Disclaimer89's English Premier League Chairman Game - FM 2015 Edition

All teams have been taken!

Lets get the rest of the press conferences out before the transfer window opens; at 6pm.
 
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Update from the Queen


We are in the market for a CB still and a Striker, one would like deals sorted between chairmen if possible. all offers considered for Foreign players....but Reid and Sakho have possibly got a new home


*Please note that picture is not of the queen, but Katy Perry is much nicer to look at.


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Billionaire Mark Vadon Steps In

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Burnley Football club are pleased to announce the sale of the club to successful billionaire diamond trader Mark Vadon. It is said that Mark has always had a passion for football and has decided to take the step and involve himself in the game; bringing success to Burnley in the process.

Mark knows it will be a challenge bringing Burnley into the top end of the premier league but all he had to say about the topic is "Don't limit your challenges, challenge your limits."

Whilst at the press conference Mark would like to let it known that players are available to purchase from the club if the deal is right. Danny Ings is receiving a lot of attention and no deal will be ruled out.​
 
Finish work at half 5 so my chairman's official unveiling we be at about 6
 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I've been waiting patiently for one of these to start... Of course it starts when I was on a frikkin cruise!!! If anyone drops out I'll gladly fill in :)
 
Shock takeover at Arsenal

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Arsenal takeover kicks off Royal Rumble
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After the recent surge in Premier League takeovers, it seemed only a matter of time before Stan Kroenke released his grip on Arsenal. However, none could expect the controversial decision in terms of who would take the reins.

After yesterdays announcement of Queen Elizabeth II as the new owner of West Ham, a lot of people were puzzled, as the Queen has admitted to being a life-time Arsenal fan. Now it seems like there is a Royal Rumble about to break out as Arsenal have announced their new owner:

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PRINCE HARRY!
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Prince Harry stated that he was delighted to take charge of the mighty Gunners. Harry stated that unlike his grandmother, he would bring a modern approach to the club, creating a multicultural squad of many nationalities. He did admit, however, that he would be looking to bring in more ginger players. The clubs in the north must be shaking in their pants.

Harry also demonstrated that the old man Wenger had already taken his time on teaching him how to put on a jacket, and demonstrated this to the photographer's great delight.

Speculations claim that this might lead to West Ham and Arsenal having a closer connection than what is normal for London rivals. But The Sun claimed that the relations between the two owners have become less than friendly after Harry was forced to suffer a humiliating spanking after the 'Penisgate' incident.

No matter what the relations, there is sure to be drama kicking off in London during this Premier League season.
 
Znik said:
View attachment 870566
Arsenal takeover kicks off Royal Rumble
Click to expand...
Znik said:
After the recent surge in Premier League takeovers, it seemed only a matter of time before Stan Kroenke released his grip on Arsenal. However, none could expect the controversial decision in terms of who would take the reins.

After yesterdays announcement of Queen Elizabeth II as the new owner of West Ham, a lot of people were puzzled, as the Queen has admitted to being a life-time Arsenal fan. Now it seems like there is a Royal Rumble about to break out as Arsenal have announced their new owner:

View attachment 870578
PRINCE HARRY!
​
Prince Harry stated that he was delighted to take charge of the mighty Gunners. Harry stated that unlike his grandmother, he would bring a modern approach to the club, creating a multicultural squad of many nationalities. He did admit, however, that he would be looking to bring in more ginger players. The clubs in the north must be shaking in their pants.

Harry also demonstrated that the old man Wenger had already taken his time on teaching him how to put on a jacket, and demonstrated this to the photographer's great delight.

Speculations claim that this might lead to West Ham and Arsenal having a closer connection than what is normal for London rivals. But The Sun claimed that the relations between the two owners have become less than friendly after Harry was forced to suffer a humiliating spanking after the 'Penisgate' incident.

No matter what the relations, there is sure to be drama kicking off in London during this Premier League season.
Click to expand...

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Just going to leave this here....


