The Football Managing Mercenary

[Sammuthegreat]

Crikey.

Every team you played that month had a blue-and-white badge. Except Swansea. **** you, Swansea.

 

[TheBattman]

That's more like it! What do you say in these interviews?!

 

[Matt G]

The board actually hauled you in due to your interest in other jobs? The most I get is snarks in the media. I do find it wierd that lower division clubs in this game think that they should be able to keep hold of you(and you keep hold of players) indefinitely.

 

[DerbyJack]

The Swans ruin everything Sammu!

Apparently just swear words and casual racism. I've honestly tried many different answers. I've even tried my claiming I could get Motherwell into the title run...nothing works!

Yeah I tried telling the Press I was interested in the FC Basel job. The Barnet board apparently could believe I would turn my back on them for a shot at a Swiss Championship and a regular Champions League place. How could I be so rude!

---

January 2028

1st January 2028
EFL Championship

We kick start the year in sensational fashion as we soundly destroy Preston North End. With some bleary eyes making their way to the early kick-off at The Hive, most of them must have believed they were still far too drunk as their impressive Bee's romped to an outstanding white-wash victory over the Championship stalwarts.


8th January 2028
FA Cup - 3rd Rnd

Having knocked the Swans out of the League Cup they quickly return the favor back in the FA Cup as a thrilling game at The Liberty Stadium is decided by the brilliance of experienced striker Tammy Abraham. The long serving Swansea sharpshooter was at his lethal best as a clinical hat-trick and a harsh penalty see's us instantly exit the competition. Apparently Italians don't care the FA Cup anyway...

11th January 2028
EFL Championship

Back to the League and back to winning ways.

Blackburn joined us in the League One promotion party last season and our fellow new-boys have certainly taking to life in the Championship with ease. Despite Rovers sitting pretty in mid-table it did little to put off a Barnet side seemingly determined to bankrupt bookies across the Country. One thing far safer to place your money on however was yet another failed interview.

22nd January 2028
EFL Championship

With the Footballing gods taking with one hand and giving with another, I once again look to make the most of my opportunities to impress some potential new employers as we go toe to toe with a West Bromwich Albion side seemingly destined to once more take up their place in the Premier League. An encouraging one-all draw however wasn't enough to impress my League Cup vanquishers...

29th January 2028
EFL Championship

If there is one thing I have learnt from the last few months, it's that I am literally tainted goods in the job market. Despite seeing myself linked with a number of European heavyweights, I once again have found myself merely watching on as the they pass me by. A Three goal defeat did little to cheer my lowly mood. Thankfully I can dry my tears into yet another Barnet backed coaching licence...

January 2028
EFL Championship

Well at least we're still smashing expectations in the League?

With a bruised and battered ego, I return to the Hive to once more guide the Bee's to another season of over-achieving.

Unfortunately it is becoming rather apparent that despite being at the helm of a rapidly raising Barnet, the footballing big-wigs are all still very much aware that I have no idea how we got here.

I feel exposed.


​

 

[Brane_Orsou]

I'm sure with another season of over achieving you'll soon be snapped up by a bigger club! Even if it's one of the EPL boys coming down

 

[TheLuckDuck]

The offers will start rolling in when you keep Barnet up

 

[DerbyJack]

Fingers crossed Neavie, I think I'm ready for at least a realistic shot at the top-flight but can't bemoan this current run with the mighty Bees.

I hope so LuckDuck, we're certainly looking good for it so far!

---

February 2028

5th February 2028
EFL Championship

Myself and the Championship Managing veteran, Mick McCarthy have developed somewhat of a rivalry courtesy of the press hyping us up as the two clubs both over-achieving this season but a Three goal demolition job of Mick's Robins left us very much proving to be the Heavyweights of punching way above our weight this season.


12th February 2028
EFL Championship

Former Premier League outfit Millwall are struggling to mount a resurgent push back into the top-flight but a routine victory over a down-trodden Barnet, saw the Den once again filled with belief that they might just be able to make a late surge back into the promised land. Thankfully I might have found my own route to the top. Based on my recent track record I won't hold my breath...

15th February 2028
EFL Championship

Whilst I nonchalantly play down the prospect of a big money move to Moscow, whilst also doing my best brush up on my Russian and stock-piling Vodka, the Bee's play out one of the worst performances of the season thus far as they are once again on the wrong end of a Four goal demolition job against another Premier League chasing side in the shape of Hull City.


19th February 2028
EFL Championship

These ungrateful "fans" don't know what got them here.

As the Lazy-I formation takes a resounding battering around the Barnet faithful, we succumb to another disappointing loss as we are easily seen off in a one-sided battle of the Bee's. A dominant performance from start to finish was only disrupted by a Jackson thunderbolt and a fortunate own-goal as I can only hope Moscow have boycotted Championship football for the last two weeks.


22nd February 2028
EFL Championship

That's more like it. The boys continue to refuse to go down without a fight as they return to winning ways with a dominant performance over a Barnsley side struggling to keep their heads above water. Despite a welcome Three points back in the bag it seems The Russians have finally caught up with my mid-month collapse...

