The Joke Thread
- Thread starter John
- Start date
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Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one
day,he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems
even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny
and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller
how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike
is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It
protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her
parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they
enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something
about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In
fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the
dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in
the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the
kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in
the
corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As
dinner
progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans
over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and
fondles her *******. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs
her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her
right
there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and
her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He
looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the
mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every
which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is
furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his
pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right,
that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!"
day,he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it. The bike seems
even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny
and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller
how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike
is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It
protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her
parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they
enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something
about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In
fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the
dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in
the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the
kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in
the
corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As
dinner
progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans
over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and
fondles her *******. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs
her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her
right
there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and
her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He
looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the
mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every
which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is
furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his
pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right,
that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!"
H
HoneyMonster
Guest
That was quite good made me chuckle. lol
Paddy and Mick are in Paddy's attic looking through some old stuff when Mick comes across a mirror and looking bemuzed says 'Im sure i have seen this ugly ***** before' Paddy takes the mirror from him looks at it and says 'Thats me you daft ****'
PC gone mad.....