Middelfart - let's not follow through

I'm confused. It says you were runners-up in the league, but then in the "Biggest Overachievers" bit it says you finished 3rd...?

Either way, fine job and I look foward to following your attempts to Fart your way past Kobenhavn!

Weird, I just noticed that when you said. We definitely finished 2nd in the league! Thanks for the support!
 
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Summer

The seasons here seem to take longer than usual. With the winter months to reflect, the long cold nights make it feel like an eternity. When we then resume play it seems like the season is crammed and by the end of June we only have 4-5 weeks to get a pre-season in, sort out transfers and get the club ready.

I decided to take some personal time and travel to Copenhagen. The city that has been so dominant in the football world.
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As I wander through the crowded streets and the busy market, I just keep thinking "How do we compete with this?". Compare all aspects of Copenhagen to Middelfart and we are the equivalent of a mouse to an elephant. The only way we can challenge them is by beating them on the day and taking as many points from the other games as possible, we will need something like an unbeaten season or something. A tough ask.

Stay with me on this report but as so much has changed, I wanted to take a breath and show you all where the squad is. There have been some changes.
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17 changes to be exact. The most notable perhaps are our 2 long time servants Casper Vaerum and Peter Jul Nielsen. The rest of the transfers were purely not good enough or did not deserve their wages. I would very much like to stay within my wage budget this season. Tough but not unrealistic.

Squad Report
So to get everyone up to speed I present you the first team.

Goalkeepers:
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Casper Radza will take the number 1 jersey and will become Middelfart's leading appearance holder. Dannevang was free, cheap and will be a solid back up.

Right Back
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Good depth in this position as we bring in Vermijl to replace last year's loanee Lind. Vermijl looks quality and will be our first choice. As a back up we also have Maehle, who has been solid and can also play further up as a winger.

Centre Back
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We have refined and boosted the centre of the defence. We still have Kabongo and Christensen from last year but we also add on a permanent bases Alexander Molberg. Our 3 time player of the year has signed along with a Dutch beast called Daryl Werker. The strength and quality is better than last year so hopefully we can build from the back.

Left Back
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At left back we have 2 options. Hojer was so good for us last year he kept Nielsen out of this position. Zanotti has been out on loan the last few seasons but I want to give him a go here this year.

Centre Midfield
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Our holding players this year will be the formidable African pairing of Rutikanga and Tanor. They join the Danish Hansen to make for stiff competition for that holding, playmaking role.

Right Midfield
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Named the signing of the season last year, Travljanin will be the first choice player here. Although we have no out and out players in this position as a back up, we have got 4 other players that can fill in here.

Attacking Midfield
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Another 3 players to fight for their places. The quality is here as well, with two Dutchmen leading the way and hopefully showing our promising youngster Andersen how to develop to the next step. The new signing here was Mitchell Paulissen who arrives on a free. He has all the stats and versatility to be a real problem for the opposition so let's hope he delivers.

Left Midfield
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Perhaps our strongest position. With Thychosen looking to build on a great first season we also draft in former Manchester City, Lorenzo Gonzalez who looks just great. He can play as an attacking player on the left and right wing as well as striker if needed.

Striker
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The trio competition continues for the top as we present two new signings to go with Thomsen from last year. Clive Watt signs on a free and looks to be really ready for the season. The Irishman will hopefully bring us luck and goals. Per Lanng is our final striker, the youngster will be mainly rotational but he has time on his side as well as potential.

Backroom
We have the same staff in the background of the club and will be focusing our energy on getting the most out of our players this season.

To add a bit more fuel to the flame, we have just been drawn for our first Champion's League game.
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Tasty.

UP. THE. FARTS!!!​
 
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July
With hardly a moment's respite, we gather our kit to prepare for the opening game of the season. We want to see how many points we can pick up to start strongly but I feel like the team needs more time to gel.

Danish Superliga: Lyngby vs Middelfart

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Early doors we did not look well at all. The team looks like they have never played together, well most haven't but still. This needs to change.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs HB Koge
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Up against newly promoted Koge. I thought this had 3 points all over it but we again fell below expectations. Watts scored his first goal for the club before we conceded before the half way point.

Champions League Qualifier: CSKA Moscow vs Middelfart
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Last season saw Middelfart in Europe for the first time. This year we are in the Champions League for the first time. Up against Russian juggernauts CSKA. All the way to Russia to get beaten is what most thought. Gonzalez has other plans. After going behind we set up a bit more attacking and the pressure paid off. We have an away goal to play with and looked good value for it!

