Disclaimer89's English Premier League Chairman Game - FM 2015 Edition

Well.

the fact that Moses and Odemwingie are there on the matches just says it all.
Fact that Odemwhingie's your top scorer is a bad omen....
But seriously, that was really tough month against good teams :)
 
I will check the save file tomorrow and do a press conference then :)
 
Btw, naterr. I've chosen West Ham as my first target. You have until tonight to send me bribes, or be ready for ridicule!

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Premier League Spotlight: WEST HAM

Tonights Premier League spotlight focuses on the newly turned-royal team that is West Ham. The London club recently went through a takeover from none other than her royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II. We've seen major changes at Boleyn ground, as the Queen has changed her recruitment policy, to (almost) only sign British players.

So, talking of transfers. What have West Ham been up to?

Transfers: 4/10

IN: Glen Johnson, Mathieu Flamini, Rickie Lambert, Danny Welbeck, Gabby Agbonlahor, Emile Heskey, Jason Steele
OUT: Diafra Sakho, Winston Reid, Enner Valencia.

Queen Elizabeth has decided to re-brand West Ham as a Royal Variety Side, focusing on solely attacking football to create new optimism before moving to the new ground. However, she has left her financial advisor at the Buckingham Palace, paying enormous wages for decent PL-players. The Queen has been quoted stating that surely these wages will be covered by the government anyways!

Coach: 6/10
The queen has decided to send Sam Allardyce on a summer-course at Zednek Zeman's house, to teach him how to create an attacking side. This new-found Sam will surely create excitement for the fans, but can it win matches?

Starting 11: 4/10


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The new policy by the Queen means that Sam Allardyce will be forced to utilise all his striker-options. It is also claimed that she has insisted Glen Johnson will occupy the sole defensive-slot, as he is the best offensively! With the duo of Alex Song and Flamini in the centre you are sure to see tackles flying as well, even more excitement for the Hammer's faithful.

Predictions:

Final Position: 13th
Goals Scored: 207
Goals Conceded: 421
Highlight of the season: Emile Heskey scoring at Anfield, after a goalless streak of 17 games.
Low point of the season: Flamini being sent off against Arsenal after 17 seconds, quickly followed by Alex Song seeing red 3 minutes later. Sam Allardyce continues with 6 up front, and West Ham lose the game 2-17.
Should be looking for: Inventing extremely large gloves for keeper Adrian, and locating Sepp Blatter to get some tips on how to run an organisation well financially.

This tactic looks a bit too defensive to me!

And to all the haters...Heskey scores on his first game :P
 
Bit of a disappointing start but hopefully we can pull back a few poimts and stay up. The hoops are a prem team and it needs to stay that way.
 

Man Utd
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August
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Mega impressive start with a 5-0 win against Stoke then followed a solid point from a good performance at Anfield. Loosing at home to Newcastle was a awful performance at home to Newcastle, This kinda result is to be expected with all the new players. My policy is wait till christmas to give the manager and team settled




The Good
Falcao is on fire with 3 goals in 3 games while Mata behind him is running the show. Hummels has made a very impressive start & Phil Jones has been my best midfielder for some reason.


The Bad
We would have liked to have seen more players moved on but sadly we were let down by other clubs lack of desire to sign top class players. We'll see if that changes in January. However i did target a minimum of 6 points and were stuck on 4!. No debuts for any of my kids with Barkley, Ward Prowse & Shaw waiting for there 1st start. If this keeps up there's going to be superstar loans available in January.




The Ugly
A few of LVG's selections have made us wonder what he's up to, Jones over Carrick, While superstars Di Maria & blind have yet to make there club debut! He didnt even rest players in the League Cup




Sept target
We got an awful draw with Arsenal in the League cup. so i hope Arsene will use his kids against our 1st team! That game is split by games with Chelsea & Tottenham so a minimum of 4 points from our 3 games. I would understand a defeat to either of the London clubs but not both but with that we MUST beat West Brom.



 
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Slow start to the league for Swansea

Swansea have had a slow start to the season with 2 wins and 2 losses in the opening 4 games.

