The Alfa Romeo Metaphor

View attachment 366509I already let you know that Bolton won League One. Brentford got the other automatic promotion spot.

Millwall v. Sheffield United and Doncaster v. Stevenage will play-off for the final promotion spot.

But check out the bottom of the table. MK Dons managed to stay up with two late wins. This means we get to face them twice next season.

This will add quite a nice sub-plot to the season as Wombles will desperately want to not only beat them twice but finish above them in the table.

View attachment 366510Ipswitch Town, Preston North End and Blackpool join us in League One. They'll be huge challenges for us. Portsmouth, Tranmere and Bradford. Three of the four out of Millwall, Doncaster, Stevenage and Sheffield United will be gunning for promotion next season, too.
 
FA Cup Final: Leeds v. Arsenal

View attachment 366470Gwen and I went for sushi in the city center then took the tube to Wembley. Unfortunately, the biggest game of the year in England was graced with rain. Thankfully, our seats are pretty far back and the roof kept us dry. I shake hands with a number of other managers against whom I've gone up against on the way in. We sat next to Chairman Erik Samuelson and his wife. On my left is a fan, Adnan, who won a raffle. Adnan brought his wife Poosha.

Bizarrely, Wenger kept Mertesacker, Ozil, Podolski, Walcott and Giroud on the bench. Arteta is injured and Aaron Ramsey is suspended so 18 year old Renny Smith makes his professional debut as the defensive midfielder. No pressure.

Aside from Bendtner up top, the Gooners have a pretty strong line-up. Pjanic and Wilshire in the middle is pretty intimidating. Or at least should be on paper.

But Leeds work hard to deny Arsenal time and space. Luke Murphy and Rodolph Austin have great games in the center of the park. Half time rolls up and Arsenal can't get their game going. I'm not impressed with Renny Smith.

"Mark Tomlinson is better than him," I tell Erik and Adnan.

It just gets worse in the second half. Leeds even start getting chances. Wenger brings on Ozil, Giroud and Theo Walcott. But nobody scores. We go to extra time.

In the 98th minute, Leeds are knocking the ball around in Arsenal's right defensive corner. Luis Alberto whips in a cross. Vermaelen and Koscielny have forgotten about the Leeds striker behind them. There are five Gooners marking a near post run by Leed's Paul Green. Carl Jenkinson is nowhere near Steve Morison who side-foots a pass into the net.

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Arsenal are pressing and seconds before the first half of extra time ends, Luis Alberto, who is up where Morison normally is, sends a ball down the Leeds left to Jack Grealish. Grealish cuts the corner and beats an exhausted Carl Jenkinson and sends a pass back toward the six yard box.

Luis Alberto smashes off Muslera and into the net.

2-0

Leeds have pulled off an improbable FA Cup victory over Arsenal. This is one for the record books.
 
View attachment 366462This week is all about end-of-season interviews for the returning players. So I start off Monday morning talking to Mark Tomlinson.

"Have a seat, Mark," I said. "I know you've never done one of these before, but I just want to talk about this season and talk about next season, too. First off, congratulations on the call-up to the U19s. You deserve it. You've had a great season and obviously caught some people's eye."

"Thanks, boss," Mark replied.

"You've improved by leaps and bounds this season," I continued. "When Gregs and Peps stumbled in the holding and play-maker roles, you and Danny stepped right in and led the team."

"You keep saying in the media that you aren't concerned about the cards, but are you?" Mark asked.

View attachment 366461"That's something we'll work on next year," I said. "There's an art to controlled aggression. You'll notice I never told you to back off, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so," he said.

"I want you to hit the gym hard this summer," I said. "I want you back stronger. Talk to Dave Wilson, he already has a weight-lifting schedule laid out for you."

"Okay."

"Any further thoughts about coming out of the closet?" I asked.

"I talked to Andy and Haz soon after we talked last fall," Mark replied. "They were worried about the abuse I'd get once this becomes public. They both said they thought I should be older, that I should give it a few years."

"That sounds like good advice," I said. "Always remember that if there's anything I can do to support you, let me know."

NOTE: top: end of season, bottom: preseason
 
Daniel "Danny Boy" Barlaser, preseason
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Post-season
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Daniel also had a great season. He plays like he's a veteran. When you look at his low tactical scores, but then watch him play, it's like he's a different player on the pitch than on paper. He scored 8 goals and had 6 assists. That's phenomenal for a teenager. He'll be great next year as either a central midfielder or right winger.
 
James Loveridge, preseason
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Post-season
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Lovers scored 18 goals and had 6 assists. He improved in nearly every aspect of his game. We worked with him all season on his finishing and he learned how to place his shots. I was hoping he makes it up to 12 on his finishing. Hopefully, he does that early next season.
 
Kris Thackray, preaseason
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Postseason
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Thacks started out strong for us, but faded. His defending in the second half of the season was so bad I paired the snail-paced Reuben Hazell with the turtle-like Andy Frampton. Because Thacks regressed instead of improved, I'll keep him around for a back-up but if I can move him, I will.
 
Michael Smith, preseason
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Postseason
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Michael did everything we needed him to do. At 6'4", he's a beast to stop. He held up the ball well and had 8 assists. But the bottom line is he bagged 20 goals. While I'll need to add another striker for next season, I expect Michael to produce in League One, too.
 
