The Joke Thread
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psycho1970
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Alex fergurson Holds press conference for new signing Bebe
Journo- You paid 7.5m for a homeless orphan ?
Fergie- Yes but his wage is only £5pw and acommadation (broom cupboard at Old Trafford).
Journo- So how long before we see him up front with rooney ?
Fergie- You wont I plan to turn him into a sweeper.
Journo- You paid 7.5m for a homeless orphan ?
Fergie- Yes but his wage is only £5pw and acommadation (broom cupboard at Old Trafford).
Journo- So how long before we see him up front with rooney ?
Fergie- You wont I plan to turn him into a sweeper.
NunoPeixinho
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Why is the Arsenal team smelly ?
So blind people can mock them too !
So blind people can mock them too !
... Riiiiight.
NunoPeixinho
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I friend of mine told me that, dont get upset please (A)
Believe me, I'm not upset. I love blind jokes as much as the next guy, but I prefer funny ones
NunoPeixinho
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Believe me, I'm not upset. I love blind jokes as much as the next guy, but I prefer funny ones
I thought it was funny that is why I posted, maybe you have tough humour, which sometimes is good
El Ninooo.
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I went to a muslim strip club last night
we all started the chant
come on take it off, take it off
SHOW YOUR FACE
we all started the chant
come on take it off, take it off
SHOW YOUR FACE
Ride The Walrus
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Why did the sperm cross the road?
Cause I put on the wrong socks this morning
Cause I put on the wrong socks this morning
I don't get it. :$
Ride The Walrus
A pretty cool guy.
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What a woman says...
This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!
What a man hears...
blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
-------------------------------------------------
A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London. He meets a wild girl, and she takes him upstairs. She takes off her pants and her panties.
He looks between her legs, and he says, "What's that?"
She says, "It's me lower mouth."
He says, "What do you mean, 'your lower mouth?'"
She says, "Just what I said, it's me lower mouth. It's got a moustache... It's got lips..."
He asks, "Has it got a tongue in it?"
She says, "Not yet. . ."
This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!
What a man hears...
blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
-------------------------------------------------
A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London. He meets a wild girl, and she takes him upstairs. She takes off her pants and her panties.
He looks between her legs, and he says, "What's that?"
She says, "It's me lower mouth."
He says, "What do you mean, 'your lower mouth?'"
She says, "Just what I said, it's me lower mouth. It's got a moustache... It's got lips..."
He asks, "Has it got a tongue in it?"
She says, "Not yet. . ."
Irish Scouse
Bob Kelso. ❥
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Why can't women drive?
Because there's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, somebody already told her twice.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Trick question, feminists can't change anything!
No offence intended
---------- Post added at 07:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:46 PM ----------
Edit:
Why do women have small feet?So they can get closer to the sink.
Because there's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, somebody already told her twice.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Trick question, feminists can't change anything!
No offence intended
---------- Post added at 07:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:46 PM ----------
Edit:
Why do women have small feet?So they can get closer to the sink.
heres a few ive found on sickipedia 
I went round my mate's house yesterday and his kids were running round the house screaming.
He looked at me and said, "Don't ever have kids mate."
I said, "Hard work?"
He said, "No, you're an ugly ****.,
BBC News: Two pedestrians die in collision.
****, how fast must they have been walking? ,
I was having *** the other day, banging away, when suddenly I stopped mid-thrust and stood really still.
"What are you doing?"
"Something I learnt from online ****. It's called 'buffering'.",
I went round my mate's house yesterday and his kids were running round the house screaming.
He looked at me and said, "Don't ever have kids mate."
I said, "Hard work?"
He said, "No, you're an ugly ****.,
BBC News: Two pedestrians die in collision.
****, how fast must they have been walking? ,
I was having *** the other day, banging away, when suddenly I stopped mid-thrust and stood really still.
"What are you doing?"
"Something I learnt from online ****. It's called 'buffering'.",