The Joke Thread

[Joel`]

My missus looked hot today...

I could see her through the window as our house burnt down.

 

[taida]

As a huge fan of the Olympics, I'm dreading 2012.

Poland are looking good and with the home advantage they're gonna be tough to beat...

 

[Mike]

My girlfriend said to me, "Play one more game of FIFA and I'm moving out."

I told her, "Give me eight minutes and I'll help you pack your bags."

 

[Neall]

At the end of the season who will finish higher, Kolo Toure or Man City?

 

[CJACKO11]

A man and his wife approach the ticket office at Plymouth Argyle, the man hands over £20 and says 'two please' The man behind the counter then hands him a piece of paper with the players names on it and replies 'which two would you like sir?'

 

[Irish Scouse]

Received this in a text, spoilers here for a reason..

Spoiler

I was standing outside the pub having a smoke when a man in a wheel chair approached me and asked, "Why do you smoke when you don't have to?", I answered "Why do you have trainers on?".

 

[*JK*]

I know its in the spoiler but that is actually very cruel seeing as my grandad has got MS.

 

[Irish Scouse]

I know its in the spoiler but that is actually very cruel seeing as my grandad has got MS.

Not the thread for you pal, things on here are supposed to be taken with a pinch of salt, unless directly aimed at someone, then you can rape em.

 

[Nixon]

I know its in the spoiler but that is actually very cruel seeing as my grandad has got MS.

It's not. It's a joke. Nearly every joke makes fun of something, and I don't see you complaining about the others.

 

[CJACKO11]

Just a quick question. I have recieved a joke about the hillsborough tragedy but dont want to post it until i get some feedback. Remember its a joke, no worse than maddie jokes etc.

 

[Irish Scouse]

Put it in spoilers and mention it before, so those who would take offence aren't forced to read it. Tis what I'd do.

 

[DMF]

I'd do the same as Irish Scouse tbf..

Your mum is like a shotgun.. Two ***** and she's ready to blow!

 

[CJACKO11]

Put it in spoilers and mention it before, so those who would take offence aren't forced to read it. Tis what I'd do.

Ok mate will do. How do you use the spoilers in a post?? Sorry just never used them before

 

[broxi713]

What do you call an Irish woman with a big ginger *****??




Neil Lennon's mum

 

[StuW]

Just a quick question. I have recieved a joke about the hillsborough tragedy but dont want to post it until i get some feedback. Remember its a joke, no worse than maddie jokes etc.

My uncle died there, so if I see it, don't expect it to get a good reply.

 

[Joel`]

Ok mate will do. How do you use the spoilers in a post?? Sorry just never used them before

Spoiler

[.spoiler][/spoiler.]Remove the .

 

[Ride The Walrus]

My uncle died there, so if I see it, don't expect it to get a good reply.

My Dad was in it too.

 

[DMF]

My uncle died there, so if I see it, don't expect it to get a good reply.

My Dad was in it too.

Then just don't open the post when he puts it in spoilers. If you do and get offended, not really his fault.

As long as he warns you, and puts it in spoilers so you don't have to read it - not much more he can do.

 

[Ride The Walrus]

Then just don't open the post when he puts it in spoilers. If you do and get offended, not really his fault.

As long as he warns you, and puts it in spoilers so you don't have to read it - not much more he can do.

Obviously, that's why Stu said if he sees it, he won't be happy. Telling him to put it in spoilers. oO)

 

[CJACKO11]

A light joke about the Hillsbrough tragedey so if you feel you may be offended please dont look.

Spoiler

We asked 100 Liverpool fans if they wanted to see terraces re-introduced at football grounds. 2 said yes, 2 said maybe and 96 were dead against it.