The Football Managing Mercenary

[DerbyJack]

Cheers Kubalionzzale, slighty fortunate but I'll certainly take it!
​

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October 2027

17th October 2027
Jupiler Pro League

Following our "flawless month" we kick start October in much the same fashion as our young starlet, Frans *** once again makes the most of his opportunities in the first team with a goal to break the deadlock and send another important three points back to Brugge as we look to finally distance ourselves from the competition.


20th October 2027
Champions League - Group C

Schalke are flying high in the Bundesliga, looking like odds on favorites to take what has become a wide-open league title but the impressive club continue to be left frustrated by their ever present Champions League rivals following a goal-less draw in the Club Brugge Stadium. Our winning streak in Europe might have been cut short but non the less another impressive result for the Black and Blue.


24th October 2027
Jupiler Pro League

Our charge back to the top for the Europa League title continues to gather momentum, all be it in the less then impressive style as a solo effort from Romelu Lukaku edges a tight game. Despite not being in seemingly free-scoring mode, our apparently rock-solid defence is certainly coming into its own, helping us towards the points with some impressive displays.


27th October 2027
Jupiler Pro League

...and our defensive stalwarts have disappeared. The ever unpredictable KV Kortrijk shot into a two goal lead as they looked to force their way back into the Championship Group before the league splits in the new year. A fortunate own-goal was the only blemish on an otherwise dominant display from the determined side as they comfortable held on to a well earned victory.


30th October 2027
Jupiler Pro League

With a surprise result finally bringing an end to Brugge's impressive run of results, they went out in the final game of the month with real gusto, smashing three goals past the hapless Zulte Waregem, including an absolute thunderbolt of a goal from winger, Dembele. The long serving midfielder opening his account for the season in style.


October 2027
Jupiler Pro League

With one game in hand our fragile position at the top of the table might not be quite as close as first seems but a rejuvenated Standard have taken the league by storm, making an instant return from their shock relegation and straight back into contention for the title at the first opportunity. Scary momentum.


October 2027
Champions League - Group C

Half-way through the group stage and we're well on our way to smashing our way into the knockout stages following a predictably poor start to PSV's Champions League campaign and with both Schalke and Benfica unable to lay down the law, our status in the next round is surely in the bag?

​

 

[DerbyJack]

Apologies for the huge delay. When the football league restarts I get very distratced. Non the less I'm running out of time to finish my goal.

Back to grabbing the money!
​

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November 2027

2nd November 2027
Champions League - Group C

The first slip up in our Champions League campaign see's our ever present European rivals, Schalke hit back in style with a convincing victory at the Club Brugge Stadium. Their Argentinian superstar, Ricchiuti is in the prime of his career bagging a superb hat-trick to scupper our second half of the group stage.


6th November 2027
Jupiler Pro League

With the disappointment of our Champions League defeat just four days earlier a match up against league title rivals KRC Genk could have thrown our League campaign into jeopardy as well but a sensational fight-back from my multi-award winning squad saw the boys over turn an early goal on their way to a comfortable three points.


19th November 2027
Jupiler Pro League

Having cruised to a seemingly easy three points in the previous game a long break before the next game against Westerlo should have seen us add to our growing points tally. Unfortunately Westerlo didn't read the script as the tricky mid-table side held our usual rampant strike force at bay with a goal-less draw disappointing the travelling fans.


24th November 2027
Champions League - Group C

Having finally lost our first game of the season in the Champions League, we needed an immediate response against lowly Dutch side, PSV Eindhover. Unfortunately our lofty position at the top of the table now seems to be long forgotten as a goal just before the break has the Eredivisie side claim an unexpected victory.


27th November 2027
Jupiler Pro League

Once again back to league action and this time their is no Champions League bounce-back result as we are once again held to a goal-less draw this time by the fallen giants, Anderlecht. With our team usually more then able to find the back of the net with ease in this competition it seems we might finally be feeling slightly blunted in the league.


