Newcastle United will never be defeated!

Your text makes it hard to read IMO, good luck though, maybe add a tad more detail.
 
TINO TAKES NEW BOYS OUT ON THE TOON!
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Newcastle manager shows new signings a good time on Tyneside

Controversial Toon manager Tino Asprilla has taken his 3 new signings for a night out in the city to help the youngsters adapt.

Both Sergio Oliveira and Vincent Aboubakar are too young to drink but were still seen enjoying themselves in Newcastle's various nightclubs.

Asprilla's methods have been questioned but the Geordie faithful will have to wait and see if he will be a success as manager.​

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NEWCASTLE UNITED
PRE SEASON



Huddesfield 0-4 Newcastle -
Best(3) Vuckic

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Chesterfield 1-3 Newcastle -
Carroll, Guthrie, Xisco


Brechin 0-2 Newcastle -
Guthrie, Vickic


Newcastle 4-2 Duisburg -
Carroll(2) Enrique, Lovenkrands

Andy_Carroll_1705147c.jpg


Vit Guimaraes 0-2 Newcastle -
Carroll, Routledge


Kilmarnock 2-1 Newcastle -
Carroll

Partick Thisle 0-2 Newcastle -
Nolan, Carroll


Stockport 1-4 Newcastle -
Nolan(2) Ben Arfa, Dos Santos

Kevin-Nolan-001.jpg

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ARSENAL GUN DOWN TRAVELLING TOON
Arsenal 3-1 Newcastle
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Kieran Gibbs scored his first goal for Arsenal as they defeated newly promoted Newcastle at the Emirates

Theo Walcott and a Tamas Kadar own goal put Arsenal up before Andy Carroll smashed home to give Newcastle a late lifeline.

Gibbs however sealed the game with a smart finish to see off any resistance form the Tynesiders who can be proud of their stubborn performance against the gunners.​

MOM: Kieran Gibbs



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UNITED SIGN ANOTHER WONDERKID!
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Thiago Alcantara becomes Newcastle's latest bright young thing

Tino Asprilla continued to add youngsters to his squad with the latest signing 18-year-old Spaniard Thiago Alcantara.

Thiago moves from Barcelona for a fee of £1.5m and is widely tipped to become a fans' favourite on Tyneside.

Alan Smith meanwhile has left St James Park in a shock £2.5m move to champions Chelsea.

Thiago takes over Smith's number 17 jersey.​

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VILLA EDGE OUT TOON!
Aston Villa 2-1 Newcastle
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Newcastle beaten again at Villa Park

Ashely Young and Gabriel Agbonlahor netted to see off a spirited Newcastle side 2-1.

Jonas Gutierrez had levelled after Young's opener but Villa proved too strong for Newcastle who have failed to register a point after two games this season.​

MOM - Jonas Gutierrez



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CHELSEA BRUSH TOON ASIDE!
Newcastle 0-3 Chelsea
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Lampard leads Champions to comfortable win at St James Park

Chelsea crushed Newcastle 3-0 to move top of the Premier League after just three games.

Mikel opened the scoring with a long range drive and Drogba put the game beyond Newcastle after just 10 minutes.

Although the geordies pressed for a goal Chelsea controlled the game and sealed the win through Lampard on the hour mark.​

MOM - Frank Lampard

 
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Not a great start but not easy fixtures either

see u sorted your sig good times

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UNITED HAMMER EASTLEIGH!
FA Cup 2nd Round - Newcastle 5-0 Eastleigh
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Fabricio Coloccini scored twice as Newcastle eased past Eastleigh in the revamped FA Cup

Jonas Gutierrez opened the scoring before Coloccini scored two headers to seal the game before half time.

Andy Carroll then made it four after 50 minutes with a powerful finish, Shola Ameobi then came off the bench to net his first of the season and wrap up the win.​

MOM - Fabricio Coloccini

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KING ARFA!
Newcastle 2-0 Liverpool
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Ben Arfa strikes as Newcastle beat Mersey giants

Newcastle finally got their first points of the season with a terrific win against Liverpool at St James Park.

Joey Barton and Hatem Ben Arfa grabbed the goals to down the reds with the frenchman in particular in sparkling form.

The geordies also had tough tackling midfielder Cheick Tiote sent off late on for two yellow cards.

Newcastle's start to the season has proved difficult but finally they are off the mark at the fourth time of asking.​

MOM - Hatem Ben Arfa



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MAGPIES CONTINUE TO IMPROVE AFTER SLOW START!
Wolves 1-1 Newcastle
Newcastle 1-0 Blackburn

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Jonas Gutierrez scored in both games to take Newcastle up to 7 points after 6 games so far this season.

MOM - Jonas Gutierrez(both games)

 
January Update

NEWCASTLE SIGN THE WOLF!
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Ricky Van Wolfswinkel joins United in £5m deal

Tino Asprilla has moved to salvage Newcastle's disappointing season by signing Dutch frontman Ricky Van Wolfswinkel from FC Utrecht.

The lethal striker has scored 13 goals in 17 Eredivise games this season and is set to link up with Geordie sensation Andy Carroll upfront for Newcastle.

The 21-year-old also has three caps for his country and scored on his debut against Ukraine​
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TOON TOPPLE LIVERPOOL!
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Van Wolfswinkel nets as Newcastle shock the Reds at Anfield

Ricky Van Wolfswinkel scored on his Premier League debut as Newcastle grabbed a landmark 2-0 victory in an otherwise disappointing season.

Local lad Andy Carroll also scored his 11th of the season with a trademark header after Van Wolfswinkel blasted home from the edge of the box after 80 minutes at Anfield.

The Geordies will hope this result can turn around their faltering campaign as they aim for the top half.

New £3m signing Adel Taarabt also came off the bench to make his first appearance for Newcastle after his move from championship team QPR.
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