Funniest Chat Up Lines EVER!!

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Reading all of these....who says romance is dead.....XD
 
Thought I'd revive this thread.. ;)


Look at the keyboard - U and I are together.

Now look underneath, so are JK ;)
 
I used this one at the weekend ''Suck me beautiful''

 It worked to an extent; I pulled ;)
 
" girl are you tired, cos you been running through my mind alll daaaay :P"
 
Help the homeless. Take me home.

I miss my teddy bear, will you sleep with me ?

If you were a bogey I'd pick you !

Good job I got my library card with me, cuz I'm checkin you out (H)

Just somee weird ones I can think of right now.:P
 
Just thought of this:
'Let me plug you in baby, cos you're electrifying!!!'
 
Last edited:
1. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ***? No. ****!
2. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
3. Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes"> Take me home with you.
4. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
5. Do you have any Irish in you? (if no�) Would you like some? (if yes�) Want some more?
6. Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
7. Do you have the time? [Gives the time"> No, the time to write down my number?
8. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow-job? [No!"> Do you want to do lunch?
9. Do you know the essential difference between *** and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
10. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
11. I'm a frog but if u kiss me I'll turn into a prince
12. Excuse me, I am about to go home to ********** and needed a name to go with the face.
13. Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
14. For a fat chick, you sure have small ****.
15. Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
16. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
17. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
18. Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
19. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, lets talk"
20. Nice dress, it'd look good on my bedroom floor
21. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman ********** with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."
22. I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
23. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
24. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!
25. If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"
26. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
27. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
28. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
29. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?"> Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
30. I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
31. Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
32. Say, did we go to different schools together?
33. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
34. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
35. Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
36. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar"> He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
37. You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.
38. Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes? (female version)
or
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers? (male version)
39. You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.
40. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
41. I'm an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need
42. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would ***."
43. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
44. **** me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
45. Say, did we go to different schools together?
46. Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
47. Wow! Are those real?
48. Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
49. You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon
50. I'll bet you �50 I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
51. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
52. "I'm on fire, can I run through your sprinkler?"
53. Your Daddy must be a farmer because you grew some nice melons?
54. That dress looks real becoming on you. Of course if I was that dress I'd be coming too.
55. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
56. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
57. There are 206 bones in the human body, want one more?
58. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
59. (Lick finger than touch girl's clothing) Let's get you out of those wet clothes.
60. Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
61. Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
62. Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.
63. If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays
64. (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
65. If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
66. I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
67. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
68. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
69. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
70. You know what would look good on you? Me
71. So do ya wanna see something really swell?
72. I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
73. I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
74. Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
75. I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
76. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist
77. Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.
78. **** me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?
79. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?(Pull your pockets inside out....) Would u like to?
80. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a ****? [Slap"> HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
81. Are you as good as your mother?
82. Would you like to see my circumcision scar?
83. I have a two minute recovery time.
84. Didn't I do your sister?
85. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see my-self in your pants.
86. F**k me if I am wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
87. Yo. You'll do.
88. Do you have a boyfriend? Well when you want a MAN-friend, come and talk to me!
89. Is there a Rainbow, because you're the treasure I've been searching for.
90. What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
91. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand
92. Why don't we go back to my place and do the things I'm going to tell people we did anyway?
93. [Look at her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":"> Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
94. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
95. Do you want to see something swell?
96. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
97. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
98. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
99. If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together
100. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
 
Coach Carter said:
1. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ***? No. ****!
2. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
3. Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes"> Take me home with you.
4. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
5. Do you have any Irish in you? (if no�) Would you like some? (if yes�) Want some more?
6. Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
7. Do you have the time? [Gives the time"> No, the time to write down my number?
8. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow-job? [No!"> Do you want to do lunch?
9. Do you know the essential difference between *** and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
10. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
11. I'm a frog but if u kiss me I'll turn into a prince
12. Excuse me, I am about to go home to ********** and needed a name to go with the face.
13. Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
14. For a fat chick, you sure have small ****.
15. Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
16. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
17. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
18. Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
19. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, lets talk"
20. Nice dress, it'd look good on my bedroom floor
21. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman ********** with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."
22. I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
23. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
24. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!
25. If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"
26. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
27. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
28. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
29. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?"> Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
30. I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
31. Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
32. Say, did we go to different schools together?
33. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
34. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
35. Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
36. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar"> He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
37. You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.
38. Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes? (female version)
or
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers? (male version)
39. You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.
40. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
41. I'm an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need
42. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would ***."
43. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
44. **** me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
45. Say, did we go to different schools together?
46. Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
47. Wow! Are those real?
48. Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
49. You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon
50. I'll bet you �50 I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
51. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
52. "I'm on fire, can I run through your sprinkler?"
53. Your Daddy must be a farmer because you grew some nice melons?
54. That dress looks real becoming on you. Of course if I was that dress I'd be coming too.
55. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
56. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
57. There are 206 bones in the human body, want one more?
58. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
59. (Lick finger than touch girl's clothing) Let's get you out of those wet clothes.
60. Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
61. Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
62. Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.
63. If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays
64. (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
65. If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
66. I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
67. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
68. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
69. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
70. You know what would look good on you? Me
71. So do ya wanna see something really swell?
72. I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
73. I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
74. Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
75. I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
76. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist
77. Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.
78. **** me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?
79. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?(Pull your pockets inside out....) Would u like to?
80. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a ****? [Slap"> HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
81. Are you as good as your mother?
82. Would you like to see my circumcision scar?
83. I have a two minute recovery time.
84. Didn't I do your sister?
85. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see my-self in your pants.
86. F**k me if I am wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
87. Yo. You'll do.
88. Do you have a boyfriend? Well when you want a MAN-friend, come and talk to me!
89. Is there a Rainbow, because you're the treasure I've been searching for.
90. What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
91. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand
92. Why don't we go back to my place and do the things I'm going to tell people we did anyway?
93. [Look at her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":"> Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
94. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
95. Do you want to see something swell?
96. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
97. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
98. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
99. If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together
100. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Click to expand...

I hope to **** that was copy and pasted :P
 
Guy: Would you like to dance?
Girl: I don't like this song, but even if I did I wouldn't dance with you.
Guy: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants.
 
- "You're the best looking girl in this bar and I'm a compulsive liar" then walk away.
- If at any stage of picking up she says "I have a boyfriend" reply with "I have a goldfish" to which she replies "Pardon me?" then follow it up with "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were talking about irrelevant things".
 
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