The Football Managing Mercenary

[DerbyJack]

Its safe to say that aside from the Europa League, this season has been absolutley horrific.

With the January transfer window already upon us, I could have been forgiven for splashing the cash, shipping out my rebelling players and trying to rebuild a team capable of getting back up into the upper ends of the table but despite our recent arguments I still have complete faith in this set of players.

Brace yourself for a disappointing window...

The only departure of note saw fringe midfielder Daniel Amartey leave for first-team football in the Bundesliga. Having been rooted to the bench for much of my tenure the young holding midfielder desperately needed to reinvigorate his career with Leverkusen happy to help.

Not exactly a shake up.

From: Anderlecht
Cost: £7 million​

Replacing the departing Amartey comes another promising youth prospect in the shape of Belgian, Youri Tielmans. The recently capped midfielder is light years ahead of his predeccesor with the ability to play some devistating through balls in the blink of an eye courtesy of a lethal first touch and eye for a pass. He might not have arrived to great fanfare but he could certainly make an instant impact.



So that was it.

With just half a season remaining, my job very much in the balance and a Europa League campaign in full swing, I make just the one signing in a weak attempt at pulling everything back together.

​

 

[DerbyJack]

January 2019​

2nd January 2019
Premier League

So its a new year but the same horrific season for the Foxes. Newcastle increase their own personal gap between themselves and the three clubs stuck in the relegation zone as they pick up a surprisingly easy victory at St James's Park. The boys never once seemed interested in the game as only a late goal from Gray gives us a glimmer of hope.


5th January 2019
FA Cup - 3rd Round

The FA Cup rears its head just when we didn't need it and despite giving a run out to my second string side we slip up to gift Wrexham with a giant killing result and free passage into the next round. The result added yet more Woes to an already awful season and the board where quick to add to my troubles.

12th January 2019
Premier League

Having heaped the pressure on to myself following a decidedly awkward board meeting I went into the game at Goodison Park fully expecting to be packing my bags from the King Power stadium but remarkable when I needed them most the boys actually pulled out the stops for me. A narrow one goal victory has effectively kept me in the job.

16th January 2019
Premier League

Form doesn't seem to last long with the Foxes and I'm soon back under scrutiny following a complete collapse against a title chasing Chelsea. The Blues are once again embroiled in a fierce fight at the other end of the table, whilst casually pushing us back into the middle of the relegation zone. Fantastic.


19th January 2019
Premier League

Keeping up with my previous statement. Form is non existent. Fortunately for us that meant we stole another narrow victory this time over fellow strugglers Stoke City. Not even last season top scorer and former Fox, Jamie Vardy could help the Potters as we desperately clung on to the victory.


23rd January 2019
Premier League

And it keeps going. One victory, one loss. This time another title contender sends morale spiraling back down as Arsenal fight back to claim all the points. When Spanish winger Sarabia found the back of the net it seemed we were about to steal an unlikely victory but it seems it only served to awake the Gunners as they fought back almost instantly to claim the points.


26th January 2019
Premier League

Bournemounth continue to frustrate us as we are held to another frustrating draw. Truth be told with our wayward finishing courtesy of our unhappy Italian, Ciro Immobile, we actually ended up lucky to even leave the game with a point as Juventus target, Ivor Fossum saves our bacon to keep us earning those important points...well point.


29th January 2019
Premier League

Having just insulted the mans finishing, he almost manages to single handedly take all the points in an important fixture against Hull. With time ticking down Immobile had claimed the lead with just seven minutes remaining on the clock but the Foxes show us just how much fight you have to have in order to survive in this league with an instant equaliser. Gutting.


January 2018
Premier League

That was one **** of a month. With the games coming thick and fast and no distractions via any form of European competition we actually managed to put on some efficient performances that finally saw us claw out way out of the relegation zone. With things still painfully tight at the foot of the table we need to continue our push away from trouble.

​

 

[DerbyJack]

February 2019

5th February 2019
Premier League

With the board still very much on my back we fell apart against West Brom as the Baggies were made to look like world beaters, cruising to a comfortable four goal victory. With the pressure mounting, I made sure that the boys knew just how I felt after the game...Obviously with half the dressing room already very much against me this did little to mend any open wounds.


