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Breaking News From Villa park
News has spread the Randy Lerner has lost control of Aston Villa in a card game!!
Eddie "The Arm" Armavich is the new man in charge at Villa Park. The Arm made his fortune selling arms to the middle-east, not weapons, actual human arms. No one knew where he got these arms from but he would sell them to wealthy men as aphrodisiacs. Once his business went global he was banned from selling them and decided to start up a cat food business instead...the cat food includes meat, but WHAT meat is a mystery.
We have sent our top reporter down to have a chat with him and explain what actually happened???
Reporter: Hello Eddie and thanks for meeting with us.
The Arm: I'm the Arm to you....peasant.
Reporter: I'm sorry, The arm.
The Arm: that is quite alright, here have some cat food.
Reporter: um..no thank you. So please tell me how you acquired Aston Villa.
The Arm: Well as you know it was in a card game, we was playing poker and the stakes got a bit crazy. Randy was bragging that he was unbeatable so I put my cat food business on the table and dared him to put up Villa. He accepted and showed 4 ACES which as you know is a good hand. Then BAM I put down 5 KINGS and wipe that smile off his face. Little did he know that you can only get 4 kings and I had sneakily kept Kings up my sleeve the hole time hahaha.
Reporter: So you cheated to win the club
The Arm: yes, why? do you have a problem with that
Reporter: well I don't think that ethically you...
The Arm: what do ethics have to do with this it's business:
Reporter: I'm just saying that..
The Arm: I don't care what you think. That's it, bring me my machete!
Reporter: What?? why do you need that??
The Arm: Give me your arm little man!
Reporter: Oh god noooo
*Signal cuts out*