The Alfa Romeo Metaphor

View attachment 364104Monday, 8 June 2015

Ahhhh ... Granada. I only spent a day here during Christmas 2014 so I am really enjoying spending several days here. We stayed at the Alhambra Palace Hotel. If this hotel was in any other city, it'd be too cheesy. But considering that artisans who knew how the Alhambra was built, built it. It's fabulous.

Breakfast on the balcony and drinks on the balcony at sunset are mandatory. I lack the words to describe how nice it is to watch the lights of the city come on, the city darken and the sun set over the far hills. We only skipped this routine once when we got in line early to visit the Alhambra.

There is really nothing on the planet like the Alhambra. It could just be that I'm ignorant as I haven't been to Instanbul. I walked out feeling like I was waking up from a dream.


Then there's the part of town across the valley from the Alhambra. It's medieval, steep and we had a blast exploring it. All the time with the Alhambra looming over us.
View attachment 364105
View attachment 364106And then there's the part of town at the bottom of the hill. The old Cathedral and the canal and the gypsies. Some parts are newer but mixed in with some ancient structures.

Seriously, Granada rocks.
 
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Thursday, 11 June 2015

And on to Cadiz. I think Gwen is looking forward to seeing Esteban as much as I am. I'll fly back to London on the 18th to be present while my new coachs sign their contracts. Before then we'll really slow things down and get aggressively lazy.

What does it mean to be aggressively lazy?

First, this is easier to do in a Latin country. Latin countries have siestas in the middle of the day. The day starts later, ends later.

So we ate dinner at 11pm and stayed out late talking over drinks. Sometimes we'd go dancing. We got up when we felt like it and took our time getting ready. Typically, we'd be out to wander around or have lunch when the hour approached noon. We'd have tapas in the late afternoon or early evening depending upon how you look at it.

Occasionally, Gwen would do some shopping.

The main thing is that I knew how hard I would work for the next 10 months and felt this overwhelming sense of future exhaustion. If that makes any sense. These would be my last real break until next May.

"Enrico," Esteban said one late afternoon over tapas. "You need to find some balance during the season. You risk burning out. My concern for you, my friend, is that when you get burned out you are in danger of making bad decisions."

"Hmmm," I replied. "What do you propose I do?"

"I don't know," he replied. "Visit us here more? Take a few more days off? Find a way to fairly regularly get away?"

"I hear you, my friend," I said. "I hear you."
 
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18 June 2015

Gwen is in Paris with a friend. I'm back in Kingston-Upon-Thames. I have 6 new coaches to welcome. I've revamped the Youth Academy. I felt that our youth coaching could be better.
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Here are the new coaches:

Alex will be in charge of tactics.
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Andy will be in charge of shooting training.
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Brian will be in charge of ball control training.
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Ben will assist Dave Wilson with fitness. The combination of two fitness trainers and an improved training facility, we'll be a more fit team this year.
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I have a new Assistant Manager for the U18s, Gregg.
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Anthony will be training the youth players on defense.
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Clive will be in charge of tactics training for the kids.
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Monday, 22 June 2015

"Welcome back everyone," I said. "I hope you're rested. I hope your excited about the new season. I know I am. I know the fans are. While the fans won't forget last season, we should. In football, last season doesn't mean **** unless you can do better. Last season was great, but we're playing better teams this year."

"And we're playing the MK Dons. Finishing above them would mean everything to the fans."

"I'd like to introduce our new coaches," I continued. "Ben McKenzie will be working with Dave on your fitness. He's worked at Celtic and Peterborough. This is Andy Garner. He played for Derby and Blackpool. He'll be working with you on your shooting. This is Alex Inglethorpe. He'll be coaching tactics. He started at Watford and played at Leyton Orient and Exeter, too. Finally, this is Brian Carey. He'll be working on your ball skils. He was a trainee at Man United with Paul. He went on to play for Wrexham and Leicester."

