The Joke Thread
- Thread starter John
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This guy quotes Lester Burnham from American Beauty! He pwns.
A joke that the Scots should like, as well as myself 
Drinking Alcohol in Saudi Arabia
An Englishman, Scotsman and Welshman were working away in Saudi. One day they were all having a sneaky tipple of alcohol in a country where it is strictly prohibited.
Wouldn't you know they got caught and were immediately sentenced to 20 lashes of the whip each by the Sheikh to be given the following day.
The Sheikh went home and told his wives of his good days work. The wives was not impressed as he should show some mercy, she said that if he ever wanted nookie from his 20 wives he should offer them 1 wish each (but wishing not to have the lashes is not allowed! ). The Sheikh agreed.
The next day was punishment day. First up was the Scotsman. His 1 wish was to have a pillow tied to his back. So after 10 lashes the pillow broke and he received 10 lashes on his back.
Next up was the Englishman. He thought I am smarter than that Scot, I will wish for 2 pillows tied to my back. But the pillows only lasted 15 lashes and the last 5 went through.
Finally up steps the Welshmen, now the Sheikh said as the Welsh are noble, honourable and respectful people just like the Saudi's he would offer him 2 wishes. He thought for a second and his 1st wish asked for 100 lashes. The Sheikh praised him on his bravery and gave him his utmost respect. He then said what is your second wish.
.
.
.
.
.
He said, Tie that cocky English **** to my back.
Drinking Alcohol in Saudi Arabia
An Englishman, Scotsman and Welshman were working away in Saudi. One day they were all having a sneaky tipple of alcohol in a country where it is strictly prohibited.
Wouldn't you know they got caught and were immediately sentenced to 20 lashes of the whip each by the Sheikh to be given the following day.
The Sheikh went home and told his wives of his good days work. The wives was not impressed as he should show some mercy, she said that if he ever wanted nookie from his 20 wives he should offer them 1 wish each (but wishing not to have the lashes is not allowed!
). The Sheikh agreed.The next day was punishment day. First up was the Scotsman. His 1 wish was to have a pillow tied to his back. So after 10 lashes the pillow broke and he received 10 lashes on his back.
Next up was the Englishman. He thought I am smarter than that Scot, I will wish for 2 pillows tied to my back. But the pillows only lasted 15 lashes and the last 5 went through.
Finally up steps the Welshmen, now the Sheikh said as the Welsh are noble, honourable and respectful people just like the Saudi's he would offer him 2 wishes. He thought for a second and his 1st wish asked for 100 lashes. The Sheikh praised him on his bravery and gave him his utmost respect. He then said what is your second wish.
.
.
.
.
.
He said, Tie that cocky English **** to my back.