30th November 2027
Croky Cup - 7th Round

The Croky Cup dream continues. The only Belgian title to allude me during my three year spell at Club Brugge now comes one step closer to entering my trophy cabinet as we cruise past fellow top-flight side and the ludicriously named Mouscron-Peruwelz in style as our impressive midfield kicks the club back into life.


November 2027
Jupiler Pro League

With one game still in hand we remain at the top of the table with the resurgent Standard still throwing their all into trying to cap their incredible come-back with an instant top-flight trophy. Following an unbeaten but lackluster month we can take some comfort from increasing our gap over the returning heroes.


November 2027
Champions League - Group C

With two losses and PSV waking up to re-enter the race for qualification to the knock-out stages it seems that our hopes of following them into the next round have taken a hefty blow. With one game remaining however the group remains wide-open. With one last fixture against bottom of the table Benfica remaining it seems our chances of at least entering the Europa League remain impressively strong.

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[DerbyJack]

December 2027

4th December 2027
Jupiler Pro League

The festive period gets under-way in fine fashion as we cruise to a four goal victory with our long serving Croation midfielder, Drazen Petrak smashing home an incredible hat-trick to pick up an emphatic victory over a troubled Lokeren. Our grip at the top of the table seems to be getting ever stronger.


7th December 2027
Champions League - Group C

Having been in such a strong position at the mid-way point of the group stage we needed to avoid a humiliating defeat in the final game of the season to avoid a calamitous exit from the competition and we failed miserably. A determined Portuguese side ran out convincing winners as we exit the Champions League and Europe in disappointing fashion.


11th December 2027
Jupiler Pro League

The first of a two part Brugge derby against local rivals, Cercle Brugge ends in disappointing style as we are forced to accept a solitary point against the lowly club with the Green side of the town celebrating their second-half fight back to claim a rare point from the usually one-sided grudge match.


14th December 2027
Croky Cup - Quarter Final

Making up for our disappointing result at the Club Brugge Stadium in the previous game we ensure our progress in the previously frustrating Croky Cup with another Petrak inspired victory as we clinch our narrow progress into the next round of the competition. Our long-awaited steps into the Semi-Final aren't the only surprising news in Brugge...

17th December 2027
Jupiler Pro League

With my efforts in Belgium finally being noticed by Bundesliga sie, FC Koln I increase my apparently lowly standing in the beautiful game with a clinical victory in the league. With no fixed-term contract in place and having won nearly all the competitions available in Belgium my time at the club might finally be drawing to a close...


22nd December 2027
Jupiler Pro League

Sint-Truiden remain stubbornly determined to cap their own personal rise to the top but following a tricky mid-season set of fixtures leaves the club stranded in the middle of the table, non the less a solid goal-less draw ensures our one time title rivals reinforces their plucky status. The disappointing draw also brings with it an end to an impressive chapter of my career...

December 2027
Jupiler Pro League

Belgium...its been a blast.

With three and a half seasons under my belt at the club, an impressive title reign continued and the Croky Cup still very much untouched by my cup-less hands, I set about packing my bags from the beautiful city of Brugge with a reputation at Der FC waiting to be built.


December 2027
Champions League - Group C

Whilst my time at the helm of the Blauw-Zwart comes to an end it also marks and end to a disappointing spell in Europe as well. Despite the damp ending, my time in Brugge marks my most successful run in continental competition, with some ventures into the Champions League and a Europa League final added to my Belgian boosted CV.

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[bashuijsmans]

next stop: Germany

 

[Godfish93]

Delighted for you mate, onwards and upwards!

 

[Death Ball]

Finally a successful interview!

I told you, if you shook hands instead of punching faces, you'd get better results.

Good luck in the new adventure.

 

[naterr]

I hope this move comes with a nice pay rise!

 

[DerbyJack]

Hopefully its not a step too far!

Thanks alot Godfish!

Turns out that is where I was going wrong all along. I could have hid this career finished in no-time with that advice Death Ball!

Would be good to finally make some progress naterr...​

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Ah Belgium. My giant safety blanket.

Having escaped a regular bruising in the Premier League, a comfortable role with the reigning Champions of Belgium welcomed me in with open arms and I certainly enjoyed my time living the easy life in beautiful Brugge.

