It's a beautiful late spring morning here in the land of hearsay and tittle-tattle. The birds are singing, the sun is shining, the trees are swaying gently in the breeze, Daz white clouds drift lazily overhead. Amid this calming and inspirational nature, however, the Mill's laptop has crashed six times in the space of less than an hour. Full of the joys of spring we are not. Full of hate and anger and bile and fury and rage and bitterness we most certainly are. Nature = good. Rubbish technology = so bad it scrapes away at your sanity.
Anyway, after all the crashing and rebooting and crashing and throwing at the wall and screaming, we've got about 10 minutes to get you through another thrilling instalment in the ongoing soap opera that is the dispensation of scurrilous rumour and unfounded speculation.
The West Ham fire sale is set to begin in earnest.
Carlton Cole is being lined up as Andy Carroll's replacement at Newcastle in a cut-price £7m deal; Liverpool, Tottenham and
Arsenal want
Scott Parker; Aston Villa are ready to make
Rob Green an offer he can't refuse;
Matthew Upson could be heading to Stoke, along with
Mark Noble; Tottenham are keen admirers of
James Tomkins; Sunderland, Blackburn and Villa all want
Demba Ba;
Danny Gabbidon, Kieron Dyer and Lars Jacobsen will all be released; Monaco want
Hérita Ilunga; and
Julien Faubert and
Pablo Barrera will also be out the door to destinations unknown.
Arsenal's first team can't beat
Barcelona on the pitch, so the Gunners are trying to ensure they'll win any kickabouts in the playground.
Hector Bellerin is the latest 16-year-old in the Gunners' crosshairs. He's been at Barcelona for eight years, but has rejected a contract meaning Arsenal can step in, ahead of Chelsea, Manchester United and, er, Aston Villa, with a £400,000 compensation deal.
Everton's Leighton Baines is at the top of Roberto Mancini's shopping list, and, given the smooth and trouble-free transfer of Joleon Lescott from Goodison to Eastlands, we're sure no one can see any problems whatsoever there. Although the £25m reportedly set to be offered might have David Moyes fumbling for his car keys in order to drive the left-back to Manchester himself.
Everton and Tottenham are ready to battle it out over Lille's £10m man Gervinho; Eden Hazard also looks likely to be leaving Ligue 1 this summer, with Manchester United, Barcelona, Real Madrid, Juventus and Inter all scrambling for his signature.
Bayern Munich are closing in on Jérôme Boateng, who could be heading back to the Bundesliga after less than 12 months at
Manchester City.
Birmingham want the Egyptian international Shikabala so badly then can almost taste him.
And in the much more interesting world of the Championship, Barnsley are lining up the former Tykes manager and Grand Drive frontman
Danny Wilson for a return to Oakwell, Derby County have made a £1.25m offer for Leicester's Martyn Waghorn (and will follow it up with a £300,000 bid for Watford's John Eustace), while the Foxes have made Bristol City's Nicky Maynard their No1 summer target.
Football transfer rumours: Carlton Cole to Newcastle? | Football | guardian.co.uk
---------- Post added at 11:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:19 AM ----------
Doubt there's any truth in that. Completely goes against every Wenger tradition in the Transfer Market - personality, signing older players to long-term contracts etc.
Plus - where would he fit in? Wilshere isn't going to be ecstatic about playing 2nd fiddle to anyone after the season he's had. Then there's Song, Frimpong, Coquelin at DM - Lansbury coming through, etc.
, now that would be a twist