The Joke Thread

[connocfc67]

walter smith and neil lennon walk into a brothel and walter asks how much for a wank the owner replies 20 quid neil lennon replies how much if ur not a wank.

 

[mrjack41]

Osama Bin Laden - Coming to a Beach near you

 

[philly]

What do Kate Middleton and Osama bin Laden have in common?

Last Sunday they both had their back doors smashed in and were shot in the face by a man from the navy.

 

[luke797]

Alex Ferguson thought it was time for some team bonding, He decided on a game of hide & go seek .
He told Rooney to close his eyes and count to 10. All the other players ran away and took up their hiding places.
After 10 minutes still no Wayne, Sir Alex decides to find out what's happened to him,
He finds Wayne in the changing room with his eyes still closed.
"What's the problem Wazza" asks Sir Alex.
"I can't see my fingers boss" came the sobbing reply.

 

[fuelledbypassion]

10 tyrannous years.
10 years living in fear.
10 years in hiding, and on the 2nd May 2011 Osama Bin Laden was finally hunted down and killed.

It's amazing what we can get done when the Playstation Network goes down!

 

[Mike]

Wouldn't it be ironic if Antonio Valencia played for Valencia, David Villa played for Villa and Danny Shittu played for Spurs?

 

[Vanjagl]

Wouldn't it be ironic if Antonio Valencia played for Valencia, David Villa played for Villa and Danny Shittu played for Spurs?

Let me guess, Arsenal fan ?
ps, nice joke

---------- Post added at 12:06 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:06 AM ----------

Ratko Mladic, new Hide 'n Seek world champion.

 

[raul93-fan]

Schalke 04


Neuer
Escudero
Howedes
Papadopoulos
Metzelder
Uchida
Baumjohann
Jurado
Draxler
Raul
Farfan

The only joke here is the poster!

 

[Shay Given]

I just heard someone pickpocketed my friend, a dwarf and i ask myself how would anyone stoop so low??

 

[Raikan007]

Arsene Wenger

 

[Platinum]

The only joke here is the poster!

The poster? :S

 

[Redrup]

The poster? :S

Poster = Person who posts on a forum.

In this case, you.

 

[Platinum]

Poster = Person who posts on a forum.

In this case, you.

Yeah I know that but how am I funny.

 

[DMF]

Yeah I know that but how am I funny.

You're not funny. You're a joke.

Is what he is implying...

 

[Platinum]

You're not funny. You're a joke.

Is what he is implying...

Fair enough. I might be a joke but I'm still a millionaire.

 

[raul93-fan]

Fair enough. I might be a joke but I'm still a millionaire.

I was implying you're being a joke with that post

 

[Platinum]

I was implying you're being a joke with that post

Haha. Alright mate.

 

[Mike]

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One's a superhero and the other's a command.

 

[Mads2506]

Players diving.

What? It's a joke!

 

[Steven Dodds]

What do you call a Russian guy with 3 Balls?




Udunickabollockoff



What was the name of the first Pakistan person in the UK?




Amir





What do you call a Lesbian dinosour?




Likalotapuss




What do you call a gay dinosour?



Megasoreass