You Know You're Obsessed With Football Manager If...


Bruce or Tadanari Lee?Hmm
Oct 2, 2009
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this is a facebook page

but I though it would be better if we started one up here.

Just post your funny suggestions and enjoy!

here are a few to start:

1) You have been at a real life match and kept a close eye on players from the opposing team that play, or have played for your team on Football Manager.

2) Instead of listening in lectures, you have discussed your end of season run in and situations which will lead to glory/failure/legendary status at your club.

3) You have signed an unknown player who goes on to be huge or touted as the next best thing, and claim you knew of his potential before everyone else.

4) You have ever been at the pub with your mates and a conversation has started about FM and you start giving each other tips on which players to buy and the wonderkids.

5) You have ever had an argument in public with another Football Manager on the merits of using different formations, styles of play and tactics depending on who, and where your team are playing.

6) When discussing your team with another person you have described all your players as world beaters, and dismissed each one of their signings as nowhere near as good as yours.

A. When playing the game and losing frequently you haven't quit because you needed to sort out the poor run of form.
B. When playing the game and winning frequently you haven't quit because you needed to continue the good run of form.

8) You have shouted 'YES!' when you've scored a 90th minute goal to equalise or go in front, or gone 'ARGH, **** OFF' when you've conceded in the 90th minute to drop points.

9) Your fat friend has played as all the good teams and decides to take control of a team like Dongguan from somewhere like Hong Kong.

10) You have arrived late somewhere because you fancied one more game of Football Manager.

11) In a bout of boredness you have proceeded to relegate your biggest rivals.

12) You take great pride in and ramble on about what you have achieved on previous games.

13) You have developed an out-of-game ritual for before you start playing such as a pre-game cup of tea as you believe this brings good luck and fortune.

14) You are genuinely annoyed at a player on the game if they get sent off, early in a game, or concede a stupid penalty.

15) You Google your latest unheard of signing "So I know what he looks like"

16) You make up chants for your players, and sing them yourself when the player scores/makes a decent tackle etc...

17) You have played with one team and the same bunch of players for so long that when you click 'assistant advice -> get team talk feedback' on the squad screen it reads 'the current players would be willing to die for each other!'

18) You have exited MSN, Facebook and closed your bedroom door when the January transfer window arrives as you need to concentrate fully and solely on preparing your team correctly for the rest of the season.

19) When ordered to go to bed by your parents you said "just one more game, please, please!"

20) You can glance at a player profile and immediately tell if he's good enough for your side.

21) You've bailed out of seeing your girlfriend because you were approaching the vital part of the season.

22) You begin to hate a team because they win EVERY time you play them, home or away.

23) You have a player who you simply can't defend against. He scores against you every season.
(Andrew Williams anyone? No, just me, okay)

24) You have looked at the manager of another club in the future and gone 'OOOOH, I remember when he was still a player on this!'

25) You begin to follow a side because you have taken them to success on Football Manager.

26) You start to believe your star regen is real.

27) When speaking about what position your real life team need to strengthen you have said, "We need someone who plays like such and such' for me on Football Manager".

28) You've ever had to screenshot something amazing on Football Manager because you simply had to show someone!

29) You watch a real life football match and wish they were 2d dots like your Football Manager team.

30) You get upset when a player you want to succeed continually plays 6s.

31) You have wondered why the Irish clubs produce so many quality youngsters.

32) You have considered drafting in your best mate to act as your assistant manager.

33) You are genuinely amused by the thought of changing your bedroom to the manager's office, the kitchen to the board room and the bathroom to the away changing rooms.

34) The distinction between the game and real life becomes blurred and you start to forget which team some players play for in the real world.

35) You hold a football manager ****, usually 16 times longer than you could hold a regular ****.

36) You play under the influence and the reverse christmas tree seems to be the formation to play...

37) You play in Holland/Germany/Belgium because you know that means no foreign restrictions. Welcome Lebanese playermaker, Saudi Arabian defensive rock and clinical striker from Burkina Faso.

38) You've developed the autism-like ability to read 60 words a second thanks to the pre-2d match engine days of full-speed text commentary.

39) You call paedophilia "working with youngsters"

40) You use football manager phrases when describing the attractiveness of a female to friends who haven't seen her.
For example you could say, "Would be a good signing for a Championship side" if she's average, "only as a last resort" if she's a munter, "has the potential to be better than Wayne Rooney" if she's a stunner...
or "the board cancelled the deal due to the player failing a medical" if she's too fat.

41) You have a particular song you listen to before every big game/cup final to get you fired up, and imagine a montage of highlights from your incredible cup run to accompany the song.

42) If your girlfriend/wife/sister/mother has finally learned that the phrase 'its only a game' or 'calm down' will only end in an argument.

43) You seem to spend all your life looking forward to June 20th.

44) You know it's okay because the linesman hasn't moved!

45) You relate Football Manager attributes to your friends.

46) 'XML parsing error! not well-formed (invald token) at line1 of last_saved_game.xml' is your greatest fear!

47) You believe that Israelis and Palestinians should give copies of football manager to their countrymen so they can swap advice on players and tactics rather than kill each other.

48) Someone asks 'Do you want to go on holiday?', and you immediately wonder why on earth you would want to leave the game in the hands of your assistant.

49) As you read these, you had Football Manager open in another window throughout.
You hold a press conference with yourself after each game which amuses greatly the other half
I sign a player just because he is not English and hope he will be good

I keep my best player on the pitch wether he plays terribly or not
"has the potential to be better than Wayne Rooney" if she's a stunner

Being more attractive than Wazza is like being shorter than Nikola Zigic: not only expected, but desired.
25) You begin to follow a side because you have taken them to success on Football Manager.

I actually did this.
I used to always play as Parma on CM3 (98-99) and have done so on every SI game since.
Iv even gone so far as to travel to Italy to see them play.
Guess this makes me an addict. (H)
You know you're obsessed with Football Manager if...

You blow your load whilst masturating over the front cover of the game.

We all do that right?
Telling your mates about your current save, even though you know that they don't care..
when you think your team should sign a player because he played well for you
You blow your load whilst masturating over the front cover of the game.

We all do that right?

All the time, you couldn't imagine what valentines day was like, my bed sheets were as sticky as **** ;)
When you look up player on facebook to try and be his friend as he is Godlike for you (mainly LLM)
I honestly think of new tactics and new signings in order to fall asleep at night....
you think the star player of your team plays the same in real life.
talking to my dad about how the irish league is Improving unknown to him that its fm im talking about

Also 31 is a definite lie