Jar Jar Binks?
I have a crush on a soccer player
- Thread starter Montanaro
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Jar Jar Binks?
So this girl plays soccer....so she likes soccer....so she may like football management games too....so she may play FM.....so she may be registered on this site.....so she may be reading this topic
If this is true then give up on her she already knows that you have a GF
THE END
If this is true then give up on her she already knows that you have a GF
THE END
Not following logic
If anything I'd give up on her cuzz she knows I posted her pic, the whole g/f thing isn't an issue for most girls.
S
Sam
Guest
In conclusion, Kris is gay, Jack wants you to turn gay with him, Dunc gets laid and watches squid ****, and Kris is gay.
Does this help you Montanaro?
Does this help you Montanaro?
So, I am not the one with the best experience around here, but I'd say you should go for it. If you really think this can work out and that she is into you, then, the only obstacle I see is your girlfriend. I don't believe I'm going to say this, but I think you should talk with the soccer girl first, tell her about what you feel. Tell her how she makes you feel. Tell her she was the first (even if she wasn't) to make you think about leaving your gf. Of course this is technically betrayal, but I don't realy think that loyalty imposes to passion.
Life is short. So enjoy it. Of course you can't be around there finishing relations everytime you have a crush, but if you really feel this might be the one or that you and your gf don't fit together, you have to try. Otherwise, if this relationship goes wrong and in the meanwhile the soccer girl (sry but don't know her name) gets a boyfriend (highly probable. she's very pretty) and doesn't leave him, you'll spend the rest of your life thinking about what could have happened, how your life could be better, and all that.
"I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do" - Rory Cochrane
"The two thoughest words to say are: What if..." - someone I did not find
Life is short. So enjoy it. Of course you can't be around there finishing relations everytime you have a crush, but if you really feel this might be the one or that you and your gf don't fit together, you have to try. Otherwise, if this relationship goes wrong and in the meanwhile the soccer girl (sry but don't know her name) gets a boyfriend (highly probable. she's very pretty) and doesn't leave him, you'll spend the rest of your life thinking about what could have happened, how your life could be better, and all that.
"I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do" - Rory Cochrane
"The two thoughest words to say are: What if..." - someone I did not find
There was a typo in this one, I forgot to add in the word 'against' after recommend...big typo.
Nothing guarantees happiness, but not living life to the fullest when you're young sucks. Why not **** about while in a relationship (depending on the relationship)? Why give up something you like so you can have something else you like?
I don't think cheating is horrid, that depends on the culture, and in many cultures it is accepted. In Anglo culture we are very strongly against it but I think that's because we're uber possessive about relationships...which I think is equally, if not more, ****** up.
I don't see how see no evil hear no evil is a coward's way through life...if you do something that would hurt someone else than just make sure they don't find out and get hurt. If you don't cover it up at all knowing she'll get hurt, than yeah, you're an *******. But if not, whatever. It's like lying to your parents about going to a friend's house when you're actually going to a party (I'm thinking high school in America, where you can't drink til you're 21). You do it thinking you won't get caught, and getting caught is your one deterrent. For most of us the moral obligation is not really a factor. Sure the parents will be hurt if they find out their child lied to them, but you plan on that not happening and take the necessary precautions.
And as far as the selfishness argument that people keep bringing up goes, how is being possessive of someone not selfish? How is completely controlling another's sexuality (even though they're not married) not selfish? When I'm in a relationship I don't try and investigate the fidelity of my partner too much because I know she's human and it'll happen at some point...and what I don't know can't hurt me.
The bolded part goes for everywhere, but I was just making the point that cheating is accepted in other cultures, you're just supposed to not let the person find out. Americans are very, very possessive about relationships, and cheating on someone is considered a heinous, evil act (which it's not). As far as being happy if you hurt someone else, I never said hurt anyone else, I said don't get caught. If you don't get caught than you don't hurt anyone else.