"As you all know, our new signings will be here on the first of July," I said. "In the meantime, I want you guys to work the laziness from the break out of your legs and start building your endurance. You'll have a head start on the new guys. You also have the advantage of knowing how I want you to play."

"Let's get to the bottom line," I continued. "Our goal is to avoid relegation. It's any new team's goal, right? But to aid our goal, I've added some coaches and I'm bringing in some pretty good players. I expect them to push you for your places. I'm bringing in three center backs, a central midfielder and a guy who can play either wing or as the striker."

"Anything you'd like to add, Andy?" I asked. Andy Frampton shook his head.

"Alright, let's go see how you've done on the work out regimen Dave put you on, it's baseline time!" I concluded.
 
View attachment 363243Wednesday, 24 June 2015 noonish

"Dylan, welcome to a Fan's Stadium - Kingsmeadow," said Chairman Erik Samuelson shaking his hand. "You must be Mary and you're John? Thank you so much for coming. How was training?"

They all shook hands.

"Um, I dunno, good?" Dylan mumbled.

"Speak up, son," his Mom, Mary, said nudging him.

"It's alright, Mary, I've been through this myself, it's nerve-wracking," I interjected. "I left the US for Italy when I was 18 halfway through my first year at a University. Training was good, Erik, I think. He got to watch what we do and we gave him a tour of the new stuff they're still building. Apparently, we have a bigger coaching staff than Aberyswyth."

Dylan smirked.

"Good, good," Erik said. "I'll let you give the tour, Enrico."

"It's not much, but it's ours for one more season," I said opening the door to the changing room. "You've read in the papers about our new stadium right? We bought this one from our landlords, Kingstonian, when they hit the rocks financially. We're going to sell it once we move into Plough Lane next summer. This is the changing room. Over there is the treatment room where Jon Whitney works his magic."

I opened the door to the tunnel and we all walked out onto the pitch and into the beautiful June sunshine.

"She seats about five thousand," I said. "And they're right on top of you."

"It's about the size of Aberystwyth's," Dylan remarked.

"How's it different than home?" I asked.

"There'd be a hill right over there," he replied. "How did you deal with being away from home?"

"Well," I said considering how to reply. "I, had family nearby. Outside of Bologna. I stayed with a local family in the city near the training facility. Living with a family was good for me. Don't you have an uncle in London somewhere. Am I remembering that right?"

"Yes," John replied. "But he's in Wycombe."

"That's not too far," I said. "As we've talked about, we have families who board youth players in the Academy. The decent percentage of the boys are boarding like you would be."

"The bottom line for you, Dylan, is that we behave like a family here at Wimbledon," I said. "Yes, we squabble. There are fights. Problems. All families have them. But we've got a big staff and a network to support you. We work the problems out when they pop up. I've seen you play and train and we all think you have a big future. We hope it's here at Wimbledon as we climb up the leagues."

"I, personally, think you have a shot at the big time," I continued. "A shot. Talent doesn't mean anything, though. It's all up to how hard you want to work at it. Now, because we're in League One, I can give you playing time with the first team. You're guaranteed playing team with the U18s every weekend, but you'd be our fourth striker and third left winger in the pecking order."

"Now keep in mind that we play 46 matches in the league," I said. "Then there's also the FA, League and St. Johnstone's Cups. We only have two attacking mids to play in the center and my first choice has a history of injuries. The second choice is also my second choice left winger and third place striker. Chances are you'll get some playing time."

"If you show me you're willing to work hard and you show me you listen to what we're teaching, I'll play you. Remember, for a large chunk of last season my central midfield tandem were teens. Clear?"

Dylan nodded then looked at his parents. They both smiled.

"Alright," I said. "Let's head into the club offices. Erik has drawn up an offer we'd like to present to you."

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Don's Cup semi-final: AFC Wimbledon v. Charlton Athletic

View attachment 363241With none of my new signings with the club, yet, the players who already had contracts for the year, supplemented by some kids from the youth side as subs, took on Charlton. We did a lot of running around and only a few of the adults lasted past 60 minutes. Quite a few were gassed by halftime.