Ps yeh I have seen reports of them both saying they support West ham, then reports saying Arsenal...#loyalfans!​
 
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Liverpool Board forced back to USA - San Marino Mafia Member takes charge!

We have heared reports from Anfield, that the former Liverpool owners, FSG, have been forced out by.. A San Marino Mafia member..? This is... certainly surprising, with Del Conte also taking charge of Stoke.

Statement from Lewie Roberts (The new Owner of the club):
"Did you think the San Marino revolution would end with just Del Conte taking charge of #HoofBall Stoke? Well. not if I have something to say about it! Honestly though, I'm a true Liverpool fan through and through, and I have been through everything. Even the stuff like "That" slip by Gerrard, and this meme:

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But I'm here to change this. As a former keeper, I played in the biggest stages, the Premier League, the Champions League and the World Cup, and I want to get Liverpool to the Champions League regularly

Transfers for when Window opens:

Jose Enrique - 4.75m
Joe Allen - 10.5m
Glen Johnson - FREE

But all players have a price, and I'll leave you with this:

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Breaking News: Roman Abramovich found dead!
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Russian billionaire and Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has been found dead on his luxury yacht in what appears to be an ambush laid by the Sammarinese mafia. The reasoning for this murder is as of yet unknown, although sources are saying that Del Conte - Stoke's new Chairman and the leader of the Sammarinese mafia - was incensed at Roman's refusal to give Stoke Eden Hazard for free.

In a hastily arranged press conference, the new owner of Chelsea FC was revealed to be....
An ordinary Chelsea fan, Aaron Weight, who wandered into Stamford Bridge amidst all the chaos of the murder to find José Mourinho sat in his office, with all of Romans bank details in front of him (It appears Roman knew it was coming and told José everything).

Weight, who was rumored to be taking over Manchester United earlier in the summer, had this to say at his press conference earlier:

'I understand that many fans will be worried that with our Russian owner dead, we will have to sell our key players. I want to say now: This is not true. We have all the details of the whereabouts of Roman's money and will be using it to take Chelsea to the next level (Winning the Champions League with attacking football). Also we will be trying to bring through the next generation of youngsters. These are long term goals, the short term goal is to get both clubs run by the Sammarinese Mafia relegated from the BPL'

'In terms of transfers, I have had the opportunity to talk to José (and if anyone Sammarinese comes near him: I know a guy - he has lots of contacts :P ) and we have decided to make the following players available for sale'
Petr Cech - £15+m
Ramires - £15+m
Charly Musonda - Loan/£2m
Willian - £20+m
Mikel - £3m
Filipe Luis - £5m
Drogba - £250k
Loic Remy - £12m

^Some of the above players already have moves pending, if a better offer comes along for them before the transfers are confirmed then i will listen to them.Most Chelsea players currently on loan will be available for transfer/loan next summer - PM for enquiries


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Also, from Liverpool, if anyone wants Brendan Rodgers as manager, then you can take him, as long as you pay a small sum, 500k.

Thanks, Lewie Roberts
 
I'm loving the fact that many chairmen are dying instead of selling their club!
 
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Breaking News!
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It seems a curse has struck the Premier League today, as the Leicester City board were officially prounounced dead after a freak ballooning accident on the coast of Italy. Early indications are that the Sanmarinise mafia have struck again.

In the wake of this tragedy, Leicester have turned to infamous chairman God Fish to take charge. The ex-Atalanta and Liverpool chairman announced his arrival earlier today. The ex-sofa salesman became a mogul in the world of furniture, allowing him to fund his expensive hobby.

Mr Fish today said that "it was the beginning of a new era for Leicester."

"Having left the world of sofas, I was at a loss. I tried selling boats, but my profits sank.I tried selling birds, but the little blighters flew away. I finally found my true calling in life though; I became a professional juggler. I made enough to buy another club and this was available" he said gleefully.

With the Premier League in turmoil, what on earth will it give us next?​
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