Danish Superliga: Esbjerg FB vs Middelfart
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We were not meant to win this one at all. We have not looked good so far apart from CSKA and that game seemed to spur us on. An early penalty from Hansen set the tone before they grab a goal before half time. Hansen then smashed in a 22 yard screamer for the win!

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Monthly Review: A tough start indeed but a glimpse of hope in Europe. Our next game sees us at home versus CSKA so we will try our best.

Player of the Month: An easy decision to make when others are off the pace here. Hansen has been a breath of fresh air.
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UP. THE. FARTS!!​
 
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Champions League Special

Welcome to this very special presentation of the Champions League qualifier featuring Middelfart and CSKA Moscow.
Somehow Middelfart actually have a chance to progress here grabbing a vital away goal in the 1-1 draw in the first leg. The return fixture has created an excitement that has never been seen before in Middelfart. The little town is making preparations to host the thousands of travelling Russian fans.

So here we are at the Vejle Stadion. Usually we would be at Middelfart's own stadium but due to seating regulations not being met we take the short trip to Vejle to fit in this bumper 7,567 strong crowd. The weather conditions are as good as they get in Denmark, quite warm at 23 degrees with a strong breeze.

Team news to bring you, not that many changes for either side apart from Mads Dohr Thyschosen coming into the team after a long injury lay off. The inclusion of last year's top scorer for Middelfart will give the home fans a big boost.

The teams are out, all the formalities are done and we are ready for kick off!

4 Minutes: Early on and Middelfart are pressing their advantage. They seem to have caught CSKA off guard with a strong, direct start. The ball is wide with Andersen who whips in a cross, the ball just misses over the head of Thychosen but falls to GONNZAALLLEZZ!!! OH WHAT A GOAL! He has scored against CSKA yet again! He catches the ball on the volley and hits it right into the roof of the goal. A fairytale start for Middelfart!
34 Minutes: Dangerous counter attack here by CSKA, Cafu has been the stand out player for them so far and here he is driving through the heart of midfield, cutting inside and out. Shoots! Saved by Radza but not held and GOAALLL!! Cafu gets the rebound! He wheels away celebrating and the scores are level!
45 Minutes: That is it for the first half and the pressure is building. The next goal will be vital in this game, whoever scores it will have an advantage.

54 Minutes: A nervous opening to this second half. The referee blows his whistle. A hard challenge there by CSKA's Ramos who goes into the book here.
57 Minutes: Middelfart on the move again here on the right wing, the crosses have been flying in all day. Another looping effort towards the back post and it's THYCHOSEN!! HE SCORES!! Back after a long spell on the sidelines through injury, has he just become a hero for Middelfart!?
61 Minutes: Now behind, CSKA seem to have woken up. The passing tempo has gotten quicker and they are pressing higher up. Cafu is on the ball yet again, cuts back inside to **** over a lovely little pass to find Olanare. He has time here and is all alone! GOALL!!!! This game is blown wide open! A dramatic equaliser means that CSKA will go through as things stand! Heartbreak for Middelfart who got so close last year too!
68 Minutes: This is just impressive, Middelfart just don't know when they are beat. The last 5 minutes have seen them up their game as their manager has been furiously shouting instructions from the sidelines. They have been working harder. Tanor steals the ball in midfield and passes it up to Thychosen, Andersen is bombing forward on the counter attack. If Thychosen can find him... He does! Andersen takes a touch and hits it! OH MY WORD! What a goal!! He must have hit that from 30 yards out! Middelfart lead CSKA!

FULL TIME! They have only gone and done it! After parking the bus for the last 20 minutes, little club Middelfart have yet again overcome the odds and progressed to the next round! Sensational stuff!
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We go through to the studio for the draw for the next round. None of these fixtures are appealing for Middelfart as the other teams in the draw are mammoths in comparison. They will hope for a good draw to attract as many fans as possible and hopefully put on a show.
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What a draw! Middelfart will take on Liverpool! There will be much excitement in Middelfart as it is rumoured their manager is a lifelong Red and playing against his favourite club must be a dream come true!


 
Massive win mate! Was going to make a joke about the farts blowing them away but decided against it :p

Going to be a huge tie against the 'pool. Best of luck. :)
 
I'm not beyond making that joke however so it's time for you to blow those Scousers away.

Good luck!
 
Massive win mate! Was going to make a joke about the farts blowing them away but decided against it:p

Going to be a huge tie against the 'pool. Best of luck. :)

Possibly the best one yet! I am no where near as confident to beat Liverpool. They have such a strong team!
 