Regardless, after four days of training I wasn't expecting much. We kept the ball pretty well, but could never generate much of any threat.

The bottom line is nobody got hurt.
 
Don's Cup Third Place: AFC Wimbledon v. Burnley FC

View attachment 363240Burnley lost to Crystal Palace in Friday's early match, so we face them for the third place in the Don's Cup. I put out the most fit XI I had. Everyone got to play a half. A few looked utterly exhausted after a mere 45 minutes of jogging around the park on a breezy, warm evening. This is the best and only way to work the kinks out and build up fitness.

Not only did I give the squad a pair of real work-outs, I got over 9,000 people through the turnstiles for 4 matches in June. At 7 pounds sterling a pop, that's 60+K in the club's accounts. Plus, a good number of them bought the new shirts. Every pound sterling counts when you're a small club like us.

Charlton beat Crystal Palace 1-0 to claim the Don's Cup.
 
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Wednesday, 1 July 2015 9AM

"Hey, I can see that everyone found there lockers alright," I said as I walked into the locker room at King's College New Malden.

"Gaffer, why you put me next to Lovers again this year?" Cameron Dummigan complained. "I told you in the end-of-season interviews that his feet stink. Why?"

"Lovers stinks," sang Michael Smith badly. "Yeah Yeah."

James Loveridge hosed them both down with a water bottle.

"Children, don't make me come over there and separate you," I exclaimed.

"Alright alright calm down, I'd like to welcome and introduce some new faces," I continued pointing at the new players. "Andrea Sbraga over there between Matteo and Leandro. We'll get him in English classes soon. Everybody wave. You all are familiar with Martin Riley, formerly of Mansfield, glad we don't have to play against you again. Jason Banton comes to us from Crystal Palace though you may recall him tormenting us when he was on loan at Burton Albion last season. Manny Smith, formerly of York, glad you're here cuz I never wanna play against you again. Mark Byrne, formerly of Barnet. And last but not least, Dylan Griffiths on the other side of Lovers."

"Guys meet everybody, everybody meet the new guys," I said.

"I'm not much for speeches, but I feel obligated to say a little," I continued. "We have a two-part mission this season. The first part is to stay out of relegation trouble. The second part is to stay above MK Dons. Simple, clear mission. We have climbed six divisions to get into a position where we can play this club's arch nemesis. It will mean everything to these fans, your bosses may I remind you, that we beat them when we face them and finish above them."

"That's all I got," I concluded. "Let's get out there and get stretched out."
 
View attachment 363237Friday, 3 July 2015 1pm

"Thanks, everybody for coming down to Kingsmeadow," I said. "We'll get started once Colin Massey leaves the room. Yes, Colin, I was serious. No. Please leave or there won't be a press conference. I think Erik made it quite clear to your bosses that the BBC was to send someone else and that you are not welcome here."

"Okay, is it Dean?" I said pointing at the Guardian reporter once Massey was out of the room.

"You've been busy in the transfer market this summer again," Dean Kelly said. "Are you gutting the squad and rebuilding again?"

"Not at all," I said. "Only six first team players. It signed twelve last year during the summer, fourteen overall. This year, I'm filling needs so that we can compete in League One."

"What effect will these six have on the squad?" Robbie Williams of Sky Sports asked.

"Should be a huge lift," I replied. "Quality at all the positions."

"And you only paid fees for two of the youth players you signed," Williams asked in follow-up. "Please comment."

"My scouts began working in January to identify players who might be available on frees," I replied. "All credit to Lil Fuccillo, Paul Lowe and Andy Walker. We have a set transfer budget. Since the players I wanted were available for free, we've just shifted that into player salaries so we could bring them in."

"Would you say Dylan Griffiths is a move for your future or do you expect him to have an impact this season?" Simon Harrison of ESPN asked.