10th February 2019
Premier League

With the team-talks before the game now feeling more like a hostage negotiation situation, I wasn't hoping for all the much against the consistent Southampton but the team continue to surprise me with their ability to do the unexpected as they once again ****** a clinical one goal victory. I'm not sure what's happening any more...


16th February 2019
Premier League

...Well that tops it. I'm not in control. Truth be told come the final whistle I wasn't even sure I would be at all as we fail to even hold the lead once against relegation favorites Leeds. The match boiled down to some rapid end to end action in the opening thirty minutes with Leeds claiming the advantage whilst we struggled to find a way back into the game for the remaining hour. Joy.


21st February 2019
Europa League - 1st Knockout Round - Leg 1

Not even the Europa League has any good news for me this time around. The press, board and fans all had us down as heavy favourites on a cold night in Russia but we finally failed to live up to expectations in the continent as we are held to a one all draw. Despite the disappointing result I was confident of still qualifying via the second leg back at the King Power Stadium however the board had other ideas...

February 2019
Premier League

So this is the end. With the club ironically at the highest point in the league thus far, the board have finally run out of patience sending me packing on the basis of my appalling relation with the squad. Truth be told its been a long time coming based on our league performances alone, I can have no real argument with my sacking.

I lost the dressing room, I lost our league standing and I lost my job.

Its good to be back to normal.

​

 

[Seano]

Hit the road Jack

Unlucky mate! Hopefully you'll pick up a decent joB!

 

[Death Ball]

What ungrateful bunch. After you got them up. That's why people don't time travel. It's a job that never gets recognized.

 

[PatrickLFC]

Tough luck Jack but it's a part of the story! Can't wait to see who you take charge of next!

 

[DerbyJack]

Cheers Seano, fingers crossed, not sure my reputation is up to scratch though

I know Death Ball! Its a crime that we are ignored so badly! Thanks for all the support!

Indeed it is Patrick! Cheers for sticking with me again!​

---

It was all going so well.

Having grafted out my first bit of success with Tranmere, I made a huge leap up to the Championship with Leicester, achieving a record breaking season to go with it and an instant return to the Premier League before a freak​

time travelling accident saw things spiral out of control...

The Premier League is brutal.

Arriving in the top flight as a bewildered, inexperienced, time travelling moron my chances of succeeding at Leicester were slim to begin with...

...Needless to say it proved to be one **** of a learning experience...​

2015/16
Premier League

It was an instant rude awakening in the Premier League. Having taken over a team that could quite easily have been in the running for a spot in Europe, I instead narrowly avoided being dragged into a relegation dog fight finishing in a lowly sixteenth and upsetting the majority of the best players within weeks of taking over. The pressure was on from the get go.​

2016/17
Premier League

It might not have exactly been a huge success but non the less it was most definitely an improvement. A mixed season saw us finish in a satisfying middle of the table. With the likes of Manchester United just a handful of points ahead of us and things seemingly increasing rapidly it seemed I was most definitely resuming my rise.​

2017/18
Premier League

Things continued to get better as we sneaked into Europe courtesy of Tottenham's League Cup victory. The Europa League, a finish alongside some of the leagues best and a young and exciting team now replacing the want-away stars I took over at the start of my career. My most successful season to date. Things just kept getting better...​

2018/19
Premier League

...And then it came to an abrupt half. Finishing off where I started my career, the board finally lost their patience with their inexperienced, argumentative and unfortunate manager, despite leading the team on one of their most successful forays into Europe in recent history. Things this season did not go to plan at all.



That was one **** of a challenge.

My Sunday League experience, truly came back to bite me in the ***, as I lost control of an unconvinced dressing room twice in just four seasons.

Having managed to repair relations mainly through selling the majority of the want-away stars at the start of my career, I failed to do the same the second time around as everything came to pieces in dramatic style.

​

 

[DerbyJack]

So having finally grafted my way into the top flight I've now found myself flung back onto the scrap heap.

Time to get comfortable on the sofa.

