Speculation linking
John Terry with a move to the Bernabéu during the summer. In a rumour that just doesn't stack up no matter what way you scrutinise it, La Gazzetta dello Sport reports that José Mourinho wants to bring his former Chelsea captain to Real Madrid. But we're not buying that one, not least because we reckon (a) the Special One will leave the club during the summer, (b) a little birdie once told us Terry may have been instrumental in getting Mourinho the bullet from Stamford Bridge, (c) Real Madrid are unlikely to be interested in signing a 30-year-old with three years remaining on his contract and (d) the chances of Terry going to live in the Spanish capital seem about as remote as our chances of convincing Kate Middleton to ditch Prince William at the altar and marry us in Croydon registry office instead.
With Tottenham Hotspur's chances of playing Champions League football next season looking increasingly bleak, Chelsea will attempt to prise PFA Player of the Year Gareth Bale away from White Hart Lane with a £40m bid that modern mores dictate we describe as "audacious". Stamford Bridge suits will also use a big-money offer in an attempt to turn the head of Ajax right-back Gregory van der Wiel, if the Mirror is to be believed.
The Rumour Mill likes nothing better than a good old-fashioned "sensational double-swoop" and was therefore intrigued to learn that "Italian giants Juventus" are circling Eastlands,
with one beady eye trained on Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini and the other on defender Micah Richards, according to Italian newspaper Tuttosport. Languishing in seventh place in the Serie A table, with no chance whatsoever of securing Champions League football next season, La Vecchia Signora would have to be at her most seductive to lure either man to the Stadio Olimpico di Torino.
Andrey Arshavin has taken to sporting an amusing Eastern bloc-style sensible haircut similar to that of former Emirates stalwart Oleg Luzhny in a bid to stand out from the herd. Enjoy it while it lasts – aware that patience with the Russian must be wearing thin in north London, the Zenit St Petersburg sporting director Igor Korneev has offered to re-sign the underachieving midfielder should Arsène Wenger decide to show him the door. "Zenit's doors are always open for Andrey," said Korneev. "If his situation at Arsenal does not improve and he's not comfortable in London, we can study this issue in time for next season."
And finally, Manchester United still yearn for
Bayern Munich's French midfielder Franck Ribéry and look to have beaten Roma, Bayern Munich and Arsenal in the race to secure the scrawl of £3m-rated
Lens defender Raphael Varane, who is equally French.