Tuesday and Wednesday was all title talk and job talk. I had support though, from friend and fellow coach Marvin Andrews and Brendan Rodgers..

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22nd April 2020

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JEFF STELLING

"Tonight has a focus on St James' Park where Newcastle United take on Liverpool FC. Newcastle boss, James McKenzie, has his job on the line while Liverpool chase another Premier League title. We are joined tonight by Phil Thompson, Iain Dowie and ex-Newcastle midfielder Joey Barton. Predictions?"


PHIL THOMPSON

"I don't think Newcastle have it in them, Jeff. They failed to hold on at Manchester City, they have been boring and almost fear going for it. Liverpool, you know, on the other hand, are chasing the Premiership title and just smashed Arsenal at Wembley. 3-1 Liverpool, I think, Jeff."

IAIN DOWIE

"Phil has to be right, yeah Jeff. Pressure is really building now, on eh, James McKenzie. He's not seen the intensity of the Premier League before and it has hit him hard. I'd like to think he could get a season at the club, with his team but football just isn't like that. Liverpool will be too strong. 3-0."

JOEY BARTON

"I'd love to think McKenzie could get to start next year, get some business done. But they have struggled, they really have, and it is awful that Liverpool could seal the mans fate because I do think they will be too strong for Newcastle. We need performances, Zidane, has to start scoring. Wilshere needs to live up to his name. They could do it today, but again, maybe a 2 or 3-1 Liverpool."

_

"Oh and it is a chance for Newcastle! No!"

"What's happened, Phil?"

"Garbutt, he has paced it down the left and got a looping ball into the box. Nitcham was there and he put a toe to it but hit the post!"

-

"ITSA GOAL! NITCHAM THIS TIME. Ball is worked around the box before a shot deflects into his path, easy finish. It's 1-0 Newcastle, 20 minutes."

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-

"No way, it's another! Zidane turns his man and with his weaker foot - I think! Manages to curl the ball just around Simon Mignolet's hand. Liverpool look shocked."

-

"Half time now, ere Jeff. Liverpool have been better but Newcastle are 2-0 up. Liverpool have to come back fighting or the title is back in the hands of Jose Mourinho."

-

"Schurrle! That's more like it from Liverpool, I told ya Jeff. They had to come back fighting and they have worked that goal so well as Schurrle nicks in at the back post. They have grabbed the ball. They want this, they can win this now."

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-

"It's all over, Jeff. Unbelievable win for Newcastle United. They shouldn't have managed to hold on after that early goal, James McKenzie didn't celebrate once and Brendan Rodgers is trying to look cool and calm but he's got to be fuming. This should have been 3 points."

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Been silent reading for a few days and now I've just caught up. Great story and very well put out.
 
The Final Day

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JEFF STELLING

Welcome to what we have all been waiting for, the final day of the Premier League season and the conclusion of what has been an unbelievable season up in Scotland too as the Old Firm are swept to the side by Partick Thistle and Aberdeen.

We have a lot to be decided in England though, there is 4 teams fighting for 1 spot of safety, teams vying for a Europa League spot, West Ham United are clinging on to a Champions League spot while Liverpool and Manchester United contend with Chelsea for the Premier League title. We also must talk about the likes of Tim Sherwood, James McKenzie and Leonid Slutskiy as they hold onto their jobs.

James McKenzie's Newcastle United have had a big say in all that we have mentioned in the last 5 games, they have had Manchester City, Liverpool, Tottenham, West Ham and today Blackburn who are looking for safety. What do you think of his chances of staying on as Newcastle boss, Matt?

MATT LE TISSIER

It's going to be tough, we don't hear much from the owners there but from what we hear and see it does look like he may be out after the Blackburn game. It always seems like "his last game" is a game that they can't sack him for, it's either Manchester City or a win against Liverpool. And to be fair, look at their form since January. It's much better. He deserves a season.

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JEFF STELLING

So, our Super 6 starts with the Blackburn, Newcastle United tie. Thoughts?

PHIL THOMPSON

It has to be a Blackburn win today, but I just see Newcastle holding them. 1-1.

ROBBIE FOWLER

Newcastle United are playing for pride, their boss' job and potentially a spot at the European Championship, while Blackburn are playing for the exact same and a spot in the Premier League. 2-1 Blackburn.

MATT LE TISSIER

Blackburn, at home, they need safety. Has to be 1-0.

CHARLIE NICHOLAS


I think Newcastle will be a real thorn for Blackburn but I don't know. Close one. 2-1 Newcastle, I think Jeff.

PAUL MERSON

Hmm, 2-0 Blackburn.

ALAN McINALLY

1-1.

JEFF STELLING

And the rest of the Super 6 is as follows.

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Blackburn - Newcastle
Bournemouth - Manchester United
Wigan - West Brom
Liverpool - Leeds
West Ham - QPR
Chelsea - Arsenal


You can have your say online, on Twitter and Facebook. Let us know.

