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I think this is, comfortably, the
worst ever European cup final that has been played in the history of football. With an exciting young Norwich side which broke the Europa League record for goals (including a 12-0 battering of Braga), against Pep Guardiola's Manchester United, you'd expect a pretty decent match.
First half consisted entirely of us hoofing the ball out for throw-ins, and Guardiola's Man Utd hoofing us up in the air. Finally the ref sent one of them off in the 40th. The only surprise being that it wasn't Fat Roonaldo, who managed to get away with five fouls (two after being warned) before the ref finally located his little black book. Instead it was young United anchorman and soon-to-be Sunderland anchorman Peter Voorn, who barged our right-winger in the back shortly after his booking.
Second half, despite a Three Stooges multi-slap to my midfield, consisted of much of the same, although instead of booting it out for throw-ins we would pass listlessly up to the edge of the penalty area, lose the ball, then wait for Nani to dribble it out for a goal kick. Until Baines made a kamikaze header under no pressure across the penalty area, which my star striker Tom Holden gratefully half-volleyed into the net.
That was one of two chances in the entire game, and for obvious reasons it doesn't count as a proper chance created. The only proper chance was a semi-nice move ending with a lovely faded pass into the box, which my winger blasted against the upright. Ross Barkley secured victory with an admittedly classy volley from the edge of the area on the breakdown. We had no other shots on target. There were 7 to 4 shots in total.
But hey, I won the Europa League in my 6th season with Norwich so as the commentators say, he won't care a bit about that
. Going round for my second season intending to win the sextuple.