Having taken over from the departed Mario Been, I inherited a squad used to claiming the top spot and well established as a force in the small European nation.

Having been gifted such a valuable squad, I needed only to keep things on track...


2024/2025 Season
Jupiler Pro League

...And I didn't disappoint. Having said that my first ever major league title was hardly the comfortable ride that Club Brugge had become used to . Plucky minnows Sint-Truiden pushed us all the way to the end of the year, with a Croky Cup final defeat being the only true negative on an otherwise fortunate debut season.


2025/26 Season
Jupiler Pro League

With the title under my belt, any hopes of reinforcing my claim to the Belgian crown came under true threat as a true title contender emerged to test my credentials. An emphatic AA Gent held the top spot until the final few games of the season before the Buffalos own spectacular collapse gifted us another fortunate title. Riding my luck somewhat?


2026/27 Season
Jupiler Pro League

With fortune very much on my side in the previous season, lady luck nearly betrayed me in the next one as a sensational but ultimately failed Europa League campaign resulted in the closest season in Belgium for over half a decade. With attentions cast on the clubs first continental trophy, last seasons runner-ups came agonizingly close, missing out by just one point.


2027/28 Season
Jupiler Pro League

With my three year contract at the club drawing to a close, I didn't expect to be able to test my luck in another season but with, no offers on the table, I rather unwillingly head into yet another spell with the club that saw me finally land some silverware. With the club well on course to retain its long held title, I leave with the club looking set to retain its formidable status...



Ah Belgium. The tiny nation squished between the might of France and Germany might have just saved my career.

With my status in England seemingly bruised and battered, I was gifted a route back to instant silverware in my adopted home at the helm of the most dominant team in the Country's history.

With my reputation seemingly somewhat repaired by my stint with Brugge, its time for a true test in another of Europe's biggest leagues.

The Bundesliga awaits.

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[DerbyJack]

Here we go again...

In all honesty, since leaving England, my time in Belgium has been...well. Comfortable.

Having hoovered up three trophies that where all but gift wrapped for me, I now set out back into the rough and tumble found in the elite of European football.

Another chance to prove myself

From Belgium to Germany, as i swap the beautiful city of Brugge for the equally stunning Cologne.

With the club long in the shadow of their much larger and powerful league rivals, a risky move for a manager with little more then three Belgian titles and a Europa League final to his name is the boards chance at trying to push the Billy Goats up into contention.

With an ambitious board and an increase in club stature, I finally receive a long awaited pay increase.

With my earnings now reaching a whopping Twenty Five thousand pounds a week - before the tax man robs me - I've finally taken a step towards reaching the illustrious wealth of Diego Simeone and company... all be it a rather small one.

With the all important money now set to make its way into my wallet, i suppose i should probably actually take a look at what I've got myself into in the middle of an ever competitive Bundesliga season...

...Well that's worrying.

From the helm of the Juliper Pro League in Belgium to the foot of the Bundesliga.

With the club seemingly embroiled in a bitter relegation battle, mine and the boards aim of turning the club into a German powerhouse seems to be set for a minor delay.

It's been a long time since I've been involved in a relegation dog-fight. Flash-backs of my turbulent time in the Premier League are already ensuring my first steps in Germany are slightly tentative.

Looks like I'm going to have to work for my money.

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[DerbyJack]

Before I get a chance to explore this magnificent City and splash my new found wealth, I should probably set about trying to fix the mess Koln find themselves in...

With Bundesliga survival being crucial to my hopes of continuing my managerial rejuvenation, I need to get these boys back up to their best.

An unbalanced team awaits my instruction as a squad, with just one solitary central defender but four left-backs and three right midfielders but not a single man capable of running down the left leaves me with a clear view as to just how the previous manager ended up losing his job. This setup is in need of a drastic overhaul.

Keen to implement my Christmas tree formation that proved so successful in Belgium, it seems I am going to have my work cut out for me to get this team playing to my one and only proven method but that is not to say the lowly club do not have a few players more then capable of firing this team back into safety...

