The Joke Thread

I didn't realise the likes are limited.

Didn't mean to sound "patronizing" in the last post :)
 
Breaking News - Wayne Rooney on his way to Liverpool FC. Heard Roy Hodgson saying "Wayne's coming". I didn't hear any more cos it started pouring down and I had to run”
 
Yeah and even if Paul predicted its own death, how would he let everyone know? There were no death or life boxes to sit on.
 
Local chicken farmer is hiring staff for Christmas, £9.50 per hour. I told them about your experience handling *****. You start Monday!


diplj said:
Yeah and even if Paul predicted its own death, how would he let everyone know? There were no death or life boxes to sit on.
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I'll get your coat for you.
 
Father Patrick taught me how to wank today, he said in a few years I could also do it to myself.
 
Got sent this before the weekend unfortunately.

At Liverpool airport the inscription on John Lennon's statue reads. "Above us only sky." Someone has apparently written next to it, "Below us only West Ham!".
 
Paul the Octopus is not dead after all, was just worried the sea-life centre lacked ambition, but has now signed a lucrative 5 year contract.
 
i cant believe i just sat here and read EVERY single joke on this topic yet i have noneof my own to offer :OXD
 
Paul the psychic octopus has died?

Big deal, he isn't the first thing to die in a tank in Germany.

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All these jokes about Paul the octopus are getting a bit predictable.

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If one drop of ***** contains more life than a drop of blood, why doesn't Dracula suck ****?
 
If a woman falls over in the kitchen, and nobody hears it.. who's going to make my dinner?
 
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