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Chelsea Football Club can confirm that Jose Mourinho has left the club, just a week after his appointment for a third time following the acceptance of a significant compensation package offered by Manchester United for his signature. The club are naturally disappointed to see Jose leave but would like to take the opportunity to announce an exciting new era for the football club with Pep Guardiola becoming our new first team manager.
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Pep brings a huge amount of prestige ad talent to the club, having won a major trophy in every season he has been in football management. We wish him every success in his new role and would like to stress that he will be given as much as is necessary for him to settle in.
Transfer round up
In what was a fairly hectic transfer window, we would like to announce major changes to the make up of the first team squad. Leaving the club are the following players...
Gary Cahill - We would like to place on record our gratitude for one of our most faithful servants. Gary has been fantastic for us for such a long time but the time has come for him to move on and make way for Zouma and Manolas to have their chance. Gary moves to Norwich for a fee of £4 million.
Kenedy - A hugely talented young lad, Kenedy makes the move to Sunderland for a fee of approximately £15 million. While we are saddened to see such a huge prospect leave, he simply does not fit in to Peps tactical approach so we decided to cash in now.
Pedro - Also moving to Sunderland, Pedro leaves after a less than impressive two year stint with the club. As part of the joint deal with Kenedy, Pedro left for an additional £4 million and makes way for free signing Arjen Robben to come into the team.
Theo Walcott - Theo just didnt work out in our squad and never really got his chance and is the third player to join Sunderland, this time for a fee of £2.5 million. In all honesty it is quite a relief to get both his and Pedro's wages off the books.
Diego Costa - Diego Costa has been a stain on this fine clubs reputation for far too long. We decided to take action and throw him out of the door and into Man City's waiting arms. He leaves as part of the deal to bring Sergio Aguero the Bridge.
Cesar Azpilicueta - Really sad to see this fine player leave, but it was more important we got Kun Aguero in. We will miss his versatility but with adequate cover on both sides of the defence we should be fine without him.
Morgan Schneiderlin - Signed last year but never really got a foot in the side and the appearances he did make, he looked poor in. Yet another makeweight in the Aguero deal.
All of those players leaving left rather a significant hole in the squad to fill, but fill it we did! Joining the club for the new campaign are...
Sergio Aguero - Perhaps the best natural striker in the world? If he stays fit, our chances of winning the league increase by 200%. We are delighted to welcome him on board, especially with the creative powers sat behind him in the team.
Arjen Robben - We are also delighted to welcome Arjen back for a second spell at the club! Joining on a free following his release by Bayern, he will only set the club back a moddest £60k a week and will give Cuadrado some healthy competition on the right side of midfield.
David Silva - A wonderful player, David joins from Man City for £30 million and will provide some stern competition for Hazard, Oscar and Fabregas. He could play an equally important role in helping Sergio settle in.
Jack Butland - Joining from Liverpool for £5 million, Jack will work as Thibaut Courtois understudy, and will also help bolster the clubs homegrown player quota.
Sergi Roberto - Taken on loan from Barcelona, Sergi offers us a different option in both defensive midfield and midfield but will primarily work as an understudy to Matic.
Andreas Christensen - Not so much a signing, but Andreas returns from a two year loan spell overseas and will take Cahill's place in the first team. A hugely talented boy, we have great hopes for him here at Chelsea.
So how does this leave the squad looking? Lets have a look..
Goalkeepers - Thibaut Courtois, Jack Butland
Full Backs - Filipe Luis, Lucas Digne, Mario Fernandes, Silvan Widmer
Centre Backs - John Terry, Kurt Zouma, Kostas Manolas, Andreas Christensen
Central Midfield - Nemanja Matic, Sergi Roberto, Cesc Fabregas, Yaya Toure, Oscar, Ruben Loftus-Cheek.
Wings - Eden Hazard, David Silva, Arjen Robben, Juan Cuadrado, Willian
Strikers - Sergio Aguero, Daniel Sturridge, Jonothan Calleri
(Reporter to the Newspaper)
Will have to keep that in mind the next time!