Ivan Vergara is key to just about all of Kolns attacking moves. With the club currently playing with two often frustrated front-men in the previous games of the season, it has fallen to the determined club captain to try and create the chances that have kept the Billy-Goats heads, just above water. The Twenty Six year old will be key to my future plans.

The Argentinian Wolverine is one of four left-backs in the team but Fede is head and shoulders above the rest. With the January transfer window already under-way the vultures are already circling the troubled club, with some of Europe's elite looking to ****** up our set-piece wizard for a knock-down price.




Its fair to say that the only good thing I have taken from this squad overview is that I have an instant chance at trying to rectify some of the glaring issues with the team-sheet in the January transfer window.

Cologne can wait...I've got a team to form.
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[Death Ball]

Luckily you're named Jake, which is almost the searched guy. #Obscurejoke #Ifeelsoold

 

[DevaIsBlue]

Yessss, he's back!

Really looking forward to this season, best of luck at avoiding relegation!

P.s. Tranmere isn't in Liverpool

 

[DerbyJack]

Going to have to explain this one DeathBall! You've out obscured me Sir!

Hey DevalsBlue! Just read your message to me. Thanks very much for the kind words, as you can tell my knowledge of Tranmere and most certainly Liverpool is very much lacking. In my rather weak defence, the last time I was there everything was slightly blurry and dark...Thanks again!

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With half a season to save the club, a squad heavily unbalanced in bizarre positions and one of the most competitive leagues in the world about to greet me, the January transfer window is my one option to try and give myself and the fine city of Cologne a glimmer of hope...

First things first. Lets clear some space.

Despite only having been in the club since Christmas day I wasted little time in casting my eye over Koln's talent and the exit door at the RhenEnergie Stadion was soon in use.

With a bloated and quite frankly bizarre team-sheet there was certainly the need to be brutally harsh in the new year with four players all shown the door and two millions pounds added back to Dortmund's already impressive funds as I cleared out some of those unneeded players in efficient style.

With a team in dire need of re-balancing and a degree of space cleared, I made quick work in snapping up my chosen men...

From: Paris St Germain
Cost: £4.2 million​

With a critical need for a central defender, French Champions PSG came to my aid, listing their promising Italian defender, Carlo Amelii for a knock-down price. Continuing Italy's fine standard of formidable defenders the twice capped, brick wall of a defender will provide a some much needed strength to a flimsy back-line.

From: Bayern Munich
Cost: £3.6 million​

Needing to strengthen my attacking midfield options for any hope at enforcing my favored Christmas Tree formation in Germany, I snapped up a true prodigy from under the nose of a Bundesliga giant. Munich's Jankowski has bags of potential at just Twenty One years old with technical abilities way beyond his years. Bayern's loss will most certainly be our gain.



The two arrivals certainly should add some much needed quality to a struggling Koln side.

One Small problem...

...They're both made of glass

With both men picking up leg injuries within hours of setting through the doors, it seem that my first few steps into life within Koln are going to have to rely on the untapped talents of the men that currently find themselves struggling in a relegation dog-fight.

...joy.

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[PatrickLFC]

That is extraordinary misfortune! Both players look classy though so once they're fit I'm sure they will help. Hopefully you can pull another rabbit out of a hat in Germany!

 

[osullm]

Looks like two good signings when they are fit. Do you have any young players who can cover DC and ML? Looks like there is nothing in the first team squad! Or will you train existing players to new position?

 

[TheBattman]

unbelievable. looking forward to seeing how you get yourself out of this one

 

[dporter8999]

Just read this from page 1, what a career full of ups and downs! Looks like your performances in the premiership explains why they clubs dont employ english managers lol

 

[Death Ball]

Ok, explanation, just an eighties ad for a Cologne brand, where a hot woman in tight, shiny, leather bodysuit in a motorbike, lowered the zipper to show cleavage and then said "I'm looking for Jacq's", so a Jake would fit well at Cologne and might even be so lucky as to be found by said lady.

 

[DerbyJack]

It was certainly a bit of a blow Patrick. Fingers crossed they will come good as soon as they remember how to walk.

