The Joke Thread

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My wife said she wanted to talk to me about my obsession with Football Manager.

However, I did not want to attend the meeting, so I sent my assistant instead.

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Wish me luck guys I've got a trial soon at Man United to see if I'm good enough for Alex Ferguson.

It's the biggest day in any young referee's career

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He's bald, he's red, he sleeps in Fergies bed. Howard Webb, Howard Webb!
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Ohhh to be pwned by a Smart Asre ;)

b6c71d8e139012aebeb45369fbcc239f.jpg
 
David Beckham has turned down a move to PSG.
He's quoted as saying he did this because "German is a hard language to learn and I want to finish trying to learn American"​
 
Ever noticed during international football matches, the score shows three letters to show which country is playing which, such as 'ENG 3-0 FRA' - I wonder if that's why I've never seen NIGeria play GERmany?...
 
I'm afro caribbean who can laugh at myself! *I see we're swamped with the political correctness gone mad brigade* Priceless!

Three Celtic fans walk into a bar... A priest, a poof and a pedo... And that was just the first one.
 
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Ever noticed during international football matches, the score shows three letters to show which country is playing which, such as 'ENG 3-0 FRA' - I wonder if that's why I've never seen NIGeria play GERmany?...

It would say NGA - GER...
 
Don't let your affection give you an infection. Put some protection on that erection​
 
Ever noticed during international football matches, the score shows three letters to show which country is playing which, such as 'ENG 3-0 FRA' - I wonder if that's why I've never seen NIGeria play GERmany?...

Not Nigeria, but close enough;

nigeria-germany.png
 
‎"Wow, exactly as I left it!"- Thierry Henry on seeing Arsenal's trophy cabinet.​
 
BREAKING NEWS.


Elton John is wanting to buy Aston Villa, he's heard a rumour that the strikers are Bent and Keane.
 
S.O.P.A. huh? well......S.O.P.A= Some Old Pedophiles Acting GAY AS ****!

from a youtube comment.
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I saw a sign that made me **** myself.. It said "bathroom closed"
 
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