The Joke Thread

[Shay Given]

Don't read if you can't take a joke about England.

Spoiler

Ben Foster, Robert Green, Joe Hart;

Leighton Baines, Gary Cahill, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Phil Jagielka, Glen Johnson, Joleon Lescott, John Terry, Kyle Walker;

Gareth Barry, Stewart Downing, Matthew Jarvis, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Jack Wilshere, Ashley Young;

Darren Bent, Andy Carroll, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Wayne Rooney.

that is just hilarious

oO)

 

[alicwkd]

Don't read if you can't take a joke about England.

Spoiler

Ben Foster, Robert Green, Joe Hart;

Leighton Baines, Gary Cahill, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Phil Jagielka, Glen Johnson, Joleon Lescott, John Terry, Kyle Walker;

Gareth Barry, Stewart Downing, Matthew Jarvis, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Jack Wilshere, Ashley Young;

Darren Bent, Andy Carroll, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Wayne Rooney.

Isn't that the squad to play Wales? Would have made sense if you had shown the world cup squad but some of those players weren't even at the WC. We haven't played Wales yet so how can you say they are a joke

---------- Post added at 03:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:34 AM ----------

I sent my dyslexic husband a text today telling him to get our little boy a new outfit from M&S.

He came back with a gimp ball, mask and studded leather thong.

Bit harsh but quite funny

 

[LP94]

My wife really fulfilled my sexual needs last night in bed.

She died

 

[Mike]

I'm confident that with Aston Villa's pedigree and support they will be a top four club next season. Maybe they'll even get third place.

But I doubt they'd be good enough for automatic promotion.

 

[bijak]

My wife really fulfilled my sexual needs last night in bed.

She died

that's disgusting

 

[Alex]

that's disgusting

That's ****** hilarious.

 

[bijak]

My wife really fulfilled my sexual needs last night in bed.

She died

actually I don't understand what do you mean with that.
did you have *** with her ghost?
or did you have *** with her in your dream?
or did you have *** with her until she died on the bed?

I was thinking that you had *** with her until, and then she died on the bed because of you were going too hard on her...

 

[oneunited]

actually I don't understand what do you mean with that.
did you have *** with her ghost?
or did you have *** with her in your dream?
or did you have *** with her until she died on the bed?

I was thinking that you had *** with her until, and then she died on the bed because of you were going too hard on her...

 

[DMF]

It means he had *** with her because she was dead.

Google the term; Necrophilia.

 

[Sam]

actually I don't understand what do you mean with that.
did you have *** with her ghost?
or did you have *** with her in your dream?
or did you have *** with her until she died on the bed?

I was thinking that you had *** with her until, and then she died on the bed because of you were going too hard on her...

You fail at life

Just laugh and get on with it XD

 

[taida]

For the next Comic Relief:

Have Cheryl Cole standing fully clothed, and Dawn French standing completely naked. For every 20 million received, Cheryl will take an item off, and Dawn will put one on.

Sorted.

 

[Sam]

For the next Comic Relief:

Have Cheryl Cole standing fully clothed, and Dawn French standing completely naked. For every 20 million received, Cheryl will take an item off, and Dawn will put one on.

Sorted.

I like half of that idea..... I have always had a thing for Dawn French.

 

[wheddon1]

Gareth Barry, Stewart Downing, Glen Johnson, Joleon Lescott All full England internationals..... There's the joke of the century for you!!

 

[Average Joe]

I like half of that idea..... I have always had a thing for Dawn French.

I suspect Lenny absolutely destroyed her. So even if you ever got her in the sack, she would be no use to you


:$

 

[Sam]

I suspect Lenny absolutely destroyed her. So even if you ever got her in the sack, she would be no use to you


:$

All my dreams have gone to waste

Btw I prefer that



To that:




On topic:

Wanna hear a story about my *****, actually I won't tell you, its too long

 

[DMF]

Want to hear a joke?
Yeah...
*****.

waits for someone to say "I don't get it"...

 

[Sam]

Want to hear a joke?
Yeah...
*****.

waits for someone to say "I don't get it"...

I don't get it.

You were asking for it.... Not the *****, the I don't get it bit.

 

[Alex]

Want to hear a joke?
Yeah...
*****.

waits for someone to say "I don't get it"...

That's a shocker DMF.

Disappointed in you really

 

[DMF]

I don't get it.

You were asking for it.... Not the *****, the I don't get it bit.

That's a shocker DMF.

Disappointed in you really

Better when someone genuinely says "I don't get it." Works in person a lot better.

 

[Sam]

Better when someone genuinely says "I don't get it." Works in person a lot better.

I would be even more disappointed if you told me that down at the pub in person