The Football Managing Mercenary

[DerbyJack]

March 2022

5th March 2022
Championship

Our unbeaten streak makes a brief appearance into the next month as we tie things up against former Premier League side Burnley. The Turf Moor fan favorite, Andre Gray continued to build his legacy with the club as he twice brought our fellow mid-table opposition back into the game, to salvage a draw and send us home frustrated.


8th March 2022
Championship

The streak comes to an abrupt end courtesy of a reckless challenge from Kehinde late into the second half. With the boys deservedly finding themselves within the points it seemed we were at least going to take something from the game until Barnsley found a second wind against the ten men to ****** the spoils and ensure our mid-table finish.


12th March 2022
Championship

The disappointing defeat does little to damped the teams spirits as they continue to impress in England's second tier to thrash lowly Charlton. The increasingly impressive Connor Furlong alongside young Sam Punter continue to do the damage and the duos efforts have actually seen me finally attract some long awaited attention...

26th March 2022
Championship

With my mind lost in thoughts of Bondi Beach, Bikinis and Barbeques, I took a back seat in the match up against Bristol City. Thankfully a dire first-half ensured I did not miss much with only a trademark clinical Jake Vokins set-piece giving the home-crowd something to cheer about, unfortunately for me, I was left slightly less cheerful come the final whistle...

March 2022
Championship

So Life down under didn't really work out. Turns out the Aussie's aren't exactly swimming in money. With my contract with the Don's coming to a close at the end of the season it seems I've got two months and eight games to try and do my utmost to either eek out some more money from the board or attract myself a wealthy new club. Challenge accepted.


​

 

[Godfish93]

Gutted you aren't off to Oz, would have been an interesting twist!

 

[DerbyJack]

So am I Godfish, never done it before so was genuinley keen to go, however it seems the A-League is rather devoid of cash...

---

April 2022

2nd April 2022
Championship

Not quite the impression I was after but non the less a thrilling game at the KC Stadium at least gave the neutrals something to cheer about. Far from being a welcome opportunity to impress the watching masses, the match saw the emergence of Jake Robertson to the beautiful game as the Arsenal loanee scored his first professional hat-trick as he single-handedly snatched all three points for The Tigers.


5th April 2022
Championship

Seems that I might not quite be about to make the most of this late opportunity to attract a bumper contract. The Mighty Rams have made a complete mess of this season but a late resurgent push has seen the Rams finally start to climb back up the table with another narrow victory ensuring the Championship heavyweights continue to force their way into a respectable position.


9th April 2022
Championship

With the end of season blues seemingly sneaking in, Connor Furlong takes it upon himself to bring the club back to winning ways as he nets a neat brace to see of lowly Cardiff City. The Blue-Birds are all but set for life in League One following a shambolic season and the boys seemingly had little mercy for the down-trodden Welsh side.


16th April 2022
Championship

Having been pushed to the sidelines by his fellow New-Year arrival, Sam Punter, Irish International Frank Mulhern has waited patiently for this moment and the former Everton player certainly didn't waste any more time, with a clinical penalty and a neat second half finish, wrapping up the points against a relegation battling Brighton.


18th April 2022
Championship

Luton are a fine example of just how to drive a club slowly and carefully up the charts and the Hatters showcased their new-found status as a team well and truly on the rise, with a first-half inspired victory that demonstrated just what the former Non-League side have been able to achieve in such a short space of time. Impressive.


23rd April 2022
Championship

For Fleetwood their own raise up the charts has come to a grinding halt. Having ridden their luck through League One and up into the top half of the Championship, The Trawlermen seemed set to emulate the likes of Bournemouth and Fulham as they aimed to smash into the Premier League but a season to forget and a convincing three goal defeat all but condemned them to an unwanted return to League One.


30th April 2022
Championship

An incredibly busy of month of football ends in disappointing fashion as we gift Leeds with a comfortable one goal victory at Stadium:MK. With some of the boys seemingly already switching off for the forth coming break, we barely troubled the Yorkshire giants goal, whilst the former Premier League side deservedly took all three points with a rare moment of attacking football.


April 2022
Championship

With just one game remaining the boys have all but wrapped up their status as a solid Championship club. With nothing left to play for, it simply remains for the boys to end the season in fitting style for their impressive debut season in the League. Time to show them how we do it in Milton Keynes.

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[DerbyJack]

May 2022

8th May 2022
Championship

Well that wasn't exactly the most exciting way to wrap up our debut season in England's second tier. With both clubs having nothing to play for it took Eighty Nine minutes for one of the clubs to actually muster a genuine attempt on goal with Rovers breaking the deadlock to bring an end to a disappointing game. Thankfully my season might not quite be about to end just yet...​

May 2022
Championship

Our first season ends with the club finishing in an impressively lofty, eleventh position. Having started with the club looking to be one of the favorites to suffer an immediate return to League One we ended up taking the entire division as both the club and myself announce ourselves to the Footballing world in style...
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[PatrickLFC]

Paul who? Looks like you weren't just relying on one player after all, Derby Jack is a tactical genius! Great season, hopefully you can secure yourself a better contract with MK Dons or elsewhere for next season!