February 2028
EFL Championship

We're still flying high.

The boys refuse to let Three defeats, Thirteen goals and want-away manager stifle their impressive Championship debut as they continue to keep their distance from the Relegation battlers.

With just Three months remaining in the League the boys now stand just Eleven points away from the all important Fifty point target.

Nothing can stop this remarkable squad.


​

 

[Sammuthegreat]

At this rate, your best bet to get into the top flight will be sticking with Barnet!

 

[DerbyJack]

I think you might be right Sammu, they just don't know when their beat!

---

March 2028

4th March 2028
EFL Championship

It's never nice getting one over the mighty Rams but with a thunderous effort from our seemingly inspired Scottish striker, Innes Cameron, the Bee's once again pick up points over the East Midland's finest. The club icon has been a mainstay at the business end for Barnet since their days in League Two and looks set to remain so well into our Championship adventure.


7th March 2028
EFL Championship

The boys are unable to pick up back to back victories as a late goal from Leeds see's the former English heavyweights reclaim what could prove to be a valuable point. To their credit the visitors full deserved their draw with the a clumsy own goal the only reason we managed to find ourselves in control towards the end of the game.


18th March 2028
EFL Championship

Rounding off the month comes to a deflating defeat to Queens Park Rangers. The Loftus Road crowd looked set to bare witness to another Barnet shock victory but the game suddenly burst into life just beyond the hour mark as the Home-side smashed home a quick-fire brace before cruelly shutting down our own late leveler to steal all Three points late on.


March 2028
EFL Championship

We're not letting go of this Sixteenth place.

With March only managing to shell out a trio of matches we're in for a busy spell in April as we look to round off the season well clear of the relegation zone.

It's going to be a surprisingly relaxed end of season for the Bee's.


​

 

[Embrano]

I just caught up and wanted to thank you for this amazing story and for bringing me back to FM after almost 2 years.
I literally read the whole story the last 2 days and just couldn't stop.

 

[DerbyJack]

Cheers Embrano, I really do appreciate it! Thanks very much for reading it all! Two days of my useless management is enough to test any mans passion for football! I really appreciate it

---

April 2028

1st April 2028
EFL Championship

The Black Cats are doing their utmost to maintain their place in the Championship following their brief stint in the depths of League One but an end to end game of football saw the Bee's force the visitors further into the mire as winger Chris Brinkhurst scores a late winner to continue his impressive debut season in Barnet.


4th April 2028
EFL Championship

Setting the tone for an insanely busy month of football, the club are straight back into action just Three days later as they are easily dispatched by a Burnely side seemingly destined for a return to the Premier League. Despite being head and shoulders above the level of our buoyant squad we still managed to give them a brief scare....for all of Two minutes.


8th April 2028
EFL Championship

Portsmouth have done their best to establish themselves as a Championship side but with the season coming down to the final few matches, the Pompey faithful look set to brace themselves for a return to life in League One once again. With Welsh midfielder Gwyn Wells smashing home a winner, those FA Cup finals must seem like a long distant memory.


11th April 2028
EFL Championship

A long season and a punishing run of games see's the boys finally start to show signs of fatigue as they struggle to keep up with the pace of a promotion chasing Norwich. Having secured a surprise lead late into the first-half, the Canaries eventually made their expected breakthrough with a fortunate own-goal and a quick-fire winner securing all Three points for the home side.


15th April 2028
EFL Championship

Having struggled to the final whistle in the previous game the boys are this time slow to get started as they are forced to settle for an unexpected home defeat before the break courtesy of Three goals from a determined Plymouth side. To their credit a Lloyd Neal inspired second-half saw the boys thankfully make a fight out of the game with a late effort at least making us look competitive.


17th April 2028
EFL Championship

This run of fixtures is nothing short of punishing.

Continuing to show no sign of ending their recent yo-yo form throughout Ninety minutes, the boys stun Swansea to claim a Two goal lead early into the second half. That dominance lasted until the hour mark until the Swans apparently realised just what was happening before they smashed home Four rapid fire goals to send the Bee's fans home with their tails between their legs.


22nd April 2028
EFL Championship

We're back to winning ways.

This time it seemed neither club was keen to kick-start the game as both the Bee's and the Blues played out one of the dullest halves of football imaginable. Thankfully with just Quarter of an Hour remaining Lloyd Neal woke up a slumbering Hive crowd with super sub, Matty Gould doubling the lead to claim an important Three points.


29th April 2028
EFL Championship

Sheffield Wednesday have rumbled their way around the Championship for over a decade now and look set to once again remain stranded in the most frustrating League in Football. A Two goal lead saw the Owls shoot into a deserved lead but following an encouraging and now expected Barnet fightback, it took a late Pearson winner to settle the nerves in the Steel City.


April 2028
EFL Championship

This spot is ours.

With just one game remaining the clubs status in the League is confirmed with ease, as the boys smash their way through the Fifty point mark.

All that remains now is to see if we can claim a higher spot as possible. With fellow promoted clubs, Bury and Blackburn now just a couple of points ahead of us we still have a degree of pride to play for.