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August
This month may well be the longest in our history of the club. With so many fixtures, we will be lucky to get a good run of form. Of course we have got a big tie against Liverpool in the Champions League.


Danish Superliga: FC Midtjylland vs Middelfart
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Not much to say here. I suppose the positive is that we got a point and kept a clean sheet.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs FC Nordsjaelland
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In the form that we have been in I was pleasantly surprised to steal the 3 points here. Nordsjaelland have been doing well and we have now gone above them in the league.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Copenhagen
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Copenhagen have started off undefeated this year, shock. This was our chance to peg them back a bit. We looked good value for the draw until Hansen decides to whip out one of his worldies. A cracking effort gives us the lead and the win!

Champions League: Middelfart vs Liverpool
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A victory was never likely. The best case scenario would be a goalless draw and then maybe steal one away from home. There was just too big of a gulf in class. Coutinho on his own earns more than 4 times my entire squad budget a week. With the players they have it was just a matter of time, we held out until the second half but then the chances turned into goals.
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In the end we showed out quality but it was not anywhere near to their quality. We will have to rely on a miracle to score 3 goals at Anfield.

Danish Superliga: AGF vs Middelfart
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After conceding we looked beaten. Our second string team had to fight on and Clive Watts scored his first goal for the club! We tried pushing for the win but came up short. Still get the point though!

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In a second team match our Captain Vermeulen got seriously injured and for the first time in my career it seems that this could mean he considers retiring.

Champions League: Liverpool vs Middelfart
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The dream is over but it has been phenomenal. All the 119 travelling fans packed their flares and singing voices. The result mirrored that of the first leg and we kept it level in the first half. With the like of Mane on form it was hard to keep it that way let alone mount a serious attack. A lovely trip and one I will remember!

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The players at their disposal was frightening but I felt that we gave a good account of ourselves and represent Denmark well!

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A major bonus was the extra funds we secured through the tournament and we got more for qualifying into the Europa League places too!
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Nearly £5 million for our efforts which see our overall funding doubled easily. Hopefully this will give the board some confidence to invest more in the transfer market.

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We have been handed quite a tough group. It will be a challenge getting any points at all but trips away to Ajax and Wolfsburg will be amazing! Not too keen on Russia though.

Danish Superliga: Sonderjyske vs Middelfart
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Our final game of a very long month sees us take on Sonderjyske and the big Rudy Gestede. It took a long time to break through but what a way to do it! Paulissen scores his first for the club via a thunderous freekick. Thychosen is slowly getting back into the groove of things as he picks up a goal after his return from injury. A solid win that sees us move further up the table!

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The performances of Radza, Kabongo and Paulissen have not gone unnoticed and we are pleased to see them make the Team of the week.

Monthly Review: Perhaps one of the biggest months the club has had! We are the sole representative of Denmark in European competition and have done well in the league. The extra money is a massive bonus too! Copenhagen have dropped points this month and are still in touching distance! We may have a chance this year!
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Player of the Month: Radza has been huge in nets this month. I know he conceded 4 against Liverpool but we could have shipped 8 easily if it wasn't for his efforts.

UP. THE. FARTS!!​
 
OMG! Mat Ryan is 'pool's keeper! :O

I mean, bad luck mate. At least the financial windfall should do wonders for the farts and there is still the Europa league to look forward too, not to mention trying to reign in Copenhagen.
 
I know! He actually looks decent too! Karius has gone to City! Not sure about Mignolet though. It was tough but if we won I think it would have been too difficult to get out the group. Europa League is there as you say so I hope we can bring in some more money and stink out the opposition
 
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September
The season is well and truly underway and we look all right actually. Not as dominant in terms of goal scoring, however we have secured the points. This month is all about the Europa League group stage and maintaining the pace in the league set by Copenhagen.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Hobro IK
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A disappointing result as we were clear favourites. We only managed a draw but loanee Jensen scores again.

Europa League Group Stages: Ajax vs Middelfart
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There are stadiums you dream of playing in, and for me Ajax is up there. The crowd was amazing, the whole 60,000 of them. We set up to contain them and hit on the counter but their quality was far too much. 2 goals ahead I thought we were in with a shout when substitute Thomsen scored an away goal for us. If we could just hold on we may get another goal for a point. It was not to be as they turned it on again to score another 2. 4-1 is a tough scoreline considering but they did dominate the game so it is fair.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs OB
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Time to face our local rivals. What a game. Never have I seen a player nearly score a hat trick of penalties and Jensen did just that. I thought he was nailed on to do it but he skied the final spot kick over the bar. We will take the 3 points and the bragging rights.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Randers
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Bore draw. We should have put them to bed but instead we shat the bed.