 

[dani3w]

A good season finishing 11th DJ! Shame the option of heading to Oz fell through, perhaps a trip to the States is on the cards instead

 

[IpswichFan]

What is really impressive about your debut season is not only the fact you finished 2 points behind 9th...
But your goal difference is just phenomenal... 20+ if you could turn some of them low margin defeats into draws or even wins - next year in the championship could be more than just mid table!

Love the story bro - onto next season!!!

 

[TheWanderer]

Nice going! solid season mate. NYC could be interesting but will it get you the attention you need to get to the top clubs? will be interesting!

 

[DerbyJack]

Who indeed Patrick! I honestly still have no idea what is happening or why but I can only presume I have been blessed by the Footballing gods this time around! Thanks as always!

Cheers Dan, who needs white sand beaches and glorious sun when you can have hot-dogs on tap anyway!

Thanks alot IpswichFan! I didn't actually realize that myself, although the entire midfield certainly pulled their weight and then some this season! Fingers crossed they can do it again! Thanks again!

Cheers Wanderer, I wondered that myself, MLS is a bit of a retirement home rather then a breeding ground isn't it?

---

Things are still going abnormally well.

I've somehow continued to ride a monumental wave of good luck all the way to the Championship and the rest of the footballing world has turned their backs on their money-grabbing ways leaving my route to the top wide open.

This could be my year!

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Carlo Ancelotti	Luis Enrique	Diego Simeone
Manchester United	Barcelona	INTER
£150,000 per week	£150,000 per week	£105,000 per week

Before I get ahead of myself and start rubbing shoulders with the likes of Ancelotti and Enrique, I still have to sit from afar watching the Creme de la Creme at work.

For new Old Trafford boss, Carlo Ancelotti it was a dream start to his life in Manchester as he leads the Red Devils to the Premier League title, whilst just missing out on the Champions League Trophy following a thrilling final against French giants, Paris St Germain.

For the ever popular Luis Enrique a La Liga title continued to improve his reputation in the Catalans but despite making an admirable move to fallen giants, Inter Milan, Diego Simeone is unable to transform the Italian side as he struggles to a fifth place finish and a disappointing spot in the Europa League.

With the top three all hard at work to improve their standings, it only remains for me to continue my meteoric raise to the top...

Derby Jack

MK Dons

£4,400 per week

My time with the Dons has come to an end...Well my contract has at least.

Having ridden with the club from League One into a solid Championship position, the Pre-season only remains to see where my future lies.

As it turns out I did not have to wait for long...

With just two seasons with the Dons under my belt, the time has already come for me to venture off to pastures new.

A short trip over the pond and a vague hope that Trump hasn't completely locked the country down by 2022.

...The States awaits!​

 

[Stuartsays]

Always fancied having a crack at NYCFC myself so will be interested in how it goes. The MLS rules look quite complex, would be good if you could explain them as you go...

Very respectable season in the. championship with MK Dons.

 

[dave8721]

awesome, they must have given you a nice wedge to tempt a mercenary like yourself to New Yawk

Good luck, great journey so far

 

[MMcK]

Followed this one last year as well and glad to see the concept get a second run out this year. Inspired me to do something similar and start in South East Asia where I live and try and make a bucket load of money on a jaunt back home to the UK.

Good going in the Championship but I have to admit that the ****** in me was hoping you would have some of the same struggles this year that you did on your last go. Keep it up.

 

[Brane_Orsou]

Well that wasn't expected. Great season and to cap it off with a move NYC is fantastic, how many $$$'s are you getting from uncle Sam?

 

[Bigsum]

Likewise

I have done a similar challenge and have gone the following route so far.

York - Conference - Mid table finish -11/2 seasons
hartlepool - league 2 - 2nd and promotion - 1 seqson
Swindon - 5 seasons - 2 and 1/2 league one the promoted to championship finished 3rd highest
newcastle - 6 months sacked - premiership
Stoke - premie ship - 5 years- last year in Europe but sacked cus of league form
spurs - premiership - second season in Euro league and looking like a 6th placed finish.

i am on 25k and not even in the top ten earners yet! Long way to go.

 

[DerbyJack]

Thanks Stuart. I will try my best, only trouble is, the MLS rules confuse the living **** out of me! This could be interesting!

Cheers Dave! They certainly didn't let me down!


Cheers MMcK. Your adventure sounds much tougher then my own. Wheres about in South East Asia are you right now? I was honestly expecting it to be much more of a struggle then it is. I'm still waiting for the inevitable collapse!

Surprised I was even interviewed for it to be honest Neavie! More then double my current wage, I'll post the exact contract later!

That's some impressive progress though Bigsum. You're way ahead of me already!​

---

So it's Toodleoo not just to the Championship but England too!

With my bags packed and a flight booked across the Atlantic, I'm set for my first ever debut outside of fortress Europa.

Before I can get myself tooled up with some fine American Fire-arms and insanely large portions of Junk Food there is just enough time to take a look back at what I achieved in the beautiful town of Milton Keynes...


