The Joke Thread

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Miggo97 that's the worst joke I've ever heard... It's not even worth trawling google for a good tumble weed picture.
 
My wife told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat ******** today.

"Really!?"

"No," she replied, "April Fogarbnsrgabsjg...."

That'll teach her to try to be funny...
 
Lee said:
Miggo97 that's the worst joke I've ever heard... It's not even worth trawling google for a good tumble weed picture.
Click to expand...

I already did that :$

---------- Post added at 12:11 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:10 AM ----------

DMF said:
My wife told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat ******** today.

"Really!?"

"No," she replied, "April Fogarbnsrgabsjg...."

That'll teach her to try to be funny...
Click to expand...

Omg,roflmao.

I love it :wub:
 
Gingers, Because even fat people need to laugh.
 
Ha ha haha hee he he he ho ho ho
Thank you all for your jokes. I am very please that you all make me laugh .
 
Got arrested in B&Q last week for assault on a black woman. My father told me to get a Black & Decker.

What do a blonde and spagetti have in common? They both wriggle when you eat them.
 
Black and Decker... XD

I can't see an end.
I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a home anymore.

Definitely time for a new keyboard

==========================

I noticed that the local convent has no security around the building, so I helped myself.

No 'fence.

Nun taken.

========================

I was having dinner with MC Hammer and Chico last night when I asked if anyone had the time.

It was absolute carnage.
 
Two policemen knocked on my door earlier and asked me to come down to the station to help them with their enquiries.

I told them to **** off though, I mean, it's not like they ever pop into my office to give me a helping hand with the accounts
 
A Nottingham science teacher, Peter Harvey repeatedly smashed a pupil's skull in with a 3kg weight after being called a psycho.

Its a good job they didn't call him a paedo... Then the kid really would have been ******.
 
a boy was playing with himself in the bath when his dad walked in and said,

“Son, if you don't stop doing that, you'll go blind.”

The boy said,

“Dad, I'm over here.”

======================

*** is like air its only important when youre not getting any.
 
Hope it's not too soon..


Apparently Gary Coleman had been at death's door for quite some time before he died.

Poor little ****** just couldn't reach the handle.
 
DMF said:
Hope it's not too soon..


Apparently Gary Coleman had been at death's door for quite some time before he died.

Poor little ****** just couldn't reach the handle.
Click to expand...

Someone's a fan of Sickipedia :p
 
"Me and the wife love to embarrass our son in front of his mates."

"But ******* in the school car park was probably taking it a bit far."


Knock knock

Who's there ?

David

David Who ?

Gordon open the ******* door and get out of my house.

---------- Post added at 03:23 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:21 AM ----------

rnixon said:
Someone's a fan of Sickipedia :p
Click to expand...

mon that site daily.

Thats where i heard mine earlier :P
 
Nice to see "Own Goals" getting a call-up for England given his form for United this season :P
 
Today I finally brought my girlfriend of two years home to meet my parents.

They thought she was a bit young.
 
These new 3D TVs are so realistic. I fell asleep whilst watching a Liverpool game and when I woke my ******* wallet was gone

sorry to anyone on this site from liverpool if i have offended you
 
Three men were stuck in the desert and they saw a camel, one said 'i support Liverpool so I'll eat the liver.' The other man said 'I support Hartlepool so I'll eat the heart'. The last man said 'I support Arsenal but I'm not very hungry'
 
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