Cheers Osullm. I've actually decided to ditch the midfield flanks altogether, I'm going for a central 4-3-2-1 formation...It has the potential to be a complete disaster. In regards to central defenders I've managed to convince a couple of wing-backs they can cut it in the middle.

Thanks alot Battman. Don't hold your breath!

Cheers Dporter, appreciate the effort! Yeah I probably did more damage for English reputation in that league then I thought possible. Although in Belgium...

Haha Cheers Death Ball. You had me at "tight shiny leather bodysuit". I'll keep my eyes peeled!​

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January 2028

13th January 2028
Friendly

First game to kick of my time at the helm of a German club see's me jetting off to Slovakia for a mid-season friendly against Zilina. With the winter break drawing to a close I have little time to get the hang of things in Cologne but a stunning five goal victory on the road shows some welcome signs of fight in this beleaguered squad.


16th January 2028
Friendly

Before getting back to work in the Motherland, there is one last chance for an away friendly. Popping into the capital of near neighbors Austria for a match up against First Vienna, the boys once again impressed well with American striker, Leifeld adding his fourth goal in two games to ensure we earns himself a starting place in my fast approaching opening game.


22nd January 2028
Bundesliga

My debut to the league could not have been tougher as we go toe to toe with former Champions and title chasing, Dortmund at the intimidating Westfalenstadion. With the Yellow and Black force eager to improve their standing in what is proving to be an incredibly close title race, they cruised into a comfortably two goal lead with a late goal proving to be a mere consolation. Welcome to Germany.


25th January 2028
Bundesliga

Having been seen off with relative ease by a seemingly rampant Dortmund, the next game proved to be a much more competitive affair as my second game in charge of the club proves to be a relegation six pointer against bottom of the table Hannover. With both clubs eager to restore their Bundesliga credentials a thrilling game ensued with a fortunate Koln coming out on top.


28th January 2028
Bundesliga

Before I can revel in our previous success and my first victory in the Bundesliga, I am quickly given a reminder of our precarious position in the league as Mainz make short work of our struggling team to cruise into a two goal lead. A goal just before the break could have suggested a second-half fight back was on the cards but a demoralised Koln slumped to the final whistle.


January 2028
Bundesliga

Despite winning just the one game I have already made somewhat of an impact in the league as the Billy-Goats crawl out of the automatic relegation spots with the club now within reaching distance of the luxurious safety found above fifteenth place. The fact it comes on the back of just goal difference alone is a small detail...honest.

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[DerbyJack]

February 2028

5th February 2028
Bundesliga

Continuing to try and build upon my untested reputation in the Bundesliga the boys pull of an impressive second half fight back to claw back a point from a seemingly safe Frankfurt. Having gifted them with a two goal lead within the first twenty minutes of the game it seemed the club was about to make an immediate return to the automatic relegation spots before the encouraging fight-back.


13th February 2028
Bundesliga

With our relegation escape essentially suspended following just one solitary point in the previous two games, we picked up a much needed victory over a mid-table Gladbach. Having shipped in nine goals in my previous games, the clinical one-goal victory courtesy of a solid defensive performance was a welcome boost to my battered back-line.


19th February 2028
Bundesliga

On the back of the impressive victory in the previous game, it seemed we were set to make it back to back victories as two quick fire goals shot us into what should have been a commanding lead before a collapse just before the half-time whistle gifted the seemingly beaten Augsburg with a soft and unwarranted point.


27th February 2028
Bundesliga

Despite just the one previous victory its safe to say that the month was actually going relatively well, with the boys going unbeaten in three matches until we came up against a Europe chasing Stuttgart. Despite fighting at opposite ends of the table we certainly made the match surprisingly competitive missing out thanks to a sublime second-half free-kick.


February 2028
Bundesliga

With club just about managing to eek out enough points to keep our heads above water we remain in the still ever precarious relegation play-off position with Hannover and even Nurnberg keen to make the most of any opportunity that might drift their way should we slip up at any point. With just a couple of months remaining its going to be a tense time in Cologne.

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