The Joke Thread

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I met this prostitute the other day, a Chelsea fan and had tattoo's of John Terry and Frank Lampard on the inside of her thighs.. She said "If you can guess these two tattoo's right i'll give you a free ****"

I replied "I don't know who those two ugly ******* are but the one in between with the big lips and curly hair is Drogba."
 
[h=6]Liverpool... The only city in the world that will get you arrested for watching M.I.L.F **** on the internet![/h]
 
[h=6]Liverpool... The only city in the world that will get you arrested for watching M.I.L.F **** on the internet![/h]

Oh no. XD

Did you know?
Manchester and Blackpool have the two highest rates of teenage pregnancies.
 
Oh no. XD

Did you know?
Manchester and Blackpool have the two highest rates of teenage pregnancies.
yeah but were not stereotyped that way, so there isn't jokes against it...
we don't really have much of a stereotype...
 
yeah but were not stereotyped that way, so there isn't jokes against it...
we don't really have much of a stereotype...

Yeah that's kinda what I was pointing out. If you actually look past the stereotypes and look at statistics then you'd notice that your own jokes are cancelled out.


You love football, but can't quite understand the rules
You have the strange desire to run aimlessly around in the wind, rain and snow

What are you?
 
Yeah that's kinda what I was pointing out. If you actually look past the stereotypes and look at statistics then you'd notice that your own jokes are cancelled out.
well my jokes aren't really cancelled out as i live in trafford, greater manchester which probably has one of the lowest in northern england. I know that not everyone in liverpool is in the dole and steals cars as i've been many times and some parts are ok southport, Hunts cross etc.
 
Torres turned up to a training session a couple of weeks back at Stamford Bridge, wearing a rucksack..

The security guard stopped him and said "WOAH, where do you think you're going with that rucksack? What do you have in it?"

Torres looked confused and replied "I've brought a machete, a gun and a hand grenade"

To which the security guard calmly replied "Ah, that's OK then, go on in.. For a minute there, I thought you'd brought your ******* football boots".


XD XD XD
 
how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?














answer:










































Norris :P
 
yeah I know. But some of my "jokes" I've told I ****** deserve one lol. Speaking of which.......
What is the Karate experts favorite beverage? Kara-tea.

I thank you (A)
 
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