Danish Superliga: Brondby vs Middelfart
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Brondby are hot on our heels, this loss hurt. They leapfrog us un the league and it showed that our potent strike force is still not there. We need goalscorers.

Europa League Group Stage: Middelfart vs Krasnodar
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Due to seating regulations we host Jrasnodar at OB's home stadium. Paulissen produced an absolute worldie to get us the only goal of the game. A sweet strike on the half volley into the top corner saw the fans explode with joy and excitement. 3 points in the group and our very first European group stage win!

Monthly Review:
Many would be thrilled with our progress but I am unconvinced. We should be higher up and finishing games better. We already have 5 draws to match the wins but the dropped points concerns me the most. As for Europe, I am loving the challenge but we won't expect any fireworks.
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Copenhagen have not been their ruthless selves and are within reaching distance. They have a similar record to us but it shows what difference wins make over draws.
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People thought we would be fodder in this group but we have gone and got ourselves 3 points!

Player of the Month: A very tough choice as there were no outstanding players. Jensen scored 3 goals for us which was a plus but my vote goes to Radza. Our goalkeeper was immense, he saved most of the 28 shots against Ajax and played well in the league. Hope he can keep this up.

UP. THE. FARTS!!​
 
Congrats on the first ever European win :)

Weirdly enough, way back in the day I once had Van Nistelrooy score 4 goals in a game - all four being penalties. Must've been a strange match.
 
Thanks man, I was thinking surely he is going to grab a hat trick here as the first two were in the top left corner. Not to be sadly.

Congrats on the first ever European win :)

Weirdly enough, way back in the day I once had Van Nistelrooy score 4 goals in a game - all four being penalties. Must've been a strange match.
 
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October
It doesn't feel right. We have played so many games already and we are only in October. Some big European games this month and we are in with a real chance of chasing down Copenhagen!
Let's get to it!

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Silkeborg
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Up against stragglers Silkeborg, we looked good. Jensen opened the scoring, shortly followed by Thychosen who has been very off in comparison with his antics last year. Not much to mention otherwise, we get the 3 points and move up the table!
Our neighbours have also done us a massive favour by beating Copenhagen!
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Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Lyngby
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It took until the second half for us to get going but when we did, wow! Jensen bagged a brace within minutes and to add insult to injury, we capped off a wonderful flowing move with Gonzalez ending his 15 hour goal drought.

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Europa League Group Stage: Wolfsburg vs Middelfart
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Football can be such a cruel game! We were huge underdogs. We held them, contained, defended well. Then a moment of brilliance. Kabongo hits a long ball from the heart of defence, over the strikers. I mishit clearance falls to Paulissen who blasts it into the goal! WE ARE AHEAD!! That lasted for all of 2 minutes, as in the very next attack Wollscheid scores off a corner. Unfortunately away goals don't count for much but we get the point! A long shot at qualification, but not an easy task!

Danish Superliga: HB Koge vs Middelfart
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For whatever reason, we have always struggled to beat Koge, especially at home. Andersen was the man to change our fortunes. Just before half time, he slots home the eventual winner! 3 more points!

Danish Cup Third Round: AAB vs Middelfart
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AAB were relegated last year I believe and are smashing it in the First Division so we were actually underdogs. Jensen scored another worldie to add to his 2 goals. Hansen also chipped in and we looked good all the way through. Another win, another clean sheet.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Esbjerg FB
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A real Jekyll and Hyde performance from Rutikanga. He pops in a 30 yard screamer for his first ever Middelfart goal and the very next minute he picks up his second yellow! We set up to defend but actually managed another goal through the prolific Jensen! Very nice indeed!

Monthly Review:
A very strong month indeed. This will be a defining moment in the season. With Copenhagen dropping points and us going unbeaten in the league, we have won all 4 games taking the maximum points. We are level with Copenhagen and will need to maintain this high performance to match them all season.
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Player of the Month: Last month it was hard to choose as there was no one really standing out, this month there are too many to choose from.
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4 of our players make the Team of the Month showing our strength across the park as we have a goalkeeper, defender, midfielder and striker in among the team.

The stand out player for me is Jensen. The loanee has been firing in goals, good goals too. Well done Troels.

UP. THE. FARTS!!!​
 
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Looking good - keep it going! Those matches against Kobenhavn are gonna be seriously big...
 
