WelshXtreme
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steam.
The Joke Thread
- Thread starter John
- Start date
- Replies 2K
- Views 202K
I thought this was the joke thread?
It is a joke but it's a picture of a song parody's lyrics
It is very funnyJust won an innuendo competition. I had to beat off some stiff competition though.
Last edited:
Titus Shambles
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That's a good joke, mate, it made me LOL!
it's why I follow sickipedia on twitter haha
***** Jokes
why did the chicken cross the road to the restroom. ...... to meet its friends the *****
Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to the toilets.. But why did it want to go to the toilets? It's a chicken! It can pee anywhere!
Because that's where the ***** hang out!!
yeah !. that was actually the original line, i just somehow forgot it and made is vague XD
Shay Given
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****** sick of these Fatima Whitbread jokes.Thats someones son for **** sake.
Charlieadam
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Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
His father asks: "Why?"
Johnny says: "The teacher asked me 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"
Father: "But that's right!"
Johnny: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
Father reacts: "What's the **** difference?"
Johnny: "That's exactly I said!"
_______________
limo boston
transportation boston
boston car service
His father asks: "Why?"
Johnny says: "The teacher asked me 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"
Father: "But that's right!"
Johnny: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
Father reacts: "What's the **** difference?"
Johnny: "That's exactly I said!"
_______________
limo boston
transportation boston
boston car service
A Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of under-pants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything into place.
The wife stood back up, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
Buahahahaha! That's a true story!
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of under-pants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything into place.
The wife stood back up, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
Buahahahaha! That's a true story!
Death Ball
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The other day my friend woke me up late at night. He was cursing in all idioms he knew. I was scared. What could be happening for such ire?. Was he trying to intimidate a burglar?. Had some nail slipped under his sheets?. Had he seen a news report about the new Star Wars remastering?.
I saw him in front of the monitor. I had to grab him before he smashed the screen into the wall.
- What the **** are you doing? What happened?!
- I swear to God that this ****ing game is all on to get me!. It's cheating!. It's all set against the player!.
- How so?
- I am managing Chelsea. I am high in the table and... and I LOSE AGAINST THAT RUBBISH OF ARSENAL!!. And when I replay it, IT'S THE SAME RESULT ALL OVER!. It's scripted!. There's nothing you can do to change anything!. Always 3-5, always 3-5!.
That's when I told him "Jim, that's not the PC, that's the video you're playing".
I saw him in front of the monitor. I had to grab him before he smashed the screen into the wall.
- What the **** are you doing? What happened?!
- I swear to God that this ****ing game is all on to get me!. It's cheating!. It's all set against the player!.
- How so?
- I am managing Chelsea. I am high in the table and... and I LOSE AGAINST THAT RUBBISH OF ARSENAL!!. And when I replay it, IT'S THE SAME RESULT ALL OVER!. It's scripted!. There's nothing you can do to change anything!. Always 3-5, always 3-5!.
That's when I told him "Jim, that's not the PC, that's the video you're playing".
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big ******* red mark on her forehead.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big ******* red mark on her forehead.
New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15
Tub of Vaseline: £3
XL Box of Tissues: £2
The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless
++++++++++++++++++
Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids.
I won!
No one's a match for me and my kettle.
Tub of Vaseline: £3
XL Box of Tissues: £2
The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless
++++++++++++++++++
Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids.
I won!
No one's a match for me and my kettle.
I'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow.
I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels.
I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, I'm going to **** the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, I'll take a **** on the floor and **** everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink ****.
Let's see Crimewatch ******* stage a reconstruction of that.
I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels.
I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, I'm going to **** the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, I'll take a **** on the floor and **** everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink ****.
Let's see Crimewatch ******* stage a reconstruction of that.