higher in the world rankings than us!

After this game the squads morale was much higher and we all left Wembley feeling great, like world beaters.
I board the plane to return to Denmark, I have work to do at Middelfart.

Danish Superliga: Viborg vs Middelfart
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****. The undefeated run is over. And against **** Viborg! The bottom half side hit us quickly at the start to lead by 2 goals. I changed formation, brought on subs and we only managed to get 1 goal. Not good enough.

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****** ****, underdogs overachieve and they hardly say a thing. Lose one game and people lose their minds! Great timing by the press as we head into our first game of the Champions League.

Champions League Group Stage: Atletico Madrid vs Middelfart
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A very, very nice draw. Madrid have superstars like Isco, Dybala and Koke, yet they were held by Molberg, Hansen and Jensen. Well in!

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A bit of cash always seems to help too!

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Copenhagen
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God sake, our chance to really stick it to Copenhagen while they are down and we mess it up. I brought on Lerager as he was after some more action and he decides to test out his new karate moves with a nasty leg-breaking challenge on Milosevic. We were pushing for the winner in that period and it cost us the win.

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I can not believe this bullshit! They are still on my back! Despite their struggles, Copenhagen are still a decent side!

Danish Superliga: Hobro vs Middelfart
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ARGH! Agony! Jensen is a super sub and then it gets ruled out by Ramkilde who always scores against us!

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs AC Horsens
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Finally a big win! Edson scores his first goal after 8 games of trying! **** son!

Monthly Review:
Despite the negative press we have had a solid month. Sure we lost but we are doing pretty well and are within touching distance of surprise package, Silkeborg.
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Player of the Month: Molberg by a mile, he just keeps getting better. His partnership with Curovic is blooming and we look really solid.

UP. THE. FARTS!!!​
 
Hilarious that the media are getting on your back when you're still in 2nd, one point off the lead and 4 clear of 3rd! Haha
 
It's clear the media are expecting too much from you, but it's to be expected for the Danish champions. It will all be forgotten if you go through another unbeaten run.
 
It's clear the media are expecting too much from you, but it's to be expected for the Danish champions. It will all be forgotten if you go through another unbeaten run.

This is true! I am going to be ruthless and go attacking in the next few games to assert some authority!
 
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October

It is time to shut up the press and the naysayers. It is time to put our stamp on this competition and in Europe. It is time for a full strength, high powered Fart revolution.

Champions League Group Stage: Middelfart vs Sporting
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In the stadium of our rivals we host Portuguese powerhouse Sporting. We controlled the game very well and looked composed. In the latter stages of the game we got the breakthrough, Troels Jensen gets the ball on the right side of the box and hits a thunderbolt of a shot into the top of the net.
Time to hold strong and contain this lead. Unbelievably we concede a penalty and Adrien Silva saves the day for Sporting!

Danish Superliga: FC Nordsjaelland vs Middelfart
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An all action first half saw us get a disappointing draw. Edson scores his first in a while and shows he can actually put the ball in the net. Piscitelli scored their equaliser and it was down to Thomas Madsen to give us the lead again. All our efforts were for nought as we concede yet again. Dropped points.

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Nice to get a cash boost for being in first place.

Danish Superliga: OB vs Middelfart
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Our local derby against our neighbours that we have overshadowed in recent years. No change there as we demolished them with a comfortable 3-1 victory.

Champions League Group Stage: Fenerbache vs Middelfart
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WHAT. A. GAME. It had everything. Drama, red cards, missed penalties and goals galore! Jensen was on another level and should have had a hat trick but he **** the bed and missed his pen. A very good win which moves us to the top of the group!

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Always nice to get money for winning. Big money too!

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Esbjerg
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Another missed penalty! And another missed hat trick! I think we need to do some more training! A confident performance for all 3 points.

Danish Cup 3rd Round: Skjold vs Middelfart
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As expected we battered them and I unlocked the badge for beating a team by 5 goals. We should have kept a clean sheet but oh well, we are through to the next round.


Monthly Review:
We have upped it this month, with a solid display in the league we have opened up a slight gap, but we are flexing our muscles and showing the strength. We have done awesome in Europe and I hope that it will be enough to get through to the knockout stages.
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Europe is going great as we are the only team to have got a win!
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Player of the Month:
This month it has been great to see that there is good depth in the squad with some players really stepping up to the challenge. The stand out performers were Jensen and Svanberg who showed their class. Svanberg scored and created goals though and for that he gets ahead of Jensen.

UP. THE. FARTS!!!​
 
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November
Time to really press on. I felt like the last month was a mid level powered fart. I've ordered baked beans to the canteen to upgrade the methane levels.

Danish Superliga: Silkeborg vs Middelfart

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God sake, almost a good comeback. Hansen missed a pen and we had to settle for one point.

Champions League Group Stage: Middelfart vs Fenerbache
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We play better in Europe! 3 different scorers, 3 points!

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Lovely money!

Danish Superliga: Brondby vs Middelfart
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Brondby have been **** the last few years and they gave us a game. Jensen unusually misses a chance and it is down to super sub Thychosen to save the day.

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Our marquee signing from last year has decided it is time to retire. I hope he will enjoy the rest of this season, it will be sad to see him go but he was mainly here for shirt sales and tutoring others.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Randers FC
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Two goals seemed to sure up a victory but Pedersen gets sent off which was ultimately our downfall. Dropped points. ****.

Champions League Group Stage: Middelfart vs Atletico Madrid
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So **** close to a huge win. Jensen is incredible and it was unlucky that Origi scored, but we got a result!

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The major news? We qualify for the knockouts!! First time in our history we take giants steps!

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Midtjylland
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A good win that should have been more, Jensen misses another penalty! Cmon fella!

Monthly Review:
In the last few weeks we have fought hard and showed a clinical edge, I still think there is another gear to go up!
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Player of the Month: Molberg. He has been an absolute beast in the heart of the defence. In the coming weeks we will look to him to lead the way and be a leader that he has been!

UP. THE. FARTS!!!​
 
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