Before long however my inbox actually started to bring in the welcome messages from some potential suitors. A quick route back into the top end of English football surely awaited...

Or perhaps not.

With just a couple of months remaining in the games throughout the country it appeared that only clubs in the lower rungs on the ladder where prepared to take a risk on bringing in such an unqualified manager at this crucial stage.

Given that none of the clubs could ever come close to offering me the kind of money I had grown accustomed to, I declined their interviews and opted to hold out for the job rush at the start of the next season.

A risky gamble, perhaps but it might just be the one that resumes my hunt to break into this illustrious group...

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[/TD]
[TD="align: center"]

[/TD]
[TD="align: center"]

[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="align: center"]Pep Guardiola[/TD]
[TD="align: center"]Joachim Low[/TD]
[TD="align: center"]Laurent Blanc[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="align: center"]Manchester City[/TD]
[TD="align: center"]Barcelona[/TD]
[TD="align: center"]Real Madrid[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="align: center"]£170,000 per week[/TD]
[TD="align: center"]£94,000 per week[/TD]
[TD="align: center"]£93,000 per week[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

Klopp is gone. Jurgen failed to make any kind of impact with Liverpool and was quickly given the chop, pushing his compatriot, Joachim Low up into a distant second place. The Germany World Cup winner did earn his recent push however, winning the BBVA and narrowly missing out on the Champions League this season.

Replacing the "Normal One" within the rich list comes former PSG Manager, Laurent Blanc. The Frenchman takes over at the ever changing helm of the Galacticos and will be hoping that his recent arrival will signal the end to the recent Spanish dominance of Barcelona.

For the big earner Pep it still quite frankly a miracle that the Spaniard has a job. The former Barca and Bayern head coach failed to acheive anything of note with the Citizens this time around and even finishing in a disastrous fifth place missing out on the all important Champions League. He's got to be feeling the pressure by now.

For myself things were hardly going much better...

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[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="align: center"]Derby Jack[/TD]
[/TR]
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[TD="align: center"]-[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="align: center"]£0 per week[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

Back to where it all started.

I'm unemployed, unqualified and unpaid.

The life of a football managing mercenary can be brutal at times. but just as things seemed to be at there lowest, a faint glimmer of hope crept back into my career...

...The Job market is open for business.

It seems the welcome home of the Championship awaits. Having played just the one record-breaking solitary season in the division its fair to say I'm not too disheartened to take a step down into the second tier of English football.

With a strong group of clubs, including all three recently relegated sides all potentially willing to take me on board, I'm confident of getting back up to speed.

Time to get myself back in the money.

​

 

[DerbyJack]

As D:Ream once said;​

"Things can only get Better"

With my name in the running for no fewer then six clubs the coming season seemed to be getting underway in fine fashion. I was soon given three reasons not to be so optimistic...​

It seems they have all come to their senses and have realised just what they could have potentially done to their club as they all turn me down in favor of the much safer options of Neville, Pearson and McClaren.

With my ego bruised, my pockets empty and the pre-season starting to get under-way it seemed I was about to make a humiliating return back down the leagues having spent numerous seasons trying to escape them. Fortunately for me whilst half my potential suitors had sent me packing, the other half seemed panicked enough to reward my lower league floundering.​

With things on a low Middlesborough were the first to put an offer on my table. The Teesiders have fallen a long way from grace having poured all their efforts into a failed promotion push some four seasons ago and have been hit hard only able to offer a measly £4.6k per week for my services.

Insulting.

I opted to edge my bets and hoped that one of the other two teams might be able to offer me some more suitable wages and Norwich quickly obliged. A healthy wage was put on the table but before I could even enter contract talks with the Canaries the biggest fallen giant of them all made me an offer I couldn't refuse...​

I'm off to Tyneside!

With my time in the East Midlands once again ending in another embarrassing dismissal, hopes are turned to the Geordies as I look to repair my career and resume my pursuit of the gold.​

Arguably the biggest club outside of the Premier League.

Newcastle are a footballing giant that has been so poorly mistreated.

A huge fan-base, a coloured history and pure black and white passion but more important no more Mike Ashley. With the path cleared, Its time for me to do my part of bringing the Toon Army back to the top.​

For the first time in my career, I've been forced into a pay cut.

