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Preparations
In the coming weeks it will all begin again, and in order to get sorted for the new season, certain things need to happen. My PA needs to phone round clubs to get the best deals for my shortlisted players, prepare my morning coffee and also book in a session with my 'therapist' for one my 'special' massages.
With this stress free, caffeine fuelled mindset, I am able to get up and running for the new season with the challenge of winning the league a third time in a row!
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They have finally done a season review and there are plenty of plaudits for our team. Jensen even sneaks in with the highest average rating.
International
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In our national news, the wonderkid Piotr Rzepka is voted the best Young Player at the tournament . Not bad for a teenager!
Staying with Poland I have some more news to bring you. When the job first came available I was really intrigued, could I take this big step up and manage on the International scene? Well I completed it mate. Thinking ahead, there is not much I can do with Poland. They have an ageing squad with only Rzepka as the stand out youngster coming through. It is with this in mind I have decided to resign from my role as Poland Manager. I meet with the Polish FA directly and explained that I wanted to move on to another challenge and had done all I can with the national side. They were saddened but wished me well.
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Now we get to the real reason I resigned. If their is ever a possibility to take up this job you have to do it. After a very disappointing Euros, England are managerless and need someone to come in. I think that is me, so I send in my application and also talk to some of my friends in the press to say how much I would love to manage the Three Lions.
Within 2 hours I had 3 job offers. England, France and Portugal.
All very good sides and all with their own challenges, England are the obvious choice and I need to challenge myself again.
I gladly accept my highest ever wage, a nice £83k a week!
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Middelfart
Back to the club that I have grown to love like my own offspring. The glorious Middelfart. Preseason has gone well.
We have been drawn in the Champions League against Sparta Prague. If we get through this round I am sure it will be through to the group stages. I feel confident about our chances!
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Transfers
One of the most exciting parts of the season, with a massive increase in transfer and wage budgets we were keen to do business.
The only outgoing player was Moussa Sissoko who did not want to resign and has instead chosen to retire.
Now for the transfers in. I know I have a reputation as a wheeler dealer but the bargains I have secured in this window are ridiculous. The quality of players is great and the depth we have is even better than before.
The marquee signing? ENZO ******* ZIDANE! I know he is not anywhere near as good as his dad but just picture it! All those blue Middelfart shirts with ZIDANE printed on the back!
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Let's take a closer look at the new boys.
Adnan Curovic - DC/R
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We sign the youngish Dane from Lyngby who did so well last year. For under £1M I think this is a very good piece of business, he is young and has all the skills we need to compete for a starting place along with Molberg and Kabongo.
Lukas Lerager - DM/MC
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With only Hansen able to play at DM we needed cover and what a player we have got on our hands. He signs from Polish side Zulte Wargem as our most expensive signing for £1.3M. His stats are solid and he has bags of experience in this league and others.
Mattias Svanberg - Everywhere
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Our first Swedish player! Svanberg has the physical stats to frighten any team and his great versatility means we can play him anywhere from DM to ST! Signing him for a third of his value was great business!
Benny Nielsen - AMC/MC
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Definitely one for the future. Paulissen is not getting any younger and I can see a decline in his performances. Nielsen is the ideal replacement and for just over £1.2M a real bargain!
Enzo Zidane - AMC/AML
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I still can't believe it. Zidane at Middelfart. Don't get me wrong he is not going to be a Troels Jensen but his name carries intent. After an unsuccessful spell at Real, Zidane went to the Greek Superleague and did reasonably well for 5 years. I am hoping his experience and flair will help raise the squad and if he and Kagawa link up, it excites the life out of me.
Cesar Martin - ST
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Out in the remote island of Greece, one of our scouts stumbled across this lad whilst sunning himself on holiday! The Argentine played for Xanthe and we signed him for free! He is a £2M player and we snapped him up. 15 Finishing thoooo!!
Edson - ST
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And last but certainly not least is our first Brazilian signing since Andre Riel I believe? Edson is 25, has bags of pace, flair, long shots but most importantly finishing! We now have a line up of Jensen, Martin and Edson who all can score goals!
Exciting times for Middelfart (and England).
I can not wait to get this season underway!
UP. THE. FARTS!!!!!!