hate to break it to you but I've already posted that joke on this thread. Soz
The Joke Thread
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hate to break it to you but I've already posted that joke on this thread. Soz
Haha xD That's a good
Hate to break it to you but someone also posted it a week or two ago in another thread. Wasn't funny then either.
D
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its a shame most of the good jokes these days are disgustingly racist lol, anyway heres another
Knock Knock
Whos there'
Cornflakes
Cornflakes who
Ill tell you next week its a cereal
Arent i a joker
Knock Knock
Whos there'
Cornflakes
Cornflakes who
Ill tell you next week its a cereal
Arent i a joker
It was funnier when Peter Kay said it.
Ah is he still stealing jokes then the fat ****?
Everybodys favourite racist comedian Jim Davidson said it over 11 years ago when i saw him at Glasgows SECC!
****** hate peter kay!!!!
leeumoconnor69
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Some West Ham United supporters were still confused as to why their kit appeared to have a white patch in the middle of their teams shirts last year.
The West Ham United chairman wanted to clear up once and for all that the reason they covered up their XL sponsor last season was because the airline company was failing.
After reviewing his statment, the club immediatly launched their new kit that would put it into simpler terms for the supporters.
View attachment 15492
The West Ham United chairman wanted to clear up once and for all that the reason they covered up their XL sponsor last season was because the airline company was failing.
After reviewing his statment, the club immediatly launched their new kit that would put it into simpler terms for the supporters.
View attachment 15492
D
Deleted member 79730
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whats the national sport of israel?
Jui jitsu
Jui jitsu
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants ***, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really ******.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants ***, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really ******.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Parker_Rangers_1873
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wits the difference between a headgehog and the celtic team bus
the celtic team bus has the ****** on the inside
the celtic team bus has the ****** on the inside
Two midget twins go to a hotel for their birthday. They go to bed in seperate rooms and one of the midgets hires a prostitute. His twin becomes jealous as he hears groaning all night long. In the morning as they get breakfast the jealous twin says "sounds like you had a good night then...".
The other midget replies "I wish... I couldn't get up onto the bed."
The other midget replies "I wish... I couldn't get up onto the bed."
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?" she asked.
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." he said.
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"
The man explains, "**** thing must be an hour fast."
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?" she asked.
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." he said.
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"
The man explains, "**** thing must be an hour fast."