Things are getting seriously tense! Let's hope the Farts can keep the good form flowing and knock Copenhagen down a peg or 2!
 
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November
The chase is on. We are hot on the heels of FC Copenhagen and we are within striking distance to leapfrog them for the lead. Let's get to it!

Europa League Group Stage: Middelfart vs Wolfsburg
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A very long shot of qualification from the group stages but nights like tonight show we mean business. Total underdogs took the game to a vastly more experienced team and we got a credible draw!

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs FC Midtjylland
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Up against the strong Midtjylland we looked very good. Jensen banged in 2 goals before half time to give us the win and all three points!

Danish Superliga: FC Nordsjaelland vs Middelfart
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Phew! In a game that looked to be getting away from us, Jensen saved us by slotting home a quality strike to give us the win!

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A shame really. Vermeulen was a real bargain, signing on a free and making a big impact in the attacking midfield role. This is a first for me too, I have not had a player retire due to injury before.

Europa League Group Stage: Middelfart vs Ajax
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We again showed we can punch it out with the big boys but fell just short. A late goal credited Ajax with a deserved win. They are sure to qualify now and we need a win in the next game and lots of goals and hope Wolfsburg ose to take second place and qualify.

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It's official. Quite a career for the Dutchman. Glad he was a part of our story here.

Danish Superliga: FC Copenhagen vs Middelfart
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In what has been a massive build up, the game disappointed somewhat. We were very happy to hold them as they battered us, but a win would have really kicked them in the knackers.

Danish Superliga: Hobro IK vs Middelfart
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The last game of a long month. Very nearly didn't work out, despite having more men we left it late for Paulissen to smash in one of his trademark free kicks.

Monthly Review: A very good month. We have maintained the pressure on Copenhagen and this is turning into a two horse race.

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Player of the Month: Troels Jensen. What a guy. Scoring freely and has won us games single-handedly.

UP. THE. FARTS!!​
 
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December
Only a handful of games this month as we wind down for the winter break. Our aim is to try and finish above Copenhagen and hopefully trim the squad and make some good additions for the next stage of the season.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs AGF
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AGF are a good side and despite that we should have battered them. In fact the Mayor of Middelfart has imposed a ban on dog owners taking their pets for a walk, given the fact that nobody in Middelfart can hold onto a ******* lead.
Dropped points.

Europa League Group Stage: Krasnodar vs Middelfart
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Our last hurrah in Europe this season. A win in style sees us with an off chance of qualifying. It all depends on the Wolfsburg vs Ajax result.

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****. They drew. If Ajax won we would have gone through. Nonetheless, incredibly proud of our achievement we did not disappoint.

Danish Superliga: Middelfart vs Sonderjyske
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Another close call! After Andersen grabbed his second yellow it looked like we were going to be beaten. Substitute on Thychosen One and he bangs in two to win the game!

Monthly Review: A near perfect month, apart from that ******* AGF game. On the other hand....
WE ARE TOP OF THE **** LEAGUE!!

End of year awards incoming:
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Absolute joke that Jensen got this. Only the Champions had a better win record than us and we have been class. Biased bastards.

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Little ol' Radza up there with the big boys! So much is my admiration I have given the lad a new contract.

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Player of the Month: Thychosen One has been very quiet this season but his cameo in that last game was a beauty.

UP. THE. FARTS!!​
 
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Middelfart boss to England?
In the past couple of years the stock of manager van der Westhuizen has risen significantly in England. So much so that it has been rumoured that he has been offered several high profile interviews with clubs in England.

Having dismissed speculation when asked in the press, the board must be relieved that their manager is staying. This could however be very different in the coming weeks. The situation is complex but very intriguing.

FC Copenhagen boss Solbaken has taken over charge at Southampton leaving the role vacant, van der Westhuizen is the favourite for the job. With the offer of a bigger role from Copenhagen, Fulham, Swansea, QPR and Birmingham will the loyalty of the popular manager change?

To add fuel to the fire, an inside source has indicated an argument within the club. With van der Westhuizen asking for more money to strengthen the squad for a title push, the board have surprisingly stated "Due to the underperformance this year, we feel that a manager under scrutiny like yourself should not be given additional money".

This has reportedly made van der Westhuizen furious. Rightly so it would seem as the manager has worked wonders to make the club competitive and has also seen and increase in profit in the last 6 months amounting to nearly £7 million.

Whatever the outcome, we are in for an exciting second half of the season.
 
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