"The League One season is long," I replied. "He'll play some but he's sixteen and we'll be careful. With that said, you know what I did last season."

"Follow up, please?" Simon asked. I nodded. "What do you expect out of the likes of Daniel Barlaser, Mark Tomlinson, Cameron Dummigan, Jim Fenlon and James Loveridge?"

"Well, they've experienced a full campaign now," I replied. "They've shown their mettle. But I tell you they still don't know what they're capable of, yet."

"Sammie Bates, Football Three Sixty Five. Three new central defenders sit next to you, what about your Captain, Andy Frampton, your Vice Captain, Reuben Hazell, and Kris Thackray?"

"Andrea Sbraga comes highly recommended as the kind of defender you hate to play against," I began. "His team last year, Crotone, won the C1B and had the lowest goal's against. I don't understand why Lazio didn't keep him. Martin Riley and Manny Smith were both painful and difficult to play against. They were on the short list of guys we were watching. I'm just grateful they were available and we don't have to play against them again."

"Andrea doesn't speak any English," observed Dean Kelly of the Guardian. "Comment, please?"

"I speak Italian," I replied. "So does Nole and Depetris. Like Nole, he'll get an English tutor. No problem."

"Will these new signings be available for today and tomorrow's friendlies?" Simon asked.

"Yup, they will."

"Sbraga and Jason Banton are quite the coups for a club of Wimbledon's stature, wouldn't you agree?" Robbie asked. "Banton has been linked with a number of Championship clubs as well as Premier League clubs Norwich, Leicester and Fulham."

"My mission is to bring young, talented players here," I replied. "We've got a new stadium coming. We keep winning promotions. We're making improvements to our training facilities we rent from King's College New Malden. We're the feel-good story of English football. We're in London. Who wouldn't want to come here and be part of something special."

"Maybe Jason wants to chime in?" I asked.

"Sure, boss," Jason said. "Several of the clubs I was talking to are bigger. But I'm a London lad so I'd rather not, well, let's just say I like London. I don't want to play in the reserves and get occasional playing time. Plus, this is Wimbledon. Everyone knows the Crazy Gang. It seems to me Erik and Enrico are doing the same thing Wimbledon FC did in the eighties."

"Enrico, you mentioned you moved your transfer budget over to cover salaries," Simon said. "So is your transfer coffer empty now? Any more business this summer?"

"No, probably no more business, I have the squad I want now," I said.

"Up until now, you've had a policy of not paying agent fees," Dean said. "Yet you paid a fee to Andrea Sbraga's agent. Has there been a change in policy?"

"Yes," I replied. "We are now at the stage where we can attract some top talent. If we can continue our quest and win more promotions, we are going to need to adapt so we can compete. We will have significantly higher gate revenues once we move into our new Plough Lane stadium. If we continue to grow, we can expand it from 11K to 20K. With this kind of income, we could attract the creme della creme as you might say. The top players have agents to take care of their contracts. I get that. I had an agent back when I played who made sure I got a good deal that was fair to me and to Bologna."

"However," I continued. "We won't be held hostage by agents intent on making money by unsettling their clients so that they are constantly moving. Or demanding a new contract for their client every time he plays well. Agents only make money when their clients sign new contracts. They often get percentages of transfer fees. Considering the reality in which we operate, we will be paying agent fees for new signings. There is a cap to what we are willing to pay that we state up front to agents we deal with. We will continue to not pay agent fees to re-sign players. We'll revisit this policy each spring."

"Wow, that bored nearly everyone, you're all busy writing," I joked. "Any more questions?"
 
Don's Challenge Semi-Final: AFC Wimbledon v. SK Sturm Graz

View attachment 363170The Austrian city of Graz is located in the eastern end of the country, south by southwest of Vienna near the border with Slovenia. It's Austria's second largest city. They have the second largest fan base of Austrian teams behind Rapid Vienna. Despite their popularity and large fan base, they are not the second most successful and trophy-laden team in Austria.

