The Joke Thread

[Fothermucker]

Then credit it accordingly on your OP.

Whereas you wouldn't if people reference GB's baby dying?

It was below the belt.

Then shouldn't everybody be doing that, considering most of these jokes aren't made up by the people themselves? Just relax man, I didn't mean it in a nasty way, it's just a joke

 

[StuW]

Sickipedia's joke, not mine :3

I personally thought the joke was sick. I would like to you to remove from the thread, as that is so far below the belt, you are punching toes.

 

[Fothermucker]

I personally thought the joke was sick. I would like to you to remove from the thread, as that is so far below the belt, you are punching toes.

Okay fair enough if that's how you feel

 

[cfc12345]

Santa is the only bearded man who can legally empty his sack in children's bedrooms.

 

[StuW]

Okay fair enough if that's how you feel

Thanks, some may find it funny, but a lot will find that sick/offensive.

 

[Irish Scouse]

Then credit it accordingly on your OP.

99% are from Sickipedia.

 

[Fothermucker]

Thanks, some may find it funny, but a lot will find that sick/offensive.

Yeah I understand. Sorry

 

[cfc12345]

Walking into the pub earlier and some **** piped up, "Alright Dave, you've put a bit on haven't you!"

I said, "Yes mate. Every time I **** your wife she makes me a sandwich."

 

[DMF]

It's getting close to the time of year again when that fat ******* with the beard brings presents round for the kids.

Or as my wife likes to call her "Mum".

 

[Shay Given]

To be fair Fothermucker did give warnings and spoilered it

If yous want it gone then DMF needs to remove it from his quote as well

 

[frederickooo]

A womans just had a baby and the doctor comes in and says "i have some good news and bad news"
the woman says "whats the bad news?"
doctor says "the bad news is your babys ginger"
so the woman says "whats the good news then?"
doctor says "it's dead"

 

[Holte ender eating a pie]

^omdz lol

 

[LP94]

Deleted by request !

 

[Jack]

Was fine until the racist remark came into play. Could you remove this? Or post a joke that isn't racist?

 

[LP94]

Was fine until the racist remark came into play. Could you remove this? Or post a joke that isn't racist?

Will do mate

 

[oneunited]

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because of my obsession.

She said, "I'm sick of it. You actually believe that you're a Transformer. It's stupid. I've had enough and I'm leaving you."

I said, "But, Baby, I can change."

She said, "There you go again!"

 

[Jamie.]

So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...

 

[nilelg5]

Sky New: Shoppers Set To Smash Records Despite Snow

So the ******* students have broken in to HMV now, is nothing sacred?

all credit to sicki

 

[philly]

I went out for a nice meal one day when the waiter asked, "How would you like your steak, sir?"

"The same way I like my ***," I replied.

He smiled and said, "So, rare?"

****.

From Sickipedia

 

[blank 27]

"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."
(YEAH COOL RAP hellroker!)