Having had two and a half thousand pounds slashed from wages every week however is no such great loss and I now stand on the cusp of creating a footballing dynasty at the helm of The Magpies.

Before I can get to work kick-starting a meteoric rise for Newcastle, there's the small matter of reviewing just what has happened at St James's Park.​

The club are on the down hill having suffered an incredibly tight relegation, narrowly missing out on safety courtesy of my former club, Leicester City.

With the club having suffered relegation now twice in four seasons, I face the challenge of not just getting them back into the top flight but more importantly keeping them there.

Turning around the deflated atmosphere in the club will be of paramount importance as both myself and the team need a dramatic turn-around in fortunes.

Its time for both us to make a long awaited push to the top.​

​

 

[KillerRoo]

I myself took charge of recently relegated Newcastle in my save, had to make 30 signings to get the team back up...

 

[PatrickLFC]

Great choice Jack, good luck!

 

[Raaritsgozilla]

Great choice! Hopefully its a stepping stone back up

 

[DerbyJack]

I feel I might be in for the same kind of treatment KillerRoo!

Cheers Patrick but I can't say I used any judgement other then my wallet!

Thanks Raar, I hope its a quick step as well!

---

Time to make myself comfortable in the North East.

Truth be told getting comfy here is going to be no small feat. Despite only being in the club for a matter of days, the board have already gone to great lengths to ensure that I aim for nothing less then automatic promotion this season.

Guess I best get down to reviewing just how I'm going to achieve it...

Newcastle are heading into the Championship with a team that quite frankly shouldn't have even been close to the relegation zone in the top flight.

As you might expect these under-achieving players are not keen to hang around as the going gets tough.

With England's second tier once again shaping up to be one of the toughest imaginable, its going to take all I have to keep the squad together and more importantly on course to make an instant return to the promised land. Time to check out two of the finest Magpies currently in the team...

A real scoop of a signing for Newcastle. The former Chelsea player is one of the best holding midfielders in the Country and the Serbian certainly knows it. Having been at the club for just one underwhelming season, the clubs current midfield general is one of the first to place his transfer request on my table. This is an all too familiar feeling.

The first Newcastle player to score four goals in the Premier League and also the first player to be departing the club. Having had a bid accepted from Liverpool before I even got through the door, I get to idly watch as the Dutch winger slips through my fingers. A solid all round winger, Liverpool have made a steal in signing the player at the clubs lowest ebb.




Quite frankly making any attempt at evaluating the squad is completely and utterly pointless.

Everyone wants out.

With the transfer window just hours away, it seems I'm going to be in for a bumpy ride. With the first-team apparently all up for the grabs, I'm preparing myself for one almighty rebuilding job.

​

 

[DerbyJack]

This was one of the most hapless transfer windows I have ever experienced.

Having taken over at numerous clubs that have been relegated in my career, I was used to dealing with want-away stars and the exit being busier then your average high-street but this...this was ridiculous...​

The club has been picked clean.

The pace of the departures was continuous through-out the entire window as one-by-one almost my entire first team departed the club. With three of the clubs biggest stars leaving for big money transfers just days into the window it certainly set the tone for the remainder of it as I tried in vain to keep them at the club.

With my defence, midfield and even goalkeeping icon Tim Krul departing the club, only a handful of players remained loyal to the club including strikers Charlie Austin and Adam Armstrong. At least that's one area of the pitch I wont need to work on?

There is however one positive about selling nearly Thirty Players...

