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Swansea A.F.C sold, out of nowhere!
Swansea Chairman Huw Jenkins sells his club, and steps down as manager!


Reporter: Huw, why????
Huw: I remember the good old days watching my football club, when i was a child and young adult. It was fun. Ever since taking over the club, it has not been so fun. I have succeeded in making Swansea a good English Premier League club, but I did not get time too enjoy the club, like I used too... I promise the fans, that I am leaving the club in excellent hands, and will be on as an advisor of sorts for the new chairman and board.

American Billionaire genius takes over Swans!

Facebook founder, genius, and billionaire Mark Zuckerberg, has announced that he is taking over as chairman of Swansea!

Fox Sports analyst Alexi Lalas was on hand to handle the interview...(O boy)

Alexi Lalas: Mark, tell us about your vision?
MZ: I am just glad to have this oppurtunity, I hope to make this team a successful powerhouse for years to come.
AL: Will you be receiving any help from former chairman Huw?
MZ: Of course he will be an advisor of sorts, and said I can ask for help whenever I needed it.
AL: Will we be seeing a lot of facebook in the EPL?
MZ: Actually on my way in I promised a fan, that I wouldn't be putting in their words "That ugly *** facebook logo" on the jerseys. We will be seeing some boards for sure though!
AL: Who will be on your board?
MZ: I was able to get together a bunch of club legends to agree to come here. This list includes: Managing Director: Alan Curtis, Directors: Nick Cusack, Wyndham Evans, and Herbie Williams.
AL: Come on do you really think those old fogies will be able to help you?
MZ: More than you ever could, you witless chump. I asked for Michael Ballack, and I get you instead...
Alexi Lalas: Ouch! So Mark Zuckerberg, you own a soccer team... Do you anything about soccer?
Mark Zuckerberg: Some people have told me, that somehow I know more than you, so I'll take that as a good start!
AL: Well then! good luck (with his stupid Alexi Lalas pout, F@#@# chump!)

The Swans will be keeping Garry Monk for now!
Zuckerberg's first piece of business, was signing Charlie Austin from Q.P.R for 20 million (I am in the US, we don't have the british pounds symbol)
Nobody is listed, but everyone is available for the right price.
 
Chelsea

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Chelsea have announced their first signing of the transfer window and its former Barcelonai Prodigy Bojan, Its believed Chelsea paid £8Million plus the services of Club Legend Didier Drogba to sign Bojan and complete their first foray in the transfer market.
With Obi Mikel and Loic Remy having already left its believed Chelsea are still looking at bringing some players in but may get priced out of the C2C market.​
 
Hey guys i have had at least 5 loan offers for Kurt Zouma so if your really interested im going to want his wages paid in full and a small fee
 
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Ledley King takes over at Spurs!!


SkySports: We are joined here live with the new Tottenham Hotspurs owner, Ledley King. Ledley, where in earth did you manage to get the money to purchase your boyhood club?


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King: This project has been in the works since I retired a few years back, thousands of wealthy fans have gathered together the funds needed to purchase the club they support. I am basically the face of those fans, although I myself have used a majority of my lifetime earnings to go towards purchasing the club and I own the controlling percentage of 14%.


Sky Sports: This is certainly not something we could have imagined happenings at such a big club, this is sure to shake things up. Since you have gathered the funds to purchase the clubs, is there any money left to improve upon the squad at this time?


King: Well Jim, the purchase of the club has definitely been where the majority of the funds have gone but there are funds available, nothing crazy though!

We would hope that the manager could work with core of the team and build upon it in the coming seasons but for the first season there is only enough money to bring in 1 top player or maybe 2 backup players. If the manager wants to bring in more players then funds will need to be raised through selling unwanted players.


SkySports: Sounds interesting and hopefully the manager can get the best out of a team that has surely got the quality but has failed to impress since Bale left for Madrid. Would you like to give us a run through of your vision for the club?

King: Of course, this is the exciting part.

The majority of the first team will remain as it is for the time being, I dont want to change things up too much too quick. The spine of the team being as follows:

Lloris
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World class goalkeeper who is attracting attention form a number of top teams. The fans have nothing to worry about, as we plan to have to have him as our number 1 for the next 10 years!