Aston VIlla 2 - 1 Swansea
The start of the new season began with an away trip to Aston Villa which ended in a 2-1 loss. After new signing Diouf gave the club the lead Villa were able to hit back with 2 quick goals and even though Swansea were able to dominate possession in the game they couldn't turn that into goals and in the end most of the games chances fell to the home side. With the changes to the squad it is expected to take time for the squad to gel but games like these must be won if the team are to push for a European place at the end of the season.

Swansea 3 - 2 QPR

With Swansea playing their first home game of the season against a lower side expectations were high. They had the perfect start with the score 2-0 after only 3 minutes thanks to goals from Jonjo Shelvey and Mame Diouf. Steven Caulker pulled one back for QPR before Mame Diouf was able to put the Swans 2 ahead again and a late Charlie Austin consolation could not pull QPR back into the game. Swansea were again unable to dominate the scoreline even though they had 56% possession. The defence has so far been unable to perform well together over 90 minutes and as the season Garry Monk must sort out this problem otherwise he could be out of the club before he knows it.

Swansea 3 - 0 Mansfield

A cup game against lower league opposition gave Swansea their first and so far only clean sheet of the season. 2 goals from Oliveira and another from Montero gave the Swans a comfortable win in a match they never looked like losing. 64% possession and 16 shots during the game are stats that just show how much Swansea dominated this game. Mansfield are however 3 divisions lower and lack the quality to really hurt Swansea. They will need to reproduce this kind of performance against bigger opposition.

Arsenal 3 - 1 Swansea

Another Shocking performance by Swanseas defence as they conceded 3 goals in the first 31 minutes of the game. Arsenal came into the game as the heavy favourites and they truly never looked like losing. The goal by Sigurdsson made the scoreline look a little better but this is another game were Monk will look at his backline and think are they truly premier league quality.

The next four league games for Swansea are West Ham, Crystal Palace, Burnley and Leicester and they should be looking for a minimum of points from those games. Anything less will place more pressure on Garry Monks position with there being talk already that he could be moved on and possible replacements are already being looked at with reports already linking Roger Schmidt, Vincenzo Montella, Julen Lopetegui and Eddie Howe to the job.


 
August

August has been a very half and half month for Tottenham. The good half was the teams fantastic success in the Europa League, the bad half was their disappointing start to the new premier league season.

The Europa League was fantastic. Spurs progressed through the qualifying with a 4-0 home win over Molde, thanks to goals from Eriksen, Chadli and a brace from young star Harry Kane. They then managed a 3-0 win away from home, with the goals coming from Paulinho and yet another brace from Kane.

Things were a lot worse in the Premier League. Spurs got thrashed 4-0 at the Emirates by fierce rivals Arsenal, let back Danny Rose getting sent off in the 21st minute. Things picked up with a 4-2 win over West Ham with Kaboul, Townsend, Chadli and Paulinho scoring. Spurs finished August with a disappointing 1-0 defeat to Crystal Palace, Spurs giving away a penalty and Kaboul getting red carded.

Player of the Month
This goes to new signing Nicolas Nkoulou. In his five appearances he got an impressive average rating of 7.78, picking up an assist and two player of the match awards
 
Victorious Villians

A craacking first month of the season as we went unbeaten thanks to wins against City and Swansea and a draw versus Hull.

We currently have 7 points from 3 games which leaves us lying 3rd in the league.

We are hoping for this to be the first stepping stone in a successful season.


Player of the month:

Valencia the Villian, scoring in all 3 games to give us some vital points so early on.

Thank you

Villa
 
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Sunderland board encouraged by early season showing.

Kevin Phillips is encouraged by the teams start to the season however there is work to be done.

Sunderland's first game of the season was a disappointing 2-0 defeat to Hull, I think the boys were a little nervous in this game, however there were some encouraging performances which were carried over into our game at Man City.

Up next were Man City we were largely outplayed however were unlucky to come away with a 1-1 draw. Our attacking play was up there with the best however our ball retention and ability to see out the game were a little disappointing. On loan Steven Davis and new boy Jermaine Defoe were in good form.

