The Joke Thread

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From Now On, Periods Will Be Known As Shark Week -

INuWt.jpg
 
How'D Ya Kill 1000Flies At Once,

Slap a africian kid in the face.
 
a gay man walks up to scouscer in a bar he trys hes luck and asks for a ********. the scouscer knocks him out within seconds. the bar tender Walks up to the scouse and says what was that for? the scouser replys something about a job.
 
Ramires said:
How'D Ya Kill 1000Flies At Once,

Slap a africian kid in the face.
Click to expand...

Ramires said:
a gay man walks up to scouscer in a bar he trys hes luck and asks for a ********. the scouscer knocks him out within seconds. the bar tender Walks up to the scouse and says what was that for? the scouser replys something about a job.
Click to expand...

How do you*
an*
Scouser*
tries*
replies*

lal this post is funnier than your jokes.
 
One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out.
When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.
The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."
So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his **** without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.
The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"
The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
 
Man goes on a **** site and see's a clip of his wife having ***.

Man to himself: Thank God it was just a movie!
 
why did peter crouch?


cos he saw Darren bent



What do you call a woman who stands behind a goal?


annete
 
one day a boyfriend and girlfriend are having s3x in the girlfriends house and five minutes later the girls going " Oh Baby Baby Ohhh!"

the mum rushes into the room and shouts out "what are you doing?!"

The girlfriend goes "mum get out we're having s3x!"

mum then says "Oh thank god! i thought you we're listening to Justin Beiber"

LOL Classic :P
 
BetterThanMourinho said:
one day a boyfriend and girlfriend are having s3x in the girlfriends house and five minutes later the girls going " Oh Baby Baby Ohhh!"

the mum rushes into the room and shouts out "what are you doing?!"

The girlfriend goes "mum get out we're having s3x!"

mum then says "Oh thank god! i thought you we're listening to Justin Beiber"

LOL Classic :P
Click to expand...

Does your mummy not let you say ***?
 
Liverpool: Hi lads, how much for Carroll?
Newcastle: 35 million, lol j...
Liverpool: Done

(Obviously only a joke, don't be angry :p)
 
I don't believe in all that stuff about God being the Architect of the world.

But if he was, I don't like the man.

Nobody in their right mind would get bored of dinosaurs.
 
BetterThanMourinho said:
one day a boyfriend and girlfriend are having s3x in the girlfriends house and five minutes later the girls going " Oh Baby Baby Ohhh!"

the mum rushes into the room and shouts out "what are you doing?!"

The girlfriend goes "mum get out we're having s3x!"

mum then says "Oh thank god! i thought you we're listening to Justin Beiber"

LOL Classic :P
Click to expand...

Facebook much?
 
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