Vertongen
View attachment 304029
Fantastic centre back with great leadership skills! He will keep the team in check and ensure the defence protects the goalkeeper.


Eriksen

View attachment 304028
A young player with unbelievable talent. The team, formation and tactics will be laid out to suit his qualities! He is tied down to a long contract and have no plans on letting him go, no matter the offer.


Harry Kane
View attachment 304027
Harry, a local lad, has come through our youth academy and has shown that he is a great talent who already has what it takes to play in the premier leagues. Harry has also just signed a brand new 5 and half year contract with Tottenham, ensuring he stays with us until at least 2020. I am excited to see how he progresses!

==============

This is the core of the team, in which the rest of the team will be built around these 4 players. I am hoping to see more from Chadli and Lamela this year to boast our attacking threat.

I want the team to play attractive attacking football when it matters but I would like to also concede less goals than spurs fans have been used to seeing!

I want the club to bring through younger players and gradually bring them into the 1st team fold.

The rest, I leave to the manager.


SkySports: Just to ensure we have this assumption right, Pochettino will stay in charge for the time being?

King: Pochettino, did a fantastic job at Southampton. I enjoyed the way in which laid his team out to attack, he also had no problem using the younger players. Therefore I see no reason for me to look for a new manager, we will continue to honor the same contract that was laid out under previous ownership.

SkySports: Lastly, lets talk transfer listed players. Who are you looking to move on, if anyone?


King: I would like the manager to control this side of things. If Pochettino wants to keep players then they will not be sold.

I have been speaking to him earlier today and he has given me a list of players he is looking to move on, some on loan and some permanently. The list is as follows:

Transfer List

Kaboul
29DC£7.5 Million
Capoue26DM£10 Million
Mason24MC/AMC£5 Million
Townsend23LW/RW£10 Million
Adebayor30ST£5 Million

*Those listed in red have been sold*

Any player not mentioned above may aslo be sold at the right price, PM me with offer or for details!



SkySports: Interesting list! Thanks for your time Ledley, we shall talk again soon!


King: My pleasure.

And remember fans, To dare is to do!!!



 
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West Ham United announces transfer list.


Today West Ham United gives an announcement for the journalists. They're put 4 player to transfer list.

Carlton Cole, striker£1m
Ricardo Vaz Té, attacking midfielder£3.5m
Guy Demel, defender£200k
Diego Poyet, defender£6m

They also communicate that they're willing to listen every offer for every player.
West Ham United also announces that they're got Muhamed Besic for 1 year with a loan-agreement what includes €7.5m future fee, too.
 
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Hull City announcing first deals

Kamara active in the market.
Hull City would like to welcome our first two recruits of this transfer window. Chairman Chris Kamara was quoted at being delighted with these captures, as they address what he, and Manager Steve Bruce, considered the weaker positions in the squad.


The first signing is a loan signing from the reigning champions,Man City, namely the goalkeeper ***** Caballero. Caballero is an experienced stopper, that will make sure the back four have some excellent assistance this season. Kamara believes this will be quite the coup for Hull, and that ***** can secure them several points on his own in the battle for a positive league position this season.


The second signing is Argentinian Winger Sebastian Blanco, who joins on a permanent deal from West Bromwich. Chief Scout Stan Ternents trip to Birmingham proved key in this deal, as he highly recommended the technically gifted Argentinian international. Hull City wish to express their gratitude to WBA chairman Adrian Chiles for the very productive negotiations regarding this transfer, which happens for an undisclosed fee.

Chris Kamara wishes to state that Hull will continue to be active in the market, and that several of his players are available at the moment for any interested party.



Nikica Jelavic - 5,5M
Dame N'Doye - 6M
Yannick Sagbo - 2,5M
Liam Rosenior - 1M
Michael Dawson - 3,5M
David Meyler - 4,5M
Stephen Quinn - 500K
Alex Bruce - 500K
Allan McGregor - 1.5M
 


Calton Cole, striker£1m

When i loaded the save file i also had Carlton Cole in my squad (WBA)…...

