The Joke Thread
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Shay Given
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I hear Craig Whyte is looking to re-name Ibrox 'Iceland' due to the amount of frozen assets they now have.......
S
Sam
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In school, we had an assembly on bullying. The teacher spoke about a young gay boy, being bullied because of his sexuality.
She spoke in length about his life, and the verbal abuse he suffers. She then asked a question, 'How do you think he takes it?'
Apparently, 'Up the ****!' wasn't a suitable answer
She spoke in length about his life, and the verbal abuse he suffers. She then asked a question, 'How do you think he takes it?'
Apparently, 'Up the ****!' wasn't a suitable answer
L
lynchyyyy
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Last week Evra accused Suarez of racism,this week the whole United team have accused Man City of rape!
Due to the eviction from dale farm the travellers have been offered an alternative site outside Anfield..furious at the thought of dirty, thieving, in-bred, semi literate animals living on their doorstep..the travellers have turned it down
Is that revenge for the Moyes taunts?
Hurts doesn't it (6) lol
Sky Sports have just announced that from next season onwards Man Utd will be the only English team shown on sky sports 1 and 2 . Liverpool games will be shown on the history channel chelsea on the african movie channel city on the shopping channel and Arsenal live on cartoon network!
The police rescued a small lad from his parents who beat him constantly. He was placed with an aunt, who sadly beat him too. Then he went to a foster home, where again he was beaten.He has now been placed with the England football team who, as we know, cannot beat anyone.
Man United have signed a new striker from Nigeria. On his first day of training, Fergie picked up the ball and said 'BALL' then pointed at the goal and said 'Goal. Then he demonstrated a kicking motion and said 'Kick' understand, 'Kick ball, goal, GOOOOOAAAALLL!' Eventually the young African plucks up courage to say "Excuse me Mr Ferguson but I speak very good English", to which Fergie replies ' Sit down son, I'm talking to Berbatov.'
Knorr have released a special edition black & white striped Oxo cube to celebrate the Newcastle United's Premier League season.It's called the Laughing Stock.
England players: protect yourself from Emile Heskey by disguising yourself as a goal.
Wayne Rooney - "United have won so many trophies I can't count."He's missing a full stop after trophies there.
After years of seeking for him, America has finally offered $100,000,000 for Bin Laden.Man City have subsequently offered $105,000,000
Can somebody please notify Liverpool that, along with their lack of imagination, the correct grammar is 'A field', not 'An field'. Thanks.
Wayne Rooney's gone to Dubai for his birthday.He must have been saving up for that all day.
Manchester City have just offered £40,000,000 for the balloon that has just scored for Sunderland against Liverpool.
No wonder Rooney's been scoring in training, as Capello claims. He's been playing against England's defence.
Top Tip for England's next game:If you're watching on Sky+ press pause and wait a second before pressing play. Being a second or two behind the live play will give you that authentic Emile Heskey viewpoint.
All the Man United players look pretty upset. Except Rooney. He can't count to 6. He just looks confused.
I can't stand those people who hate football but still go along to games to deliberately cause trouble and ruin them for everybody else.****** referees.
England players: protect yourself from Emile Heskey by disguising yourself as a goal.
Wayne Rooney - "United have won so many trophies I can't count."He's missing a full stop after trophies there.
After years of seeking for him, America has finally offered $100,000,000 for Bin Laden.Man City have subsequently offered $105,000,000
Can somebody please notify Liverpool that, along with their lack of imagination, the correct grammar is 'A field', not 'An field'. Thanks.
Wayne Rooney's gone to Dubai for his birthday.He must have been saving up for that all day.
Manchester City have just offered £40,000,000 for the balloon that has just scored for Sunderland against Liverpool.
No wonder Rooney's been scoring in training, as Capello claims. He's been playing against England's defence.
Top Tip for England's next game:If you're watching on Sky+ press pause and wait a second before pressing play. Being a second or two behind the live play will give you that authentic Emile Heskey viewpoint.
All the Man United players look pretty upset. Except Rooney. He can't count to 6. He just looks confused.
I can't stand those people who hate football but still go along to games to deliberately cause trouble and ruin them for everybody else.****** referees.
Only place I could think of putting this.
Manchester United fans outraged at supermarket Tesco's 6-1 Manchester City cake joke | Metro.co.uk
Manchester United fans outraged at supermarket Tesco's 6-1 Manchester City cake joke | Metro.co.uk