...My transfer budget is now huge.​

From: Tottenham Hotspur
Cost: £5.5 million​

Having impressed within the sticks for Stoke City, Butland secured a big money transfer to table topping Spurs before being wasted on the side-lines of the squad. Just two seasons later and a transfer listing ensure we would snap up one of England's best keepers for a knock down price. A superb signing to get things started.​

From: Manchester United
Cost: £8.25 million

​

One of the brightest young English talents has been squandered by current Red Devils manager, Roberto Martinez but a quick transfer across the country could be just what the exciting midfielder needs. As a player with bags of potential I will be quick to throw Marcus in the deepend to get him back on track to the very top of the game.​

From: Derby County
Cost: £9 million​

Another exciting English talent joins the club in the shape of Derby's Will Hughes. As an avid Derby fan myself I can vouch that the blonde midfielder certainly has moments when he looks like a potential Leading Premier League midfielder. With him now under my wing it will be my chance to ensure he lives up to his much talked about potential.​

From: Benfica
Cost: £3.5 million​

An exciting Argentine prospect is next to arrive at the club as we bring in Damian Tocalli. Having earned rave reviews for his performances with Argentina's youth team, I was surprised to see Benfica let the incredibly talented winger leave for such a knock down price. The Nineteen year old goes straight into my starting eleven.​

From: Valencia
Cost: £3.6 million​

The left back position was weak in the squad even before the recent exodus of players but with the arrival of young Spaniard, Toni Lato we now have a player who could quite easily tie down the position for the foreseeable future. With blistering acceleration and iron-clad determination he is certain to make an impact down the left alongside Tocalli.​

From: Bayern Munich
Cost: £5 million​

Bayern became a hotbed of activity in the transfer window as they listed numerous young hopefuls, with us able to ****** just the one in the shape of Gianluca Gaudino. The Spanish and Italian named German was certainly one **** of a capture for a Championship club with his impressive all round ability sure to make him a leading player in the league.​

From: Rome
Cost: £8 million​

Continuing my trend of bringing in young prospects the next arrivals is one of the hottest talents to emerge from South Africa in...well forever. Mbhele might be just nineteen but he is already shaping up to be one solid centre-back. An impressive tackling ability and strength that defies his age sees him straight onto the team-sheet.​

From: Swansea
Cost: £2.9 million​

I was in desperate need of wing-backs for the coming season and when Swansea listed Welsh right-back Aaron Lewis, I jumped at the opportunity. He might not be as exciting a prospect as the rest of my signings but the Twenty One year old is more then capable of making a difference in this division and beyond.​

From: RedBull Leipzig
Cost: £375k​

With Marcus Rashford in the side, the lead role for my solitary central attacking midfielder was locked down but the team is in desperate need for depth as Polish prodigy, Kamil Wojtkowski arrives to provide us with cover. However with three full caps already to his name the exciting midfielder is not just here to make up the numbers.​

From: Malmo FF
Cost: £850k​

Aside from apparently having the eyes of a soulless demon, Magnus Mattson is also a defender filled with potential. More adept in the physical side of the game, Magnus will be a tough man to shake off when it comes to winning the ball in those important situations. With a threadbare squad the young Swede is in for a baptism of fire.




That was one **** of a transfer window.

With the majority of my first team departing, just ten players arriving to replace them and with a majority of those unless just old enough to start shaving, it seems me and the boys are both going to be in for one extremely testing season ahead.

Bring it on....I guess.​

​

 

[ninjaskill]

That is a busy transfer window even by my standards, Gaudino and Butland are great pickups

 

[PatrickLFC]

Hectic transfer window, can't wait to see how the season pans out!

 

[KillerRoo]

I too found myself getting Rashford with Newcastle, can do amazing things but god sometimes he just refused to score... good luck with him. you should see if you can sign Gray, he will dominate the Championship and do great things in the EPL

 

[Raaritsgozilla]

Some good gains there, but no free transfers floating about?

 

[DerbyJack]

I don't know how you manage it to be honest Ninja! Your signings are also always a lot more convincing then my own!

Thanks as always Patrick. Here's hoping!

I like the little that I have seen of him so far KillerRoo. Hoping we can get the best out of him. I once signed Callum Gribbin in my previous career for Leicester and he turned out to be amazing. I'm hoping Rashford can do the same.

Thanks Raar. I did try but in the end I only ended up trialing the recently released Martin Skrtel but we certainly seemed to be a long way apart in terms of wages.

​

---

Pre-season
2019/20

13th July 2019
Friendly

We kick of our pre-season with a miniature tour of France. First up is lowly Vannes and the non-league French side are soon given a good hiding as we run out comfortably four goal winners. A goal from Argentinian winger, Tocalli in his first appearance in a Newcastle shirt has already got the fans excited for the future.


