The Joke Thread

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Scientists have just revealed that the dust explosion didn't come from a volcano, apparently someone was cleaning out the Arsenal trophy cabinet..
 
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Why did the frog cross the road? To get his driving license.
Do you get it?

Neither did he.
 
Jack Fulham said:
Bit rich coming from a City fan? :S
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Heard it on the radio, edited it to the original joke aswell.

But yeah, pressure hasn't been there for us to win anything because we haven't really been in the same league since the last time we won something. 8-|

Anyway, lets not turn this into a debate, keep the good jokes coming.
 
I've spent my entire life researching the multiples of zero and it has amounted to nothing.
 
Dont turn this into a trophy thing, history doesnt matter, its about the present and the future

Whats the difference between my pencil case and poland

My pencil has a ruler

---------- Post added at 07:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:55 PM ----------

I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."

I said, "I think my ***** tastes funny"
 
A girl just walked past me who was so pretty I forgot to look at her ****.
 
Yo mums like a bowling ball
She gets fingered and ****** up an allly
But she always comes up for more
 
A blonde walked into a bar
OUCHH!!!

---------- Post added at 02:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:36 PM ----------

What's the difference between a ***** and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
 
When David Beckham scores I drink BECKS.
When Paul Scholes scores I drink SKOL.
When Tommy Miller scores I drink Millers.
Thank GOD David Seaman was a goalie!

found this on a joke site and found it pretty funny
 
How can you tell if your wife is dead?

The *** will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
 
whats the difference between a ginger and a brick .....

a brick will eventually get laid
 
So, any Liverpool or Manchester United fans attending the Reading and Leeds Festival this year?
 
After my recent heart surgery, my Doctor told me to stay away from large crowds, too much excitement, and loud noises. He wrote me out a season ticket for Celtic Park.:P
 
Why are hurricanes sometimes named after women?

When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
 
Went hiking with my mate the other day, half way to the summit I fell, slipping a disc in my spine. He looked at me and grinned saying "I guess you could call this 'Brokeback' mountain".

"Very funny, but I haven't broken my back."

"I know, but I'm about to **** you."
 
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