Next up we were away to Walsall in the Capital One Cup. We were able to rest some key players and also give a chance to some of our younger players. New signing and promising youngster Kelechi Iheanacho had an excellent debut by scoring a brace as we ran out 4-1 winners.

Our final game of August saw us beat Everton 2-1 at home with Defoe continuing his good form by scoring his second of the season and Steven Davis once again putting in another good performance.

Player of the Month

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Steven Davis has had a great month putting in a shift in every game he has played so far this season. He has chalked up an average rating of 7.33. If his form continues we may look at ways to keep him at the club. Cue the applause.
A mention must also go to Jermaine Defoe for his scoring efforts, his goals will be valuable to us this season.

It is important that we carry this form into September and put ourselves in a good position going into the winter months.​
 
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^Either that's a great piece of misdirection, or you just got the wrong Steven Davis. Either way, I approve.
 
^Either that's a great piece of misdirection, or you just got the wrong Steven Davis. Either way, I approve.

Read the description! It was clearly a very elegant piece of twisteroo!
 
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Chelsea FC - The season so far

Transfers:
Following on from new owner Aaron Weight splashing the cash on HG players, José was left with a £12m transfer budget. Firstly, obviously not satisfied with Bertrand as a backup left back, José signed Camilo Zuniga for £5.5m. This has earned him an official warning - he should look to the youth squad (Chelsea do have one!). He then went and signed a young(ish - 23) keeper who will obviously not get any game time unless both Courtois and Cech are injured. Warning no. 2...

Matches:
West Ham 1-2 Chelsea
F*** you Liz! This shows why British players can't be trusted too much - we played ***** and still won. Danilo with a red card after 12 minutes... nice to see some passion in his game :/ Good to see Aké on the bench even if he didn't play.

Chelsea 2-2 Crystal Palace
Warning no. 3 - we dominated this game and yet had to rely on 2 late(ish) goals to even get a draw - Positive thing to see Solanke score on his debut :D

Burnley 1-2 Chelsea
And i thought we had squad depth - ended the game with Aké at left back (Azpi injured in pre-season with a broken leg, hence the firing of the physio). Again we struggled against a team we should be beating easily

POTM:
John Terry: Warning no. 4.... looking at that run of games, it says something if a centre back has been our best player so far.

Worst POTM:
Camilo Zuniga - never giving José a transfer budget again, although all our full backs have been ****

Looking ahead:
If ever there was a time that José wanted to show he was a good manager, next month is a good idea. Games against Leicester, Man Utd and Liverpool in the league, Liverpool in the COC and Legia and Napoli in the CL. Anything less than 6 points in the league will not be tolerated - neither will not beating Legia.​
 
Mr Fish has declared himself pleased at the current state of affairs, in a brief statement released today. The chairman himself is away at a jugglers convention (yes, apparently those do exist), but found time to drop us a quick paragraph:

" Obviously, I'm chuffed that we aren't in the drop zone. Ok, we lost a game, it's gonna happen. We won a game too though, and we showed Liverpool how to play football as well. We did something in the cup, probably, I don't know. The Capital One Cup is a mickey mouse competition, I have no concern with it until we win. We need to keep our mid-table position next month though, I want top flight football next season. If we don't, then Pearson's contract states he goes on holiday to San Marino. No pressure really."
 
Time to get your press conferences done, new update could be coming before we know it! :P
 
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Shearer Delighted With Newcastle Start

General update

Newcastle chairman Alan Shearer returned from a short family holiday yesterday and is said to be absolutely chuffed with the start his team has made. He mentioned that a real togetherness and sense of community had returned to the city and when asked about late owner Mike Ashley he only replied, 'Mike who?'. When probed about the new owners Shearer only responded by saying that they would, at this time, like to remain anonymous, but they were known to him as the 'Knights of St. James'.

Transfers

Stevan Jovetic is enjoying life at his new club after being released from the blood and passion sucking pit of Manchester City. He's made a point of saying that he felt tied down by expectation and a lack of real support from the club or supporters, surely a warning to other foreign talent to steer clear of the new giant.