As far as socialism goes, that's within the realm of political science, which is more empirical than moral questions of daily living. But more importantly, all is fair in love and war. Sure I support political systems that are good for everyone, but I still am here for me...I grew up in a America, the most individualistic, liberal (in some sense of the word), capitalistic society in the world and have been trained to think for myself and "pursue happiness." So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to live my life how I want to and try to live it without any regrets; I'm going to enjoy it as much as I can. I don't want to hurt anyone in the process, which is why if I cheated on someone, I would take the necessary precautions. If by some freak chance the person found out about it, yeah I would feel bad, but she shouldn't get so upset about it...it's not a big deal.
It's not a theory. Why are bothering with a relationship if you don't trust the other half? Silly argument. Either way it was advocating hurting someone else in order to fulfil your own happiness. Isn't that a fantastic theory instead?
And politics is irrelevant. It proves hypocrisy and inconsistency with the person arguing. If you prove that then it weakens their argument considerably. Not starting an argument at all, Curtis is smart enough to not get sidetracked by a small side swipe.
Barely...just barely.
How is it horrible? If they find out it could suck for that person, if they don't, than no harm no foul.
This isn't aimed at you in particular but a lot of people here are getting on their moral high-horses acting like cheating is some great evil and that they would never do it and making such a big deal about Love being the greatest thing ever that you can never break...first of all, aren't most of you like 16? I'm sorry but if you're that young you don't have enough life experience to start getting all moralistic and telling other people what is right and wrong, what one can or cannot do. Most of you just probably haven't been in a situation where you would cheat. Many of you probably haven't had girlfriends, and the ones that have, probably haven't been in a situation where they had been with the girl awhile (4 years, like the OP) and there was a really attractive girl who came along.
Because if you look at the statistics, most people have cheated, and more importantly, most people get divorces (which are much, much more destructive than cheating, and I think a million times more ****** up because they ruin the lives of other people, namely the kids). The percentage of marriages that never experienced any cheating and ended by someone dying is very, very low. The fact of the matter is that in modern society, where *** is common as it is (and we all have lots of *** and relationships before marriage) a monogamous relationship is just unrealistic.
And if you want to accuse me of being selfish, if I were married I would definitely forgive my wife for the occasional fidelity slip up...we're all human and she would actually be better off releasing some of that sexual tension...if she didn't she would be much more unhappy and take it out on my (perhaps unknowingly) and the marriage would be worse off. And that's the only thing that matters.
Montanaro, from one 24 year old yank to another, don't listen to a bunch of 16 year old virgins talk about love. You're not married to this girl, you only live once and life is short...you'll never be 24 again and before you know it you'll be 40 and too old to get anything. Live it up.
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S
Sam
Guest
aka yo mama
You are correct, nothing guarantee’s happiness. I guess it’s up to each individual person to decide what makes them happy and how they want to live their lives.
I can’t agree with you, no matter how much you try to defend it. Maybe it’s just me, my past experiences or the way I’ve been brought up but I can’t morally accept it.
Again, I see where you are coming from, I guess I just see things like ‘lying to the parents’ as a far smaller morale issue and it’s not really a massive betrayal of trust. They won’t be totally devastated if they found out and it won’t really haunt me in future.
Maybe I’m being hypocritical. You make a valid point but I personally can’t condone it.
So how would you feel if your gf/partner had a bit on the side with someone she knew because as you say "there is nothing wrong with it". Such a stupid comment to make.
As someone said earlier, your not going to get the advise your looking for on a football forum. You need to speak to your partner about how you feel. Is it going anywhere? Does it have the potiental to? If not then make a decision, but not just for your sake, but for hers. Its unfair to string her along, if your not commited.
Anyway, by the sounds of it its just a lil crush, it will go eventually mate.
Tell your partner you like another woman? Bwuaahahahaha!!! I don't think so, matey-bopper. I'd rather her find out I'd been cheating than tell her face to face that I like someone. The womans mind is a scary place, she'd probably stab you on the spot, then forever after that, if you do get the chance to stay with her, she will NEVER trust you and will constantly be paranoid when you're with her.
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I see your point, but I didn't actually mean tell her you fancy some other women lol. I meant speak to her about your future, where your relationship is etc.
Honestly, this is quite common and accepted by couples.