This will be the first look I get of some of my new players. Andrea is behind Manny and Martin in terms of fitness, so he starts. I forgot to mention that Leandro Depetris twisted his knee yesterday and will be out a few days.

I'm really liking how we play in the 4231, so that's our formation today.

GK: Daniel Lincoln
D: Cameron Dummigan, Martin Riley, Manny Smith, Jim Fenlon
CMs: Mark Tomlinson, Daniel Barlaser
AMs: George Francomb (R), Jason Banton (C), Matteo Nole (L)
F: James Loveridge

Martin and Manny faded in the second half, so Andy Frampton and Reuben Hazell replaced them. Martin was nearly hog-tied by a Graz defender to earn the first penalty and Andy lost a wrestling match to earn the second.

Haz was as cool as a cucumber when he found himself free at the near post on a corner and side-footed the ball into the net for our third.

All of our goals came from corners. I'm pleased with that as I've tweaked our corners slightly. Now that we have some tall center backs, we play our corners to the near post. The left-sided center back makes a near post run to flick the ball on, the right-sided back attacks the near post. The striker attacks the far post. The right back marks the keeper. The attacking mids are free to take up whatever position they like.

George Francomb takes the left corners and Leandro takes the right-sided ones. This way we get in-swinging corners. They are each others back-ups if either are out of the match. Jason Banton is the third-string corner taker.

The right-sided central midfielder, usually, Mark Tomlinson, stays back as does the left back. The left-sided central mid, usually, Daniel Barlaser, lurks outside the box. Danny Boy can hit the long shot.
 
Don's Challenge Final: AFC Wimbledon v. FC Red Bull Salzburg

View attachment 363169Salzburg beat Club Brugge 2-0 in a rather scrappy late match yesterday. Brugge committed a lot of fouls and even got a man sent off.

I sent out a veteran back four and midfield with teens supporting Michael up front.

GK: Chris Dunn
D: Brad Smith, Andy Frampton, Andrea Sbraga, Kris Thackray (LB)
M: Stephen Gregory, Mark Byrne
AM: Dyson Joseph (R), Darren Robertson (C), Dylan Griffiths (L)
F: Michael Smith

We defended well and Dunn made several nice saves when we broke down. We kept the ball pretty well considering my attacking mids were all 16 year's old, but they didn't create much of anything for Michael.

And it's always good to get some penalty shoot-out practice in the pre-season.

Financially, the Don's Challenge Cup was good for us. 80K in the accounts. I'm now projecting a balance of 1.8M at the end of the season.

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Happy Independence Day

Gwen arrived back from Paris today. I picked her up from her parent's house and we went out for dinner. Afterwards, we were walking back to my car when I noticed someone leaning against it. As we got closer, I could see from the street light that it was Mr. Ali G Impersonator. I pulled out my phone and turned on the recording device.

"Ooz this, Mr. Big Time?" he asked. "Gotcherself a bird then? My but she's a pretty one."

"Get the **** off my car," I replied. I instinctively stepped in front of Gwen.

"Where've youz been all summer?" he asked. "Obnobbing wif da richy rich in Monaco? French Riviera?"

"None of your ****ing business, get off my ****ing car," I said.

"When youz should be at 'ome, saving your pound sterling an all that so youz can repay your debts, youz flyin' all overs, stayin' in expensive hotels, dining at va fivez stars restaurants ..."

"Oh just shut the **** up already and get to the threatening me part you inconsequential pimple on a fly's ***," I fumed. "But before you get to the threatening me part and then the shut the **** up part, get the **** off of my ****ing car."

"So we'z can't have a polite conversation, then, huh?"

"Did you just figure that out now? Swede Jebus but your a ****ing certified genius. Did you study at Cambridge?"

