The story of a failed footballer

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You got stabbed? Nooo, I hope you make a 'recovery' and continue as Clyde manager.
 
As someone who has been to Cumbernauld many times have to give you credit for the realism mate XD
 
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So as you will all know by now I was brutally attacked and stabbed while I was out a leisurely stroll with my dog Dexter last month. Thankfully I am still here to tell the tale as the attacker tried and failed to do anything too life damaging to me. Turns out that being on heroin doesn't make you very accurate with a blade, thankfully. Having confessed to attacking me Paul Talent went on to admit that he was paid to attack me. The thing is, he's a heroin addict. So.. His version of events aren't too clear but from what both myself and the police have managed to come up with it would appear that; Paul was a random on the street, a woman offered him £200 to attack me, £200 is a lot of money for a junkie willing to do anything for their next fix. While we don't know for certain who paid Paul to attack me, I have a pretty good idea. I can't see us getting any proof of my suspicions though so I've decided I'm going to keep it to myself for now. Asides from almost being killed, the hardest thing for me is that I've missed over a month of action and work with my team, Clyde. In that time I've missed out on several matches too! I don't want to waste anymore time thinking about everything that has happened and I'm not even bothered that Paul Talent is set to get just six years in jail I want to move on from this. I lost another month and a bit of my life, only this time it was spent mostly in hospital rather that jail. I won't get that back but I will recover once again, I'm not taking the doctor's advice of plenty of rest and recuperation time. I'm going back to work. Our biggest game of the season is our next one and I'm thrilled I'm back for this one...

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In my absence my team have lost three matches, won two and drew one which in fairness is pretty similar to how inconsistent we have been all season. Still, they could've crumbled much more and I'm just happy that we've managed to hold on to fourth place in the league for the time being. Whilst I've been out of action David Ferguson has suffered another three month injury, David Crawford and Andrew Doig have departed from their trials at the club, Peter MacDonald picked up a two month injury and Dylan Easton has made his return from injury after five weeks out. We've been pretty poor defensively while Steven Ross has continued to carry us with his goal scoring form, twelve goals in twelve games is a great return from him. My cousin Conor has also continued to impress everyone involved with the club as he picked up another couple of runner up awards in the monthly handouts. Both player of the month and young player of the month runner up is a good achievement for an eighteen year-old. My assistant also followed my instructions to bring in Callum Harrison on loan from Colchester and he's a player that will give us some much needed depth to the midfield.

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I have to admit I was a little scared of this game. Maybe because it was my first back in charge in over a month or maybe it's because there was every chance we were going to get annihilated. Either way, fear was prevalent. We have a bit of a patchwork team due to injuries and so Dylan Easton was shifted out onto the wing and Callum Harrison was handed his first start in the centre of our midfield. Keinen Davis, on loan from Aston Villa, gave us the start of the match we never wanted; a goal inside ten minutes to put Dundee United 1-0 up. He doubled that lead five minutes from the interval. Despite it looking like we might be on the receiving end of a hammering it never quite happened as neither us nor United managed to find the net in the second half. We are now out of the cup!
 
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I had planned on doing match by match updates all the way through on this but to be perfectly honest it takes ages! Makes me avoid playing the save when I cba with the updates match by match too! So I'm going to finish this season then come up with something for next season.
 
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So the league season is now over and I bet you're wondering if we've done enough to make it to the playoffs this season? Well does a run of results consisting of five wins, five draws and four draws since our Scottish Cup game seem like it's worthy of promotion? Well not quite, but, we made the playoffs anyway!! Somehow.. It must be said that if we hadn't signed Steven Ross earlier on in the season then we would well and truly be nowhere at this point of the season without him. Twenty two goals in thirty one appearances for a wholly inconsistent side is a fantastic effort. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the subject of interest from clubs higher up the leagues. I am so happy that in my first season as a manager I actually managed to achieve something! I got us into a position my old mate Barry Ferguson didn't feel that even he was capable of! We met the minimum expectations set out by the board at the start of the season in all competitions too, something I'm really, really happy about. I'm glad I was able to repay the faith shown in me! Now for the playoffs...

