View attachment 494810Kelly Speaks Over January Business
The Canaries chairman has broken his brief silence by discussing the happenings of the January transfer window. He is directed slowly into the horde of hungry journalists, seemingly hungover (or still drunk) he slouches over the table with a pair of dark glasses and a suspiciously stained suit. Pushing hair out of his face he looks up at the gathered journalists, before dropping his head onto the table again.
"Have you made any transfers that January?" A youngster enquires, "First of all, that's a dreadful use of the English language, secondly, yes, we have bought three players, and to be honest I've no idea if I can reveal this information, but Crystal Palace have told their transfers and.. well they've always been a wise example to follow, so I brought in Martin Skrtel for Ryan Bennett, brought in Steven Defour on loan, and we've bought Morata and Herrera, of course based upon league confirmation."
"Would you care to go into more detail about the business you've made?" "No." (Silence) "Well umm.. You kind of have to." Kelly sits upright, glasses off, with fire in his eyes, his body managing to discard litres of alcohol within seconds. "Well then if I
have to then I will; I'm very appreciative of the Liverpool chairman, he was very reasonable and I'd gladly do business with him again,
especially if its a daylight robbery like this one was
Honestly I forgot Ryan Bennett existed, so pretty decent business. Defour will be a great compliment to Chadli and Morata will hopefully be able to make the step up from Real Madrid to Norwich City. Also we brought in Herrera, even though I only heard tell of him from Moyes' panic buying on deadline day. But he's probably as good as Charlie Adam and Johnny Howson.. which is saying a lot!"
Kelly then denied reports of him joining Barcelona, "Well I must admit it was tempting, but I think that our strike force is far superior to Barcelonas so I decided to stay for now." And with that he disappeared, leaving journalists staring confusedly at the space he vanished from.