My Italian Connections

Matteo Nole is fabulous out on the left flank. He led the team in assists with 13. Unfortunately, get him in front of goal and that's a problem. He scored no goals despite many, many good opportunities.
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Leandro Depetris is an Argentine, but he's been playing in Italy for many years. He was a risk because of his injury-riddled history, but was a fabulous addition. His 7 goals and 4 assists in 19 starts and ten substitution appearances was crucial. I knew that Danny Boy would fade in the second half and Leandro stepped in. I'll have to not overplay him as, but with careful monitoring, I think I can avoid any serious injuries. He'll play in the central attacking midfield in the 4231 formation next season.
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Wednesday, 13 May 2015 7:30pm

I roared up to the League Manager Association Awards, got out of the Alpha Romeo and handed my keys to the valet. Then I opened the passenger door. As Gwen grabbed my hand and climbed up and out, the paparazzi bulbs flashing nearly gave me a seizure. I'd never been to an awards banquet and wanted my first to be a real splash.

With Gwen on my arm we strolled into the banquet hall. She turned a whole heck of a lot of heads. Unlike the ads in the Tube stations, she wasn't scantily clad. But her dress was candy apple red and shiny. She's also tall and when she wears 5" heels, she's as tall as I am. Alright, I'll admit that her heels aren't 5", but they're awfully high and says a lot about her agility and balance. And it's true that she's my height in the big heels.

I was in the running for the prestigious Manager of the Year Award. My competitors for the award were Lee Clark who guided Reading in a runaway Championship title campaign and Steven Davis who led Bolton to the League One title. Surprisingly, there were no Premier League managers up for it.

I was at a table with Chairman Erik and his wife. One day soon I'm going to remember her ****ing name. Someday. Our other tablemates were Rotherham's manager Gary Rowett and his wife and Rotherham's Chairman Tony Stewart and his wife. Burton Albion's manager Paul Sturrock was at the table next to us. We three were up for the League Two Award.

Roy Hodgson, still in charge of England after winning the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, rambled around for twenty minutes then the food came out. The thing about banquet food is it always sucks. The chicken was dry like sawdust and the roast veggies were limp and nearly flavorless. The mash was mash. Freeze dried then rehydrated then heated for a week or two. Thankfully, the waiters kept the wine coming.

"Thank you all for coming to the League Managers Association Annual Banquet and Awards," said some guy from the LMA, probably the top administrator. "Let's get right to it, eh?"

After Hodgson, that got a round of applause.

"We begin in the Sky Bet League Two," he continued. "Rotherham United made a late charge up the table to secure automatic promotion. Gary Rowett's side were sitting 11th in late January before he turned it all around and led a charge which included a nine game winning streak."

There was applause and Paul got several pats on the back. He had one of those forced smiles on his face.

"Burton Albion scored more than anyone else in the league and did so in style," the guy continued. Paul Sturrock visibly sighed and slumped. Everyone nearby patted him on the back. I glanced over at Gary. He winked at me. "Paul Sturrock led a swashbuckling squad that gave no quarter and took no prisoners."

"But the Sky Bet League Two Manager of the Year Award goes to Enrico Pucci," he said. Everyone stood up near me and applauded. I smiled and waved.

"You're supposed to go up there and get the award," Erik whispered in my ear.

Oh. So that's how it works.

The guy talked about AFC Wimbledon and our season while I dodged through the tables to get to the stage stairs.

"Uh, thanks," I said, my voice booming back at me. "I, uh, couldn't have done it without, uh, my awesome Chairman, Erik Samuelson. Awesome, uh, staff and coaches at the club and, um, without, um, without my guys. We were supposed to be in a relegation fight. But, um, we really came together, huh?"

Then I walked off the stage.

"Fkn A but I sounded like an idiot up there didn't I?" I pronounced as sat down at my table. Everybody including Gary disagreed but Gary was laughing.

"These banquets are ****ing 'orrible, aren't they?" he laughed. "A toast to Enrico and his speech! Bottom's up!"

I didn't have to give another speech, thankfully. Lee Clark won the big one. But, hey, one award is enough, right?
 
The next morning, Gwen and I caught the first flight to Florence. On the plane ride, I told her the story of the Duomo and how the city fathers held a contest for someone to build the dome over the cathedral. The only problem was nobody knew how to do something like that. Brunelleschi won the award and figured it out as he went. In an age when hundreds died building cathedrals, there was only one death during the construction of the Duomo.

I remember the first time I saw it. It took my breathe away. It had the same effect on Gwen.
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We'll be staying in Florence for a few days. I have the formalities of negotiating contracts with my coaching staff to work through plus I have set a goal of watching vids of three players my scouts have recommended per day.

I need three central defenders, a central midfielder and a clone of Leandro. For winger, I either need a winger who can play with both feet or two wingers. I also need another striker. If this striker can also play left wing, then I need one less winger.

And I also have to relax.

This means sight-seeing, massages, eating great food and taking lots of naps.

The players are back for pre-season on June 22nd. That's sooner than you think.
 
View attachment 365575Friday, 14 May 2015 10am-ish

"Buenos dias," Esteban answered the phone.

"Esteban, my friend, how the **** are you?" I said.

"Enrico? Mary Mother of God, it's you!"

"Yes, I'm calling to congratulate you on winning El Segundo B4. I've been meaning to call but life's been a wee bit crazy lately."

"Thank you, but winning the league doesn't mean ****," he replied. "We still have the infernal play-offs. They start the weekend after next."

"That's right," I said. "I think I've intentionally blocked out some of the details of my time in Spain. Like someone would try to forget an Organic Chemistry class or something."

"And I must congratulate you on winning the league, also," Esteban said. "So nice and clean in England. Win the league; get promoted."

"Thanks. Guess where I'm calling from?"

"How the **** am I supposed to even answer that?"

"Florence. We've just been through the Uffizi."

"Ahh, back to Italia, eh? Nice. Will you bring the lovely Gwen to us again?"

"That's one of the reasons I'm calling."

I'll spare you the details of our summer vacation discussion.
 
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