AC Milan - One Foot In The Grave

Brilliant so far, loving the humour involved in it all. Keep it up mate, this has serious potential!
 
Awesome and hilarious once again :) A screenie of your formation, and maybe some of your results when you get that far... As long as it doesn't turn into more pictures than text, 'cause i really like it as it is now :D
 
AC Milan vs AC Milan Reserves


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Oh the GLORY! We destoyed the reserves. Inzaghi managed to score 2 goals without shattering his ankles, guess that polish worked! 63% possetion shows we domonated.

As the final whistle went I jumped out of my seat with joy and started doing the Hulk Hogan pose routine to each side of the stadium. but what did I see after that? The Milan first teamers shaking hands and chatting with the opposition!? Where was the gloating!? As the teams went back down the tunnel I decided to stay to one side. I pointed to every reserve player.

"Your all ****!! Bow down to my dominance! I AM A GENIUS"

The reserve players mainly ignored me, the last one sneered so I spat at him, I regret it now........... because I missed and looked stupid.

After that glorious win I can't see ANY team being able to beat my formation. This is as close to an unbeatable tactic as possible. We simply cannot lose.
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You need to sign super Mario... i can only imagine what you can do with him
 
Average Joe said:
The Milan first teamers shaking hands and chatting with the opposition!? Where was the gloating!? As the teams went back down the tunnel I decided to stay to one side. I pointed to every reserve player.

"Your all ****!! Bow down to my dominance! I AM A GENIUS"

The reserve players mainly ignored me, the last one sneered so I spat at him, I regret it now........... because I missed and looked stupid.

After that glorious win I can't see ANY team being able to beat my formation. This is as close to an unbeatable tactic as possible. We simply cannot lose.
​
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pahahahah genious
 
I suppose your thinking "Average Joe, why should we read on now that we have seen your unbeatable tactic that you will not lose with, this will just be boring" Well, you nosey ****, not everything goes to plan. Not even for a genius.


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Decent game decided by a header. After the match I simply walked out of the stadium and got into my car. I drove around Munich thinking about my terrible, terrible loss. Actually it was pretty much exactly like the scene in Rocky 4 after Apollo... Well you know :'(


[video=youtube;4eij5IGNNcc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eij5IGNNcc[/video]


Just like that, but instead of Drago punching me, it was Gomez heading into the net. And instead of training with Apollo it was me and Robinho....

A sad sickening day for all involved. I wont let it happen again.
​
 
After I got back to the hotel I heard a knock on the door. It was an upset Gattuso and he had a request....an odd request.


"Me hear you good art. Me want you draw me. You make Gennaro be pretty" He said

"Errrrm, yes Gennaro, I will make you look beautiful" I replied, wanting to stay on his good side.

"Please Gennaro, pose over there, I will use water colours"

View attachment 208407

Gattuso seemed pleased when I handed him the picture. He stayed very still for me to paint and I feel I did a good job. I need him for the Super Cup against Inter next.
 
Super Cup Final

After the loss to Bayern I HAD to be Inter.

View attachment 208415

POW!!!! HOWD YA LIKE ME NOW! have that you bellends! Collecting 5 yellows may look as if we bullied them off the park and... well yeah we kicked the **** out of them. Cassano swung a lovely shot in from outside the box straight past Cesar, a goal that deserved the win.

I left the stadium that night in my Ford Siera and cruised the streets. I picked up 3 prostitues and sniffed cocaine from their nipples. I couldnt stop myself that night, I was on fire. I did not wake from my booze and drug filled coma until the next match day, a friendly with Juventus.



View attachment 208419

A good win for us there, Zlatan with a quickfire double! Suck it Pirlo!!!!


Guess who I had next, first league match. Thats right you fecking know it all. Juventus.

View attachment 208421

Hard start to the season? PAH! Not for this tactical genius!! Juve never stood a chance against this newly made footballing titan. Another Zlatan double to **** off his old club. **** you Pirlo!!



After a solid start to the season I had a call from Don Maldini reminding me that I was in his debt. I sat on my huge throne at home smoking a cigar plotting my tactics aginst my next foe, AS Roma. When I say throne I mean toilet, when I say plotting I mean I was having a ****, when i said AS Roma......well I meant lets do a fat **** on Roma to be honest.
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Possibly the worst story I have ever come across.

Only joking, this is comedy gold. Brilliant story mate. Keep it up!
 
BeadSTARR said:
Possibly the worst story I have ever come across.

Only joking, this is comedy gold. Brilliant story mate. Keep it up!
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Well **** you I will fight you to the death!!

Oh...a joke. ;) Cheers lads, keep commenting and I will keep trying to update. Any feedback? What would you like to see?
 
Average Joe said:
Well **** you I will fight you to the death!!

Oh...a joke. ;) Cheers lads, keep commenting and I will keep trying to update. Any feedback? What would you like to see?
Click to expand...

Think you spent to much time with Gattusto.
Feedback? Pure quality. Not much more to add tbh.
Not sure what id like to see if im honest... Just let it run wild. Having an affair with a players mrs then bragging about in a conference or summet. Would be hilarous. ;)
 
I sat on the throne and planned away. Then I remembered I had some calls to make. I started to dial a man world known for his scouting knowledge, he might just be the key to replacing these Milan old timers.

"Hello"? The voice said

*PLOP* "Oops..umm, hello Mr Bond, I mean 007, umm Raikan..." I had never spoken to the man before but he is regarded as the best. After a 30 min phone call he agreed to sign and help me with the Milan scouting system. A baragin as his wages would be 8 Gold coins per week and as many pancakes as he could eat from the canteen. I looked forward to meeting the man tomorrow.

My next call was to a mysterious top coach. I did not have his personal number but I had been told I could reach him by asking for him at a Spearmint Rhino in London.

"Could I speak to Dunc please?" I asked the barmaid. She went to get him, much easier than I thought.

"WAZZZZZZZUPUUUPPPPPP!?" said the next voice. What the ****? I thought I had gone back a few years hearing that. Not what I expected from a football coach but I had heard rumours about his antics.

After a 3 min phone call quickly Dunc agreed to help me coach my old timers. No wage, just an abundance of strippers, prostitutes and absynth. Sounded a fair deal, how much booze and prozzy's could one man get through in a week....?

I met them both in the lobby early at 10.45 am, getting up at that hour was a struggle, Dunc still looked ****** up himself. After a brief but interesting chat they each handed me a sheet of paper.

http://www.fm-base.co.uk/forum/foot...ids/83895-raikan007s-wonderkid-shortlist.html

And

http://www.fm-base.co.uk/forum/foot...ics-training/84281-duncs-training-fm2012.html

Exactly what I was after!
 
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