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We went into this match knowing that although we were the home side and the overwhelming favourites this was not going to be an easy match. Peterhead were going to fight for their lives! We may have been the favourites going into the match but that wasn't something I agreed with. We planned to play on the counter and hit them on the break as they had two strikers upfront which signaled their intent to attack. I was a bit nervous coming up against Rory McAllister too as he is as prolific a striker as you will find in the divisions below the Scottish Premiership. We had a really, really dominant first half as we held 60% of the ball possession but yet, we had no clear cut chances at all. It was time to change from a counter attacking mentality and just play naturally and see what happened. Dylan Easton and Steven Ross just weren't cutting it today as our main attackers and on come Phil Johnstone and Peter MacDonald. Those two weren't any better. 0-0. We really should have won this match after playing like that, now we're really up against it when we go to play them away from home!

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It's as you were for the return tie against Peterhead as we didn't change a single thing to our line up. We controlled the first leg from start to finish and surely this would be the same outcome.. Dylan Easton with the first action of the game more or less as he steps up to take the corner and he hits it to the edge of the area and it's just out of Scott Ferguson's reach but he has time to adjust. He shoots, saved! But the ball rebounds back into play and it's Pat Kanyuka with the ball and he blasts it into the net! 1-0. Noooo it's offside. Easton looking to make the difference again as he plays a through ball into the path of Steven Ross and it's Ross with the shot... GOALLL! Ross is a bit out of position down the left wing but he's running, and running AND RUNNING he's with the keeper now, he shoots, goallllllllll! 2-0 to Clyde. Half time. Easton is off with a standing ovation as we approach the seventieth minute, he has been superb today! Job just about done and he'll be getting kept fresh for the final. Conor Bell and Stephen Maher are also subbed. It's Peterhead with the free kick here, long ball in towards Rory McAllister.. It's a goal for Peterhead! This game isn't over. Rory McAllister the birthday boy has changed the game. Fifteen minutes to go and it's 2-1.... The time wasting tactics are in full flow now as we approach the ninetieth minute. And it's over Clyde are through to the League One playoff finals! Montrose will be the team lying in wait and with the sides both having won a match each and drawn two in the four games that have been played between them this season it'll be a hard task picking a favourite for those games.

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For the third match running it was an unchanged line up for Clyde as the faith is shown on the side who played so well last time out. It was all Clyde in the opening twenty-five minutes of the game and that play was rewarded with a goal. Steven Ross received the ball from Scott Linton and went past a couple of players before letting fly with a twenty-five yarder! Great start. Seconds later and it's 2-0!! Sam Evans with the through ball and Steven Ross with goal number two! Forty minutes of play passes before anything significant arises in the match and who's the man making things happen still? It's Ross with the hat-trick and Dylan Easton the provider this time. The tie is not over yet as there is another leg to play and so, man of the match Steven Ross makes his way to the bench with the applause of a near two thousand supporters ringing in his ears. Superb display from him. Conor Bell and Scotty Ferguson also make way as Peter MacDonald, Martin McNiff and Phil Johnstone come on. The game pretty much faded away as a contest after that but in the end it's 3-0 to Clyde! That wasn't a result many expected that's for sure.

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It's once again as you were as Clyde name an unchanged line-up for their final match of the season. A wise decision or a bit of complacency? After a bit of an end to end first ten minutes it was the home side who took the lead and it was David Weatherston that grabbed the goal. Just shy of the half hour mark and it's all level once again! Who scored the equaliser? I'll let you guess. Montrose one Clyde one. Four goals needed for Montrose. Kieran McWalter red card just before half time and this has been a nightmare for the home side. The second half action is as follows........ Yeah, there wasn't any.

CLYDE HAVE BEEN PROMOTED TO LEAGUE ONE!​
 
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Now that my first season as a professional football manager is out of the way it's been good to reflect upon the last year now that I've got a break from it all for a short time. It was one **** of an up and down season and year for Clyde and me that's for sure. It's a miracle I'm even still here after being attacked back in December. Those were some dark days but with the love and support of my family and the club I got through it. It hurts to know that someone paid to have me attacked though. Having said that, with my suspicions of who it was that done it I really can't blame her, I guess it was a bit of intended karma that didn't fully come to fruition. As much as I try to, I'll never escape my past. My mind won't let me and neither will the outside world. In regards to the club and our season though things went as predicted by some. Not everyone thought we would manage to pull it off but we achieved all the targets set out by John Alexander and that's what counts. Being able to prove a point is an added bonus! It's a funny old game football. I was over the moon just to be offered a coaching position on the team by Barry Ferguson and then a couple of days later he's quitting the club, recommending me for the job and then I get it! Clyde might not be a Barcelona in terms of stature but I was still buzzing to get the job all the same. Which makes it harder to even think about leaving the club already but that's exactly what I'm thinking about doing. I can't see me being able to achieve much with the club next season, I just can't. I don't want to have a relegation on my CV this early on in my career. Then again, I don't want to be known as disloyal either. The board, players, staff and fans have been fantastic towards me here. I don't really know what to do.. Decisions, decisions.....