Our status as the League's surprise package is on the line.


​

 

[TheBattman]

Great season for the club, albeit somewhat disappointing you've not been able to get your move! Having predicted your imminent departure several times now, I'm not going to bother - you'll be stuck at Barnet until you're either in the Prem or sacked!

 

[DerbyJack]

Cheers Battman! If this works, you're going to have to wish the worst upon me throughout the rest of this career. I need to break out of the Hive!

---

May 2028

With a brief respite between the a frantic month of football and our final game of the season, the board take it upon themselves to inject some drama into the down-time as they look to quickly take advantage of the clubs new found Championship status...

From the darkest depths of League Two, to the fringes of the Premier League.

Barnet's raise up the standings has been nothing short of remarkable.

With the fans lapping up the clubs recent successes, the prospect of moving to a brand new Stadium in the Capital must have felt almost too good to be true...

Spoilsports.

With the Barnet faithful hastily arranging a furious march on Westminster, the clubs hopes of moving from the Hive are quickly shelved as the ambitious board are pegged back by a kill-joy council.

To be honest, The Hive is such a well named Stadium I didn't even want to leave.

_______

7th May 2028
EFL Championship

I guess it's a good job this wasn't the final home game at The Hive.

With the opportunity to leapfrog our fellow former League One side's Blackburn and today's visitors Bury on the line, the boys instantly kiss any hope of making any more progress up the standings goodbye as midfield general Danny Killock opts to take an extended Summer break with a first-half red card proving all too costly.

Thankfully the final day defeat didn't seem to do my sky rocketing reputation any harm...

May 2028
EFL Championship

We dropped a place....this is a travesty.

Having been teased and rejected by numerous European clubs in the last few months, it's hard to get excited by the prospect of taking over at two European heavyweights...but that won't stop me.

With caffeine fueled Austrian giants, Red Bull Salzburg and the prestigious Roma eyeing me up, it seems my survival with the Bee's is certainly set to reap a massive reward.

Surely now I've earned my way out of here...

​

 

[Brane_Orsou]

Surely after the last few seasons of constant overachieving a bigger club will take a chance on you. Would be totally deserved!

 

[Sammuthegreat]

It would be so typical of this save if you got rejected by Motherwell and then got the Roma job.

 

[TheBattman]

If you have been rejected by all those clubs and get the Roma job.........wow

 

[Embrano]

wow, I would love to see you in Rome. I'm currently managing them and I'm as good as you were at your first 2 clubs ;-) So they will probably sack me and then you could save them xD

 

[Edd1920]

lol...this is genuinely tense - come on Roma, you know you want to!

 

[DerbyJack]

I hope so Neavie! Truth be told I'm sensing my luck at Barnet might be about to run out rather soon!

It does suggest that perhaps Roma have stooped to a rather low level... either that or Motherwell are now a footballing powerhouse!

It was all part of the footballing gods plan Battman!

You have no idea how good to hear that someone else is able to reach new lows like me Embrano. I've always loved Serie A, a disappointing spell in Rome should kill that off quite nicely.

I dread hitting continue when I'm awaiting news on a dream job Edd!

---

It's hard to concentrate on life in the borough of Barnet right now...

With the lights of Italy and Switzerland beckoning me to Europe, I spent the majority of preseason awaiting to book plane tickets to the continent...
​

...Fine.

That's it. I'm destined to forever remain lodged in place at The Hive.

Joy.

Whilst I drown my sorrows and begrudgingly accept the fact that I am apparently tainted goods throughout the entirety of Europe there is enough time to check in on Three men with infinitely more luck then myself...

​

Massimiliano Allegri	Carlo Ancelotti	Unai Emery
Real Madrid	Manchester United	Chelsea
£155,000 per week	£96,000 per week	£91,000 per week

The Special One has fallen...again.

Remaining high at the top of the standings by quite some distance is still the untouchable Massimiliano Allgeri. A domestic treble of silverware see's the untouchable Italian seemingly pass the ultimate test at the Bernabeu as his golden touch continues.

Back in England, Carlo Ancelotti and the recently departed Jose quickly resolve their brief war in Manchester as the Italian veteran see's off the once untouchable Mourinhio as he leads his United boys to end City's recent dominance.

Despite the Manchester war seemingly coming to an end, a new challenger has emerged in the shape of the new Third highest earner in Football, Unai Emery. Are Chelsea set to end Manchester reign entirely?

Probably Not.

With a giant space now opening at one of the Richest clubs in the world however, its surely only a matter of time before a Managerial legend shoe-horns themselves into the top Three...

Simeone, Guardiola, Conte.... Jack?

Derby Jack

Barnet

£2,500 per week

Forget everything.

I'm on a course to the very top.

From the depths of the Championship to the dizzy heights of not just the Premier League but one of the wealthiest clubs in the world too.

For the first time in perhaps this entire challenge's history I'm actually within touching distance of completing it.

We survived. The Bee's more then proved themselves and have every right to be optimistic for the future.... but more importantly I'm about to be rich.


​

 

[Sammuthegreat]

Haha! What?!