2020/21
League One

Having arrived mid-way through the clubs League One campaign, I somehow managed to blunder my way into a quick-fire race for the title, as the Dons make an impressive push for a spot in the Championship. With the seemingly unstoppable 4-2-3-1 formation in full swing the boys took the League by storm to smash our way into England's second tier.


2021/22
Championship

Our debut season in the Championship may have come as a bit of a surprise but the boys proved to be unflappable as they take to life in one of the World's most brutal Leagues with ease. With the squad performing way beyond expectations, attention soon came thick and fast for our hot young talent as well as my own services. A remarkable rise for us both!



A short but incredibly sweet stay in Milton Keynes has the newest club on the block smash their way through League One and now poised and ready for a push into the golden land that is the Premier League.

Part of me almost wishes I could be the one to take them there...

...not my wallet though.

The Empire State awaits!

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[Death Ball]

Great to see you moving to the MLS. Not only is it a step forward in your career but also a chance to see how it works and how someone else goes around with.

 

[DerbyJack]

Thanks Death Ball. I will do my best to explain it but truth be told it's a little overwhelming already. Apologizes if none of this makes much sense!

---

The roll continues!

Having rocked into Milton Keynes, unsure if my entire career was being aided by one giant dose of luck, I managed to glide into England's second tier in quick succession following two solid seasons with the Dons.

Time to see if I am as blessed on Foreign soil.

The Big Apple awaits...​

From the concrete paradise that is Milton Keynes to the City that never sleeps.

Having cut my teeth throughout some of the sleepiest towns in England, the Loud, busy and traffic filled metropolis, with it's cloud reaching Sky-scrapers and bustling culture certainly feels a world away from little old Grimsby.

However there is not time for any home-sickness.

After all, "If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere".​

Now that's more like it.

In just one Trans-Atlantic flight, my wage quadruples in size to reach the dizzying heights of Twelve Grand a week.

With New York City FC part of the world spanning group Manchester City project alongside Aussie side, Melbourne City, it it no sunrise to be quickly impressed by the clubs seemingly vast funds available from the clubs ludicrous wealthy backers.

Time to see what all that money can buy you...​

...apparently not a lot. Way to make this career look pointless again gents.

So first lessons for life in the MLS. Fixtures seem to make no sense what so ever, there is not one but two Leagues and the newest club in New York are the pits in both of them.

In all seriousness life in America is not exactly simple.

The MLS Eastern Conference contains just the clubs along the Atlantic side of the States with the top half going on to some seemingly random Cup tournament involving the Western clubs with the winner being crowned MLS Champions, essentially rendering the entire League pointless. ​

Simple

.
Alongside this gloriously complicated League system runs the MLS Supporters Shield. This would be the closest thing to a League we know across the pond, with a straight forward race to the title combining the two divisions together. Although this would logically seem the most important title...it isn't, with the title being very much a secondary to the MLS Trophy...God Bless America!

Regardless of the bizarre League setup, one thing remains clear.

New York City FC is in dire need of a boost.

Time to light up the world of Soccer!

​

 

[bashuijsmans]

you should change the name of this story to: The soccer managing mercenary

 

[Zanz]

Good luck in America, I get the feeling you'll need it with this team.

 

[DerbyJack]

Hopefully I can educate them on the error of their ways whilst I am over here Bashuijsmans!

Thanks Zanz! Unfortunately so do I!

---

With America deciding that the season will run from March to October, my Summer arrival actually has me flung straight back into work.

With New York City's young legacy in the balance and Three and a half months of football remaining it is time to get this American potential powerhouse back on track.

Time to see just what a ton of Emirates money can bring in...

Apparently it can buy you an absolute tonne of mediocre players, devoid of motive and drive.

Excellent.

With a jam packed squad at my disposal and someone available to player in absolutely every position that ever existed in football, I'm faced with a rather different problem then usual. I need to clear some space.

With the MLS having an incredibly strict wage structure and literally every players wages crucially important to the miserly Sixty Three thousand pound cap, I'm going to need to send players packing from New York like one of Trump's finest Immigration schemes.

Before I get to thinning the squad down, there is just enough time to take a look at two of New York City's finest prospects.

The clubs longest serving player and an Icon in tiny Luxembourg. Maxime Chanot is the heart of the New York's defence. With six seasons of MLS football under his belt and a brief foray in European football, the central defender is one of the most experienced players in the team and will be crucial if we are to turn this team around before the end of the season.

Having learnt the trade with the Galacticos, the son of the legendary Zinedine Zidane is a level above his colleagues at The Yankee Stadium. Despite never breaking into the Real Madrid first team, the Twenty Seven Year Old brings with him the mental attributes of a seasoned professional and will be pulling the strings behind our lone front-men for years to come.



On a side note, as another lesson on the MLS, you may have noticed Enzo raking in an impressive Twenty-Six and a half Thousand pounds a month. The reason we can get away with the Albanian midfield general in the MLS budget is because he is one of two current Designated Players in the Team. For those like myself that didn't know it essentially means that despite technically taking up half of the budget on his own, his designated status means that his wage amounts to just Seven Thousand Pounds of it instead.

It's going to take a while to get used to this whole Soccer thing!

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