I know the deal almost went through but fell through, so am not sure if Carlton Cole has been duplicated then?
 
Actually.. I don't know.. I haven't checked the save file yet, because I'm not at home this week.. but as I read the deals fall in the last hour and Cole stayed at West Ham.. so I think LFC can't follow the story and he made a mistake.. We should wait for bornexplorer to know what he say.
 
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Carlton Cole, striker£1m
When i loaded the save file i also had Carlton Cole in my squad (WBA)…...
I know the deal almost went through but fell through, so am not sure if Carlton Cole has been duplicated then?

Carlton Cole will be moved back to West Ham, as the deal did fall through late on.


what are we doing about burnley? the guy doesnt want to carry it on anymore...

Would have been nice if he told me... I'll PM one of the reserves.
 
Swans scoop up 500 year old Irish Ancient legend goalkeeper!

​Swansea has sealed a 200 k move for Shay Given of Aston Villa. When asked about the move. Zuckerberg responded, "Well we only have 2 first team goalies, and I heard Fabianski likes to recklessly run into posts and ****, so I had to bring in a 3rd option."
 
Carlton Cole will be moved back to West Ham, as the deal did fall through late on.




Would have been nice if he told me... I'll PM one of the reserves.

IIRC, the stranded Carlton Cole deal also meant that Brown Ideye didn't get sold as well. In that case, he should be transferred back to WBA, and the transfer-sum should be removed?
 
IIRC, the stranded Carlton Cole deal also meant that Brown Ideye didn't get sold as well. In that case, he should be transferred back to WBA, and the transfer-sum should be removed?
based on what i've seen Brown Ideye has gone... and therefore will not come back to WBA
 
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Sky-Sports-Logo.svg


Breaking news at Anfield - John W Henry has sold Liverpool FC


The news has come hours after hearing that nearly every other club has been sold. We caught up with Mr Henry to see why he has done this, and he had this to say:

"Well I was watching Sky sports news in my pants and sparking up a doobie as I always do on a Wednesday morning and I saw that every other owner were selling their clubs. I couldn't understand what was going on! I phoned Tom Werner to see what in blazes was going on!"

"We both decided that this must be a trend, and I didn't want to be left out so I immediately put the club on Gumtree, We had some interesting phone calls with a few people who were interested, Brian Blessed called me but he just kept shouting HELLMANS!!! down the phone and he frightened me, Boris Johnson called and enquired but his hair is just too extreme for this club"


"In the end we sold the club to a man who has had previous experience in running a football club (if you have followed these Chairman games before)"

We asked for more of a clue about who this man was:

"I can't tell you who he is yet (you will find out if you scroll down) but he when I tried to squeeze extra money out of the deal he said "You should have cloned yourself, so you can go f**k yourself"

gty_arnold_schwarzenegger_jt_130302_wblog.jpg


Arnold Scwarzenegger has bought Liverpool FC

The man is back in English football! He once took over Arsenal and was hated by the fans, he Sacked Arsene Wenger, Hired Tottenham manager AVB, then rehired Wenger to fire him a few months later

Fans are said to be a bit nervous about this takeover just because of the amount this man likes to get involved

We managed to catch a few words with Arnie and this is what he had to say

"I am very pleased to be here today, I thought the ad was a joke when I saw it but it is a dream come true, Liverpool FC is a club with a great history and I look forward to taking the club into the future!"

"With immediate effect I have decided to rename the club the Liverpool Terminators! and I will be looking at changing the badge for the better! I like to be heavily involved in transfers and will be assisting the new manager once he is appointed"

"I am looking to get rid of Brendan Rogers as he talks in a funny accent and I can't really understand him, I know my accent isn't the best but his is ridiculous!"


I repeat, Brendan Rogers is available!!!

We tried to ask him if he had any plans for the players at the squad already:

"I can't discuss this now as I am late for a 'business meeting' with John Terry at the local strip joint, but stick around because .... I'll be back!


Every player is available for sale at the right price! I also like swap deal!




 
I started the above post at 11 am....took me a while whilst working :p
 
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