The Joke Thread

My wife said she wanted to talk to me about my obsession with Football Manager.

However, I did not want to attend the meeting, so I sent my assistant instead.

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Wish me luck guys I've got a trial soon at Man United to see if I'm good enough for Alex Ferguson.

It's the biggest day in any young referee's career

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He's bald, he's red, he sleeps in Fergies bed. Howard Webb, Howard Webb!
 
Ohhh to be pwned by a Smart Asre ;)

b6c71d8e139012aebeb45369fbcc239f.jpg
 
David Beckham has turned down a move to PSG.
He's quoted as saying he did this because "German is a hard language to learn and I want to finish trying to learn American"
 
Ever noticed during international football matches, the score shows three letters to show which country is playing which, such as 'ENG 3-0 FRA' - I wonder if that's why I've never seen NIGeria play GERmany?...
 
I'm afro caribbean who can laugh at myself! *I see we're swamped with the political correctness gone mad brigade* Priceless!

Three Celtic fans walk into a bar... A priest, a poof and a pedo... And that was just the first one.
 
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Ever noticed during international football matches, the score shows three letters to show which country is playing which, such as 'ENG 3-0 FRA' - I wonder if that's why I've never seen NIGeria play GERmany?...

It would say NGA - GER...
 
Don't let your affection give you an infection. Put some protection on that erection
 
Ever noticed during international football matches, the score shows three letters to show which country is playing which, such as 'ENG 3-0 FRA' - I wonder if that's why I've never seen NIGeria play GERmany?...

Not Nigeria, but close enough;

nigeria-germany.png
 
‎"Wow, exactly as I left it!"- Thierry Henry on seeing Arsenal's trophy cabinet.
 
BREAKING NEWS.


Elton John is wanting to buy Aston Villa, he's heard a rumour that the strikers are Bent and Keane.
 
S.O.P.A. huh? well......S.O.P.A= Some Old Pedophiles Acting GAY AS ****!

from a youtube comment.
 
I saw a sign that made me **** myself.. It said "bathroom closed"
 
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