Tomas Rosicky
seems to have found himself outside of new manager Oscar Tabarez's plans at this point in time, but Shearer still believes a player of his experience and quality will make an impact at some point in the season

Ruben Neves (loan) Ruben has been used as a sub on a few occasions by Tabarez and this is exactly how Shearer says he envisioned the deal. He hopes the youth player will gain a good amount experience at St. James's Park sparking a good relationship with new Chelsea owner Aaron Weight.

Oscar Tabarez,
according to Shearer, has been the signing of the season so far by any club. The manager has been a revelation for the Magpies bringing wins in every game so far, competitive and non-competitve. Shearer believes his success lies in his tactics and said that the players had not really been performing too greatly, but Tabarez was inspiring wins. Surely good things lie ahead for both the Uruguayan and the club.
Results

Burnley 1 - 3 Newcastle,
a scrappy game that Newcastle finished their chances in, with goals for Ferreyra, Perez and Sissoko

Newcastle 2 - 0 Leicester,
a close game with 50/50 possession, but Newcastle's strikers proved to be the difference once again finishing their chances better. Goals for new boy Jovetic and another for Ferreyra.

MancheTster United 1 - 2 Newcastle,
yet another scrappy/close game, but Newcastle again created clear chances which their strikers converted with aplomb. Shearer is said to be absolutely over the moon with the performance, citing a very mature, defensive, yet clinical setup from Tabarez as the reason behind the victory.

Player of the Month

Stevan Jovetic, Apps: 4, Goals: 2, Assists: 2, Avg Rating: 7.10

Target
Top 6


 
Gates Annoyed With Slow Start

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Southampton chairman Bill Gates has voiced his concern over the Saints slow start in the Premier League season.

Southampton have struggled with the team cohesion as they have played three Premier league games; they have lost two and won won, this is probably the start we expected of a Southampton side who usually have low expectations but Gates has said with the quality of players that he has brought in, they should be doing much better.

The Friendlies

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The friendlies were excellent with four games being played and four convincing wins, arguably these we against smaller sides but we still showed class especially against Murcia and a relatively strong Turkish side called Genclerbirligi. The standout performers were Pelle, Forster, Wijnaldum, Chamberlain and expecially Berahino who scored four goals against Murcia and got an amazing rating of 10.00!

The League and Capital One Cup

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We started the season well with a solid win against Q.P.R with Wijnaldum and Pelle getting the goals. QP.R were lucky to get a goal through Charlie Austin and they never really looked comfortable as we dominated possession.

Next was a bad win against Arsenal, but if you look on the bright side they are a strong side and we were never favourites but we got a goal at least! Graziano Pelle got a goal but throughout the game he was largely inefficient also Chris Cohen was the worst player on the pitch with a rating of 6.3. Overall Arsenal deserved to win though it's disapointing.

The next game was a Capital One Cup game against Bury where we won 2-0. Filip Djuricic started off the scoring in the tenth minute and Adebayor got the second on the 17th minute. Wijnaldum was sent off on the 32nd minute and that really killed off the game as nothing really happened after that, Wijnaldum was the worst player on the pitch with a rating of 5.8. The possession stats really showed the quality of the two teams with us getting 62 percent of the possession. The third round draw drew us against Bournemouth.

The last game was against West Ham and we simply weren't good enough, we dominated but we didn't really challenge the West Ham goal, we need to use possession and be more clinical to be honest, the only good thing about this match is Berahino got another goal.

Player of The Month

Saido Berahino - Striker


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On-loan Liverpool striker has been very good for us this month, really standing out in some matches, this award could have easily gone to Wijnaldum or Forster but the West Ham game was not a highlight for Forster and Wijnaldum didn't even feature in that game after his poor form against Bury. His average rating is 7.10 and he looks like a very good catch for us and Liverpool.

Worst Player of The Month

Chris Cohen - Defender

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The former Nottingham Forest captain hasn't been great to be honest. He was brought into to replace Nathaniel Clyne but he hasn't really fitted the bill yet, maybe he just need to stettle in but he needs to settle in as he has been the worst player in 2 games out of 4 now.

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These are his stats, which aren't bad so I don't understand his lack of commitment and intestity in games.

Will things improve at Southampton? That is a question which still needs answering.
 
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