-
 
JEFF STELLING

Half time has arrived at all ten Premier League grounds, and it is looking good for Chelsea as they lead 1-0 against Arsenal but a slip up and Liverpool are waiting as they are having no problems as they welcome Leeds United. Man United are of course still drawing, and at the other side of the table it is draws all round. Blackburn are currently drawing against Newcastle United and remember that both jobs could be on the line, Huddersfield are failing to beat Aston Villa, while West Brom just grabbed an equaliser at Wigan. West Ham United and Manchester City remain neck and neck in a bid for fourth, West Ham need to start winning though or they'll miss out. Anything could happen.

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WIGAN SCORE, 2-1 v West Brom

"That's a goal, Jeff! Eden Hazard, it's 2-0. Chelsea are going to be Champions!"

WEST BROM SCORE, 2-2 v Wigan

"Pereeez! Manchester City take pole position for a run in the Champions League."

"West Brom have scored another, Jeff. They don't want to go down today!"

JEFF STELLING

Just 5 minutes to go at most grounds, West Ham need to score for Champions League football. West Brom are set to secure their safety as Blackburn draw with Newcastle United. Chelsea are just waiting for the final whistle to blow, they are about to be crowned Champions of England.

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"Oh ho, Brendan Galloway has just scored an absolute screamer for Blackburn! It's 2-1. That was almost 40 yards!"

JEFF STELLING

It's a real shame because as it stands they will still go down on Goal Difference, unless Wigan can equalise against West Brom, it's still 4-3.

JEFF STELLING

And that is time, another Premier League draws to a close and I must say what a match at the bottom of the table - Wigan and West Brom, winner would be safe and West Brom came out on top and despite Blackburn's efforts against Newcastle United they will be set for the Championship.


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May I mention, we drew with West Ham United and they have missed out on the Champions League by Goal Difference, we beat Liverpool who miss out on the title by 2 points. We also drew with Tottenham who miss out on Europe while Manchester City beat us only 4 weeks ago and they manage to sneak into the top 4.



 
"Thanks for coming in, Mr McKenzie. Flavio is waiting." the receptionist said as I entered St James' Park. I had been called in, I assumed it would be to discuss next season but at the same time the sack does loom large.

"James, take a seat. What is this!?" Flavio's voice rose as I turned a laptop towards me, it was the Sun's Gossip column that said I had applied for numerous jobs in a plea to get out the club before I was pushed out.

"Journalists from the Sun trying to make for fun reading." I said, glancing back up at Flavio. He wasn't joined by Gonalez or Anibal, two of the ones I felt I had some sort of good relationship with. Flavio was aggressive and I had become sick of them judging me on papers.

"It would make sense though wouldn't it? We said Europa League you gave us bottom half!" he shouted back at me.

"You know, this media they give you support but you are gone!" He said, hands on hip and turning his back on me.

"What?" I squealed back.

"Squad harmony, other jobs, position. You are sacked, collect your things. I'll have the secretary contact you in the morning." and Flavio left me, sat there, heart-racing and jobless.

 
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Career stats thus far.

My £40,000 per week contract at Newcastle United was saved pretty well as I spent most of the time in a B&B before making my way to a house of Fabricio Coloccini, this meant I could go on a nice trip to France, particularly Alsace where I spent 6 months of my childhood. My agent would be looking at linking me to jobs and if I was particularly interested I'd travel for the interview otherwise a video conference would do.

A few English clubs called, Championship sides Cardiff, Norwich and Watford. I wasn't overly interested though. English football exhausted me.

It was when I was up early when I got a call from an unrecognised number where I was most interested in a job. I expected a journalist or something of the sort. I put Newcastle behind me and only kept contact with a few there so it could have been someone from there, what had annoyed me was Marvin Andrews and Carl Fletcher had gotten jobs back in football because of me and they didn't back me in my sacking. Remy Cabella and a few of the younger lads kept close while Michael Bradley and Luke Garbutt received disciplinary action for commenting on my sacking, in support. It was nice, but I said I would make Europe. If a cleaner doesn't clean they wouldn't keep their job - why should I?

It was David Beattie though, the chairman of Partick Thistle. Derek McInnes had made the move to Newcastle, funnily enough.

I arrived in Glasgow later that day for the interview, with a return flight to Alsace booked for 0234. If I wasn't to get a job I would probably go to Russia for the European Championships.

Anyway, the interview went well and I was told he would be in touch. I was excited by the prospect of Champions League football with Partick Thistle. Europe is a huge thing to Scottish clubs and fans, it would be a brand new experience for them and myself.

However, 3 days had passed and while I traveled to Spain for the beaches I checked BBC Sport to see Gary Teale had taken over at Partick Thistle, and sure enough moments later I had a text from Mr Beattie, detailing why Teale was chosen.

'He is young' - I am younger!

'Experienced in Scotland' - Youth development not count? Plus he was sacked as manager of Dundee United!

Oh well, whatever. Drink and Spain will do for now.

Or not.