17th July 2019
Friendly

A slightly tougher challenge awaited us just four days later as Ligue Two's Amiens welcomes us to their beautiful town in the North of France but our promising striker Adam Armstrong was in no mood for sight seeing as he destroys the minnows with a two minute salvo with new arrival Will Hughes capping an efficient performance.


20th July 2019
Friendly

Finishing off our tour is another non-league French side, Colomiers. Having comfortably thrashed the previous two teams, we repeated the feat with an impressive opening salvo as two of the clubs only surviving players from the previous season get us off to a flying start with young Roberts putting a gloss on the finish before even thirty minutes of football. No messing around.


24th July 2019
Friendly

Having stomped on most of the small clubs in Northern France we make the short trip through Flanders and into Germany. Having gone from a club locked deep into a Europa League campaign it was a welcome return to action against some of the continents finest clubs with new arrival Marcus Rashford setting us on our way to an impressive two goal victory.


27th July 2019
Friendly

Having returned to Europe we instead welcomed a European side in the shape of Turkish club, Kasimpasa. An intrigued crowd gathered to see their newly acquired first time at St James's Park for the first time but it was old boy, Andros Townsend that took the plaudits with a game winning brace.


3rd August 2019
Friendly

We round off the warm up to the forth coming season with our traditional game against neighboring Gateshead. The Vanarma North side could do little to resist their dominant parent club as we showed no mercy before running out five goal winners. With three of our loyal players all finding the score-sheet it seems the cream has risen to the top.




A comfortable pre-season in the end as we cruised to victories in each game, leaving us heading into a challenging Championship season full of confidence.

With Townsend, Armstrong and Austin all enjoying an impressive warm-up to the league it seems that despite signing a host of impressive young players I'm going to be heavily reliant on these three loyal veterans.

​

 

[DerbyJack]

August 2019​

11th August 2019
Premier League

The season gets underway with an absolute barn-stormer as two of the seasons heavy favourites go toe to toe in an entertaining draw at St James's Stadium. New signing, Marcus Rashford announces himself to the home crowd with a well-taken opening goal before the Canaries mount an impressive come-back only stopped courtesty of a sloppy challenge in the box, a straight red-card and a well taken penalty from veteran Charlie Austin. A dramatic start to life in the Championship


16th August 2019
Premier League

Following our dramatic draw we pull of a convincing victory over a strong Burnley side as Rashford continues to show the Red Devils just what they missed out on, with a superb two minute brace. Joining him on the score-sheet is substitute Adam Armstrong as the loyal striker grabs a quick-fire brace of his own to seal all three points.


20th August 2019
Championship

Our hard start to the season continues as we go up against another promotion contender, Fulham. The Cottagers have made some convincing pushes for promotion in the previous few seasons but despite their impressive improvements they fell well short of making the mark against us as a late flurry see's us pick up our second four goal victory in a row.


24th August 2019
Championship

Bournemouth have joined us in a return to the Championship but it seems the Cherries are certainly taking their time getting used to life back in the second tier. A goal on the half-hour mark from Charlie Austin ensured that the club would remain worrying low on the table at this early stage of the season.


27th August 2019
Capital One Cup - 2nd Round

The League Cup is quickly upon us in the Championship and despite fielding a much weaker team we manage to overcome fellow relegated side, Peterborough with a narrow one goal victory. Shadow Striker, Rashford scored the only goal of the game within just seconds of kick-off before sitting out the entire second-half as we clung on to the win.


31st August 2019
Championship

Back to the league and rounding off what has been an incredibly testing start to the season we pick up our fouth successive victory in a row as we sneak past Sheffield Wednesday. The Owls rarely managed to trouble Jack Butland in the net, whilst Austin continued his impressive start to the season, scoring the only goal of the game from a well worked kick-off.


August 2019
Championship

Following our strong start to the season we make a rampant start to life in the Championship, shooting to the top of the table and keeping the likes of Norwich and Fulham at bay already. With a long way to go in the season, the favourites have already made their way in and around the promotion spots. We could be in for a real battle here.

​