The Joke Thread

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Joel` said:
America suffered another major jobs loss today!
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Ahhh. First Apple based joke of the day lol. I won't even try to better it because mine are just rotten to the core
 
An apple a day most certainly does not keep the doctor away, Mr jobs!

---------- Post added at 02:51 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:48 AM ----------

One could say it is goig pear shaped for them.
 
3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes have failed and the car is accelerating out of control.

So, the driver pumps the emergency brake, downshifts the gears, and rubs the wheels' rims against the curb. He finally wrestles the car to a stop. The three climb out and assess the situation.

Hardware tech: "Let's try and fix it. I'll crawl under the car and take a look. "

Systems analyst: "No. I think we should get someone qualified to fix it, a specialist in brakes."

Programmer: "Why don't we just get back in and see if it happens again?"

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It's a sad day for mankind when you search 'hardcore domination' and the results direct you to Call of Duty.
 
Apple has decided to abandon the development of his line of products for children after finding that iTouch Kids isn't a good idea for a name.
 
A man was driving and crashed into an Indian restaurent. He's now in a korma
 
Needed a password with 8 characters for the pc. So I used Snow White and the seven dwarves
 
ajt09 said:
Needed a password with 8 characters for the pc. So I used Snow White and the seven dwarves
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you got that off of the edinburgh fringe festival, list of top ten groups thingamagig on the bbc ;)
 
Tell you what.

I would 8 2 be an Arsenal fan right now....
 
I 8-2 break it to Arsenal fans, but I don't see them winning the title this year.
 
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Things people actually said in court, word for word:
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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[h=6]4 ***** men in a prison cell:
a rapist, a murderer, a psycho & a gay.

Rapist:
if there was a cat here, I'd **** it untill it gets weak.

Murderer:
once your done, i'll **** it to death.

pyscho:
oh yeah! once its dead, I'd **** it til i die!

The gay in the corner very softly says..

"meeowwwww .."[/h]
 
4 ***** men in a prison cell:
a rapist, a murderer, a ******, a Pyromaniac & a mazohist.

Rapist:
lets find some cat and rape it.
Murderer:
lets find some cat, kill it and then rape it.
Pyromaniac:
lets find some cat, burn it, kill it and then rape it.
******:
lets finde some cat, cut it legs, burn it, kill it and then rape it
Mazohist:
"Meeeoooow"
IMHO better verson :wub:
 
In his defence, Mads is right. Worst joke posted in the entire thread.

Nice try though.
 
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