"Watch youz mouf, Mr. Big Time," he said and took a step towards us. "Youz shou'nt be talking da trash loik dis in fronta 'er. Youz owez us one hundred kay in Euros and we expectin' youz to pay youz debts, ya feel me? But nowat we knows about your li'l bird, here ..."

He pulled a switchblade out of his pocket and began cleaning his fingernails with it while he talked.

"It would be 'orrible if sumpin' were to 'appen to her, you catch my vibe, Mr. Big Time?"

"Now that's better," I replied. "Now you've gotten to the threatening part. You've gotten off my car. Now you can get to the shut the **** up part and get the **** out of here part. You feel me Mister Dumber Than a Bag of Hammers?"

"Oil be feeling your guts with moi knife, if youz doesn't watch youz mouf," he said.

We stared at each other for a moment.

"Appy fourf of July, mother****er," he said then turned around and walked off.
 
Ohhhh spicy this is such a good read just wish it was updated more KIU
 
Dobbi said:
Ohhhh spicy this is such a good read just wish it was updated more KIU
Click to expand...

Thanks, Dobbi. I'm off work this coming week (staycation) and WC14 is nearly over so maybe my pace will increase.
 
Sunday, 5 July 2015 2pm

"Yes, Inspector, I realize that," I replied sheepishly. "He just really irritates me, I felt threatened and I can't help myself."

Inspector Jameson had just handed me my mobile back after downloading the recording from last night.

"What I don't understand is why they haven't gotten around to making specific demands with specific times and places," Jameson said. He apparently thought he'd made his point to me about how sassing the gangster wasn't a good idea and decided to change the subject.

"I haven't exactly been agreeable," I said. "I just get the feeling that Mister Ali G Impersonator expects the conversations to go differently."

"Well, I expect they will soon," he said.

"Or maybe they figured out how much we lower league managers get paid," I added. "And what a bad deal buying my debt from my ex-in-laws was."

Jameson just looked at me.

"But you're sure they won't give up," I continued. "Aren't you."
 
Friendly: AFC Wimbledon v. Cardiff City FC

View attachment 362387Our fitness is coming around pretty quickly. The second trainer, Ben Mackenzie, is really making a difference. I sent out my most fit XI to face Premiership side Cardiff City.

GK: Daniel Lincoln
D: Cameron Dummigan, Martin Riley, Manny Smith, Jim Fenlon
CM: Mark Tomlinson, Daniel Barlaser
AM: George Francomb (R), Jason Banton (C), Matteo Nole (L)
F: Michael Smith

We didn't produce much of any offense, but our defense got a good work-out and kept a clean sheet.

The pundits agree; Wimbledon are going back down. **** them. They were wrong last year and they'll be wrong this year. I don't know about winning the league in our first season in it, but ... crazier **** has happened.

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Wimbledon Cup Semi-Final: AFC Wimbledon v. Manchester City FC

View attachment 362379The camera crews arrived and started setting up at 9am. The Arsenal and Tottenham buses arrived at 2pm. As per usual for the big sides, fans were already waiting when they arrived.

Arsenal beat Tottenham 2-0 in front of a sold-out Kingsmeadow. Santi Cazorla and Sofiane Feghouli scored. I'm drooling in anticipation of how much we pull in from the gate and from the TV revenue from this little Cup competition.

GK: Chris Dunn
D: Brad Smith, Andrea Sbraga, Manny Smith, Kris Thackray
CM: Steven Gregory, Mark Byrne
AM: George Francomb, Jason Banton, Dylan Griffiths
F: James Loveridge

Leandro Depetris was available to come off the bench, but Jon Whitney said his limit is 20 minutes. Thacks was the left back.

The Sky Blues spanked us pretty bad. I was feeling pretty good that we'd kept them at bay for the first fifteen minutes, but they just hadn't started playing yet. I felt like the mouse that the cat played with.

But we started pushing forward in the last fifteen minutes and rewarded the fans with a nicely worked goal against the Champions. The crowd cheered like we'd won.

The City players were generous enough to stick around for autographs and selfies.
 
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