Kobenhavn? Denmark?
 
Well at least you went out with a really nice victory, can't wait to see where you end up next.
 
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"Welcome to Copenhagen, Mr McKenzie."


I was greeted by a suited man, a driver, as I arrived at the airport. He had my name held up and I was greeted by a few optimistic fans who didn't speak a word of English. Even the drivers' English was very tough but could speak it.

"We are happy you are here, Mr McKenzie" the driver continued as we made our way out for the black Audi. He continued to detail their second place finish last season, their heartbreak at choking their league push and the beauty of the city. All in eventually choppy English as the conversation got advanced. I arrived to meet the chairman in person, and meet the media in particular.

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So, here I was unveiled as the new manager of Danish side Kobenhavn, they had dominated the league in recent years but were without the title in 3 years, they hadn't won the cup since 2017 either. It was slowly beginning to feel like my time at Shamrock Rovers again, a 1 year deal to bring the club back into contention. Easy, right? Probably not. I knew the language when I was in Ireland. The majority of questions were asked in Danish and it all had to be translated for me, a few Brits made the trip in interest.

"Why Kobenhavn?" was the first question to be translated for me, I knew what the man had said anyway so I smiled and looked back up.

"English football exhausted me, the media, the pressure - and I understand both exists in Denmark but it isn't so intense, it's a beautiful city too. This gives me a completely new experience and I am ready to excel."

"There was reports that you were sacked due to trying to leave before the boot, what's the truth?" was the second question, the press officer was also the translator and I was at a shock he allowed the question to come through. It startled me, the questions were supposed to be about me and Kobenhavn.

"Well, yeah. No. I didn't look at other jobs, there was a gossip column that said I was wanting out and looked at the United post - something I'd never get anyway - and I walking on egg shells with the board after a row anyway to be brutally honest and it gave them a reason to push me off the edge." If the press officer is going to let stupid questions come through he can get stupid responses.

"Alright, James? Does this feel like a step down from your English football experience and how excited are you at the challenges Danish football can provide?" I looked back up at the Scottish sounding journalist, it was Bryan, I had gone to school with him and when I ruined my non-existent football career he went off to do journalism - last I heard he was working the mailroom at the Daily Record..

"Bryan f'n Thompson! Give me a call later yeah? But no, it doesn't feel like a step down. I've come into a side that provide me with very good training facilities, a good squad, a title challenge and the Europa League. I'm incredibly excited about what can be achieved here. I just want to get going, unbelievably excited."

"There's a few who have expressed surprise in your appointment, thoughts?"

"No thoughts, I mean what am I supposed to say? I've been an underdog all my life. I'm just happy to be here."

and the questions continued.


/

Meet the squad and such will come one we get to the start of the season but until then we will have usual updates along the way!​
 
NUFC made another mistake! Shouldn't of been total tosspots! Kobenhavn should provide a good challenge for yo though!
 
NUFC made another mistake! Shouldn't of been total tosspots! Kobenhavn should provide a good challenge for yo though!
Felt a Champions League challenge, had a decent side after a few moves and had players coming in + an initial budget of £35m! Could have easily done something crazy at Newcastle, oh well - struggles make the game even more enjoyable!
 
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"Alright, Marvin?"
I said, as the phone got picked up on the other end.

"Oh.. James?" Marvin Andrews replied. Obviously it was me, as he seemed nervous.

"Yeah, how's it over there? I'm probably looking to bring yourself, Carl and Richard over with me again. Are you guys free to chat terms.. " I was cut short.

"Sorry, James. I have to go. I don't think we are leaving Newcastle."

Beep.



 
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It was the day the lads all returned from their post-season break, I came in during this time so hadn't met any of them bar the captain and a few who used the facilities in order to keep fit and return from injuries. I was relatively nervous but ready as I stood waiting in the 'Games Room' which was just a common room, there was a pool table, tablets, a TV. They all filtered through as I stood with my non-playing staff on my shoulders, I hadn't made any changes after being snubbed by what I thought were "my guys". But whatever.

"Hej" I said, it was just like saying 'hi' in English so was easy enough. The faces were still blank while I almost giggled at the stupidity of my efforts.

"Okay, anyway - some of you will understand what I am saying while others won't. Thankfully our captain here, can speak both." I paused to let Thomas Delaney quickly repeat what I generally said.

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"It won't be easy but we will get this to work. I know you'll all be bitterly disappointed to have just missed out on the title last season and I am desperate we put in that extra 1% to win us that title. Let's do something this year, a Europa League run, a league win and let's make some f*cking noise. Alright? Get yourselves ready, Anders has you this morning for fitness." I was excited, the players could tell and were nodding away as I spoke and even more so when Delaney translated!

This had to be our season. I needed this to be a success after my failure to prove myself at the top level. I have European football to look forward to, a shot at a title, Newcastle was the only club I failed to deliver at - even that's questionable, I got rid of so much deadwood and brought in real talent.

Either way, Kobenhavn had to be a success.


 
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