I would try to not look into things too much: she probably has had something on the side but I would rather not find out about it. But if it did happen, if she were my girlfriend I would expect an apology as opposed to "there is nothing wrong with it." Even if there is nothing wrong with it, if the person find out, it will hurt, so they deserve an apology. But that doesn't mean that there is something wrong with it, especially if the other person finds out. If I were caught cheating of course I would apologize...but I would hope the girl wouldn't make a bigger deal out of it than necessary. And most importantly, I wouldn't get caught.
If I were cheated on than I would try to be accepting of it...I can be the jealous type, but that's because I come from a culture where people are extremely possessive in relationships...I think that's equally ****** up. I would most certainly forgive her, especially if the guy was very attractive. But if she wasn't careful and didn't seem like she made a lot of effort to keep me from finding out about it? That would be ****** up and I might dump her. It would show that she didn't care about me. Now if it was my wife? Well, if I do get married, it will almost certainly be an open marriage. I don't think I would have a strong desire to cheat, but I do know that it would be much better for our marriage if I let the woman cheat. Women have a strong *** drive and if they are stuck to one man forever they will go crazy and (knowingly or unknowingly) take out their sexual frustrations on their partner. After a certain point in my marriage I definitely will allow my wife to cheat.
Let's be realistic here guys, most people nowadays realize that monogamy in today's society is **** near impossible and probably unhealthy. No need to be righteous about it.
Really disagree with this bit. First of all, it's not your place to judge his relationship, and second, most college kids in the US (the OP said they're in college) are not ready to get married. They realize that those relationships won't end in marriage. But that doesn't mean staying in them is stringing the partner along. If his girlfriend keeps talking about marriage and he definitely doesn't want to do it but sort of acts like he might, than that would be stringing her along. But I doubt that's the case.
Sure it might be a crush, but on the other hand you don't want the list of girls you could have been with to add up while you're with someone. At this age you're supposed to go out and get laid as much as possible. You're only young once and you have the rest of your life for monogamy. I can't believe it's even a discussion. I'd say go for it.
But yeah, I do agree that this is a FM forum and not to pay too much attention to any of the advice we give. I do think I'm right about this and that our culture has a ****** up, possessive view of relationships, and that cheating is demonized way too much. Just don't get caught. I'm 24 and I'm trying to live it up as much as I can right now because I'm only young once, I'm going to wake up tomorrow and be 50 and stuck in a marriage so I think being monogamous at this age is not the best idea. But what do I know, I'm talkin out my ***.
I'd disagree with that. There are a lot of cultures out there that think it's not cheating, and a lot where it's just viewed as not that big of a deal. Even in the Western Europe cultures, the French are already like that to a certain extent.
That's exactly what I said... (had there been a facepalm emoticon I would have made 5 of those in a row).
@curtis. I sort of have to give you kudos on acceptance of the cheating thing, as in you're acceptance in your partner on doing it. But the way I see it, if someone says that they love you, and want to be with YOU and no-one else, then go and sleep with somebody else because they are more attractive or whatever, to me it just seems shallow, and shows the utmost disrespect to you. I just couldn't deal with that. I'm not the possessive type, I let my fiance do what she wants, give her a free life etc etc, but if she says to me she loves me, for what I am, doesn't care what I look like or whatever, then does the sleeping around with some guy because he's better looking than me.....that would be it-it would be over. It would just destroy trust, and I would just be wondering who she'd go and bang, and just make me incredibly insecure. An apology just wouldn't cut it. It would just say that person couldn't give a flying fig about other peoples feelings and make them selfish, self centered and arrogant. But that's just my opinion on the thing.
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I Like Pie
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Slightly off topic but once again I think that we should all like curtis' posts, just for the sheer effort put into them.
Back onto topic, cheating is bad
Back onto topic, cheating is bad
Ride The Walrus
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Aaaaw, I got here too late to discuss squid ****
Fair enough, and maybe she'll always love you, but could she stay faithful for decades? And never divorce you? In modern society, where everyone has lots of premarital *** and relationships before marriage, monogamy is **** near impossible. I think cheating is the only way a marriage can survive or stay relatively healthy. And (probably unlike everyone here) I think divorce is a million times worse than cheating.
Just wait til you all are older.