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We at Clyde football club are extremely happy to announce that Christopher Burns will be remaining with us for a further year. He kept us waiting but I'm glad that he's decided to commit to the club for at least another year. It's been a turbulent period for him and the club but we're all on our way to a better place now. We hope that the next season can bring about some more good times for the club and all involved.


- John Alexander, club chairman​
 

The board have placed some big expectations on us this year despite us only just getting promoted. It is expected that we will once again reach the playoffs for promotion, something I find a bit of a big ask if I'm honest. The media predict that we will manage to do this as well and they believe we can achieve third place. The board also expect us to reach the fourth round of the William Hill Scottish Cup and the third round of the Irn-Bru Cup. There aren't many expectations or hopes placed on the Betfred Cup and we've just to be 'competitive' in that. Cheers boss. Very kind. So anyway.. This season is either going to go very, very well or very, very bad. Time will tell but if it is to go well then these are the players below are likely to be the ones we're thanking.


Key players

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Steven Ross, I love the guy I really do. Having started last season with us on trial for a couple of weeks we quickly seen how good a player he is and signed him up. We haven't looked back since as he's went on to score twenty-seven goals in thirty-two appearances. He almost single handedly got us through the season and then the playoffs too! I expect big things from him once again.

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Last season we had rookie 'keeper Mark McMillan in goals and although he was decent enough it was clear that he didn't have the star quality we needed if we were to keep some vital clean sheets. So we made the move for Amadeusz Skrzyniarz who is well above the standard of player suited to this league. He is a very, very good capture for us. Hopefully with him in goals our defence will be just that little bit tighter.

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I have no idea how we've managed to make this signing as this guy is superb. He's had a bit of a falling out with Robbie Neilson at Hearts as he hadn't been playing enough last year. He is a really good player for a Championship team though so this is a really big coup for us to have landed his signature. I do agree with Neilson that he isn't Premiership standard but he's definitely above League One standard and that'll do me!

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The first player that I spent an actual transfer fee on is Liam Caddis and I must say, what an absolute snip we've got this guy for! Five thousand pounds? Everyday of the week. He is a complete all round and I'd be happy slotting him in at right back, wing back, right mid, right wing, centre mid and attacking mid. He's so versatile. Things didn't quite work out for him at St. Johnstone and he then found himself at Alloa which didn't quite work out either. He ended up just playing with Winton Rovers for the love of the game but I know for a fact he is buzzing to be playing professionally once again. Hopefully he can repay us big time.

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I expect Dylan Easton to be an influential player for us once again as the tricky midfielder is great at scaring the opposition defence when he runs at them. He got four goals and nine assists to his name this year and I'd be happy enough with at least the same from him. He has a bit of competition with Ryan McCord joining us so his place in the starting line up isn't guaranteed this time out.

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We managed to keep hold of Conor Bell by extending his loan for a further season. The only player in our squad last year to get into the League Two team of the year! Somehow Steven Ross wasn't there but that's another story. Bell is a raw player, not quite brilliant at anything but has the desire and heart of a player that wan't to be. He is a really pacey full back too and that's a big plus as all full backs should be fast and fit. He has a lot of work to do to make it at this level but as he's family I want to be the one to give him that chance. For now he will be our starting left back but I am open to signing a better player should one come along.
 
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Our first match of the season is as hard a match as we're likely to face all season as we paid a visit to Edinburgh to play Premiership side Hearts in the Betfred Cup. We started the match with four players making their debut as Quade Taylor, Ursene Mouanda, Ryan McCord and Liam Caddis lined up for us for the first time. The formation that worked so well for us in the playoffs last season is the one we chose for this game. We managed to hold out until the thirty-third minute before Prince Buaben got things underway for Hearts. Wes Burns followed that up with a double before half time. Thankfully, Hearts seemed to show mercy on us and played around with the ball rather than go for the jugular. Not the worst result.

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